@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

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@Action News celebrates 250th issue!

Since before than April 18, 1998, which is a date refered to in the earliest copy of "The Ferret", that is in the archives, SpinDizzy and its predecesor, Toons Furrs and Fluff have had a newspaper. Starting as The Ferret, then a short stint as The Floating Log of Death (Numbers one and two. Yes there's a base joke there, but lets leave it at that,) @Action News started publication with Issue #3 which featured the first Doze Garden cartoon.

What started as a fun little project that I had hoped would be supported and filled up by the talented writers and artists of SpinDizzy became a bit of an obsession. I've always been proud that the paper is fairly regular. Although it misses a week or two once in a while, I am told it is one of the most regular and longest lived muck, mud, moo, or RP group based publications. Although the paper owes its success to many, a few who come to mind are Austin, Findra, Ba'ar, Gilead, Zach, Leslie, Kinsor, Morticon, Suri, Mouser, and of course, Butterfluff. All of these folks and more have made @Action News what it is today.

I hadn't really thought about making a special edition of #250. We celebrated at the publication of the 100th and 200th issues, and I had just planned to wait until issue 300 for a big whoop-de-do, but I had a few folks mention that the 250th issue was coming up and they seemed to expect something special for it. Although no articles or stories were contributed on that subject, I can't let my readers down, so you have this little mention of the fairly long history of @Action News and the acknowledgement of just a few of the folks who have helped make the paper a success.

Thanks to all of you for keeping interest in the paper going, and contributing to make it what it is today!

Editor - @Action News

Dungeons and Dragons references lead to silliness

The following took place in the Rose Garden the other night:

Darius summons...golstaff, sorceror of light.
Darius makes it attack the darkness.
Darius says, "With magic missle."
Gilead wants to do the girls in the tavern.
Darius snickers
Shady_Raccoony acks! Gilead beat him!
Darius says, "Got to get drunk first gilead"
" Shady_Raccoony rolls the dice to see if Gilead is getting drunk.
Gilead chirps, "No way. Then I'll wind up doing the ugly ones and not knowing it until the next day."
Sanogan casts Dome of Silence on the whole (Rose Garden).
Shady_Raccoony counters with a simple vocalize spell.
Darius says, "Wise fwom yo gwave!"
Darius says, "Power up!"
Darius says, "Welcome to your doom!"
Darius says, "pshooooo"
Felina turns undead, wearing flowing robes and casts 'Shadow word: Pain'!
Sanogan snickers and casts Feeblemind on Daruis and Charm Person on Shady, at Epic level, mage DC 60 save or else.
. Shady_Raccoony triggers a wild surge and flings a cow at Sanogan.
Sanogan grins and turns the cow into a rain of flowers via Polymorph Any Object.
Darius gets really dumb, forgets he can breath, and suffocates.
Shady_Raccoony rolls a one.
Shady_Raccoony no waits.
Shady_Raccoony rolls 1d20, and gets 4.

The conversation soon turned to who would win a fight between Jar Jar Binks and an Ewok. Most felt if both lost it would be a good thing,

Morticon proposed to

Morticon, local wallaby and alledged leader of the Society of Evil Doers, found himself the object of feline affections this week.

After arriving in the Rose Garden, Morticon mentioned having SED listening devices all over SpinDizzy. He even mentioned having listened to Argon, local centaur, whispering sweet nothings into the ears of his lovely wife, Mavra, also a local centaur. Argon wondered if Morticon had been listening to him, why he was still single as his "sweet nothings" seemed to have been found attractive by Mavra. Morti decided then and there to reveal some of the "sweet nothings" he had heard.

This caught the ear of Selethrial, local male fox. Selethrial asked Morticon to marry him and, being caught proposing without a ring, Argon offered him an Ovalteen secret decoder ring. Grabbing the wallaby by the tail, Selethrial slipped the ring over its tip and announced they were engaged! Morticon seemed taken by suprise by this turn of events, and was even further flustered as Tami, local coyote arrived.

