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Argon -- Editor

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Bandwidth Aid - Frequen Safe

New inhabitant to Spindizzy, Tzolkin, a cybernetic mousecat is now seemingly cured of the strange malady that affected him shortly after his arrival.

The mousecat was suffering from a deterioration of both his mental and physical prowess. This caused him to be weak much of the time he was out, and prevented him from speaking naturally. Tzolkin was relying on the use of the Jellicle Ball in order to recover daily, and a vodor in order to communicate. Tzolkin's symptoms were identified similar to radiation poisoning, though actually caused by an extremely low frequency emission interfering with his cybernetics.

Zach, a human who had recently grown mouse ears, became aware of the ELF transmission while taking Tzolkin home. Once they found the antenna producing the ELF, they tried to disable the antennae themselves. The emission affected them both them negatively and almost resulted in Tzolkin's death. The two decided they would need to get the help of others in order to disable the antennae. Many folks were happy to help out in supportive roles, but Roofus_Roo and Beltrami came to the call of taking on the antennae.

Tzolkin was left behind at the Rose Garden to avoid further endangerment to his health while Beltrami, Roofus and Zach headed off to the location. When they arrived Zach started getting affected by the frequency and made a decision to stay behind in case he or the others might get injured. Roofus and Beltrami decided to explore and shortly after found the entrance in. The passage led downward to a research type room. Once inside the two spotted a book, a phone and a control panel. The control panel seemed rather complicated to use. Beltrami used the operator bit in Roofus to help discover the working of the panel within minutes. The two than disabled the antenna and headed back out to check on Zach. Zach confirmed that he was feeling better and felt that the emission from the antenna was disabled.

The three of them than left and returned to the Rose Garden, only to find Tzolkin in terrible pain and grievously wounded. Daystar was asked if he could help by getting the Jellicle ball stored at Tzolkin's cavern. When Daystar came back with the globe Tzolkin's condition finally began to stabilize. Zach, familiar with previous incidents of when his friend was seriously ill, activated Tzolkin's key. Once activated the key took on the shape of a sharp injector type needle. Once the needle-key was injected it restored Tzolkin's vitals. Zach suggested they should follow up with Felina to make sure Tzolkin was actually okay. Tzolkin was simply grateful to be back and finally feeling better, and was in good spirits by the end of the day.

Editor's note: The title of this article, "Bandwidth Aid - Frequen Safe", is a phonetic play upon the term, "freakin', playing off the low frequency so the reported transmissions.

Just what is "it"?

Morticon, local wallaby and alledged leader of the Society of Evil Doers (SED) was confronted by the crowd at the Rose Garden this week. Having been accused by Slug, local skunk kit, of branding and performing surgery on him, folks' usual suspicion of the wallaby had reached high levels.

Zach, local human pre-teen, and friend of Slug, was particullarly upset by Morticon's actions, and confronted the wallaby as follows:

