@Action News, August 27,2K

SED Takes Over Paper - Has Readers Laughing At It's Incompetence

Last Saturday, as the August 19th edition of @Action News prepared to go to press, Morticon, local evil Wallaby, and alleged leader of the SED attacked Argon as he was taking the plates and disks to the press room to print the week's paper. In a moment's inattentiveness, Morticon had stolen all copies of last week's paper and barricaded himself in the press room. After publishing his 'paper' he maliciously damaged the presses

Morticon's 'tract' contained nothing but lies about how 'great' the SED was, and the advantages of being Evil. A number of subliminal messages in the text jabbed at members of the SpinDizzy community, encouraged readers to join the SED, and unsuccessfully tried to convince readers that Wallabies were intelligent. Some even hinted that Argon, local Centaur was a Horse! Readers who received copies of Morticon's rag at first thought is was a joke, but as it wasn't April Fool's Day, found themselves laughing anyway at the far from subtle attempt to spread the SED message through out the community.

Morticon's ineptitude at operating the presses was captured on surveillance video when, after getting his tail caught in the paper web, it was pulled into the press. After he sneaked out of the pressroom, and the barricades were broken down, Wallaby paw and footprints in ink were found covering the equipment, and the presses had been damaged significantly.

Repairs and clean up are hoped to be completed by August 27th, for the production of this issue.

Royce Announces Plans For Picnic Area

Royce, local Raccoon, has announced plans for a new picnic are on SpinDizzy. Royce stated that the area will be 'furry friendly' with tables, bar b que grills and fire pits, a waterfall and stream (with hot and cold springs) and lots of trash cans.

The work is progressing slowly but carefully, with the builder taking a number of breaks for snacks and naps, as required by the Raccoon Union rules. Already, the rule book is being stretched to allow Royce, in opposition to Raccoon moirés, to do any work at all. Updates and further information will be shared as they are received.

Tamiki Named In Rich Aunt's Will

Tamiki, local Jellicle Cat, has been named heiress to a large sum of money from her Great Aunt Maudi Lawn. Ms Lawn, well known philanthropist, made her fortune through grounds servicing for golf courses across the muck. Her death came after a long and active life.

Tamiki has been named in Ms. Lawn's will as a beneficiary of 150,000 shinies. All she has to do is report to the offices of Hadaway and Hadaway with a form of I.D. and they will give her her money.

Tamiki has attempted to keep of her inheritance quiet due to the possibility that Evil Wallabies might take advantage of a nice Cat Girl with a lot of money.

Wezlee's Flight Pattern

Contributed To @Action News By Wezlee

Ah the life of a Bald Eagle. I must bring to the attention of our fair fellow Muckers. As I began my travels in the SpinDizzy I have slowly noticed that sometimes when I choose to fly I can't. Hmmmm. So I can only think that I guess not all of the SpinDizzy has sky. Ok so thus my one complaint.

Well this time around I did have a chance to look around the SpinDizzy. Actually since I have been ask to take this new perspective the look around I must say it has become an adventure. It has been kind of fun to to find the places I can fly. The other day as I was trying to fly I did get a page from Morticon. He was wondering what I was doing. I just had to tell him I was doing some "research". Kind of cool to know that someone does pay attention to our activity.

Well one place I was able to find while traveling around was a place called "Squirrel Park". It can be located by going south 4 and east 0. It was an eerie looking place that had mist and fog all around. As you travel to the center of the park, which was the only place that had clear visibility. I discovered a statue that was very old looking. It had a small door at its base, but I was unable to open it. There was a Drone machine that was used to make small drones to be used supposedly to enter through the door for Furs who may not be small enough to go through the doorway. It looked like it still worked, but I chose not to try it at this time. The doorway I think leads to a city called "Squirrel City" . Thus the drone machine. So one can make a drone and enter in. As I said before I did not open the door cause it seemed fused shut. Maybe one day I could try open it and go inside to see if there is still a "city".

I must also make a correction from my last article. I had mentioned that as I was flying over the Rose Garden I noticed a city of ruins. I said it was located to the NorthWest. It is located to the SouthWest. Please excuse me for any confusion. Well with that I feel it is time for me to put a close on another segment. Take care all and until next time.

The Eagle has landed!

Pidge Announces Creation Of Operants Against Disorganized Crime

Contributed To @Action News by Pidge

Hey yo! Ya know, I have done more than just bob long the ground eating whatever kind of edibles you've dropped. Back in the old days, we had organized crime with criminals like Mack the Knife and Tommy Da' Gun!! Ah, the good ol days. After many years with my old partner, Stew. We finally nailed them and locked them away and my life turned back into snatching scraps. That is until some wallaby jacked da' newspaper press and printed some kind of paper that only had one place in SpinDizzy... the recycling bin... wait, better yet.... the trash!