Quickly assesing the situation, she asked Morticon if she meant that little to him that he would cheat on her. Selethrial, suggested that Morticon could be cloned and then both he and Tami could have a Morticon of their own. Past history suggests that Morticon has a cloning machine, but he denies it completely.

As of press time, it is unclear whether Tami has taken Morticon back, or if he has accepted Selethrial's offer. In either case it is probable that he is sleeping on the couch.

Violet's goat gotten

Violet, cartoon skunk donkey-centaur, discovered Sunday morning the excitement which can arise from experiments with a transmogrifier box. She had previously suffered a series of not entirely predictable reversals between her skunk and her centaur form, and whist working on this was stuck in a form with a donkey-like body below her torso, other than for her skunk tail.

From friend mad scientist Doctor Sprokitt Violet got a rather shiny black box, a transmogrifier, with its display reading 'skunk'. Her instructions were to set the dial and press the button. After taking Austin's advice regarding the potential for mishaps and catastrophe such devices offer ("Minutes later, Violet was to find herself a cartoon skunktaur-tree hybrid. Kern and Ing strongly approved") she found a nice empty patch of the garden far away from prominent side effects. She pressed the button and nothing happened except for the arrival of Felix ("You cast `summon squirrel, Violet, that's what it did.")

With the young squirrel now observing Violet found her tail shrinking to a triangular puff, and her body dwindling -- various of her articles (horseshoes, anvils, encyclopedias, et cetera) -- and the torso disappearing into her quadruped body. Before much longer she had become a purple goat. She hoofed the box, to find it was now, accurately, reading 'goat'.

Violet found the new body comfortable and still quite animated. Her eating habits were rather more catholic, encompassing anything which could be found. Of particular novelty was her new interest in eating books, with the side effect that she remembered all that she ate.

While attempts to change back were made by licensed body-sculptor Sanogan, they had no lasting effect. Many may wonder about the unfortunate track record people have with transmogrification it is worth noting the dictionary definition of `transmogrify' is `to change or alter greatly, often to grotesque or comic effect,' and Spindizzy is a registered haven for comic behavior.

At last report Violet was hoping for someone to lend her a hand.

Violet still having troubles

As noted above, Violet, local scent-taur, now goat, found herself in further difficulty later the same day in the Rose Garden.

At this reporter's arrival, Violet's goat body was wandering around as her goat head sat in Beltromi, local balloon-dragon's lap. Soon, Beltrami was using it as a puppet as Nysa, local Nikon sized squirrel tried to make repairs to the "Transmogrifier Box".

Soon, Morticon, local wallaby and alledged leader of the Society of Evil Doers, arrived and took notice of the goings on. He soon decided to look at Violet's head and with his unusual interest and reactions to such things, slipped it on over his own like a mask.

This, along with an interesting glow coming out of Violet's goat body's neck where her head should have been, led to Morticon's fur starting to turn purple!

Due to an urgent call away from the Rose Garden, I have been unable to find out what happened. So when you see Beltrami, Nysa, Violet or Morticon, ask them how this ended up

Shady Raccoony gives up demon hunting

Shady Raccoony, who used to be a raccoon and is turned into a human again, said Saturday he didn't want to fight any more demons at all. He used to try fighting demons, catching them by surprise when they're not ready. The last one he fought though had a surprise. Shady Raccoony used to be a raccoon, because before that he was a human and a demon took away his memories and turned him into a raccoon, and that's when he started out fighting demons again.

But he found that same demon and when he fought her she gave him back his memories and human body and he started thinking maybe he sort of deserved to be turned into a raccoon in the first place. So now he isn't so sure if demons are bad all the time. Even though he's human now Shady Raccoony doesn't want to change his name. He was thinking about what new adventures to do--he has to find his enchanted knife for one, and could maybe go adventuring raiding ancient tombs. Aleu the vampire bat too said she'd be willing to fight Shady Raccoony for the fun of it--he didn't even know anybody would want to fight him if he asked first.

