@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

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Mozdoc Delights, Amuses Wizards With Inept Demands

Mozdoc Alicentaur, the only person to have been banished from Spindizzy twice, continued his campaign of ineptly demanding to be let back on this week. In an e-mail sent to Findra, to the new-character creation account on Spindizzy, and to the new-character creation account on FurryMuck he inaccurately claimed he had served over two years of suspension from Spindizzy and characterized Findra as an "[ expletive ] [ expletive ] [ expletive ] [ expletive ]-soaked [ expletive ] [ expletive ] of [ expletive ]." Close friends regard that characterization of Findra as "inaccurate."

Mozdoc became notorious on Spindizzy in November and December of 2000 when his obsession with solving a maze Argon constructed in Centaur Square lead him to an obsession with Argon, ending in Mozdoc's guessing of Argon's password and logging in as the senior centaur. After several of Argon's rooms were vandalized (to mark the direction through the maze) wizards examining the matter noticed Mozdoc and the hacked Argon account being used in rapid succession from Mozdoc's IP address.

In his defense, Mozdoc protested that his connections were from a school computer, and clearly what had occured was when he stepped away from his computer, a friend would -- within the second -- jump onto the computer he had been using and connect, disconnecting the instant he saw Mozdoc's player reenter the room. This alleged friend would have had a character named Argon, intended for some other muck, and by freakish chance not only have the same password as Argon but would also not notice that he was connecting to Spindizzy rather than to the other muck. The wizards are still laughing about this one.

What was originally a six-month banishment from the muck was expanded indefinitely when first Mozdoc attempted to break through the site ban by the expedient of repeatedly connecting to Spindizzy. In one 36-hour period he registered at least 1,100 failed connections, each one caught and ended by the muck's site banishment. (The actual number of accounts is higher than that; not all of his failed attempts to connect were recorded.) After finally giving up on this attack he obtained a new ISP and as the character Myana attempted to evade the site banishment, which worked until such time as a wizard noticed him.

Since his banishment the second time from Spindizzy Mozdoc has gone on to become the first person ever banished from HoneyBadger's Burrow on FurryMuck; and then to be banished from FurryMuck, FurToonia, FluffMuck, Sociopolitical Ramifications, Unbridled Desires, Tapestries, Fuzzy Logic, RaccoonMuck, TigerMuck, FoxMuck, WolfMuck, BadgerMuck, KangarooMuck, OtterMuck, FurrySpace Muck, MobiusMuck, SonicMuck, Knothole Muck, Knothole Village Muck, MobiusMoo, MobiusMush, SonicMoo, SonicMush, Knothole Moo, Knothole Mush, Knothole Village Moo, Knothole Village Mush, Lion King Muck, Swat Kats Muck, Townsville Muck, Powerpuff Moo, BaltoMuck, Little Mermaid Muck, Cool Runnings Muck, Snow Dogs Muck, Road Rovers Muck, Freakazoid Muck, Breezley and Sneezley Muck, Pokemuck, Pokemon Muck, Pokemon Moo, Pocket Monster Muck, Pocket Monster Moo, Pocket Monster Mush, Digimuck, Digimon Muck, Digimoo, DigiMush, Redwall Muck, Furtasia, Furcadia, Twilight Muck, SuperMegaTopia Muck, Latex Blue Muck, Calvin and Hobbes Mush, Get Fuzzy Muck, Ozy and Millie Moo, Boston and Shawn Mush, Kevin and Kell Muck, LambdaMoo, and has been retroactively banished from Islandia, which closed in 1992.

Mozdoc has since occasionally sent batteries of e-mails to one or more wizard demanding to be restored to Spindizzy, typically overstating the time he has been banished and standing on some imagined right to be on Spindizzy. The typical letter also contains harsh language directed at Findra, the server wizard. In recent months the mails have been also sent to one or more of the other mucks from which Mozdoc has been banished.

