@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

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BarterGarterís Cart is Destroyed

Earlier this week, in a loathsome display of corporate rivalry, local flea national park and evil wallaby SED director Morticon utterly destroyed beloved enterprise and historical landmark, BarterGarterís Cart.

The incident took place Friday evening when Morticon entered the Rose Garden and approached BarterGarterís establishment. Witnesses were quick to notice a large bulge in Morticonís pouch. Thankfully, the bulge was soon revealed not to be a little Morti Junior Joey but a mysterious, suspicious-looking set of complimentary SED paper Christmas trees and ornaments. Claiming these to be a token of goodwill from the SED, Morticon set the trees on the counter and proceeded to decorate them. Any protests BarterGarter had ready were placed on hold, being involved as she was in a legal discussion with Alicia regarding the authenticity of late cart payment claims from Aliciaís bosses.

Further litigation was cast aside when all of a sudden, Morticon ďaccidentlyĒ released one of the ornaments, which upon impact proved to be, in fact, a fire bomb! Surrounded on all sides by extremely flammable childrenís toys and sentimental memorabilia, BarterGarter was forced to leap for cover into her own soup pot. Concerned Rose Garden visitors tried desperately to extinguish the flames, but their valiant efforts were insufficient to counter Morticonís fiendish marsupial science. BarterGarter managed to escape unhurt from the burning wreckage, but it was soon apparent that none of her possessions survived the conflagration. Morticon was able to flee the scene of the crime without complications, and indeed was able to shoot a parting remark before leaving, ďThat will teach you to sell unauthorized plushes of me!Ē he shouted.

Due to the lack of firms that accept T-shirts and plushes as monthly payments, BarterGarter had no fire or vandalism insurance. On the other hand, BGís esteemed customers were quick to offer the snake financial aid, and Alicia soon recognized that the debt claims for her cartís original purchase were, in fact, just revealed to be the result of a bureaucratic error. Still, as of now, there is no telling as to what the future holds in store for BarterGarter. (No pun intended.)

When questioned whether or not this whole series of events was in fact part of an elaborate conspiracy to create a special SpinDizzy Christmas story plot, Morticon and BarterGarterís players refused to comment.

Morticon Awarded Prize

Morticon, local wallaby and SED leader was up in arms today. It seems he'd been presented The Napoleon Award by his subordinates in the SED, Mouser, local Furpent, and Warusa, local Tanuki. He was happy to receive the award and wore it proudly until Argon, local centaur, explained to him that The Napoleon Award was presented to the evil doer that is the most ambitious yet is the most inept at executing those ambitions. When hearing of this, Morticon turned about 5 different shades of red in rage and sped off toward the SED to handle his subordinates in, as he said at the time, "...the worst way possible."

New Arrivals

Newbie patpating Morticon.Every other week, I will be calling attention to the new members of our community. (Editor's Note; ...with the permission of each of the new folks featured, of course. Folks who don't want to be featured in this series, will of course, have that wish fufilled.) This is not to embarrass them, but rather I do it in the hopes that it will encourage everyone to give them a special welcome and friendship.

The following members are new to our community as of a week or two ago at most. Please give them a warm welcome and offer assistance if needed. Who knows, you might even make a new friend or two!

  • Shather - male warrah (Falkland Islands wolf) pup
  • Kevin - Male Canis lupus lycaon (Canadian grey wolf) - "Hyperactive and lovin' it?"
  • Scott- youthful innocent lonely disorganized artistic big Male Fox
  • Darquette- Female Dark Fae Pegadonkey
  • Rayne- Dragobunny
  • Sanogan- magical big snuggly curious cuddly Male Anthro-morphic Siberian Tiger. - "I'm a wandering mage(good) and willing to meet new furs."

Bearing Up

Ba'ar.Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Yo Bearin' Up,
Me and the homeie's were vidding a song on TV an they had a bear doing the funky hokey pokey. He had da moves! How bout the 411 on him?
From, DJ Funkenstien

Dear DJ Funkenstein:
How about dat dictionary for Christ'ms sos you can talk clearer?

Dear Ba'ar,
Is it polite to wake a bear when he's hibernating to give him a Christmas present?
From, Claude

Dear Claude:
Sure it is, if it's the last thing you wish to do before a lengthy hospital stay.

Bear Dearing Up,
No idea what that means but it looked interesting when I mistyped it. Is Dr. Freud trying to tell me something?
Your Friend, Cye-co (Not the 50 foot one!)

Dear Cye-co:
Bearing up thinks you have too much time on your paws. Get a life.

Dear Bearing up,
The raccoons don't bother my garbage but the bears do. Raccoons aren't as big as bears, and when they tip over a garbage can it rarely ends up on the other side of the yard. What should I do?
from, Prince Albert

Dear Prince Albert:
Get some raccoon and bear proof cans. Than should take care of the problem.

Hey Ba'ar!
Just a note to say "Thanks!" for doing 'Bearing Up' each week. I always enjoy seeing what you'll have to say about some of the stuff folks write about. Keep up the good work!

Dear Argon. Thank you very much. It's comments like yours that make it worthwhile to write the column.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News, suggested by Gilead. The question this week is, 'What's your favorite seasonal TV special?"

  • Cye says, "I'll go with the classic How the Grinch Stole Christams... The Chuck Jones one!! The other is blasphemy!"
  • Rainbow says, "I like the Peanuts/Charlie Brown Christmas special."
  • Borris says, "Is Ranma 1/2 Christmas Special."
  • Suri -- Rudolph
  • Austin -- A Charlie Brown Christmas.
  • PatchO'Black -- Mine would be a toss up between "A Charlie Brown Christmas", a classic, "A Garfield Christmas", for the fun songs, and "Santa Claus Vs. The Snowman", because it has Santa saying "Ready my personal attack vehicle! Santa Claus is comin' to town!"
  • Roofus_roo says, "Oh. I tend to like "Blackadder's Christmas Carol" cause it's a good antidote to the usual schmaltzy holiday shows. :> "
  • Sasha says, "I think my favorite is Rudolph."
  • Penance hrms. "I don't watch TV, but seeing Pioneer 2 decked out for the holidays in PSO (Phantasy Star Online) is always nice..."
  • Keith... unsure what to make of the bear.
  • Butterfluff says, "Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. But I haven't seen it in years and years."
  • Leslie ohs. "Mickeys Christmas Carol!"
  • BarterGarter hisses, "Wallaby season hunting tips!"
  • Spikey brays, "Oh oh! How The Grinch Thtole Chithtmath..the cartoon one, by Seuss and Chuck Joneth!"
  • Gilead -- Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas. Naturally.

Notices And Corrections

Be all you can be.

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Monday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News