Also. but it wasn't connected, Violet the skunk-centaur got turned into a goat. She was and still is a cartoon though and likes eating.

Zach also said his friend Tzolkin who was sick and Tzolkin's friend who was caught in a cave-in were doing better, even though they didn't find a doctor. I was going to try to help with magic but we couldn't get in the hospital pod where Tzolkin's friend was kept. Beltrami and Roofus were able to help though Zach said.

Putting on the Sith

Gilead chirps, "o/~ If you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where power sits? Puttin' on the Sith... o/~"
Gilead chirps, "o/~ Dif'rent types who use a Force Choke, red light saber, or destroy a planet just for kicks? Puttin' on the Sith... o/~"
Gilead chirps, "o/~ Dressed up like a elite Storm Trooper. Tryin' mighty hard to kill Luke on that scooter. o/~"

( (computer voice) SUPER TROOPER! )

Gilead smiles!

In step with: GrumpyBear


Greetings! Ba'ar here with the latest in a series of interviews with the local residents of Spindizzy. Today we sit down to talk to Grumpybear, local Care Bear.

GrumpyBear has arrived.

Ba'ar smiles "Thanks for consenting to this interview grumpy...It was very nice of you."

GrumpyBear sits on the floor. GrumpyBear grumbles, "You're welcome, Ba'ar."

Ba'ar smiles "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?

GrumpyBear grumbles, "Since Sunday, June 24th 2001."

Ba'ar nods "About four years....great...What brought you to Spindizzy? Are you on a 'caring mission'?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "I am semi-retired. I mostly take a passive role in Sharing and Caring on Spindizzy. If Florida is a good place for old people to retire, I suppose Spindizzy is a good place for Care Bears to."

Ba'ar nods "It is.. Do you live in the Care a Lot community or do you live elsewhere?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "I share a small house with Bedtime Bear, in Care-a-Lot."

Ba'ar nods "What's a typical day like for a carebear? Do you have a set schedule?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "I guess I have a routine of sorts. I get up early, brush my teeth and have a bubble bath, then I have breakfast and check my pager for messages. A lot of spindizzians come to me privately for counselling and sometimes they have problems they want to talk about when I'm not available, so they leave messages and I try to get back to them first thing after breakfast."

Ba'ar nods "What's the training like for a carebear? Do you go to school to be a carebear?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "We learn from other Care Bears. Everyone helps everyone by sharing knowledge. If you want to be come a Care Bear or a Cousin, you have to learn the role from a Care Bear. In general, it's more of a disposition and a set of moral guidelines than a discipline."

Ba'ar growls, "I see. Now then. Did you and your group star in all those Carebear movies or did you have doubles? "

GrumpyBear grumbles, "We did the animated series and the full-length animated features.. The CGI feature that was released recently had nothing to do with us, and in fact, Funshine was a bit offended at being depicted as a male."

Ba'ar nods..."Speaking of the CGI movies....How do you feel about the resurgence in popularity of the Care Bears? "

GrumpyBear grumbles, "I think it's unfair that only a few of the Bears and not many Cousins are getting attention due to licensing issues, and I think it's unnatural and a little weird that they changed the tummy symbols around on us."

Ba'ar growls, "Why do you think that some bears are picked for the revival and not the others? You're equally caring aren't you? and (if I do say so myself) equally cute."

Ba'ar growls, "Is it because they don't want to ?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "My character role has always been fairly popular as well as Funshine's, Cheer's and Good Luck's. Some of the other bears are less popular, so it's not market savy to pay for licensing to produce inventory that won't sell. Harmony, for example. There are a few products made under her label, but the license for the original tummy symbol was more expensive than the value of her product line, so they used the name but made up a new symbol."

Ba'ar nods "I see. I hope the other bears get back in the groove soon..."

