@ Action News

Argon -- Editor

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SpinDizzy still inundated

The flooding of SpinDizzy by Zach, at the time, local water elemental as reported in last week's edition of @Action News has left excessive water levels all over the muck.

Argon, local centaur, suspects that due to the large number of underground control rooms, engine compartments, equipment rooms and the intricate network or corridors and passages conncting them, there is just nowhere for the water to go. Being a closed balanced ecosystem, Zach's flood has nowhere to go.

The Rose Garden is now a bog, and many areas of SpinDizzy are flooded. Mouser, local furpent complains that his tunnels are flooded, and even the headquarters of the Society of Evil Doers is under water. A number of ideas of how to drain SpinDizzy have been discussed, but so far, none have been successful.

Laura reaches landmarks

Big week for one of our resident coons this week. For the first,earlier during the week, Laura discovered that she actually wasn't the original. Even before becoming a coon, she was a robot and before being a robot, she was a completely different person altogether. She was reunited with this being, the original Logan and the origin of her mind, in the lab where she was first created. He had been in suspended animation for a few months and thus all the sudden changes come as quite a shock to him, but he...sie's here now and walking around.

On another note, Sunday, Jan. 23 is Laura's birthday. As of 8:30 PM muck time, she has been on SpinDizzy for one full year. And she has also reached 1000 connects on the same day.

Editor's note: In a related note, Suri, local lemur celebrated her birthday this week also. Although refusing to reveal her age, she claimed that like anniversaries of marriage, lemurs had materials associated with each birthday. Suri claimed that she was celebrating her "zinc birthday".

Gilead Interviews Dumbo the Elephant

SpinDizzy News: Thank you so much for coming today, Dumbo. You don't mind me calling you Dumbo, do you?

Dumbo: No, not at all. I've considered it a badge of pride for years. And I'm happy to be here, Gil.

SDN: So, I suppose I'll start off with the question on everyone's mind, and get it out of the way. Where are you today, and where are you going?

D: I wish I could say my career was still going up up up, but I suppose in my older age, it's only natural I've slowed down a bit. I still have a lot of fans of all ages, and I'm grateful to all of them. Mostly I do appearances at my old employer, Disney's, parks around the world.

SDN: Yes, I remember seeing you last time I was at DisneyLand. How is the work?

D: It's steady, I'll give it that. And the travel is a big perk. Parks from Tokyo to France to both coasts of the US. I get to see a lot. Even more than my circus days, where I was limited by the lay of the rail lines. I can't say it's perfect, though. It's pretty monotonous, the same appearances, over and over. I never do grow tired of the kids, though. Making them smile makes up for the bad points.

SDN: Funny you should mention the monotony, since you tried branching out into standup a few years back. What made you go back to the old routine again?

D: Failure at the standup act, mainly. *chuckles* But seriously... Wow, I haven't said "But seriously..." in quite a while. *chuckles* I just didn't have that much material the audience could relate to, being a flying elephant and all. I mean, talk about monotony: how many times could I use the old, "Hey, I just flew in from DisneyLand, and boy are my ears tired!" gag? It was more monotonous than the closing parade each night. And then there were all the little venues that just couldn't accomodate me. Not my audience draw, but me physically. Once I was a full-grown bull elephant, not a lot of clubs had the space for me.

SDN: Well, I can see your sense of humor is still intact, if not being used for your career now. So, I'm sure most of our audience knows your story, but how about a quick recap for the few who don't?

D: Well, I had a bit of a rough childhood, being born a bit "different." The big ears and all. Not as bad as some... I mean, nobody's trunk went anywhere on me it wasn't supposed to go, if you know what I mean. So I really can't complain any more, but it seemed like hell at the time. Well, anyway, after my mother was diagnosed with some mental problems, I went into foster care with a mouse and some crows, who helped a lot with my self esteem problems. I don't blame my mom at all. Circus performers aren't paid that well even today, and back then, she was making peanuts. Literally! And the circus folk thought I was more suited to the freak show than the elephant show, which really upset my mom. Anyway, with the mouse and crows' help, I learned I could fly, and had a heck of a career while I was little. Once I grew up, though, it got tiring. My body grew faster than my wingspan. Earspan, that is. I never did lose the ability to fly, but it got to be more and more work. That's why I never did branch out into commercial aviation.

SDN: Yes, how can anyone forget Timothy Q. Mouse and the crows? Do you still keep in touch? How are they doing today?

D: Oh, of course I keep in touch! I owe my life to those guys, and I'm happy to say they're doing great. Tim's been married and divorced about a hundred times, and has several thousand kids and grandkids, but that's heaven for a mouse. He asked me to be the godfather to a whole bunch of them. I don't even remember how many. Well, that's not exactly true. I remember them all, since I'm an elephant. *chuckles* I just lost count.

SDN: And the crows?

D: Doing great too. After the civil rights movement, especially. They run a world-reknowned tool and die shop now. Once people got over the racism thing, they realized crows are one of the smartest animals on earth, and one of the few that can make tools. They're probably making more money than any of us. And investing it well, too, since crows can count!

