October 30, 2005
Volume VI - Issue 271
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.
SpinDizzy Halloween Party Lots of Fun
Again this year, Patch O'Black, local Jellicle cat, hosted the community's Holloween party. A section of Patch's Jellicle fields was decorated with spooky decorations and a host of Patch's special plants that matched the occaision. Patch was dressed up as the world champion of Duel Monsters, Pat-Chi-Oh!, and really looked the part.
Other guests showed up in costume. Ba'ar, local bear, too chose a pirate outfit and was quite the swashbuckling denizon of the seas. Gilead, local otter, came dressed in classical Middle Eastern attire from the age of Aladdin claiming to be from the "Otterman" empire. Leowulf, local wolf-lion, came as the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz, and Argon, celebrating Borris Vallejo's permission to post his work on his web site came pretty much undressed as a Vallejo Centaur.
Lot of fun was had as everyone acted like the characters they were costumed as, and even hd a laugh as Morticon, local Wallaby, showed up as a female wallaby.
The party started Sunday night, but will run through Halloween on Monday. The party is easy to reach by just entering Party from any place on SpinDizzy. So get out a costume and come on over. It'll be rememembered as a great event if it weren't for those meddling kids!
Dolly, local balloon genie, met trouble this week in the Rose Garden. Showing up in her vollyballoon form, she was having fun being bounced and tossed around by the folks in the park. However Argon, local centaur, who was trying to write down a web site URL for Andrew, another local centaur, carelessly pointed his pen point side up as he put it and is hand to the side of his head to jog his memory. Not paying attention, the pen met Dolly as she bounced his way causing a puncture!
Air escaping from the puncture had the effect you might expect and Dolly flew around the Rose Garden . Leowulf, local lion-wolf, acted quickly and found a vollyball net. Tossing one pole to Argon, the stretched the netting out in Dolly's path ending her random flight. Although punctured and losing preassure, Dolly seemed to have enjoyed flying around the park but was calm as Argon and Leowulf laid her out on one of the benches. By this time, Dolly was in her genie form and Argon was able to find a patch kit in one of her pockets. Leowulf had his paw over the puncture to keep Dolly from deflating further, and working quickly and in sync, the centaur and lion-wolf were able to seal it.
Dolly still seemed to be in good spirits, and apparently felt that Argon and Leowulf could take care of the problem. She even jokes about feeling like a "Whoopie Cushion". Once the patch was set, it came time to reinflate Dolly. Argon asked Leo if he would do the honors as inflating a balloon person was, to him, somewhat intimate. He said in an emergency he would of course do so to save a balloon, but being married and with other folks available, he thought someone else should do it.
Leo found Dolly's nozzle where a human would have a belly button, and being a non smoker and healthy, got Dolly back up to proper PSI in just a few minutes. Soon Dolly was back to normal, and everyone was relieved.
Argon mentioned this event to the morning group the next day, and poor Beltrami, local balloon 'roo, almost turned green at the thought of a puncture! This was understandable, but the sentaur reminded the balloon 'roo that it just went to show that folks knew what to do in that sort of emergency. It was then suggested that just as humans have CPR classes, SpinDizzy ought to have balloon repair classes so that everyone will know what to do in case of an accident.
Morticon doesn't have a clue
Confirming what many have claimed for years, Morticon, local wallaby and alledged leader of the Society of Evil Doers, actually admitted to being clueless.
While preparing for the community Halloween party, Vassily, local two toed sloth, was getting input on his costume. Standing nearly 30 feet tall, he did indead "loom" over the Rose Garden. This caused Morticon to offer the sloth some thread (for his loom, get it?).
With this, DTF, local wolf asked Morticon, "How goes the plotting?" This caused Morticon to respond, "Plot? What plot?" and to look around suspiciously as though some secret had gotten out. Vassily then asked, "You haven't got a plot?" To which Morticon, responded, "Nor a clue."
So we now have proof that Morticon, self proclaimed evil genius, doesn't have a clue.
