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Portia Lee, while exploring with Morticon, got sealed in a room. Access to the room was prevented by a mechanically sealed door of immense strength. Asking for aid from local Spindizzy citizens resulted in a number of folks coming to the rescue. Included were the likes of Lou, Kefan, Gilead, Firewind and Argon.

With clues to interpret, the adventurers were able to discover a passage to one of the Spindizzy sub-worlds. In this realm it seemed minks were the major inhabitants and had suddenly disappeared. The group was able to join with Morticon at the mansion that he and POrtia had discovered. Morticon led the group to the room just outside Portia was sealed in. Portia was getting very cold and was likely to die of malnutrition if no one was able to free her. A stone with controls on its face barred the path to Portia. The controls on the stone included four buttons and a lever but no obvious directions of how to use them. Using communicators provided by Morticon, the gang decided to split up to find clues.

Searching around the mansion however resulted in no information found to operate the mechanism and free the Portia. Gilead, unfortunately, found the skeleton of an inhabitant seeming to have enjoyed their last meal. Argon noted that the library in the mansion was kept rather well for its apparent age. Gilead observed that he noticed a city across the water that could be seen from the basement.The group figured that perhaps more information could be found there.

When the group explored the city, strange ruins could be found everywhere while some buildings were still in good condition. An obvious clue was finally found in the local library. The group returned to the mansion, but by that time Morticon grew too tired to continue. He decided to leave the others to take care of the rescue. Shortly after Morticon left, Argon was able to simplify the code and discover the sequence to open the door.

When the code was broken, Portia was freed but in a near frozen state. She was taken to warm up and seen later in the week to be doing well. Questions still remain about the sub-world. Of particular interest is what was originally being held behind the door and potentially was freed in the first place. Portia has remained silent about what was found there.

Based on a discussion with some folks in the Rose Garden, I did like they did to the movie Doom. In the Doom video game, the monsters came from "heck". In the movie they came from some goofy scientific mumbo jumbo. So I took a game that involves drinking, which some of our characters (Ahem, I am a centaur after all,) don't do, and revised it. Points are added or subrtracted according to your rules. These are approximations. Your milage may vary.

Kri, local peacock mentioned adding new rules to his SpinDizzy game.

One point per "Ack!"
You have to take away your own points for a MAV?
"Might add a Cute Rule. Except players may not survive Vixie's mere presence.
"Ooo, three shots for over the top angst."
Kri adds the Angst Rule.
Take three points away from whoever's angsting, then?
Kri nods.
And two points when someone's description says bulging, D cups or "Your eyes are irrististably drawn to..."
The Blink Rule. Any time you see "(character) blinks," that's a point. It only counts if somebody emphasizes that they are blinking."
A point when someone spoofs.
One when there's an unintended typo. And they lose two if the typo changes the context of the rest of the sentence into something inappropriate."

I got to see this last night and thought it was great. Shatner uses his alleged bluster and arrogance to full effect. I suspect he over plays it to be "in character" as Kirk was, well full of bluster and arrogant.

The show uses a lot of clips and noises from the origional Star Trek to great effect. There is one sequence with a scientist talking about SETI or something and they put his picture on the viewscreen in the control room of the Enterprize, and use cuts of Scotty, Spock and Checkov reacting to it. As coments are made by the guest speakers, they are matched with reaction shots and comments from clips of the Star Trek show. One host sequence has Kirk on a rock outcropping where he battled some alien. Similar camera angles are used and it matches pretty well.

I have to say the first hour of the show was a lot better than the second. I found my self laughing really hard at the comedic take on both Shatner's Kirk and the insertion of Star Trek footage. George Takai and even Jonathan Frakes make some tongue in cheek appearances. Yes, Next Generation's influence is discussed, as is the minimal influence of Deep Space 9, Voyager, and Enterprise.

I give the show a Warp Factor 8 and hope a DVD is being offered. The show was to be rebroadcast Thursday at 8 PM Eastern and I planned to record it, but I forgot to. A nice HD DVD would be nice.

Vote for Queen of the Queen's day festival. (Enter vote from anywhere.) Your Queen will act as judge and hostess throughout the day (Real permitting). Added on 03/16/06 by Portia

1. : Findra
2. : NeverNever
3. : Portia
4. : Mavra

Vote for King of the Queen's day festival. Your King will act as judge and escort/host throughout the day (Real permitting).