Editor's Note: Dumbo is refering to the group of black crows who taught him to fly. Please read, This article about the crows to understand in depth, this reference by Dumbo.

SDN: Any plans for the future?

D: Well, the Disney gig is going to be part of my life for as long as I can figure. I'm making a little extra on the side, letting myself out for stud whenever I'm in musth. None of my kids can fly like I could, but I'm still hopeful. Maybe it just skips a generation, and I'll have a bunch of flying grandkids.

SDN: I'm sure everyone with a convertible dreads that day, huh?

D: *chuckles* I hadn't thought about that, but you're probably right.

SDN: Thanks again for granting this interview, Dumbo. You've been a wonderful guest.

D: You're very welcome. I hope to get another chance soon.

SDN: You're welcome any time. I'm sure kids of any generation will be happy to hear what you're up to.

Gilead's More Con-Fused Puns

Q: What do you call a fox that catches fire then rises from its own ashes?
A: A Fennex.

Q: Why did the fox addict try to put a female fox in his vein?
A: He was jonesing bad, and needed a vix.

Q: What do you call the process of making an animal dumb enough to be subservient to humans?
A: Duh-mestication.

Q: If an Amazon warrior fox wins a battle, is she vixtorious?

Q: How do two vixens share documents?
A: They send them over the fox machine. (thanks to Roofus_Roo)

Q: Where do foxes buy their lingerie?
A: Vixtoria's secret.

Q: What do you call the map boundary separating the range of arctic foxes from the range of red foxes?
A: The Mason-Vixen Line.

Q: What do you call a bunny with crab pinches in place of its paws?
A: A grabbit.

News from Duma Mountain, or, Spotty Journalism

Ray's filk.

Spindizzy's weekly Bardic Circle (Poetry/Filk gather) did not meet Friday, January 21, due to the ongoing server problem (which this reporter suspects is due to the waterlogged condition of SpinDizzy).

The next session will be Friday, January 28, from 7:00pm to 9:00pm Spindizzy time (luge S7 E4, [B]asalt [P]illars, [E]nter [P]ortal). All are welcome, either to read or just to listen. Check the eventlist for more details.

In other news:

On Wednesday, January 19, Elizabeth and Ray hosted a dinner party at Gepard Manor, in Keresztulerdo, prepared and served by Soul_Fox. In addition to Elizabeth, Ray, and Soul_Fox, also attending were: Jac, Darius, Morticon, Tami, Sunshine, Chanspot, K'purra, and Gilead. Drinks and appetizers were served in the Rose Parlor while guests arrived: Maker's Mark bourbon, white Zinfandel wine, Amaretto sours (with cherries), piping hot tempura vegetables, with pineapple chili sauce, and crab-rolls with cream cheese and cilantro.

The evening meal was served with served with plum wine, Sapporo beer, Thai tea, dry sake, served hot, iced cocoa, and other potables. On the menu at dinner were: Thai vegetable soup, fine, translucent bean thread noodles in a clear broth with mixed vegetables, garnished with chopped scallions and sprinkled with a touch of cooked garlic oil; a salad of shredded cabbage, lettuce, and carrots, with a delicate ginger-lemon dressing, and garnished with creatures sculpted of carrots, radishes, and zucchini (for example, a carrot butterfly, a radish owl, or a fanciful, long-tailed zucchini bird). This was followed by a variety of appetizers, including: Thai spring rolls, deep-fried rice paper wrappers filled with shrimp, crabmeat, and ground chicken, as well as carrots, celery, cabbage, bean thread, scallions, and cilantro, and served up with a pineapple dipping sauce; Sa-Teh skewered chicken and prime sirloin of beef marinated in curry and cream of coconut and barbecued, served with Thai Panang (peanut) sauce; Kanom Jeap, steamed dumplings stuffed with a mixture of ground chicken, pork, shrimp, water chestnut, and scallions, served with soy sauce; fried tofu, with sweet and sour sauce (with a light texture, almost like French toast); and more hot tempura vegetables, battered and deep-fried in a light oil, and served with soy sauce and a sweet and sour pineapple/chili sauce.

The main course, served up with cakes of white jasmine rice, consisted of deep dishes heaped with steamed mixed vegetables each of which, in turn, cradled a broiled lobster tail, segmented within its split shell for ease of dining, surrounded by a generous quantity of grilled tiger-shrimp. Each was served alongside several smaller dishes, each divided into several compartments containing sauces for the dishes, ranging from a brown garlic white wine sauce to red and green Thai chili pastes, as well as a special ginger sauce. Another, larger platter was served, as well, heaped with vegetarian Thai Eggplant in a mild, brown sauce, served over mixed steamed vegetables. Sashimi and a variety of sushi expanded the meal.

Dessert was Thai custard, alongside a similar portion of translucent, sticky rice. Small compartments alongside contain such garnishes as crushed peanuts, honey, and sesame seeds. Dinner was followed, initially, with a bottle of Strathclyde scotch... Eventually followed by remaining contents of the Manor's liquor cabinet.