Dangerous Red Panda Suspected
Reports have been received that there could be a raging red panda on the loose. There has been several sightings of a dangerous red panda including one reported biting. The alleged victim's injuries were taken care of promptly with no known side affects.
Please be on the look out for any strange occurrences in relation to this case. Be extra careful at night, for that is when most of the sightings have occured. Report any new sightings to the nearest SED member.
Guest gets dental work
A guest to SpinDizzy found the hard way that some centaurs prefer good manners.
Andrew, local centaur, reported that the guest had stopped by earlier. It had made a very poor impression on him by jumping on his equine back and kicking its heels into Andrew's flanks! Shocked by such rudeness, the centaur reared up plunking the guest flat on its grass! As the guest got to its feet, it made a comment that shall not be repeated here, and Andrew used his hind legs to give the guest a reason to visit the dentist.
Although Andrew is more "Horse-like" and his actions based on instinct than some of the other centaurs, any centaur could do the same thing. It is always best to ask before jumping on a centaur's back. And it is certainly the more polite and thoughtful thing to do. At first glance, you don't know what a centaur might do if you just jump on them. Would you do the same to a ballon you just met, or a fursnake?
Red Panda Population Growing
In the past few weeks the number of red pandas populating SpinDizzy has exploded. Portia and Wind Dancer have been joined by new residents, Darius (IC not the ferret Darius but red panda Darius,) and Amodeo.
It was noted that if the red panda population continues to grow, Morticon could begin to fear them as much as he fears the local centaur community. If the red pandas and the centaurs were to join forces, the SED and Morticon could possibly be put out of business. Argon, local centaur, noted that what Morticon seems to fear about the centaurs is their close knit freindship and comradery and the fact that they will protect their friends, centaur or not. Argon was heard to say, "Heck, if Morti were a little nicer, we might even protect him."
As of press time, Morticon has not been any nicer to the centaurs.
Cute Furnace Repair
Andrew, local centaur who at times makes his home in Canada, was complaining about the cold weather he was already experiencing up there. He noted that he wasn't looking forward to it, as his central electric heater wasn't working. It kept flipping the breakers.
Vixie, local self proclaimed "cute" fox, told Andrew she was an expert at heater repair. Andrew told her to have at it, so she did.
After taking a lot of parts out of the heater, she crawled in and got started. With a lot of cartoon sound effects, nuts, bolts, pipes, sockets, washers, a washing machine, a bathtub, a sewing machine and a cow, were tossed out of the heater as Vixie began work.
Asking Andrew to hand her tools and other equipment, there was the sound of a drill, a jack hammer, an old timey car horn, a horse whinny,a phone ringing, and three calling birds. At this point, she asked Andrew to turn off the electricity to the heater so she could begin the hard work.
More strange noises were heard inside the heater and then Vixie asked Andrew to start it up again. There was a loud pop, then a poof of air and a big cloud of smoke coming out of the heater followed quickly by cute Vixie who had a burning whisker!
Quickly putting the whisker out, Vixie began rebuilding the heater. As she finished, she told Andrew that the large pile of parts were just "...extras they put in to charge you more," and told him to hire a truck to carry them away.
As of press time, Andrew is looking for a wood stove to heat his home.
Pickle Attack Month drawing to a close
With sales of earmuffs reaching record limits, local merchants are bemoaning the close of Pickle Attack Month.
Suri, local lemur, educated the SpinDizzy community of this obscure celebration several years ago by sticking a very large, juicy dill into the ear of Argon, local centaur. Although he has given Suri lifetime centaurback privilages, he prefers not to have pickles stuck in his ear. Tarka, local otter has been refused centaurback privileges due to a tendency to leak while on the centaur's back.
As Pickle Attack Month came upon us this year, Argon was put on a set of earmuffs when Suri leaped upon his back. Suri calls these earmuffs pickle filters and is not happy to see them used. Thwarted in her observance of the date, she then lept to the back of Mavra, local centaur and Argon's lovely wife. Argon was sure Suri was going to stick a pickle in Mavra's ear, so he handed his wife a pair of earmuffs. Suri grimbled at this and made her way to Andrew, another local centaur and leapt on his back.
