Volume VIII – Issue 359 - July 22, 2007
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter read from anywhere.
|Argon||Real Life Crime Fighters?|
Left to right - Just stand-ins: Argon, Dingo, Patch O'Black, Aurora, Pathfinder, and Xiaoming who isn't a teddybeartaur, but I couldn't find a plush that looked like her and I figured it was unique enough to fill in.
Aurora, local penguin, noted last week in the Rose Gardem that she was playing what she was, a penguin in real life. Real life being the place she (and others,) come from. Argon, local centaur noted that he too is a centaur back on Earth, his home. Aurora noted that she too was from Earth. This had Xiaoming, local human, Dingo, local dingo. and Pathfinder, local red panda (or wah,) announced that they too are from Earth.
This was met with a happy dance. Aurora said, "We and our players could fight crime! Or play Bingo, or something else people can do in groups."
Dingo said, "Oooh! Quietball!"
Argon said that we could have a club, with secret decoder rings, as Aurora said, "And Hula-Mosh dancing." Dingo said, "And cheesy catchphrases!"
Aurora said, "................Squee?"
Dingo replied, "Good enough."
But then it came time to decide on a leader. A Mr. Fantastic or Superman, or Yoda. Xiaoming, voicing this concern said, "And who's our mentor, Argon-san? Patchy-kun in a wheel-chair?" Argon agreed that a Jellicle leader would be fine and the rest of the group agreed.
Dingo then asked, "Who would we fight crime against?"
Pathfinder snickered "Morticon and Kunoichi?"
Argon said., "But we could fight... uhm, the people that make reality TV shows!"
Xiaoming agreed saying, "So desu!"
Aurora said, "Hey, yeah! ..............And penguin-eating orcas." You say, "Those too!"
So, peguin eating orcas and the makers of reality TV shows, and maybe Morticon and Kunoichi, had better watch out as the Super SpinDizzians mete out justice back home on Earth!
|Argon||Practice for National Pickle Attack Month!|
After getting a cold Fresca soda from Abbie, local green faerie, Suri, local lemur, opened it from her usual position on the back of Argon, local centaur. The centaur isn't usually suprised by the action of the lemur, but this time he was startled when she popped the soda open right next to his ear!
Argon acked as soda sprayed all over his ear! "Ear refreshment!" she said as the centaur grumbled and mumbled as he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the soda off his ear. He then made the error of saying he was glad it wasn't National Pickle Attack Month, a holiday celebrated in Madagascar by the lemurs. It seems to be practiced by sticking pickles in centaurs' ears. This caused Suri to wish she had a pickle to "practice" with.
Argon was pleased that there were no pickles around. His pleasure was shortlived as Abbie pulled out a jar of pickles and offered Suri one.
Suri set her Fresca down on Argon's back, and stuffed the pickle into his ear. "Pickle attack!" she cried! Argon replied with, "Ack, ack!" which caused Suri to prunkle cretumbrously. She then retrieved her soda, which hadn't even fallen over.
Suri said, "And that's how a pickle attack is conducted."
Abbie giggled "Sorry Argon, but it was too funny to resist!"
Abbie put the jar back into her purse and said "You could write an article about it.."
Suri said, "An educational presentation about National Pickle Attack Month."
And so I did.
|Austin Dern (from the Bulletin Board, The BBC, and Argon||Seagull becomes crisp shoplifter|
|Austin Dern From the Bulletin Board, Flora Wang of The Taipei Times, Argon
||Shoushan Zoo admits raccoon pair escaped
Two raccoons at the Shoushan Zoo in Kaohsiung have proved that life does imitate art, fleeing their enclosure just like a scene from the animated film Madagascar.
Several local news channels, including ETTV and FTV, quoted a zoo staffer yesterday saying that a male and female raccoon dug a hole next to a wall in their enclosure about a week after arriving from the Hsinsen Zoo in Changhua in March.