Morticon bounces off a rogue sputnik and into the Rose Garden.
Morticon has arrived.
Morticon binds up and drags the sleepers away to his laboratory for experimentation! Zach glares at Morticon.
Argon says, "Hi Morti."
Shady_Raccoony glares at Morticon, mimicing Zach.
Shady_Raccoony can only hold it for a few seconds before laughing.
Argon raises an eyebrow.
Morticon smirks. "Yes, it is I. ANd hello Zachary!"
Morticon grins.
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "Anyobody who grins can't be evil, tou know."
Zach grrrs at Morticon, "Hello Morticon."
Felina explores in the Ancient Oak and digs out a bottle of syrup.
Felina throws the syrup on Moricon.
Morticon ducks, and the syrup goes for Zach!
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "Do wallabies go good with syrup?"
Shady_Raccoony can't resist. He erupts in a fit of laughter.
Morticon says, "Shady is clearly delerious."
Zach gets up.
Shady_Raccoony grrrs.
Morticon says, "No, because of all the laughing!"
Argon hopes it hit the pancake tree.
Zach goes over to the fountain to clean up the syrup. Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "No. Like all nice raccoons, I love to laugh."
Shady_Raccoony looks over at Zach, "Need any help, friend?"
Morticon glares all around, to complete the picture.
You say, "Linky? o.O" Shady_Raccoony walks over to the fountain, and attempts to help Zach get all that syrup off.
Zach looks at Shady, "Uh no."
Argon says, "So what ever became of taking Morti to court over the Slug incident?"
Morticon says, "Nothing to do about that."
Argon keeps an eye on Morticon.
Morticon says, "I clearly could not help myself after his previous wrongdoings. Vigilante justice, which is frequently done to me."
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "But no hard feelings? Hey, you should have seen me the time I accidentally turned myself purple."
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "That's much more embarassing."
Argon says (To Morticon), "Well, you still have your tail, and other body parts you value, and you haven't been intentionally scarred."
Zach hackles raises.
Morticon says, "But entertaining."
Morticon says, "Ehh, Slug won't miss that gland."
Zach grabs something to crush.
Argon says, "And if you'd do that to Slug, who knows what you might do to the rest of us." Morticon says, "Crush that aluminum can!"
Sunshine does!
Morticon says, "Yup, who knows!" to Argon.
Shady_Raccoony shakes his head.
Morticon says, "Best leave me be."
Morticon grins!
Argon looks around, "What do you all think we should do?"
Morticon says, "Nothing. Sit back, enjoy your time."
Zach says under his breath, "Oh Morticon, no way I have plans for you."
Sunshine hrms, plucking her bowstring. "So Morty.... Any thwartable nefariousness you might have engaged in lately?"
Morticon says, "If there was, you weren't there to witness it. :)" Argon says, "So what? You just admitted it. There's apparently no question you did it."
Morticon says, "Did WHAT?"
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "It."
Zach grits his teeth, coughing some.
Sunshine says, "Oh, but I can always count on your mountainous ego to fill me in on the details!"
Morticon says, "I probably did 'it'."
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "Everybody does it."
Argon says, "I quote, "I clearly could not help myself after his previous wrongdoings. Vigilante justice, which is frequently done to me."
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "Give in to the peer pressure!"
Ping giggles, and sings... o/~ Birds, do it! Bees, do it! Let's do it, let's fall in love... o/~
Morticon says, "So what? I've had kits several times already. My heritage will live on."
Zach turns to Morticon and huffs, "You deserve what you get Morticon, if you were nice you wouldn't need to be vigilant."
Morticon says, "Zach, no need to threaten. I get all that I want."
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "Except 'it'."
Morticon says, "I get 'it'!"
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "No, you don't get 'it'."
Zach comments, "I am not threaten(ing), I am talking your future."
Morticon says, "How is that possible? I get all. Even 'it'."
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "I"In that case, what is 'it'?"
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "If you had 'it', you would know."
Zach looks a bit relaxed though sweating some.
Portia hopes she doesn't get it. Sounds like a disease.
Morticon says, "Well, can I see 'it'?"
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "No."
Sunshine rents 'It' for Morticon.
Morticon says, "Does everyone have 'it'?"
Shady_Raccoony noooooos!
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "I have 'it'. I'm not so sure about everybody else."
Zach goes back over to relax by Logan.
Morticon waves at Portia, who gets 'it'.
Shady_Raccoony trades 'it' for a widget.
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "Now you will never get 'it'!"
Argon says, "So, you going to 'bring him to justice", Zach?"
Morticon says, "I'll get my ninjas over!"
Zach coughs, "Eventually, yes."
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "Who do you think I traded 'it' too?"
Morticon says, "They'll teach you 'it'."
Morticon says, "Oh no!"
Sunshine says, "Not your Ninjas!"
Portia wishes she could be as quiet as a ninja.
Morticon says, "yeah, the ninjas who helped beat you up that time!"
Shady_Raccoony notes that Morticon's ninja are about as quiet as a freight train.
Argon wishes he could move as quietly as a red panda.
Morticon says, "A frieght train with 'it'!"
Shady_Raccoony gruffs, "They have 'it' now."
Morticon whines and slinks off... he lost 'it'!

And with that, Morticon made his escape.

Sunshine's Cartoon

Sunshine, local porcupine archer, shared a nice flash animation she did. The friendly porcupine noted, "I hadta do (it)for a class. My first Flash cartoon!"

It's very cute, and family and work friendly, so enjoy!

In step with: Mouser


Hi there. Ba'ar here. Welcome to the latest in a series of articles about the members of your Spindizzy Community. This week we turn our attention to Mouser, local Fursnake and Care Bear Predator.

Mouser hisses, "Heyas..."

Ba'ar growls, "Hey Mouser. "

Ba'ar growls, "Thanks for coming for the interview."