Argon told Andrew that Suri was a polite and thoughtful guest on his back and assured Andrew that she would cause no harm while on his. Argon didn't mention what month it was or why he and Mavra were wearing earmuffs. He and Mavra decided to play a joke on "the new guy", and not tell him what Suri was up to.
Within moments, Suri's quest was fufilled as she stuffed the pickle into Andrew's ear shouting, "Pickle Attack!" Andrew was a bit startled, but took the gag well. As the paper goes to press, only one more day is left in Pickle Attack Month. Thankfully!
|Spindizzy Newswire Services||
DOOM Movie Minus One Otter!
Spindizzy residents going to the local cineplex to see the DOOM movie over the weekend were in for a rude shock...Tarka, local DOOM otter, wasn't in it! Reached for comment, Tarka was quoted as saying "It is truly an abysmal world when the movie of 'DOOM' does not have the most powerful entity for DOOM in it. Sad...and I am so going to doom them."
Neither ID Software, maker of the DOOM game nor Universal Studios, the movie studio responsible for the movie, could be reached for comment.
|Soul Fox and Narrator||
Soul_Food For Thought: Basic Construction Part 5
|Editor's note: This is the last of this series so is a little longer than most articles in @Action News. As it is interesting, and I know of several folks who have been enjoying it, I decided not to seperate it into sections. - Argon
Soul_Food For Thought: Basic Construction Part 5
Now, you will see the entire process of creating a relatively detailed environment, from start to finish. This is taken directly from a previously prepared work file, as recommended in the first installment of this series. Everything is as it would be, ready to be cut and pasted, except for editorial commentary, which will appear in (parentheses).
Upon approach to the island, the wind bears a subtle, yet distinctive,
unwholesome tang; the air, itself, carries a palpable chill which belies this
tropical latitude. A disturbing quiet hangs over this place like a pall... Where
on another such island, the sounds of the wind and waves might be calming, here,
in the absence of any other natural sounds, they echo hollowly beneath the sky.
3. Room is NOT dark. 4. Throwing is allowed. 5. Linking is NOT allowed. 6. Pets
are allowed. 8. Room can NOT change ownership. 9. Room's parent room is Macumba
Cay Environment Room(#12345). 10. This room is NOT publically sweepable. 11.
Others can NOT set this room as their homes. 12. Edit this room's exits. 13.
Create a new room. 14. Teleport to edit one of your other rooms. Enter
'1' through '14', or 'Q' to QUIT.
In Step With: The Antiracoon
This week, we chat with The_antiraccoon, local vampire
The_Antiraccoon has arrived.
Ba'ar growls, "Hello Anti...and thanks for helping me out with the interview."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "No problem."
Ba'ar growls, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "A bit more than a year, I think I've lost track." You growl, "What brought you to Spindizzy?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "I tried out a few mucks. I did not have much fun on Furry Muck, did not really fit in on any MUD. And Furcadia, they just plain creeped me out. :)"
Ba'ar nods, "I see...so...What's with the unusual name? Why do you call yourself the_antiraccoon?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "I have had to change my name quite a few times during my career."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Especially considering I spent part of it suffering from amnesia."
You growl, "Amnesia?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "It was caused by my greatest enemy, Alicia. I think that I might have deserved it, but when dealing with the kitsune you can never tell. Who knows what she did to my mind?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "She turned me into a beastman, she made me part raccoon somehow. We later fought at some kind of a stadium, and it was there that she took away my memories too."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "I remember her taunting me somehow, but not exactly what she said."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Not even now, now that I have my memories back."
Ba'ar nods, "I see. I understand you're a vampire. Were you born one?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "No, I got infected during one of my many adventures."
Ba'ar growls, "How hard has it been to adjust to being a vampire?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "I have never adjusted, and I continue to look for a cure."
You growl, "How have your friends and family reacted to your being a vampire?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Er... I sort of haven't got any. I made up with my apprentice, though."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "... who, apparently... is the son of Alicia...."
Ba'ar nods, "How do you deal with your unique 'nutritional requirements' without becoming a burden on SD?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "I am a burden, but not on most of the locals. Patch grows a... patch of bloodroots. These roots actually contain blood."
