@ Action News

Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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Changes to Spindizzy

The Spindizzy News domain was successfully transitioned to the new server a few weeks ago . Argon, local centaur, was not able to pay for the service so Findra, local rabbit, 'stepped up to the plate' as it were and assumed control. "Why not?" Morticon, local wizard and jackanapes wallaby is quoted as saying. "It keeps things running and it won't cost her anything more."

That wasn't the only change. The SpindizzyMUCK got new software this week in the form of Fuzzball version 6. This was done "For improved functionality (new abilities in MUF and MPI), some bugfixes, better security, integrated SSL support, color, and our current server version is nearly 10 years old and could use an update." Morticon, local wizard and jackanapes wallaby is quoted as saying, adding that "The other reason is that many of the larger mucks use it, and we felt it might be good to keep up with them."

Changes can be difficult, but things seemed to progress very smoothly and the community was not inconvenienced in the least. "There was a server and software change?" Cora, local she-bear is quoted as saying." "I didn't know about this." Others were equally flummoxed. "The server and sofware were changed?" asked Kanganstein, local undead kangaroo, "When was it done?" The paper extends its hope that the server and software will continue running smoothly for months (if not years) to come.

Cutness Contest Winners

A few weeks ago, Scribbles, local bunny held a contest to see who was the cutest one in all of Spindizzy. Surprisingly there were ties in two out of three categories.

FIRST PLACE (Cutest Of The Cute)

  • Skyler, local bunny
  • Leslie, local bunny
  • Cora, local she-bear
SECOND PLACE (Undoubtedly Cute)

  • Morticon, local wallaby
  • Christie, local bunny
  • Vixie, local vixen
THIRD PLACE (Really Cute)

  • Than, local fox

Surprisingly Vixie, local vixen and allegedly cutest of them all, only garnered a second place award. Spindizzy locals were flummoxed at this. "Well, she is rather adorable." said Cora, local she-bear and first place winner. "I'm not really sure why she didn't get a first place award." Vixie herself was rather philosophical about this. It was past my bedtime, and I was tired. Nobody is at the peak of cuteness when tired." she is quoted as saying. With this in mind, perhaps next time can present Vixie with a better opportunity to show us how cute she really is.

Coati Changes Jellicle Cat Into Jellicle Dragon (Twice).

Austin, local coati, has taken to changing Patch O'Black from his usual Jellicle cat form to his rarely seen Jellicle dragon form. While giving no particular reason for this action, he gave an unparticular reason that folks weren't that particular.

Patch O'Black, at first at a loss as to what to do as a dragon, was informed that he needed to have a horde of something to sit upon. As he was still a feline at heart, it was decided that warm clean laundry would be perfect. He quickly fetched a large amount an perched upon it, attempting to look stately and with an aura of ancient power on associates with a dragon.

Patchy eventually changed back, but the next Saturday Austin had once again changed him into a dragon. Rumors that this is because of a shortage of dragons have yet to be confirmed at this time. By becoming a dragon however, this heavily reduces the number of Jellicle cats below their already low levels.

Gilead's Pun-ishment

Q: What has 100 legs and a big puddle?
A: A Centaur peed.

Q: What has red fur, blue overalls, and a big puddle?
A: A Millie peed.

Q: Why did the anteater spit out the locust?
A: It just didn't taste quite cricket.

Q: How do scaly mammals know when to eat?
A: By the hunger pangolins.

Q: What do you call a drying procyonid?
A: A Wringtail.

Q: Who ruled ancient Egypt's weasel population?
A: The Pharoet.

Q: WHo led the Kosher cows out of Egypt?
A: Moooooses.

Q: What eats bamboo and rides a skateboard?
A: A Rad Panda.

Q: What's the cheapest way to get a pig drunk?
A: Swine coolers.

Q: What do you call it when you accidentally inhale droplets of Japanese mouse urine and suddenly begin looking at anime porn?
A: Hentai virus.

Q: What do you get when you cross a really big whale with a really small whale?
A: A Bluega.

Q: What did the Jewish fieldmouse do when his male babies were born?
A: Called the Mohel and had a Bris-by.

Q: Why did the frog sit staring at the TV?
A: The program was truly ribbetting.

Q: What do you call little Siamese bird twins?
A: Pairakeets.
.A: .......Or a Cockatwo.

Q: Why did the flyer shop so much?
A: Money always ate a hole in her pocket.

In Step With: Desert

DesertThis week, we have a chat with Desert, local donkey.

Desert has arrived.

Ba'ar smiles, "Welcome Desert and thanks for helping me out with my column."

Desert says softly, "You're welcome, Mr. Bear."

Ba'ar growls, "I understand you just arrived in Spindizzy today. Is this true?"

Desert nods. "Mmhmm."

Ba'ar growls, "I see, Welcome then. I hope you like it here."

Desert says softly, "Oh, I do!"

Ba'ar growls, "What brought you here (other than your four legs of course)?"

