May 15, 2005
Volume V - Issue 247
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.
Bandwidth Aid - Frequen Safe
New inhabitant to Spindizzy, Tzolkin, a cybernetic mousecat is now seemingly cured of the strange malady that affected him shortly after his arrival.
The mousecat was suffering from a deterioration of both his mental and physical prowess. This caused him to be weak much of the time he was out, and prevented him from speaking naturally. Tzolkin was relying on the use of the Jellicle Ball in order to recover daily, and a vodor in order to communicate. Tzolkin's symptoms were identified similar to radiation poisoning, though actually caused by an extremely low frequency emission interfering with his cybernetics.
Zach, a human who had recently grown mouse ears, became aware of the ELF transmission while taking Tzolkin home. Once they found the antenna producing the ELF, they tried to disable the antennae themselves. The emission affected them both them negatively and almost resulted in Tzolkin's death. The two decided they would need to get the help of others in order to disable the antennae. Many folks were happy to help out in supportive roles, but Roofus_Roo and Beltrami came to the call of taking on the antennae.
Tzolkin was left behind at the Rose Garden to avoid further endangerment to his health while Beltrami, Roofus and Zach headed off to the location. When they arrived Zach started getting affected by the frequency and made a decision to stay behind in case he or the others might get injured. Roofus and Beltrami decided to explore and shortly after found the entrance in. The passage led downward to a research type room. Once inside the two spotted a book, a phone and a control panel. The control panel seemed rather complicated to use. Beltrami used the operator bit in Roofus to help discover the working of the panel within minutes. The two than disabled the antenna and headed back out to check on Zach. Zach confirmed that he was feeling better and felt that the emission from the antenna was disabled.
The three of them than left and returned to the Rose Garden, only to find Tzolkin in terrible pain and grievously wounded. Daystar was asked if he could help by getting the Jellicle ball stored at Tzolkin's cavern. When Daystar came back with the globe Tzolkin's condition finally began to stabilize. Zach, familiar with previous incidents of when his friend was seriously ill, activated Tzolkin's key. Once activated the key took on the shape of a sharp injector type needle. Once the needle-key was injected it restored Tzolkin's vitals. Zach suggested they should follow up with Felina to make sure Tzolkin was actually okay. Tzolkin was simply grateful to be back and finally feeling better, and was in good spirits by the end of the day.
Editor's note: The title of this article, "Bandwidth Aid - Frequen Safe", is a phonetic play upon the term, "freakin', playing off the low frequency so the reported transmissions.
Just what is "it"?
Morticon, local wallaby and alledged leader of the Society of Evil Doers (SED) was confronted by the crowd at the Rose Garden this week. Having been accused by Slug, local skunk kit, of branding and performing surgery on him, folks' usual suspicion of the wallaby had reached high levels.
Zach, local human pre-teen, and friend of Slug, was particullarly upset by Morticon's actions, and confronted the wallaby as follows:
Morticon bounces off a rogue sputnik and into the Rose Garden.
And with that, Morticon made his escape.
Sunshine, local porcupine archer, shared a nice flash animation she did. The friendly porcupine noted, "I hadta do (it)for a class. My first Flash cartoon!"
It's very cute, and family and work friendly, so enjoy!
In step with: Mouser
Hi there. Ba'ar here. Welcome to the latest in a series of articles about the members of your Spindizzy Community. This week we turn our attention to Mouser, local Fursnake and Care Bear Predator.
Mouser hisses, "Heyas..."
Ba'ar growls, "Hey Mouser. "
Ba'ar growls, "Thanks for coming for the interview."
Mouser hisses, "No prob...been a while since I was in the paper."
Ba'ar smiles "Nods....Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?
Mouser hisses, "I'm one of the original members, actually...that is, I was part of the original 'Toons Fur & Fluff' MUCK cast before there was a Spindizzy."
Ba'ar growls, "I understand you come from the future. How did you travel back in time?"
Mouser hisses, "I have no idea, actually. I sort of just 'found myself' here. Apparently I got sent back in time by something or someone, but who or what's a mystery. I do know that part of my world got sent back with me...if you go a ways south of the Rose Garden you'll run into it."
Ba'ar growls, "A chunk of Spindizzy is actually part of the territory you knew in the future?"
Mouser nods. "It's a small river valley. There's a herd of rabbuck and a few other critters from my era wandering around in it. Rather homey, actually...
Ba'ar growls, "IF you don't mind me asking....What's it like in the future world you come from? "
Mouser hisses, "Pretty much the same as it is here. The grass grows, the little critters eat it, the bigger critters eat the little ones, and so on. There's no 'civilization', if that's what you mean..."
Ba'ar nods "Now then...back to the present....I understand you're a local 'Care Bear Predator'. How is this beneficial?"
Mouser hisses, "Well...SOMEONE has to keep them in check. Otherwise, we'd be up to our eyebrows in them..."
Ba'ar growls, "So you say without your efforts, this place would be too cute and too sweet?" Mouser hisses, "Nature finds a way of maintaining a balance."