Ba'ar growls, "Now then..I understand there are creatures calling themselves 'Care Bear Predators'. How do you keep away from them?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "They don't approach me because they know I have a strong backing, and that my Stare is very potent. I also try to watch over the various Cousins, but they are pretty keen as well. I know that some Care Bears have disapeared though..."

Ba'ar growls, "Do you Carebears have some kind of radar to alert you of the predators' presence?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "No we don't. I don't think we've ever thought of it, since it hasn't been a problem before. Bright Heart is pretty good with that sort of stuff though, I'm sure he could come up with something should the need arise."

Ba'ar nods "Who do you admire the most (in or out of the Carebear community that is)?

GrumpyBear grumbles, "Probably my owner. That would be you. As far as Bears or Cousins, I would say that I have an open and significant admiration of all of the Caring family, the few of us that are left around here."

Ba'ar nods "Do you have any plans for the future?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "As soon as Zach works out his identity issues I intend to induct him into the Hall of Hearts as a Cousin. I'm hoping to make him a PR point for the Kingdom and I am also hoping he will help with recruiting efforts."

Ba'ar nods

Ba'ar growls, "Speaking of which...What qualities would you be looking for in a prospective Care Bear or Care Bear Cousin?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "It is necisary to uphold the highest of moral standards. No hazing, no stealing, no profanity, no sexual inuendo or public participation in sexual acts, no lying or even fibbing and no affiliation with SED. Those are some of the basics, plus you have to have a real strong dedication to caring and the desire to share and promote caring and love in the community. And you have to conform to the generally-accepted image of a Care Bear while participating in Caring activities, including the tummy symbol."

Ba'ar growls, "Just occured to me...on the subject of becoming a Care Bear or Care Bear Cousin, is it safe to assume that you're the one to go to if a SDer wants to join up?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "Myself, Times Heart, Bedtime Bear or Zach can address that, but I will be the primary point of contact."

Ba'ar nods "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "A lot of people assume that I'm organic but I am in fact a plushie part of the time and a toon the rest."

Ba'ar smiles "With me as your owner, I would want to know that more than anyone. I'll remember that next time I want to cuddle you."

Ba'ar growls, "In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

GrumpyBear grumbles, "Sharing is Caring."

Ba'ar smiles "That completes our interview. Again thanks alot for taking time to do it."

GrumpyBear grumbles, "You're welcome, mister bear."

Gilead's Hopping Mad Puns

Q: Why doesn't Morticon ever shop on evilBay?
A: He prefers to have Mouser do his evil bidding for him.

Q: What do you call an animal that's not quite a macropod?
A: A wannaby.

Q: Why did Dot get to ride around in a kangaroo's pouch so much?
A: Frequent Flyer miles.

Q: What do you get when you mix Australian flour into melted Australian butter?
A: A kangaroux.

Q: What do you call it when a wallaby has a slight weight problem?
A: Carrying around a pounch.

Q: How do flyers practice for carrying around a joey?
A: They work out with a pouching bag.

Q: Why did the wallaby smile? A: He was hoppy.

Q: Did you see that Zeroo Wing flash animation?
A: What hoppin!!!! Somebody set up us the boomer!!!

Q: How do you calm down a wallaby?
A: Give him a SED-ative.

Q: Why do kangaroos have such a sunny disposition?
A: Hop springs eternal in the macropod hindleg.

Zach's Quoted Quote Question

Can you guess where the quote was said who said it and as a bonus this week what is the missing word. See the bottom of the paper for the answer.

"An operator helps Bel do ___________ things."

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Just as a note, this makes a full year @Action News has been showing our circulation numbers. Yay!

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
I've heard that the PFIND command has been fixed. However when I gave PFIND MORTICON, I got a message back 'Why would you want to find him'? In my mind, the PFIND command doesn't work.
- Mo. User.

Dear Mo. User:
No. Morticon's rather an evil sort and shouldn't be located. The command works perfectly.