Desert says softly, "Well, this big portal thinggy did. It was all glowy and stuff and then it ganked me and poofed me here."

Ba'ar cocks his head, "Big portal?"

Ba'ar growls, "Explain please."

Desert says softly, "Well, it was most likely a quantum flux between two conflicting parts that collapsed space time around it and created a temporary worm hole between this reality and mine."

Ba'ar nods, "Did you stumble on it by accident or did it appear and you volunteer to go to find out what was on the other side?"

Desert says softly, "It was by accident. I was working in my lab experimenting with a tachyon partical generator I created. The thing exploded in my face and I wound up in this world in this form."

Ba'ar growls, "You weren't always a Donkey?"

Desert says softly, "No sir. I was human."

Ba'ar nods, "Have you found it difficult to adjust to your new form?"

Desert looks at herself and then back up. She brays a little and nods. "Well, I've been like this for a day or two. I can say not quite. This is quite different than what I grew up with.

Ba'ar nods, "So other than your form, what's different?"

Ba'ar growls, "Nutrition, thought processes and the like?"

Desert says softly, "Thought processes are the same, but I've come to the conclusion that I can't really eat meat."

Ba'ar growls, "How has becoming a donkey changed your perspective?"

Desert says softly, "Well, this whole predicament has exhanged my perspectice. For one, it's odd having these kind of hands and, er..hooves. Oh, and just the whole body itself. I feel out of place."

Ba'ar smiles "I'm sure you'll get used to it soon."

Ba'ar growls, "What's a typical day like for you so far-or is there one?"

Desert says softly, "There really isn't one. My usual day two days ago included getting up, getting ready for the day, going to work, working, clocking out, coming home, eating, some personal time, and then bed."

Ba'ar nods, "So far, if there was one thing you could change about Spindizzy, what would it be?"

Desert says softly, "I'd, er..make portals back to people's original worlds."

Ba'ar nods, "So who do you admire the most?"

Desert scratches her head, "Well, I admire my folks at home."

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the least?"

Desert says softly, "The least? Bah, my boss.."

Ba'ar grins. "So other than trying to find a portal back to your home, do you have any plans for the future?"

Desert says softly, "Well, I'll have to burn that bridge when I get to it, so not really. Maybe changing back into a human."

Ba'ar growls, "Is there a secret fact or desire that would surprise our readers?"

Desert says softly, "I don't think so.."

Ba'ar nods, "One more question before we go. Do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Desert says softly, "Hrm..well, don't do school and stay in drugs, kids. Er, wait, no.. Knowledge is power and power corrupts. So stay in school to study hard and be evil."

Ba'ar nods. "With that in mind, that concludes our interview. Again, Desert, thanks!"

Desert says softly, "You're welcome, Ba'ar."

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
Who's going to win the 'Cuteness Contest'?
- Scribbles

Dear Scribbles:
Vixie, even though she won't be participating!

Dear Bearing Up:
What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done on Spindizzy?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
If I told you, I'd have to kill you!

Dear Bearing Up:
What's better? Carnation or Dryers?
- Wonka

Dear Wonka:
Neither! Haagen-Das!

Dear Bearing Up:
How do you deal with obnoxious salespeople?
- Popiel

Dear Popiel:
Simple! Sell them on the idea that you're not interested in whatever they have to sell!

Dear Bearing Up:
How do you know that clowns can't hurt you?
- Perrot

Dear Perrot:
Don't be a BOZO, clowns are sweet and innocent. They wouldn't hurt a fly!

Weekly Survey

Ba'arGreetings all, Ba'ar here with the Spindizzy @Action news survey for this week. Those of us who have been here for a while know that used to have 'themed weekends', (Young At Heart, Retro, and so forth). If you were given the chance to do a 'themed weekend'. What would you like your theme to be?"

  • Scribbles says "I have no clue."
  • Argon says, "Newspaper reporter days. Send stories to the paper like you're JImmy Olson or Clark Kent. "
  • Alfie says, "My idea for a themed weekened is: Dress Up Like a Superhero Weekend!"
  • Than says cutely, "A theme with... plushies an' kangaroos with pouches!!!"
  • The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Any theme where stuff blows up is fine by me.
  • Ba'ar growls, "I'd do a 'forest theme'. The bears of SD would love it!
  • Cora growls, "I'd have a circus themed Rose Garden."

Caption Photo


Caption Photo
  • What? You mean this isn't the Star Trek convention? - Ba'ar
  • It's not a person! A horse! - Scribbles
  • The Cowardly Lion meets Hans Solo - Argon
  • Dude, the back of your pants is ripped and I can see... That's so *nasty!* - Gilead
  • Damn, I've been chasing the wrong kind of tail. Mrowr! - Alfie
  • I do believe in Romulans. I do, I do, I do! - Gina Doberman

This week in History

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

The Doze Garden Classic

Doze Garden Cartoon

Doze Garden Cartoon 188 - Argon

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, or Ba'ar about it.

@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News

Thanks! Ba'ar, Associate Editor @Action News