Volume VIII – Issue 393 - May 11, 2008
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|Various Sources||Damage to Zoie's tree debated|
Zoie has been making more appearances in public as of late in the Rose Garden. Despite the assumed memory loss and confused look, she seems to be healing well. Though her left arm and leg are in a full cast, she still has feeling in her outer extremities, much to the relief of her friends and acquainences. Even to her surprise, a ninja made an appearance when she made a comment, much to her joy and the ninja's dismay. The ninja eventually disappeared when the raccoon said "Ninja Vanish!"
Argon and many others, in anticipation of Zoie's eventual recovery and the restoration of her memory, worked very quickly and hard to replant her fallen tree and restore it as a surprise.
However, the surprise was blown by her early return. As she was released, Zoie was given a motorized wheel chair by Morticon and Portia to allow her to move about. As she arrived late, anonymous furs began to tell the confused raccoon that her tree "never fell".
Borris, local polar bear, was one of those who was under the impression that Zoie's tree had not been damaged. Once Borris read the account of this incedent in the April 27, 2008 of @Action News, he gruffed, "Okay, in talk with Argon, Borris is finding out tree really did fall over, but was replanted and magic was used to make look as good as new....... But Borris not knowing this, thought tree had never fallen down!"
Close friend, Gilead, who has been quite the worried otter since Zoie was injured, also indicated that Zoie's tree was indeed damaged, saying, "Morticon was fighting with someone and fired a cannon I think and then the tree blew up."
The conflicting accounts caused Zoie to further withdraw from the crowd, growing ever more confused and distrustful to the point she blacked out in her wheel chair and fell asleep. The sensors in her wheel chair registered this and began to move the wheel chair back to the safety of the hospital. Despite the best efforts of some in the room to catch the wheel chair and take Zoie from it, it and Zoie returned to Morticon and Portia's home.
|SED Press Release||Zoie's Condition Update|
"Her bones are healing at an expected rate, and she is able to move herself into her wheelchair and get around without any help," Morticon stated. Morticon continued by adding Zoie has been moved into the manor to allow her more mobility and visitors.
Her exact recovery date is not yet known.
|Argon||MSTing Movie Night|
MSTing, is based on the cult favorite TV show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. The general premise of the show was that a man had been sent into space and, along with some robots he had built, was forced by "mad scientists" to watch horribly bad B grade sci-fi and horror movies. The "mad scientists'" plan was to find the perfect movie to drive folks insane and thus take over the world. The man and the robots kept their sanity by making fun of the movies or "riffing (In the style of a peanut gallery,") The links will give you far more information.
Austin started the event with a showing of One Got Fat (Also on You Tube). This was a bicycle safety film narrated by Edward Everett Horton, famous actor and probably best known for his narration of How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Basically, it portrays a group of kids doing all the wrong things as they ride their bikes as a bunch of monkies. The illustration at the top of this article illustrates my favorite part of this film, the steamroller parade. Comments and riffs ranged from the makeup to the style of bikes to Mr. Horton. A good time was had by all.
If Mirrors Could Speak" was the second feature of the night. A somewhat bizzare film for human kids about, well, clowning around. it involved a magic mirror that reflected the kid, but nothing in the background, poor clown makeup, and a geography lesson or two. It's message was that by being a "clown" it makes others think you're a jerk. Or was shown to prisoners strapped in chairs who feared clowns. Riffs on this one were intense and hilarious as the concept was just so "out there".
Austin's event drew a good crowd and everyone enjoyed the fun. Reaction was positive and it is hoped another MSTing event will be held soon.
|Argon||@Action News' Publication Schedule|
There are several reasons for this, the editor's work schedule, the ability of contributors to get articles in, in spite of other obligations of their own, and when those contribution arrive and I have time to do the HTML and get everything together and ready to be presented to you, the reader.
@Action News is a somewhat casual work, and the work of its contributors and writers is well worth the slight delays of some issues. Your patience and understanding is much appreciated!
|Zoie||Classic Gaming Article|
As I continue with my rehab, I have been officially cleared to start another sport.
In the regular game, you are placed onto a doubles team, which you get to choose where you want to be situated. At the left side of the screen, the back is the server while the front defends the net. The right side is playing defense.
The health benefits of this game is simple. You are starting to train your arm, shoulder and a bit of your waist/spine through your movements!
If you choose to serve first, the trick is to swing the motion controller as soon as it get to the top when you throw the ball upwards. This will cause a smash serve. Otherwise it will be a normal serve. The trick is to time when you hit the ball, or otherwise if you hit it too soon or late, it will fly out of bounds.
Instead of giving you an option to play singles or doubles and use the nunchuck to its fullest, it only allows you to play doubles. The only time when you see sigles action is when you are training. Either making sure you hit the ball back, direction of where you want to hit the ball or target practice.
