@ Action News

Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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Lemurs don't like to be smelled

Suri, local lemur, confirmed again what she had often infered; that lemurs don't like to be smelled. As most folks who know Sur are aware, she does not like to be smelled by others.

Natasha, local coati who, except for being female, resembles Austin Dern, local coati's appearance of a few years ago, and has only recently been seen publically again, decided to smell Suri. As is usual, the friendly lemur resisted this by her usual statement, "No smelling the Lemur!"

Natasha then sniffed at Suri, saying "You're just embarrassed that your scent setting is so bland, aren't you?" and smelled her again.

Suri acked! again as she was smelled. "If I'm smelled too much, it'll use up allmy molecules." Suri then took refuge in the rose bushes out of reach of too curious noses, "My cousin Phoobia used to collect for the Don't Smell the Lemurs Association. She had to stop because she lost too much weight walking door to door, and they were afraid that she'd not have enough molecules in reserve if someone smelled her."

Asked what Phoobia collected for the DSTLA. Suri answered, "Usually money. Or fruit. Soemtimes zinc."

Asked by, The_Antiraccoon, local human if she couldn't have just used perfume, Suri answered, If you put on perfume, people will smell you more."

Several alternatives were offered by the crowd until Royce, local Senior raccoon, arrived. Being told about the conversation concerning smelling lemurs, Royce sniffsniffed remarking, "Hmm? Smells lemury to me..."

The moral of the story? No smelling the Lemur!

DSL Issues

To those people who've been annoyed by the problems with network connectivity issues recently, my apologies. It seems that one of the connections in our garage was poor, which we found by jiggling cables.

I've punched it down again, and it seems to be working fine now (for the last few minutes), and our noise margin is much better than it was before. Please keep your fingers or appropriate extremities crossed for me.

Ba'ar's Anniversary

It's been one year since @Action News named Ba'ar, local bear, as its Associate Editor.

The friendly ursine has done a fine job of keeping "Bearing Up", "In Step With", and the Weekly Survey features running, and provided the occasional news article. In addition, Ba'ar has stepped up as editor while Argon went out to the west coast visit the lovely Mavra, local centaur, and while he had knee surgery.

So next time you see Ba'ar, congratulate him on doing a good job.

Local centaur needs assistance

I need some help from all of you. As you know, my work hours have changed and I'm not able to spend as much time here as I used to. This means I don't see as many things to write about for the paper.

I could sure use some assistance in gathering stories for @Action News. I'd prefer a couple of paragraphs rather just a log. Logs are a bit of a pain to thread through and make a story out of, and not having been there it's sometimes hard to read into a log the context of what;s recorded.

So be observant, watch what's going on and take a crack at writing up a summary as an article for the paper. Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org and let others share in the fun you're having here.

Argon, Editor, @Action News

Gilead's Un-bear-able Puns

Gilead's Un-bear-able Puns

Q: Why did the church change its sound?
A: It was re-chiored.

Q: Why do ursines go skinny-dipping?
A: They're always bear.

Q: What's covered in armor and opposes Ter?
A: The pangolin, or scaly anti-ter.

Q: Why did the ursine keepers stop playing music and tell their charges to sit?
A: They were playing musical bears.

Q: What do you do when your ursine expires?
A: Bear-y it.

Q: What's huge and grey and disfigured, and stalks classical music fans?
A: The Elephantom of the Opera.

Q: Where should you walk your cows?
A: Down the Bull-evard.

Q: Why did the dairy farm smell?
A: They got a new Jersey.

Q: What's the most dishonest procyonid?
A: The talltail.

This week in History

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

The "Eventlist" Crystal Ball

Each week @Action News will print the "Eventlist" notices here. This list will be accurate as of press time, but be sure and check it during the week. Activities and events can be proposed, rescheduled or event cancelled for all sorts of reasons. So stay "in the know" by checking Eventlist often.

To get a list with details as shown here, enter eventlist #week #long.

SpinDizzy Event List

The following events are scheduled within the next 7 days:

+Title: Press Conference: Attack of the Tauren Empire, Part One
+From: Sun 09/17/06 07:00 PM +To: Sun 09/17/06 08:30 PM
+Location: Morticon University (aka "Spindizzy Center of Arts and Science," luge s2 w1)
+Age: all
+Event Owner: The_Antiraccoon
+RSVPs (2): Andros Morticon
The Antiraccoon and Andros have been preparing SOMETHING for months... perhaps you have even heard The Antiraccoon mention "The Plan," but then clam up without revealing any further details. Well, the time for this plan's execution seems close at hand: The Antiraccoon has announced an emergency press conference for an event that will, "Change the course of SpinDizzy," as he dramatically put it. He also added, "This new course of events concerns everybody, but SED and the Neo Republic most of all. A representative from each party should participate at least, but everybody is invited." What is this plan? The Antiraccoon has been known to exaggerate (to put it politely), but does he actually have something important to say this time? This is an IC event, RSVP is appreciated but not necessary. A followup RP will take place the following week, most likely Sunday 2200.

