Argon - Editor
Sees Relatively Few Screams Of Tortured Souls
Executive Raccoon Royce and head wizard Austin Dern visited
Genericon XV held this year in Troy, New York. Available
activities there ranged from peering in at three theater-style
classrooms showing anime products; to sitting the art room,
where pictures of dragons, pictures of cats, and pictures of
dragons with cats sold briskly; to grabbing as many nacho
chips and cold salsa as one could carry, washing down the
snack foods with a slightly off-clear water which signage at
the convention claimed was "fruit punch flavored."
Panels at the well-attended convention featured many of the
leading Internet cartoonists from the northeastern United
States. Among those speaking were the guy who draws the
web-published strip about a couple twenty something slacker
types who work at the campus computer help desk and end up in
zany adventures filled with pop cultural references and evil
but cute fuzzy animals and invaders from other dimensions; the
guy who draws that other web-published strip about a couple
slacker college students who work part-time as tech support
for a struggling little ISP and face evil but cute little
animals trying to take over the world with the help of zany
beings from other dimensions and extraterrestrial aliens and
plenty of pop cultural references; the guy who draws that
strip where aliens and evil fuzzy animals find they keep
getting foiled when they try to take over the world by a pair
of lazy guys just out of college who're killing time by
working in the help center for a company's computer system
that's chock-full of pop culture references; the guy who does
the one where pop culture references and the skills of their
help desk expertise help a couple graduate students fend off
evil aliens and extra dimensional zaniness and the evil
schemes of their cute and fuzzy pet; and the girl who draws
that strip about cute cat-people going myah. Pete
Abrams, of "User Friendly," dropped in briefly to
show off his daughter, and left without attending any panels.
Featured in the Dealers' Room were the books of various
comic strips, like Kevin and Kell or Ozy and Millie, that
there isn't much immediate urge to get exactly right this
minute. The video dealer provided a wide array of
fascinating and hard-to-find copies of "Song of the
South," "Mystery Science Theater 3000
Bloopers," the William Shatner episode of "Saturday
Night Live," varied "Dangermouse" cartoons, and
other things you kind of think maybe aren't quite completely
legally licensed from their original copyright holders, unless
the Disney corporation has decided to quietly begin selling
"Song of the South" in those cheap plastic clamshell
cassette holders that sit in the discount bin at Sam Goody's,
with labels printed by an old Commodore MPS printer with a
slightly misaligned print head.
But a convention isn't complete without fun and games, and
this year Genericon provided a fine array of incomprehensible
board games. Royce and Austin read carefully the
directions for a board game called "Union Pacific,"
which has something to do with trains. Or stocks.
Or misplacing colored plastic train tokens. They then
re-read the directions, aloud, several times,
before concluding that they had no idea what they were
supposed to do to set up, or what they did on any given turn.
Despite this, they did not play the game. Similarly,
efforts to understand "Cults Across America," and a
card game that supposedly let one create a narrative story,
and a few more that have been completely forgotten.
Eventually they settled into reading the questions from a
"Trivial Pursuit" game to one another.
The convention was ultimately successful, and the art show saw
more than a dozen pieces go to open auction. For one of
these pieces, the bids rapidly rose from the final pre-auction
bid of $25.00, past fifty, and up to $75.00, when the woman
who'd made the $25.00 bid cried out and ran screaming from the
room. At Austin's apartment that evening, Royce and
Austin ate and watched Mystery Science Theater 3000 videos,
and listened to a few LPs.
Eccentric Magical Being Loses Mind-
local centaur-like creature who has gotten into various tight
situations usually involving his bizarre magical nature, has
recently began to experience several lapses of amnesia and
insanity. He has
been forgetting everything from what he said minutes ago to
whether or not he remembered to feed himself.
(Magical) Animal Control ((M)AC) tells us that Arkitah
is to be considered confused and dangerous.
His magical nature and breaking mind may cause
something unpleasant to manifest.
Kulan, local kangaroo, wandered into
the Vulpnine Gardens looking for delicious plants to eat. After
nibbling on some delicious-looking plants he encountered Muse,
local squirrel, and Edward, also a squirrel. Muse informed Kulan
after nibbling on one that the plants were icky-tasting, even
though Kulan found them tasty.
Alicia, local 9-tailed vixen and owner
of the facility, arrived and wondered who was eating her hemp
while Kulan slowly began seeing the world in a different way.
Kulan reported seeing monsters and a pretty sky as he stumbled
through the paths of the gardens. He then claims a monster
attacked him and bit his rear, after which things seemed to
return to normal again.
When questioned about the event, Alicia
replied, "Most of my plants are edible and most are used in
In a statement released to the muck this Monday Royce, dean of
the raccoon community, announced he was, "Hungry."
Pressed on this point, Royce explained that he would like
something to eat, but would not specify precisely what.
He did agree that getting something would be good.
On Tuesday, Royce repeated his statement. He noted that
he had eaten breakfast, or possibly dinner, recently, but that
this did not leave him feeling full very long. A can of
tuna fish was suggested as something that could be eaten, but
Royce graciously declined, noting the probability that it
would draw attention from Boki the seagull.
By Wednesday Royce had amended his statement, explaining
that now, "Royce hungry." He hoped to get some
sleep, though he noted it was very close to dawn and so
bedtime was a long way away.
"Bored, Hungry" was Royce's opinion of his current
status on Thursday, but he attributed the boredom to this
week's episode of "Enterprise" being pretty hard to
Royce's status as of Friday was to proclaim himself
Click on picture for
|In the latest issue of Scientific SpinDizzian, Gilead, local otter scientist, announced the discovery of an unusual "missing link" fossil which he has named "Eocentaur."
"Evolutionary theory has always had a glaring omission," said the otter, "in that the origin of Centaurs was never even addressed. Although Greek mythology clearly described fully evolved, modern Centaurs several thousand years ago, early precursor forms of them remained a mystery."
The new fossil, which dates to the Eocene period of about 60 million years ago, seems to parallel the separate evolution of both the horse and human parts of the Centaurs. That is, the lower body is that of a Hyracotherium (sometimes called Eohippus, the earliest fossil horse), while the upper body is that of an Eocene prosimian (a.k.a. Lemur).
An artist's representation of the living animal accompanies the article. Gilead announced that the beat-up appearance of the reconstructed image is significant, as its general inadequacies at avoiding self-inflicted injuries were probably a major driving force in the evolution of Centaurs, as well as that of its Horse and Primate components. These theories will be presented in future publications.
asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be
published in @Action News. The question is, 'Is
Leslie the Bunny a boy or girl?'
"Is he or isn't she? Only the haredresser knows for
"I'm not sure why, but I always see Leslie as a girl
bunny, myself. I've never actually had the heart to check
possibly comment on so sensitive a matter! And she keeps a
guard over Leslie's zip. ;)
|Cye says, "I
plead the fifth..", glares at everyone else."
Leslie is female. Just a guess.
|Sunni says, "A
"I just figured that if it becomes important, Leslie
will let us know."
|Maxl says, "Does
"Never heard of him/her/it!"
|Rick says, "I
think she a girl, who ever she is?"
"Leslie the Bunny's a bunny."
|Nikon yerfs softly,
"or maybe a herm..."
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