January 4, 2004
Volume IV - Issue 180
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SpinDizzy 2003 Year in Review
As 2003 winds down and 2004 starts, we can look back at the events that made the year special. Last year, SpinDizzy saw many events, fun role play activities, and celebrations. There are many more special things that have happened than can be listed here. But Adara, local cat, was kind enough to go through the @Action News archives and put this list of highlights together. Click on the links to go to the issues of @Action News with the full stories.
In February @Action News' Archives were put in order.
In April, the first annual Spindizzy Oscar Awards ceremony was held.
During June, Morticon became a SpinDizzy wizard, the Spindizzy jewel was stolen from Amalfi. a new connection record was set, the Retro weekend event was held. SED Headquarters was destroyed, after Morticon escapes from prison and Spindizzy advertises a need for police officers, and creates a force.
During November, Spindizzy's advertising campaign began.
This is a short list of the activities last year in our community. @Action News wishes everyone a happy and prosperous New Year, and promises to do its best to continue to support SpinDizzy and all the residents who make it such a great place.
Mole-asses Save the Day
What was at first a calm, pleasant evening in the Rose Garden turned dangerous when Adara, local feline, dropped an ant farm retrieved from Santa's Sleigh. The farm broke, releasing the ants into the garden. They began to cover the entire Rose Garden and climb over those gathered there. Many of those present, including Argon, local centaur, BarterGarter, local garter snake, and Cye, local 50 foot vixen, attempted to stop the ants with Raid and feet, but to no avail. As the residents of Spindizzy came into closer contact with these bugs, they discovered that these were no ordinary ants- they seemed to reproduce asexually, and at a rate of one division every two minutes or so! A herd of anteaters was brought in, but the ants were reproducing too quickly, and soon the anteaters became full. When the anteaters left, those in the Rose Garden noticed that the ants seemed to be climbing over themselves, as if they were piling up on themselves. The residents soon saw that the ants were, in fact, collecting together to create a giant super ant, who grew to be about 50 feet tall. The big ant began storming about, demanding to be taken to the leader of Spindizzy. Cye then came forward and bapped the creature on the head, telling it "no". The ant responded by punching Cye in the stomach and kicking over rosebushes, crying "LEADER NOW! LEADER NOW!". Cye retaliated, giving the ant a low kick that caused it to lose its balance, but not fall over.
Just as things seemed hopeless, Argon, local centaur, had a brilliant idea. He mockingly invited the big ant to see "the leader of Spindizzy"- Morticon, local evil wallaby. Taking Argon seriously, the Big Ant demanded that Morticon be brought forth to it. Morticon not being available just then, BarterGarter revealed a Morticon plushie and secretly hid in its pouch, so that she could control the plushie like a puppet. It was only then that the big ant revealed what it wanted.
Speaking as it did very loudly, (In full caps,) it shouted, "LEADER MORTI-CON! FOR MANY YEARS, YOUR LAND AND MINE HAVE LIVED SIDE BY SIDE IN HARMONY. BUT NOW, THINGS MUST CHANGE. YOUR SUBJECTS ARE STEPPING ON MY SUBJECTS, AND SUBJECTING THEM TO TERRORS BEYOND THEIR WILDEST NIGHTMARES. YOU MUST SUFFER OUR WRATH!...WITH THE BLOOD OF THIS, THE LEADER OF SPINDIZZY, OUR ANCESTORS WILL BE AVENGED!"
But the "Mortiplush", as it was soon dubbed, invited the ant to show how powerful it was by drinking a whole barrel of molasses (which was convieniently located in the Rose Garden). The ant agreed, but with one condition. When the Mortiplush laughed at the idea of conditions, the big ant threatened to destroy the Ancient Oak, and began tugging at its roots. The Mortiplush was forced to give in to the condition-
"BEFORE I EAT THAT BIG TUB OF BROWN MOL..MOL..MOLE-ASSES...I GET TO EAT YOU FIRST! THAT WILL AVENGE MY ANCESTORS!"
The Mortiplush agreed, and BarterGarter quickly slipped out of the plush's pouch. The big ant tossed the Mortiplush into the barrel of molasses and held it over his head, only to discover that molasses does not come out of a container easily. Fortunately, the molasses soon came out in one big glob, destroying the big ant and all the little ants that made it up.
Cleaning crews were called in overnight to clean up the ant and molasses mess.
In a related story, BarterGarter will soon be selling "Ant Pops" at her new cart.
Adara's Interview with Suri
Back, after a short Christmas break...