1. : Morticon
2. : Argon
3. : Austin
4. : Boki

On Wednesday, March 9 of last year, my uncle, Ray, with the stalwart assistance of Commodore Leslie, launched a fleet of four paper ships from the Rose Garden, each sailing off down one of the (then extant) cement channels which ran to the horizon in each of the cardinal directions. Leslie had christened the vessels SS Butterfluff, which sailed to the west, SS Natasha, which journeyed north, SS Lucas, which traveled east, and SS Star's Pyre, which disappeared to the south.

Each was to sail out for a year or so of exploration and return. Unfortunately, the anniversary of their launch fell during the current and mysterious non-descriptness of the Rose Garden, which, without the waterways from which the intrepid voyages began, could not then greet the return of the miniature maritime explorers. My initial inquiries yielded no reports of the fleet's return, so I wandered out a bit from the Rose Garden, past the equally nondescript Beach, and discovered on Friday, March 17 of this year that SpinDizzy's beacon, the Lighthouse (N0 E2) had guided three of the four ships home to its sandy beach.

The SS Butterfluff, SS Natasha, and SS Lucas had safely returned from their adventuresome sojourns in exotic and foreign climes. The SS Butterfluff bore a small but precious cargo of starshine and music; the SS Natasha brought back wondrous treasures and letters of welcome to many far-flung trading ports, and the SS Lucas bore specimens of plants, creatures, and scientific and geographical knowledge to expand the learning of scholars in our more familiar clime. All three carried home with them warm memories of those travels, of the dreamlike places visited, of new friends found, and of trials overcome and of triumphs enjoyed.

Sadly, the SS Star's Pyre was not among the ships returned on that otherwise auspicious St. Patrick's Day. Its current whereabouts and status are unknown, a mystery to which, it is to be hoped, that time may reveal the solution.

Interested readers are encouraged to start their own expeditions to the southern reaches of SpinDizzy, in search of the missing craft. It is rather small, and folded up in the manner traditional to small, toy paper boats. It may be that it has become lost in the reaches of the Glimmersea, SpinDizzy's largest composite body of water; certainly, those expanses have not been thoroughly explored, and may contain wonders and perils as yet unrevealed.

-Soul_Fox

Kefan, local centaur, after hearing about How William, Shatner Changed the World said, "Wow. I think I preferred it back when they were the Hitler Channel..." Rown, another local centaur, chuckled and said, "It did seem like all they ever played was Hitler (stuff)."

Kefan noted, "Yeah, well, cable was different back in the early days." to which P'tarli_Drae, local dragon zebra crooned softly, "They still go on Nazi-thons every once in awhile."

Rown said, "If you left it up to the History channel you'd swear man's entire history began with Adolph Hitler" and P'tarli_Drae crooned softly, "History could've ended with him. Hitler went ape on anyone that didn't sieg heil his little psycho butt."

Gilead, local otter, then chirped, "That's why donald Duck saluted a Nazi Officer's ass." P'tarli_Drae snickered and Rown asked, "He saluted his donkey?"

Gilead chirped, "His gluteal muscles." as Argon, local centaur, said, "His hindquarters."

Rown said, "The donkey's gluteal muscles? That's stupid!" to which Argon replied, "No no, the officer's butt, Rown."

GrumpyBear, local Care Bear, eyerolled at the infinite recursion. as Rown asked, "Butt what?" Argon answered, "Butt his rear." GrumpyBear put on a set of cans as a light went on over Rown's head, "Okay! *Rown butts the officer's rear*." Argon smiled and said, "That's it, the nazi's can!" As Rown watched the officer sailing through the air.

P'tarli_Drae laughed as Rown said, "Now that was completely pointless. It was kinda fun though."

As often happens in conversations on SpinDizzy, the discussion turned to food. With the wide variety of folks and diets here, a variety of items that are considered delicious by some are discusting to others.