I have a few complaints already about this game. First of all, there is no training about how to HIT the ball (besides the obvious) and controlling the motion of it. Second of all, there is no 6 set match (In common tongue, the games go to at least 6-(whatever your opponent's score is minus 2) to win. Otherwise you play a tiebreaker to 7 points minus 2 for the opponent). The game only does a best of one, two or three game sets.
As I think about it, this is only really meant for rehab and exercise so it might be best to keep it short n sweet. Then again you can always play another game when you win.
The game also shows your progress as you keep playing your game against the computer . It keeps pitting you against stronger AI opponents so you can always feel a smaller challenge each time you play.
Well, I've been told that my back is getting a lil bit better so I may be able to bend over a lil bit soon so hopefully I'll be able to issure a new phase of my rehab next week.
With lots of love,
Zoie, fan of Lleyton Ferret, Austrailian
|@Action News staff||Thanks!|
Special thanks go to:
Various Sources for the information about Zoie's tree,
|Patch O'Black||Four-Kolor Kitty: A suit with all the options.|
It's time again for the ol' Four-Kolor Kitty! This week, in honor of the release of the movie version of Iron Man, we will be looking at the various models and changes Iron Man's armor has gone through over the years. Tony Stark, ever the inventor and trendsetter, knows one has to keep up-to-date with the latest in super-heroic fashions, after all!
The very first armor was very basic. A gray suit, made of good old iron, wasn't very much to look at, but it got the job done. Motors boosted the wearer's strength and speed. Air pressure jets that allowed for a boost when jumping, thought not enough to fly. Mounted in his chest was something called a monobeam, with only a few yards of effective range, while the suit itself could protect the pilot from small arms fire, extreme temperature changes, acids, as well as some from of energy. It also included some tools and magnetic capabilities. The chest piece also acted to prevent a piece of shrapnel Mr. Stark had in his chest from entering his heart and killing him. It could also be recharged from an ordinary electrical outlet.
Later, Tony would change the color from gray to gold so that it was more appealing to the public. He would update the various weapons and gears, provide boot jets for limited flight, and add a kilt to cover certain parts that, while already not showing anything, still might get him in trouble with more conservative folks.
Most folks, however, think of the Red and Gold armor when they think of Shellhead. While most of the functions of the armor were the same as previous models, it included better power handling, allowed for recharging from a number of electrical sources, better mobility, the appearance of his now-famous "Repulsor Rays", better boot-thruster, and even collapsible roller skates. You know, for when the Avengers went out to the local roller rink. The armor functions were accessed ether through microswitches in the gloves, or in the helmet accessed (get this) by the wearer's tongue. I hope there was on-board disinfectant!
As Tony continued to upgrade his main armor, he also started making specialized versions for specific needs. He had various Space Armor, for when he needed to travel outside of Earth's atmosphere. Stealth armor, quiet and camouflaged for when one want to not be detected. Hydro armor for diving into the deepest oceans. He produced a heavily armed suit for his friend and once substitute Iron Man, which he dubbed "War Machine". He even created a huge suit of armor with increased strength and physical protection, dubbed the "HulkBuster" armor.
The current version of Iron Man's armor is the most cutting edge, as one would be expect. Using nanotechnology, the inner part of the armor is actually incorporated into Tony's own body. As a cyborg, this allows him to directly interface with the outer armor, improving reaction time, as well as letting him use a "VR" style system for commanding his armor. The armor itself uses modified repulsors for flight, and the nanotechnology actually allows Tony to heal himself more quickly, should he be hurt.
Well, it's time to button up this edition of Four-Kolor Kitty. Remember, if you have a fashionable topic or a question you need someone to put a cap on, just page #mail it to PatchO'Black. Until next time, see you in the funny pages!
|Gilead||Gilead's Puns of a Feather|
Q: What do you get when you cross a large bird with a large snake?
Q: What do you get when you cross an eagle with a snake?
Q: What do you get if you leave your iron chicken out in the rain?
Q: What did they call Shakespeare's pet parrot?
Q: What do you call a pigeon who fights the organized crime empire of Al Capon?
Q: What did the embarrassed bird say after he said something really stupid?
Q: How did the chicken comedian prepare for his show?
Q: What do you call an expanding projectile that can take a chicken's leg clean off?
Q: Where do ducks go for stock trading tips?
Q: Why didn't the owl take kindly to the complaints of the mice he caught?
Q: Why don't birds make good chemists?
Q: What do the bird police do when they come upon a murder?
Q: What do you call a large predatory online bird?
Hi all! Here's your @Action News survey for this week. Do you use those 'social networking' sites (like Twitter and Pownce)? If so, which one(s)?
|Source unknown||Doze Garden Cartoon|
Editor's note: This panel from some comic book was shared in the Rose Garden this week. With my hand still sore from my "carpentry work" and no good idea for a comic this week, I thought I'd share it. I hope to ask Patch O'Black, local Jellicle cat and resident comic book expert if he can identify where it came from. Not that it matters much, the nonsensical situation here can't be explained in spite of any amount of suspension of disbelief.
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