The man said he was surprised to find a deep hole in the enclosure and that the pair had fled.
Chen Po-tsai, an official at the zoo, confirmed the report to the Taipei Times yesterday.
He said zoo staffers had tried for more than a month to lure the raccoons back using food, but only the female has been recovered.
Chen said it was very difficult for the zoo to keep track of the male because raccoons are nocturnal animals.
He said the zoo was not worried about the raccoon being attacked by monkeys in nearby Chaishan because "the monkeys are only interested in fruit."
The zoo was required to check the species and number of its animals after it was found to have mistakenly identified a Nile crocodile -- the same reptile that bit off the left forearm of veterinarian Chang Po-yu on April 11 -- and that it had "married" two female elephants five years ago.
Chen said the zoo has conducted a thorough review of its inhabitants.
Three years ago it had 651 animals and 84 species, while this year it has 534 animals and 81 species.
"Many of the animals died of old age or illness," Chen said, adding that most of the deaths had been among birds.
"If four animals die every month, that would amount to about 50 animals a year. Therefore, 100 or so deaths over the past three years was a reasonable decrease," he said.
Kaohsiung City Economic Affairs Bureau Director Jason Hung, whose office oversees the zoo, said the zoo would confirm its animals and species by September.
"I hope the zoo can eventually design ID cards for each of its animals," he said.
||Darius has competition
Darius, local ferret, has comepetion in his crusade to rid the Rose Garden of venders.
According to Darius, the occaisional ice cream, plushie, or snack vender pushing their cart towards the folks in the Rose Garden, are undocumented and taking jobs and income from legitimate SpinDizzy residents.
Darius' answer to his percieved invasion of the venders is to use several methods to "baconise" them. Using a gun or cannon or just jumping around and ranting, he turns the venders, usually, into bacon.
But Darius has either an ally in his crusade, or competition in Justin and Dave, non-local humans who have invented BaconSalt.
Rather than having to point a gun or even speak, the BaconSalt allows one to simply sprinkle the vender and have them instantly taste like bacon! No muss. No fuss, and no messy clean up.
With both Darius and BaconSalt, it is expected that the number of Rose Garden venders will be greatly reduced. In spite of these advances in the baconization of venders, there are still a number of SpinDizzians who do not see the venders as a threat and would prefer they be left alone. They have taken hope in the fact that no matter how many venders become bacon, there are plenty more to replace them.
The results of the BaconSalt assault will be reported if newsworthy, in a future addition of @Action News.
||Four-Kolor Kitty: The Fur Flies…Literally!
Hello, fellow campers, and welcome once again! This week, at the request of that cute little kitty, Than, we are going to look at a little gem from DC’s Silver Age (gems and silver, am I mix metaphors here?) called… The Legion of Super-Pets! Strap in folks, I sense wackiness here!
In order to understand this Legion, you first need to know the members, all of which are, of course, super-powered animals.
Next, we have Supergirl’s feline friend, Streaky the Supercat. This is because we all know that every boy is required to have a dog and every girl a cat. Streaky is not from Krypton, but got his powers from an experiment that Supergirl did, creating Kryptonite-X, exposure to which gives this cat his super-powers temporarily. Since he is not a Kryptonian, he is immune to Kryptonite.
Next, there is Comet, the Super-Horse. Again, a friend of Supergirl (because what little girl doesn’t want her own horse?), Comet started his life as a centaur of all things. A magic spell cast on him turns him from horse-like to horse, but also grants him great powers! Again, since he is not from Krypton, he can ignore those green rocks.
The last of the “S” wearing group was one Beppo, the Super-Monkey who had stowed away on Superman’s rocket to Earth. Originally, this monkey caused Superboy no end of trouble with his (wait for it) monkey-shine (you may now groan), he later was trained to become a useful addition to the Super-Pets. As long as you kept the bananas coming.