The self-described "very unique" centaur had a glittering magical unicorn horn, a third eye in the middle of his forehead, wings, and in the "centaurpede" shape several hundred equine torsos in a row. According to one artist asked to draw this creation, the centaurpede is an idea taken from one of the later Xanth novels by Piers Anthony, making Mozdoc the first person over the age of fourteen to have read past about the eighth of those books, and one of the few people ever to admit it. That illustration is at Pixel's Thoughts, on Prismfx.com. Make of it what you will.

When asked for comments the wizards of Spindizzy began giggling, burst into open laughter, and were still laughing as of press time.

Revelry and Gatherings

Inside the quiet doors of Charlie’s Bar, an unusual happening took place this last Friday at 2100 MUCK time. Members of the MUCK gathered on the stools and around the tables, bumping elbows with Elwood and his invisible rabbit. Yet not a single one ordered a martini… mostly because they preferred margaritas and single shots. This was the second-ever helpstaff meeting.

But what did they discuss besides beginning to see Elwood’s white rabbit? Communications, the SpinDizzy website, helpstaff policies, and an attempt to get a few cread articles together into what amounts to a reference site, among other things. If you’re interested in reading the excerpt, check the page at http://www.spindizzy.org/helpstaff/oldmeet.html.

Thanks to everyone who showed and participated, and I look forward to seeing you around! Also, helpstaff meetings are open to anyone...just check the bboard for days and times. Generally, future ones will be 2100 MUCK time.

Oh Coati, Where Art Thou?

With the number of inquiries concerning the whereabouts of Austin, local Elastic Coati, it seemed a few rumors need to be refuted.

Austin is not a subject of a secret government project to find ways to stretch the budget. This rumor was based on hearsay and has no basis in fact. Austin's elastic qualities are physical and limited to his person. They are not at this time, transferable.

Austin has not been captured by a traveling carnival which is displaying him between the dancing Elephant man's bones, and the talking carrot. That exibition includes an elastic coat, not Coati.

In reality, Austin is back in Singapore fighting terrorists who are exchanging Folgers instant coffee for fresh brewed at fine resturants. He is on almost daily in the mornings here, which is the evening in Singapore. Austin reports that SpinDizzy is quite active in the early morning hours, which is more than I can say for myself because I like to sleep late.

Austin appreciates eveyone's concern, and the three or more qmails folks have sent him wishing him well. He expects to return to his nocternal schedule soon.

Yet Another Arkiphantasmal Letter: Some Weird Stuff Explained (sort of)

Recently, we received another mysterious letter. Just like the previous letter (see Volume II - Issue 96 - 4/28/2002), this one looked just like ordinary paper except for one slight difference: it cannot be touched or manipulated. It is almost as though it was made out of pure light.

Well, some even more confusing things happened, so I guess I have some explaining to do. I failed to get my body back, but all was not lost. I bargained with Death and got myself reincarnated for a surprisingly small fee. That guy (or girl, depending on whether or not you have ever read The Sandman graphic novels) is not so bad.

There was just one slight problem. My essence was transported to a new form, but my mind is now trapped deep inside this nasty creature. It seems Death made a mistake. I was sent inside a sentient being!

This creature I have been trapped inside calls himself ‘Professor Woah,’ but he usually will respond to my name. He is a pathetic little flightless carnivorous bird without the capability to feed himself properly. How sad!

So, I will appreciate anybody’s help in defeating this Woah. So far, I have made much progress by attacking him while he dreams. I still have power in the dream world, which is how I managed to send this letter. Once I destroy his mind, I will be able to take over his body and do what I need to in order to return to my natural form.

As for anybody that tries to help Woah, though I know nobody will do that, keep in mind that I can send out more than pretty little letters.

Best Wishes,


P.S. To ensure that you do not confuse us, I will explain the differences. My natural form is made partly out of stuff that does not exist and partly out of stuff that does. Now I have no form and I only inhabit dreams. Professor Woah has a real body with useless wings. His metallic feathers add so much to his weight that there is no way for him to ever fly. As for his personality, don’t worry about that. I’m taking that over.

P.P.S. Those of you who enrolled in Professor Woah’s Reality Transmutation class at Morticon University had better chose sides wisely, if you catch my drift. He might have a little bit of psychokinesis, but I can do some other… interesting things to the fabric of reality.