Dear Bearing Up:
What should we be doing during holidays?
- P. Hardy

Dear P. Hardy:
As little as possible.

Dear Bearing Up:
How easy is it to find a girlfriend?
- Lonely

Dear Lonely:
It's easy to find a girlfriend...but it's hard to find a girlfriend who will stay with you for more than one night.

Dear Bearing Up,
Are the "litigants" in the TV court shows real, or are they rejects from the Jerry Springer show?
- J. Wapner

Dear J. Wapner:
Neither! They're Maury Povich rejects!

Dear Bearing Up,
Is it going to rain tomorrow?
- W. Scott

Dear W. Scott:
It depends on if there are thunderclouds in the air.

Dear Bearing Up,
Is Florida going to get more hurricanes this year?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
No. The Florida lawmakers are done for the season. No more 'wind bags'.

Dear Bearing Up,
Where can I get a Ba'ar plush?
- Snuggle Bear

Dear Snuggle Bear:
From your own effort of course!

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, Argon is asking, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. This weeks question, suggested by Ba'ar is, "What is the most obnoxious commercial you have seen?

  • Phoex says, "The most obnoxious one I've heard is those stupid American Satellite ones :P"
  • Ba'ar growls, "For me (as a big guy) It's those "Cortislim" commercials...especially so because I know they're based on junk science.]"
  • Darius hates all commercials of course. they are nothing but examples of the filth of the american capitilist pig-dog ;)
  • Gilead remembers an old diet product that was basically a gelatin capsule filled with tapeworm eggs.
  • Felina mews, "The 'Whaaaaaaattttttzzzz uuuuuppppp!' Commercial.. That was dumb but it didn't stop there millions of brain washed morons started spouti8ng there version of it on the streets like a plage!"
  • Darius dispisies the Wendy's Salad commercial the ehhh uuuhh eeeeh aaaah commerical
  • Sanogan gently rumbles, "the 'Dude your getting a Dell' commercials, I still cringe at the thought of them.. How they thought a loopy teenager would sell computers I wont know."
  • Andrew says, "The one with the guy in the hot tub promoting immodium."
  • Gilead chirps, "I can't pick one, but I'd have to say it was one of the many Trix commercials. I always wished the Trix Rabbit would just start jumping around and biting the kids' heads off, like in that movie with the knights."
  • ShishiOsa says, "Easy, the old Crazy Eddie ones"
  • Carl - That one for M-Azing candy with the kid that walks her legs all around her torso. It gives me the creeps!
  • Violet can't think of one especially obnxious... "Well maybe the Quiznos ones with the singing dead rodent things....
  • Beltrami writes out 'STYRIS ULTRONIC/ TIGER CAMPAIGN' and shows it to Argon.
  • Nimble chitters quietly, "I do dislike the TelecomNZ ad where a very irritating guy with a microphone accosts people on the street and invades their homes, asking what mobile txt plan they're on..."
  • Andrew says, "Any of those medication commercials that list a ton of side effects."

Zach's Quoted Quote Answer

Now introducing the new Special Furperative edition. Determine who is the spy, who is traitor in your group and what are they doing with the transmogrify ray. Can you find the secret society. Find out in this Capitol of Champions expansion.

Yes you bet this took place in the Rose Garden, and today's missing word was Superheroic. As for our speaker it was Nysa, curious tinkering squirrel girl.

Congratulation to all of you that guessed right!

The Spindizzy Puppeteers' Guild Wants you!!!

Bearing Up logo.

Whether you're a puppeteer just starting out or a seasoned projust wanting to talk shop, The Spindizzy Puppeteers' Guild wants you! We are a group that meets Saturday nights (2100 MUCK time) at the Spindizzy Puppet Theatre (t #10605) to discuss topics ranging from the latest puppet happenings at conventions to showing off the latest in what we have done puppet-wise.

The meetings are open to everyone and best of all free as we collect no dues. Come visit us to learn the basics of puppetry or to brush up on your puppetry skills. See you there!

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News