What the heck happened to organized crime. I tell you what!... it got 'dis'-ed and I can't ignore it no longer. I'm now opening the OADC which means, Operants Against Disorganized Crime. Our goal. to abolish the evil guild of criminals who blindly inflict random terror across the MUCK... the SED. Since most have no formal training in beating things into pulp. We will fight the old Celtic way and work from there. After we take those mugs out, we'll go for those leader known as

Morticon The Wallaby. We will rush in with a bunch of clubs, bats, and rocks AND BEAT HIM LIKE A SNAKE IN IRELAND... ARRRR!!... whoops (calming). Anyway, if you hate crime and want to fight back, there is always power in numbers. Join the Operants Against Disorganized Crime. Its justice with sense of justice, fun, and a good old sense of a Celtic whooping

Morticon Claims To Turn Good

Morticon, local Wallaby and alleged leader of the SED, arrived in the Rose Garden this week acting 'nice'. He seemed to enjoy hugs and scritches, was pleasant to folks, and actually claimed to recognize the differences between Centaurs and Horses, which surprised Argon, local Centaur.

Morticon told a strange story of being exposed to an over dose of Care Bear Tummy Rays, and being turned good. He claimed he had turned the SED over to Mouser and Lamar, and had donated a large number of shinies to Flutterz's aphid orphanage.

Although Morticon's actions seemed sincere, no one, for a moment is believing that he's actually turned good. Only time will tell.

Ask Uncle ~~Findra~~ Argon

'Ask Auntie Findra', is a weekly advice column in @Action News to get answers you can't find anywhere else. Auntie Findra's enormous knowledge base, and unrestricted access to research tools unavailable to others gives her the power to answer all your questions and concerns. Send your questions to Auntie Findra care of argon@spindizzy.org Because Auntie Findra is on hiatus, this week's questions were answered by Uncle Argon.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Auntie Findra,

Isn't it true that mushrooms are far superior to carrots?

Shroomie Lover

That depends on whether you are a mushroom or a carrot. Carrots have long claimed to be the smartest of plants, however the intellectual power of the mushroom is undeniable.

Dear Auntie Findra,

What are the requirements for becoming a Wizard on SpinDizzy? Is there a book I can can study?

Hungry For Power

Barnes and Nobles or Amazon.com are both sources of 'Wizzing For Dummies'. This book covers both the information necessary to be a successful SpinDizzy Wizzard, and how to tactfully deal with the few 'dummies' that populate it.

Dear Auntie Findra,

Which is better, shaking hands or sniffing backsides?

Anthropomorphic Canine

The answer depends on how well you have studied 'Wizzing For Dummies'.

Der Aunie Finbra,

Mie spelcheker iz brokan ahn mie speling iz teribal. Ani sugjestions?

Mis Spelar

Learn French.

Dear Auntie Findra,

Should I vote for the democrats, or the republicans?

Confused

You should vote for Skyler.

Dear Auntie Findra,

Is there a map of Spindizzy? Where can I buy one?

Lost

Yes, send me $50.00 and a stamped self addressed envelope and I'll send you one. Or enter 'map' or look at the map Waydya made which can be seen at: http://home.eunet.no/~rfyri/SpinDizzy/

Dear Auntie Findra,

What color was Washington's white horse?

History Major

Blue.

Dear Auntie Findra,

What happened to the help staff? Did they fall off the face of the muck?

Help Wanted

Yes, the helpstaff fell off the face of the muck. Rescue efforts were unsuccessful. If you need assistance, ask anyone on SpinDizzy or dial 4 then #.

Dear Auntie Findra,

If two passengers get on a bus in Chicago and pass a bus going to Paris, how many apples will I have left

You are two sandwiches short of a picnic.

Dear Auntie Findra,

As an SED member in good standing, is it considered proper to extend one's pinky while strangling a victim, or does good breeding encourage one to engage the aforementioned digit in assisting the others in the choking effort?

Am I Gauche

Amy Vanderbilt states that proper decorum calls for o person of culture to extend the pinky only when strangling a lady, as a sign of respect. When choking a gentleman, the pinky is used to assist in the endeavor.

Contributing To @Action News

Several folks have asked how to contribute stories and ideas to this paper. It's quite easy. Just write your story down, and send it to argon@spindizzy.org. (Be sure and include your character's name if you want to be credited with it.) Or page #mail it to Argon. Even if you don't think you can't write well, or haven't fully developed your idea, send it along. Our huge editorial staff can take any information and make a story from it. What you may consider a silly thing, or something no one cares about, could more than likely be of interest to our readers. Look at the stories we print.

Our editorial policy is to inform our readers of news concerning the folks that populate SpinDizzy, and the events that happen here. We prefer to print stories that are In Character, although Real Life news of players from their Character's point of view, or Real Life events and their effect on our Muck community are welcome.

Although our vast network of reporters, stringers, and informants cover SpinDizzy like a glove, sometimes things get by us, or we miss an opportunity to inform you, our readers. We depend on you to tell us not only things of interest to you, but to give us ideas and suggestions to make this paper better. This is YOUR paper, so let us know what YOU'D like to see in it.

@ACTION NEWS

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