Just like with the previous letter, there were more mysterious characters that our top scholars still can’t make heads or tails of. These images are still classified, but might be revealed to the general public.

Woah: Self Proclaimed Master Thief

Professor Woah carefully climbed up and through a window that led to the Spin Dizzy News Secret Headquarters

Woah: Self Proclaimed Master Thief "Huff... puff... Flying would ever so much easier... now, time to steal office supplies for my new role as professor at Morticon University."

Professor Woah took out two erasers and bashed them together, spreading chalk into the air. The chalk was lit up by several red laser lights. "Piece of cake for somebody small like me. Isn't it amazingly convenient that SDnews went through all the trouble to set up a laser alarm system, but then set them up so that anybody could sneak past it so easily? You'd think they would be clever enought to configure the lasers so that nobody could squeeze past, even if they knew where the laser traps were."

The rogue carnivorous avian crept through the silent halls. He jumped every once in a while, startled by the pitter-patter of his own avian heart, or even by the sound of his own feet echoing through the hallways

"Confound these doorways, all with doorknobs so high up. Ah, here is one door that somebody left open. A good place to start my search."

Woah pushed open the door with his beak, scratching it slightly. "Ah, jackpot. Pens, paper, staples..."

Then he saw something that he really did not want to see. The Arkiphantasmal Letter. "No... is it real? From all those nightmares... No!... And there seems to be secret writing on here... perhaps I can decode it. Yes, I should take the letter for my own investigation. It is for the good of the University that this little doozey be kept under wraps."

Woah used psychokinesis to pick up the letter (along with several office supplies) and shoved them into the (almost) invisible magical pack that he always carried on his back. Afterwards, he notice another arkiphantasmal letter, the first one Arkitah sent. Woah stole this one as well.

"Wow, that was easy. Now all I need to do is escape... and hope that there aren't any hidden cameras around here... but of course, there would not be at SD news."

Woah looked out the door cautiously, and observed two cloaked and unidentified characters making small talk in the distance.

"Spin Dizzy News Storm Troopers... good thing I have the powers of the force."

Woah carefully waved one wing slightly. One SDNST looked aside and asked, "What was that?" The other informed him, "Oh, it was probably just the pipes again. This place is a plumber's nightmare. Ever wonder where world seven of Super Mario Brothers Three was held?... ... Not here, but it would have been neat if it had been."

While the SDNST were distracted, Woah scurried off. "I hope I can make it out of here safely... The key to defeating Arkitah once and for all might be in this letter, if I can only decode the secret writing."

But if Professor Woah had studied his Star Wars lore, he would have remembered to check himself for a tracking device... this just would not be fun if it was that easy.


Weekly Survey

This week, Argon told folks, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News. The question this week is, 'What name would you give the subject of this image?

  • Kinsor hisses, "I would call it 'Blanket, partially obscured.'"
  • Gilead barks, "Sox N. Gluvz."
  • Royce churrs, "Fergie!"
  • Ba'ar growls, "the only caption I can see for it is 'ain't I the CUTEST?'"" Ceralor quietly says, "A PLushie Minky!"
  • Mavra says, "Oh, that's Mr. Ferret!"
  • Denise softly says, "Hmm.. Mr Tagbutt Ferret.. :)"
  • PatchO'Black mews, "A felt ferret!"
  • Butterfluff says, "Ferry the Ferret."
  • Terry chitters, "Bandit. All ferrets are named bandit."
  • Eliahn yips, "Pseudo-weasel."
  • Rown says, "Piddy pat the ferret. LOL!"
  • Ark says, "Ark."
  • Gino writes "My caption would be "now what mischief can I get into now?"
  • Shoe says, "Dan the ferret?"
  • Olivia says, "The ferret is named Fancy."
  • Arkitah chirrups, "'Stop Looking At Me Like That.'"
  • Rick says, "Argon, I would name the ferret in the pictaure Tags."
  • Denise softly says, "I said for the pic.. Mr. Tagbutt. :)"

Crossword Puzzle Answers

The answers to last week's crossword puzzle can be found here.

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to argon@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.

Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.Ę