When you look at her, you see that Suri's a Lemur, with big golden eyes and a delicate gray muzzle, the colour of lightly oxidized zinc. The matching grey fur on her body dims to a near black on her paws and feet, contrasted by the warm white fur that covers her breast and tummy. A magnificently fluffulent black and white ringed tail sways behind her. At the moment, her tail is covered with a green and white knitted tube advertising 'BarterGarter's Cart' in large letters.**
Adara takes out her Steno pad and a pen, "Alright, let's begin with the basics. Name, species, age, anything you feel is important for starting out.
Suri says, "I'm Suri the Lemur. I'm a Lemur. I was born in the Secret Lemur City on Madagascar, but came here. That's why I'm here now."
Adara nods, "Why *did* you come here to Spindizzy?"
Suri says, "I'm the vanguard of the eventual Lemur Conquest of the Universe. It's the manifest destiny of Lemurs to spread throughout the universe. It's not like a violent conquest or anything -- just that as time goes on, you'll see more and more Lemurs, until eventually there're Lemurs everywhere."
Adara purrs, "What exactly do the Lemurs have to offer to the world, now that we'll be seeing more of them?"
Suri says, "We have long fluffulent tails. We can eat more fruit than most animals, and we make lots of cool noises."
Suri unwinds her tail, and wraps it around herself the other way.
Adara admires the aforesaid tail, "Very nice."
Suri prunkles cheerfully. "Thank you! It's a deluxe adjustable tail."
Adara purrs, "Now, before I move to the next topic, it may require some explaining on your part, as some of our readers may be unfamiliar with this aspect of...lemur-ness, if you will. What is the lemur connection to zinc?"
Suri says, "Zinc is the best of all the elements, just like Lemurs are the best of all the mammals. When life began, the line of life that eventually led to Lemurs began from zinc. When the Primordial Zinc was infused with microbe essence, it started on its way to becoming the life that would eventually lead to Lemurs. You may recall when I lost my Lemur Essence, and briefly reverted to being a Velociraptor? If I were stripped of all my animal essences, eventually I'd revert to zinc. You can see therefore that Lemurs have a close relationship with zinc."
Adara nods, "So, can you predict what will happen to zinc levels in the world, as the lemur population increases?"
Suri says, "Some pessimists predict that zinc will become rarer and even more valuable. However, there are efforts underway to manufacture zinc by nuclear reactions, plus the zinc mines of Titan have yet to be fully exploited, so that it's unlikely that we'll see a zinc shortage within our lifetimes."
Adara nods again, and flips the page of her Steno pad.
Adara purrs, "Well, let's turn to some more...local questions, eh?"
Adara purrs, "What is your favorite thing about Spindizzy and why?"
Suri says, "It seems to have a good class of players. The vast majority seem literate and intelligent, which you don't always get on some MU*s."
Adara nods and agrees, "Who on Spindizzy do you respect most, and why?"
Suri says, "Austin. He built the thing, and guided it to being what it is, which isn't easy."
Adara purrs, "Very true, very true."
Adara purrs, "Well, thank you so much Suri for taking time out to do an interview with me. I learned a lot about lemurs in general, and you in particular!"
Suri prunkles cheerfully.
Adara hands Suri a special present- a necklace made of zinc!
Suri yays! :D
Patch O'Black Puns
Kinsor, local fruitbat came up with some puns based on Patch O'Black's "Marshmellows".
And in a related story...
Gilead's Otterrible Puns
What pair of ferret cousins fought for justice for the animals of Hazard County?
What crooked sherriff did they oppose?
Who did the sherriff really work for?
You might be old if...
Would it be correct to say to a Spanish cat around Christmas, "Felis Navidad"?
If an elephant's trunk went on strike, would you picket in sympathy?
Why did Gilead turn on the air conditioning?
Why did Gilead sniff Cye when he had a cold?
Is an octopus who lost her husband a squidow?
What do you call the offspring of a wallaby and a wolf?
Did you know you can buy books on many farms?
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear Timeless: It provides another excuse to party all night and get drunk.
Hey Ba'ar, Am I better off buying stuff on-line or at the store?
Dear E. Bay: Buying online is far superior. You get to wait for the item, plus on top of the normal purchase price you get to pay shipping and handling.
Dear Ba'ar, Who has more tail rings; coatis, lemurs, or racoons?
Dear Ringy: They all have the same number of rings.
Dear Bearing Up, My clock is broken. What time is it?
Dear Morris Day. For you, it's time to get another clock.
Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to email@example.com. Thanks.
Hey gang! Ba'ar here. Once again, I'm doing the Spindizzy @Action News Survey again this week. My question this week is: What do you think is the biggest event to happen in Spindizzy in 2003?
The Doze Garden
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