Later, this group would add to its ranks Proty II, the pet of Chameleon Boy of the Legion of Super-Heroes. Proty I died earlier helping to revive another Legion of Super-heroes member, Lightning Lad. This little fellow was a shape-shifter, and could even mimic humanoid shapes. You have to wonder why it was considered a “pet”, don’t you?
Another member, though not typically seen, is Streaky’s own ancestor in the 30th Century, Whizzy! I don’t know…Streaky? Whizzy? I bet both of these felines had to live down endless “litter box” jokes with those names. Then again, Wizzy’s existence shows that Streaky must not have had too much of problem finding a lady cat to spend a few nights with. Take that, Krypto! In any case, Whizzy not only has Supercat’s powers, he is telepathic as well.
So, how did this group of super-powered critters come together? Well, seems that in one of Superboy’s outings to the 30th-Century to visit the Legion of Super-Heroes, a group of telepathic no-good-nicks put the mental whammy on the pride of Smallville. When it was discovered the the Legion could not stand against them, they then noticed that animals were unaffected by the mental powers of these criminals. Thus, they rounded up the animal companions and had them go to town on the bad guys. Of course, once you have three or more super-powered folks get together, them are required to become a team. Thus was the Legion of Super-Pets born. They would come together to battle super-computers, an evil duplicate of Super-Girl, and even the Legion of Substitute-Heroes. The Subs versus the pets! You have to wonder if both sides felt ashamed that they were being matched against the other. In the end, though, the Crisis on Infinite Earths came and reset the whole DC Universe time line, wiping away the Legion of Super-Pets. Still, not all is forgotten. Apparently, in the 853rd Century, there is a Justice Legion Z, comprised
of future versions of the super-animals.
And I think we will call it a day for the Four-Kolor Kitty! Remember to keep those ideas, suggestions, and questions coming in! Until next time, see you in the funny pages!
||Suri's Fun Things to Do!|
Make Zinc Beads!
Use your cardboard to make a pattern for the beads. It should be in the form of a tall, narrow isosceles triangle. The length of the base will be the length of each bead, and the height should be some 50 or so times the length. E.g., you might start with a pattern having a base of a quarter inch, and some 12 to 16 inches tall.
Cut the cotton ends off your Q-tip, so you're left with a small stick. Use your pattern to cut a triangle from zinc foil. Wrap the triangle around the stick, base end first, and roll it up. Secure the tip with a little bit of glue. When the glue is dry, slide it off the stick. Now you've got a zinc bead!
||Gilead's Business of Puns
This week's puns are dedicated to Astro, the rare and elusive lap ferret (2002-2007). Play among your fellow stars, 'Stro-Stro.
Q: What do baby ferrets look forward to every December?
Q: Who comes to bring presents for all the good little ferret kits to steal?
Q: What did the burly ferret say when someone spilled a drink on him in a bar?
Q: What Mormon ferret is running for President?
Q: What's a ferret's favorite rock and roll oldie?
Q: What's a baby ferret's favorite nursery rhyme?
Q: What did the animals say when The Lone Ferret rescued them?
Q: Why are police suspicious of albino ferrets?
Q: How did the ferret describe his ordeal of falling into a bucket of sticky treats?
Q: Why should you always go to a ferret bank for fast-turnover investments?
Q: Why do all hand-drawn comics about ferrets feature all-male casts?
Q: What do you call a comic about a ferret and his plush tiger?
Q: What do you call a ferret corrupted by Sauron?
Q: Where do ferrets go to shop for plumbing supplies?
Q: Why did all the ferret day-traders poop themselves when the ferret tycoon made a big stock purchase?
Q: What do shallow jills look for in a mate?
:Q How did Princess-Jill Leia describe her rescuer, Hob Solo?
Hi all Ba'ar here with your @Action News Survey for this week.With the last Harry Potter book due out this Friday, do you have plans to get a copy of your own?
||Doze Garden Cartoon|
All you get when Argon has artists' block.
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