One evening the conversation turned to am episode of The Boondocks featuring a "sandwich" called, The Luther Burger. Grandad makes one at home for his grandsons. It consists of:

• 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts as the bun.
• 1 hamburger
• 1 slice of cheese
• 2 strips cooked bacon
• condiments as desired

Someone actually prepared one of these and it can be seen in this article about the "sandwich" and Mr. Vandros' association with it.

Of course this isn't really about anything more than a few comments about the huge amount of fat and cholesterol and MSG and just about everything that's bad for any species. But we all seem to like eating, well with some exceptions. A lot of the balloons don't eat, but for those who do, this burger is so big and sweet and yummy that even with a sign with flashing lights and getting an electric shock everytime you eat and bitem it would still be hard to resist eating one.

As of press time there have been nor reports on SpinDizzy of any adverse effects fro consuption of The Luther Burger, And as I have mispelled and have to backspace and retype nearly every word in this article, I'm going to bed. Those Luthor Burgers made you sleepy.

This week we chat with Rawr, local balloon orca.

Rawr has arrived.

Rawr says, "Whoa... Where this is?"

Ba'ar growls, "My bedroom, and also the place where I hold my interviews."

Rawr says, "Oh, I see... Looks nice."

Ba'ar smiles, "Greetings, Rawr, and thanks for helping me do the interview."

Rawr says, "Heh, no problem, Ba'ar."

Ba'ar growls, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Rawr smiles nervously, "I can't really remember how long I have been here, I think it must be a couple of months."

Ba'ar growls, "What brought you to Spindizzy?"

Rawr blushes, "Well... I was looking for something fun to do, and stumbled in here by accident. I am happy I managed to get into SpinDizzy though."

Ba'ar growls, "I understand you're currently in spirit form. How was your physical body destroyed, if I may ask?"

Rawr says, "Too much pressure... And the guy I was hanging around with didn't manage to recover all the pieces."

Ba'ar growls, "Pressure? What do you mean?"

Rawr says, "Well, I'm an inflatable creature, and, as balloons do when they get overinflated, I popped..."

Ba'ar nods, "So what are the advantages of being in spirit form as you are now?"

Rawr says, "I don't really go into a "spirit form", when my body gets destroyed, all my consciousness is stored in my nose... I am currently using an inflatable orca body, so I can actually have a physical presence."

Ba'ar growls, "Is this body a temporary form or do you have plans to have a permanent body made or grown?"

Rawr says, "I'm planning to recover my old body, or at least a replica."

Ba'ar growls, "Do you ever worry about having your inflatable body pierced by sharp objects?"

Rawr chuckles, "Mostly when Borris is around."

Ba'ar chuckles, "Have you ever had to deal with that? If so what do you do in such a case?"

Rawr says, "Oh yeah, accidents tend to happen, patches are my best friends on those cases."

Ba'ar nods, "So would it be safe to assume that the prime disadvantage of having a balloon form is that you have to be careful about where you go?"

Rawr says, "Yeah, you can never be careful enough."

Ba'ar nods, "So what are the advantages of having a balloon form?"

Rawr grins, "He he he, well. I like to float over the water. Snugs, hugs and almost everything feels better like this, the fact you can be used as furniture, when deflated you can take me everywhere in a little pocket, and lots of fun stuff."

Ba'ar nods, "So what's a typical day like for you-or is there one?"

Rawr says, "Pretty much waking up, avoid the classic dangers as spiky plants, eat something, having fun! And then go to sleep..."

Ba'ar nods, "If I'm not mistaken, you're one of the few balloon creatures we have on Spindizzy. How do you cope with this?"

Rawr smiles, "I'm fine with it. Everyone is nice, and try to make me comfortable... Most of the time, heh."

Ba'ar wiggles his eyebrows, "Or as a balloon cushie couch, you try to make EVERYONE ELSE comfortable?"

Rawr laughs, "That too!"

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most?"

Rawr says, "Uh... I have no idea... I tend to not have any preferences over who I do like. I think its better this way."

Ba'ar nods, "Do you have any plans for the future (other than of course getting your body back?"

Rawr says, "I think improving a little my small shack. Adding a kitchen would be nice."

Ba'ar nods, "So what secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Rawr grins widely, "I like being inflated, heh, but I think that should be not so much of a surprise."