Mouser hisses, "No prob...been a while since I was in the paper."

Ba'ar smiles "Nods....Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?

Mouser hisses, "I'm one of the original members, actually...that is, I was part of the original 'Toons Fur & Fluff' MUCK cast before there was a Spindizzy."

Ba'ar growls, "I understand you come from the future. How did you travel back in time?"

Mouser hisses, "I have no idea, actually. I sort of just 'found myself' here. Apparently I got sent back in time by something or someone, but who or what's a mystery. I do know that part of my world got sent back with me...if you go a ways south of the Rose Garden you'll run into it."

Ba'ar growls, "A chunk of Spindizzy is actually part of the territory you knew in the future?"

Mouser nods. "It's a small river valley. There's a herd of rabbuck and a few other critters from my era wandering around in it. Rather homey, actually...

Ba'ar growls, "IF you don't mind me asking....What's it like in the future world you come from? "

Mouser hisses, "Pretty much the same as it is here. The grass grows, the little critters eat it, the bigger critters eat the little ones, and so on. There's no 'civilization', if that's what you mean..."

Ba'ar nods "Now then...back to the present....I understand you're a local 'Care Bear Predator'. How is this beneficial?"

Mouser hisses, "Well...SOMEONE has to keep them in check. Otherwise, we'd be up to our eyebrows in them..."

Ba'ar growls, "So you say without your efforts, this place would be too cute and too sweet?" Mouser hisses, "Nature finds a way of maintaining a balance."

Ba'ar nods "And you provide that balance. I see. Now then. I also understand you're with the SED. A few questions about that. First, how is it working with Morticon, your leader? "

Mouser hisses, "Pretty good, actually. My paycheck's semi-regular and I get my pick of his leftover experimental animals for lunch. Of course, there are times when he wants to 'volunteer' me for things like brain-transplant experiments, so it's not all beer and skittles..."

Ba'ar growls, "So working with him on the all is a great experience?"

Mouser hisses, "Overall, yes." (looks over behind himself to see if anyone's watching)

Ba'ar growls, "Anything wrong? Don't worry. My apartment isn't bugged. "

Mouser hisses, "Oh, nothing. Umm, where were we?"

Ba'ar growls, "Readers everywhere understand that the SED wants to take over Spindizzy. In what way do you think that would be beneficial? "

Mouser hisses, "I don't know if it'd be beneficial. But it would be fun. And like I said, it's a steady job."

Ba'ar growls, "How would it be fun...other than providing a bigger paycheck and a bigger say in things?"

Mouser hisses, "Well...it's the 'getting' more than the 'having' that's the fun part. I honestly don't know what Morti wants to do with Spindizzy once he takes over. But that's why I'm not the boss..."

Ba'ar nods "What are your hobbies?"

Mouser hisses, "Lunch, obviously. I like poking around my tunnel network, finding new exits to various places in Spindizzy. And keeping my evil twin Sock-Mouser in check. I finally convinced him to hang out in the Puppeteer's Guild spaces; I don't mind if he pretends to be me there."

Ba'ar growls, "If you were made Spindizzy's king, what changes would you make?"

Mouser hisses, "Heh. Like I knew. I've no idea, really. I've got a warm, dry hole to sleep in here and all the food I can chase...there really isn't anything I can think of worth changing."

Ba'ar smiles "A simple fur with simple needs. Yes. I'm the same way. Now then."

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most - other than Morticon that is..?"

Mouser hisses, "Well...I'm impressed with Patch O'Black's building skills. And there are several 'level heads' about here that Spindizzy couldn't do without, like Austin, Argon, and Ping. And Gilead, for his rather warped sense of humor..."

Mouser hisses, "I suppose that comes from being a fellow mustelid."

Ba'ar nods "Do you have any plans for the future - Since you ARE from the future I must preface this with...'no pun intended'"

Mouser hisses, "It would be nice to get back some day. Luckily furpents aren't social animals, so I don't have a herd or a pack to miss. Still, it sometimes gets a little lonely being the only one of your species about."

Ba'ar growls, "Have you spoken to Morticon about perhaps building you a time machine so you can go back to your normal time?"

Mouser hisses, "Good luck with that. You have any idea how much of my pay he'd garnish to fund it?"

Ba'ar considers. "Good point. Now then...What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Mouser ponders. "I have no idea what goes for 'suprising' around here.