Ba'ar nods "And you provide that balance. I see. Now then. I also understand you're with the SED. A few questions about that. First, how is it working with Morticon, your leader? "
Mouser hisses, "Pretty good, actually. My paycheck's semi-regular and I get my pick of his leftover experimental animals for lunch. Of course, there are times when he wants to 'volunteer' me for things like brain-transplant experiments, so it's not all beer and skittles..."
Ba'ar growls, "So working with him on the all is a great experience?"
Mouser hisses, "Overall, yes." (looks over behind himself to see if anyone's watching)
Ba'ar growls, "Anything wrong? Don't worry. My apartment isn't bugged. "
Mouser hisses, "Oh, nothing. Umm, where were we?"
Ba'ar growls, "Readers everywhere understand that the SED wants to take over Spindizzy. In what way do you think that would be beneficial? "
Mouser hisses, "I don't know if it'd be beneficial. But it would be fun. And like I said, it's a steady job."
Ba'ar growls, "How would it be fun...other than providing a bigger paycheck and a bigger say in things?"
Mouser hisses, "Well...it's the 'getting' more than the 'having' that's the fun part. I honestly don't know what Morti wants to do with Spindizzy once he takes over. But that's why I'm not the boss..."
Ba'ar nods "What are your hobbies?"
Mouser hisses, "Lunch, obviously. I like poking around my tunnel network, finding new exits to various places in Spindizzy. And keeping my evil twin Sock-Mouser in check. I finally convinced him to hang out in the Puppeteer's Guild spaces; I don't mind if he pretends to be me there."
Ba'ar growls, "If you were made Spindizzy's king, what changes would you make?"
Mouser hisses, "Heh. Like I knew. I've no idea, really. I've got a warm, dry hole to sleep in here and all the food I can chase...there really isn't anything I can think of worth changing."
Ba'ar smiles "A simple fur with simple needs. Yes. I'm the same way. Now then."
Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most - other than Morticon that is..?"
Mouser hisses, "Well...I'm impressed with Patch O'Black's building skills. And there are several 'level heads' about here that Spindizzy couldn't do without, like Austin, Argon, and Ping. And Gilead, for his rather warped sense of humor..."
Mouser hisses, "I suppose that comes from being a fellow mustelid."
Ba'ar nods "Do you have any plans for the future - Since you ARE from the future I must preface this with...'no pun intended'"
Mouser hisses, "It would be nice to get back some day. Luckily furpents aren't social animals, so I don't have a herd or a pack to miss. Still, it sometimes gets a little lonely being the only one of your species about."
Ba'ar growls, "Have you spoken to Morticon about perhaps building you a time machine so you can go back to your normal time?"
Mouser hisses, "Good luck with that. You have any idea how much of my pay he'd garnish to fund it?"
Ba'ar considers. "Good point. Now then...What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"
Mouser ponders. "I have no idea what goes for 'suprising' around here.
Ba'ar roars with laughter "Come to think of it, you're right. The old saying is true...'Anything can happen here...and usually does'"
Ba'ar wipes his eyes as he tries to catch his breath.. "Oh dear."
Ba'ar growls, "One more question before we go....In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?""
Mouser hisses, "Life is short. Eat dessert first."
Ba'ar nods "That concludes our interview. "
Mouser hisses, "Thanks."
Ba'ar growls, "Thanks for consenting to it. I..and our readers...really do appreciate it."
Gilead's Cat-aclysmic Puns (in honor of Patchy)
|Q: Why didn't the feline sherrif stop at the county border?
A: He was in hot purr-suit.
Q: How many cats smell good?
Q: What do you call it when you rearrange a group of cats?
Q: What do you get on you if a cat sneezes while nuzzling you?
Q: Is a silent cat mew-t?
Q: How do you pay for a cat?
Q: Why did the cat-like viverridae keep getting sent to jail? A: They kept waving their genet tails around in public.
Q: How fast can a cat run?
Q: Why did the Marvel comics cat become a superhero?
Q: Why did the cat have a weight problem?
Q: What happens when a feline hits a sunbeam?
Zach's Quoted Quote Question
|Can you guess where the quote was said, who whinnied
it and as a bonus the missing word. See the bottom of the paper for the answer.
"I'm apparently a __________ item."
This week in history
Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?
Newspaper Circulation Report
@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.
Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.
Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear B. Blutarsky:
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear Bearing Up,
Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to email@example.com. Thanks.
This week, Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week, suggested by Morti is, 'What is your favorite fruit?'
Zach's Quoted Quote Answer
Zach's Quoted Quote Answer
Wanted: Seeking New Star Wars Figures as seen on Late Night Conan O'Brien Show. All figures wanted and desired please keep in unopened package. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org for prices desired.
The missing word being Collector's might lead you to guess that this weeks quotable quote comes from My Little Pegasus Star-Sight and of course takes place in everyone's favorite hangout, the Rose Garden.
Congratulation to all of you that guessed right!
The Doze Garden
What the well dressed centaur will be wearing this season.
|@Action News Info||
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Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to email@example.com or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News