Ba'ar growls, "One more question before we go. Do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Rawr thinks for a while, "Icecream and cookies solve anyone's troubles. 100% assured."

Ba'ar pats his large belly, "Works for me. With that in mind, this concludes our interview. Again Rawr, thanks."

Rawr smiles "He he he, again, no problem, it was fun to do this."

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
I think Mavra will be crowned Festival Queen. What say you?
- J. Rivers

Dear J. Rivers:
I believe that Vixie will win by a landslide,

Dear Bearing Up:
A dinner is riding on this one. I say you make all these questions up. My friend says other people send you them by mail. Settle up this for us please.
- Question

Dear Question:
Split the tab. Argon makes them all up.

Dear Bearing Up:
How do you think The TV show The Sopranos will end?
- M. Puzo

Dear M. Puzo:
The Coreleone Family will ensure that they'll be 'Sleeping with the fishes'

Dear Bearing Up:
What do you think of Ebay?
- B. id

Dear B. id:
I think it's a HUGE WASTE OF TIME!

Dear Bearing Up:
Is it true that Findra's the real Easter Bunny?
- P. Cottontail

Dear P. Cottontail:
If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Dear Bearing Up:
If horses have COLTS and human beings have KIDS, then what do centaurs (half horse have human) have?
- Chiron

Dear Chiron:
LITTLE ONES!

Hi all, Ba'ar here with the Spindizzy @Action news survey for this week. If you had a sandwich named after you, what would it have on it?

• Argon says, "The Argon, 5 pounds of hamburger tomato slices, lettuce, onions slices of American, Swiss and cheddar cheese, mayonaise mustard and catsup between two Krispy Kreem doughnuts. remarkably similar to The Luther Burger as featured on The Boondocks."
• Angel bear says, "An Angel Bear sandwich would be pink salmon and onion rings on white bread with Miracle Whip dressing."
• Gina_Doberman says, "Salami, Swiss Cheese, wheat bread!"
• Swiftheart says, "Carrots."
• Gilead chirps, "Eels!"
• Rawr says, "I think mine would have french fries, meat, tomatoes, and pretty much a lot of other stuff."
• PatchO'Black mews, "Hmmm...I'm torn between a tuna melt, corned beef, or peanut butter and bacon..."
• Kri says, "Cornbread and sunflower seeds! With creamcheese."
• DTF answers the survey DTF ponders "Hm.... ham and american cheese with soft lettuice leaves (not shredded, whole leaves), scattering of diced onions, a dash of oregano, sprinkling of sage, and a healthy coating of honey mustard served on a crunchy-ouside, soft-and-doughy-inside rosemary-and-garlic sub roll. Served with a whole garlic pickle and vinegar potato chips. Best eaten with a lighter beverage (not something heavy like a cola, dark coffee, or a fountain drink heavy on syrup)."
• Darius says, "The blood of my enemies!"
• Aleu says, "Well, it would definately have some lean meats, and smothered in ketchup... what? You expected real blood?"
• Borris Gruffs, "A five pound deep friend Seal Tenderloin, covered in onions, pickles and BBQ Sauce. Oh and Swiss Cheese. Oh and bacon, must have bacon on the sandwich."
• Royce churrs, "Actually, it would have pretty much everything on it."<>

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

• One Year Ago - / Skyler lasts nearly two days as red panda, becomes slippers again
• Three Years Ago - / SED Anniversary Dinner Fun For All

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Each week @Action News will print the "Eventlist" notices here. This list will be accurate as of press time, but be sure and check it during the week. Activities and events can be proposed, rescheduled or event cancelled for all sorts of reasons. So stay "in the know" by checking Eventlist often.

To get a list with details as shown here, enter eventlist #week #long.

The following events are scheduled within the next 7 days:

In the tradition of Queen's day festivals, there will a rose competition to see who grows the best rose. In order to compete, simply create your rose and describe it to your liking. Submit all roses to me and make sure you set them @chownable with the following command @set rose=C (With rose replaced with the name of your rose.-Ed)

Each rose will be able to be judged by festival attendees throughout the day. For any other questions, please contact me and thank you for participating in advance.

Portia Lee

Why there is no Taur-zan part 2

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, or Ba'ar about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News

Thanks! Ba'ar, Associate Editor @Action News