Ba'ar roars with laughter "Come to think of it, you're right. The old saying is true...'Anything can happen here...and usually does'"

Ba'ar wipes his eyes as he tries to catch his breath.. "Oh dear."

Ba'ar growls, "One more question before we go....In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?""

Mouser hisses, "Life is short. Eat dessert first."

Ba'ar nods "That concludes our interview. "

Mouser hisses, "Thanks."

Ba'ar growls, "Thanks for consenting to it. I..and our readers...really do appreciate it."

Gilead's Cat-aclysmic Puns (in honor of Patchy)

Q: Why didn't the feline sherrif stop at the county border? A: He was in hot purr-suit.

Q: How many cats smell good?
A: Nearly one-hundred purr-scent.

Q: What do you call it when you rearrange a group of cats?
A: A purr-mutation.

Q: What do you get on you if a cat sneezes while nuzzling you?
A: Mew-cus.

Q: Is a silent cat mew-t?

Q: How do you pay for a cat?
A: Wait at the end of the fee line, until it's your turn.

Q: Why did the cat-like viverridae keep getting sent to jail? A: They kept waving their genet tails around in public.

Q: How fast can a cat run?
A: About 25 miles purr hour.

Q: Why did the Marvel comics cat become a superhero?
A: He developed Mew-tant X-powers.

Q: Why did the cat have a weight problem?
A: His owner just loved to stuff his puss at mealtimes.

Q: What happens when a feline hits a sunbeam?
A: It gets catatonic.

Zach's Quoted Quote Question

Can you guess where the quote was said, who whinnied it and as a bonus the missing word. See the bottom of the paper for the answer.

"I'm apparently a __________ item."

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
Now that school is out for the summer, what should I do with my extra time?
- B. Blutarsky.

Dear B. Blutarsky:
Party like the Dickens until school lets back in!

Dear Bearing Up,
Which makes the better pet; bears or lions?
- Lefty

Dear Lefty:
Neither. Teddy Bears. Just as soft and cuddly as bears or lions...but also no costs of upkeep or messes to clean up!

Dear Bearing Up,
I have every episode of Welcome Back Kotter recorded on Betamax tapes. But my Betamax machine has broken and I can't find a replacemement or repair. Can you help?
- Sonny

Dear Sonny:
Ask Barbarino if you could use his.

Dear Bearing Up,
Just a note to say jokes about gelding aren't all that funny.
- Argon

Dear Argon:
Sorry about that. I was suffering from 'HOOF IN MOUTH' disease.

Dear Bearing Up,
Which is better, Coke or Pepsi?
- Sam

Dear Sam:

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week, suggested by Morti is, 'What is your favorite fruit?'

  • Darius says, "I guess I like Pinapple."
  • Tottle says, "Applesauce."
  • Marissa purrs, "Hmm..Strawberries!"
  • Crystal says, "Would have to say oranges."
  • Aleu mrrs, "Favorite fruit... it's gotta be lime!"
  • Nogitsune would have to vote for Kiwi.
  • Marissa purrs, "I also like mangos. "
  • Darius says, "but really, my favorite would have to be Pineapple. Im not very into fruits"
  • Shady_Raccoony pages, "Kiwi kiwi kiwi!" to you.
  • Andrew says, "Without a doubt, strawberries."
  • Zach comments, "Tomato"
  • Ba'ar growls, "My favorite fruit is an apple."
  • Jacchus brays, "Favorite Fruit? Richard Simmons...oh wait, you mean the eating kind. I'd have to say apples then."
  • Slug - Slug likes figs.
  • Brenda - Hmmm....good question. I may like apples, but they certainly can't be compared to oranges with me."
  • Casandro says, "Banana."
  • Beltrami squeezes Roofus's ankle. She takes the notepad and writes out 'AUSUBO' and shows it to Argon.

Zach's Quoted Quote Answer

Zach's Quoted Quote Answer

Wanted: Seeking New Star Wars Figures as seen on Late Night Conan O'Brien Show. All figures wanted and desired please keep in unopened package. E-mail cbg@springfield.fox.us for prices desired.

The missing word being Collector's might lead you to guess that this weeks quotable quote comes from My Little Pegasus Star-Sight and of course takes place in everyone's favorite hangout, the Rose Garden.

Congratulation to all of you that guessed right!

The Doze Garden

What the well dressed centaur will be wearing this season.

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News