In Step With: Leowulf

leowulfThis week, we have a chat with Leowulf local wolf-lion hybrid.

Leowulf has arrived.

Ba'ar growls, "Hello leowulf and thanks for helping me out with the interview."

Leowulf looks around, "Nice place, and your quite welcome.

Ba'ar nods, "Thank you."

Leowulf takes a seat, "So, what would you like to know?

Ba'ar growls, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Leowulf says, "Lets, see, its been a little over 3 years now, I arrived in the summer of '03"

Ba'ar growls, "What brought you to Spindizzy? Any special reason or motivation?"

Leowulf says, "Well, it was actually Butterfluff that invited me to come see SpinDizzy, a place he was quite happy with and wanted to share. I've sense grown to like it better than some of the other places I've been, so I stuck around."

Ba'ar nods, "There's a sense of community here that few other places have isn't there?"

Leowulf says, "Yeah, its the community, the friendly people, the whole environment is different."

Ba'ar nods, "Everyone's easy going and relaxed here. Easy to make friends here, I know."

Ba'ar growls, "What's a typical day like for you - or is there one?"

Leowulf says, "Oh there isn't one really, I suppose it depends on my mood that day. Sometimes I'll just laze around in the Rose Garden all day. Other times I'll go off and see if there's anything new to discover. I have yet to explore the ocean actually."

Ba'ar nods, "Do you have a favorite place to hang out?"

Leowulf says, "Mainly where there's people to talk to, so I'd have to say the Rose Garden."

Ba'ar growls, "I see. If there was one thing you could change about Spindizzy, what would it be?"

Leowulf says, "Gosh, one thing to change...yeah, more of my furiends from elsewhere also were here."

Ba'ar nods

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most?"

Leowulf says, "That would have to be the wizstaff, who manage to have full time jobs, and do muck jobs, and still find the time to come and be social. My hat would be off to them, if I wore one. I'd never be able to pull off what they do."

Ba'ar nods, "So who do you admire the least?"

Leowulf says, "Gee, I don't know about that one, admire the 'least'. That's a heck of a finger point your asking. OK, anyone who comes here their first time and doesn't think this is a great place to make friends, and a home."

Ba'ar nods, "Do you have any plans for the future?"

Leowulf says, "I'm always trying to make plans, don't know if I'll ever get around to most of them. But I'd like to try and finish at least one of the projects I've started here. Maybe finally do some area building. Beyond that, just to be known as one of the friendly helpful residents around here."

Ba'ar growls, "Is there a secret fact or desire about you that would surprise our readers?"

Leowulf says, "Not really....well, maybe, I wish I knew more folks around here better, does that count?"

Ba'ar grins, "That'll do. One more question before we go...do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Leowulf grins, Never forget to look UP, nobody EVER looks UP.

Ba'ar looks up. "Why? I see nothing." He growls with a grin. "With that in mind, that concludes our interview. Again Leo, thanks."

Leowulf says, "And again, welcome, actually been looking forward to that."

Leowulf stands, going over to Ba'ar he shakes his paw, "I mean, I've only been here a whole 3 years, anniversary was last month.

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
What does a candidate mean when he says 'I approve this message'?
- Nixon

Dear Nixon:
He's saying that he's lying through his teeth! !

Dear Bearing Up:
I just got a computer with a 4 ghz CPU, 1 GB onboard memory, 100 GB hard drive DVD/CD Combo Drive, and an All in One Printer/Scanner Copier. Beat that!
- Geek

Dear Geek:
My Commodore 64 computer will blow that away handily !

Dear Bearing Up:
What's better, HSN or QVC?
- Sales

Dear Sales:
Neither, AMAZON.COM!

Dear Bearing Up:
I've heard that you get in Argon's hair..what gives?
- Centaur

Dear Centaur:
The only way I get into his hair is when I give him a nice backrub!

Weekly Survey

Ba'arHere's the Spindizzy @Action News Survey for this week...You've no doubt heard Argon talking about "The Centaur Way Of Life", the thoughts and philosophies that centaurs commonly share....What is YOUR creature's (Jellicle Cat, Bear or whatever) 'way of life' philosophy?

  • Gilead says, "The Otter philosophy is, "Go Fish."
  • PatchO'Black churrs, "Jellicle cats believe in grace in all things."
  • The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "It might sound a bit cliche, but "Live every day like it's your last.""
  • Lou considers do unto others before they do unto you, so they know where they stand.
  • PatchO'Black churrs, "You mean....scream and run around in a panic, Anti?"
  • Leowulf says, "You may be better at something than somefur else, but everyone has something that they can teach 'you'."

The Doze Garden

The recent spinach e coli outbreak has disasterous consequences for Popeye.

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Ba'ar, Findra, or Skyler about it.

@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News