Despite some mild (and amusing) animosities between certain of the guests, everyone present seemed to enjoy both the meal and themselves. Rather than heading home directly, certain of the guests accepted the hospitality of the Manor, remaining overnight, making use of the Guest Bedroom.

Zach's Quoted Quote Question

Can you guess where the quote was said and who said it. See the bottom of the paper for the answer...

"If this is going to work like a *hmph* hamster ball, yes. ;) Say, where are we going?"

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

Bearing Up


Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Due to my being unable to be out and about SpinDizzy for most of last week, Some features of the paper, such as "Bearing Up," will not run in this issue of @Action News. Hopefully things will return to normal by the next issue. In place of a new column, @Action News is running a classic (in my opinion.) edition of Ba'ar's sage advice from the June 13, 2004 issue of @Action News.

Dear Bearing Up,
Centaurs are given this horrible stereotype of being big, brutish beasts that have nothing on their minds but women and wine. Just as all bears don't steal picanic baskets and rummage through dumpsters, very few centaurs act in the way this web site describes. How can centaurs prevent this incorrect myth from being perpetuated?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
Simple. Show by example and do your best to educate the public via columns in the newspaper.

Dear Bearing Up,
My kit was out playing and came home with fleas! He says he got them while playing in the Jellicle Fields, but I know good and well Patch O'Black doesn't allow fleas there. What should I do?
- Concerned Mom

Dear Mom:
Spank your kit for being a liar.

Dear Bearing Up,
There is a skunk I know who never brushes his teeth. The breath from his front end is almost as bad as the smell from the back. How can I convince him to brush his teeth?
- P. Uhe

Dear P. Uhe:
Wear a clothespin around your nose when around him and encourage your friends to do likewise. He'll get the message soon enough.

Dear Bearing Up,
With summer here, everyone is asking me for 'horse back' rides. I don't mind riding folks around for a bit when I'm in the mood, but how can I say 'no' without offending my friends?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
Spread butter on your back. A few times slipping off your backside should give your friends second thoughts.

Dear Bearing Up,
Is it true that black bears are smarter than brown bears? And where do polar bears fit in the mix
- I. Q.

Dear I.Q:
No it's not true. Polar Bears are dumbest bears of all.

Dear Bearing Up,
My fiance has run off with the wedding planner. I am so sad! What to do?
-- Signed ex-bride

Dear Ex-bride:
Live alone. It's better not to have loved at all than to have loved and lost.

Dear Ba'ar:
Why is dating so complicated? Why can't I get a date?

Dear Wondering:
Dating is so complicated to make it fun and challenging for the participants. If you don't have a date, you must not have much intelligence.

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Adara doing the survey.

Adara's Super-Kwik Survey for @Action News: "What RP plot would you like to do on Spindizzy if you could?"

  • Scandal grins wickedly at Darius. "I'd kidnap Darius and hide him from everyone but
  • Lady_Ravenwolfe and Mosi. Then all the SED folks could try to find him and get him back."
  • Argon says, "Giant shinies invade and take over the minds of all the ringtailed folks."
  • Darius says, "A long drawn out, military themed rp. Like the one I had planned with Alicia. But never finished. or an interesting, drawn out science fiction themed rp."
    Argon says, "Ooo, with girls in tight revealing leather outfits with big bazzoongaz and knives and guns who are very athletic and jump and roll and end up in threatning but provacative poses?"
    Darius says, "Sure Argon."
  • Adara would like to see an RP dealing with mental manipulation and "taking over" other characters.
    Argon says, "Although I wouldn't want to be a cat. I'd rather not lick myself."
    Argon says, "...then again..."
    Argon says, "Ahem, never mind."
  • Brenda :"Something where my latex elemental powers would be useful." =*^.^*="
  • Gilead: "How about a plot where you inherit a great deal of fish, and need to find something to do with it all before it spoils? O:-)"
  • Raeth: "I would wanna do an RP of what would happen if the SED took over SpinDizzy! And maybe about what would happen if an opposing evil organization rose up and challenged the SED. Like the SPED! Society of Particularly Evil Doers!"
  • Chanspot likes all sorts of RP plots. I really like fantasy-based plots, though, but perhaps something in a desert setting would be lots of fun.
  • Argon says, "Oh, and Carl says he'd boil everyone in Old Bay seasoning and see how they like it."
  • Alfie purrs, "I've always wanted to do a space-based roleplay of some sort."
  • KevMan says, "I don't know, almost any will do."
  • PatchO'Black: A Jellicle Ball

Zach's Quoted Quote Answer

Deep Blue Sea now on video. If the sharks don't get you, what will.

OK yes an entirely different quote location which happened to be the Middle of the Lagoon. The quote was said by Skyler, wizardly cartoon bunny.

Congratulation to all of you that guessed right!

The Doze Garden

Inspired during Ray's weekly Filk, by an original work by Laura, and used here with her permission. Laura gets the real credit, though, and does wonderful work. You should nudge her sometime. - Chanspot

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News