Ba'ar nods, "I see...so..Who do you admire the most?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Nobody comes to mind. Perhaps if I looked up to somebody, I would not have ended up like... this."
Ba'ar nods, "What is it about Spindizzy would you change if you could?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "More excitement, more rampaging dragons and secret ruins! More monsters! My adventuring career was cut short because I simply could not find any work anymore."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "There's a lesson in that. You'd be surprised how quick you can spend your share of a dragon's hoard."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Save your gold, kids."
Ba'ar nods, "Other than finding a cure for your vampirism, what other plans do you have for the future?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Er... I never thought about that."
Ba'ar growls, "How about finding someone special and settling down? Have any thoughts of that?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "It's possible, but unlikely. Contrary to popular belief, we heroes are not always that great with the ladies."
Ba'ar growls, "Too much wanderlust?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Usually. But I'm just shy. :)"
Ba'ar nods, "So do you have a secret fact or desire that would surprise our readers?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Let's see..."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "I already mentioned it a couple nights ago, even. Now that I am no longer in the hero business, I do not have to worry about public opinion. It's great! Anyway, it's that I am different in private than I act in public."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "When you are a hero, there is a certain image you need to present to potential clients. I was used to presenting it 24/7."
Ba'ar growls, "How so?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "You know... courageous, larger-than-live, a wit as sharp as his blade... that sort of dull stuff."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "If your name does not get out there, you won't get hired."
Ba'ar growls, "In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Try to be a complete person, I guess. I spent all my life only focusing on one thing. Catching an escaped animal, getting strong enough to battle Alicia... and losing. But since I was so narrow-minded, I'm now obsolete. I make pocket change working for SED."
Ba'ar growls, "That concludes our interview. Again, thanks for helping me out with it."
The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "No problem. So long."
The_Antiraccoon is carried away when a runaway sputnik rams into him.
The_Antiraccoon has left.
o/~ Gilead does the Mash. He does the Punster Mash! o/~
|Q: What's a witch's best subject in elementary school?
Q: Where do you keep lycanthropes?
Q: What's grosser than gross?
Q: Why was the vampire locked up?
Q: Why was the Southern Kalifornian mad scientist so eager to finish his monster?
Q: Why did the hardware store owner tearfully bury some of his stock?
Q: How did the Aussie musician die in a George A. Romero film?
Q: Why couldn't the mad scientist manage to make his monster work?
Q: What do you call a Revolutionary War centaur hit by a cannonball in NY?
Q: How do teenangels spend the night before Halloween?
Q: How did the vampire feel when confronted with a religious symbol?
Q: Why did The Dread Vampirate Roberts keel over?
Q: What do you call a pumpkin that kills prostitutes?
Q: What hops and eats brains?
Q: What do unkempt spiders make?
Q: How do you know dead Egyptians can keep a secret?
Q: What did the dead Egyptian's Ka do when a bigger Ka beat it up?
Q: What do you call a straw dummy on the make for some hot, feathered lovin'?
Q: What do you call a pumpkin with a bad attitude?
Q: What do nerds do on Halloween?
Q: What did the naughty chickens do the night before Halloween?
Q: What do two devils do when they love each other?
Q: What's more unlucky than a black cat crossing your path?
Q: Why did the waifish female zombie get lots of dates?
Q: What chases procyonid tush all over Middle Earth?
Q: What did the spirits do when a ghost suddenly turned up alive?
Q: Where should you bury the not-quite-dead?
Q: Why did the witch doctor bring a cleric when he was trying to make his fugu-poisoned victims into zombies?
Q: What ensues when a bloodsucker steps out in the sunlight?
The "Eventlist" Crystal Ball
Each week @Action News will print the "Eventlist" notices here. This list will be accurate as of press time, but be sure and check it during the week. Activities and events can be proposed, rescheduled or event cancelled for all sorts of reasons. So stay "in the know" by checking Eventlist often.
To get a list with details as shown here, enter eventlist #week #long.
The following events are scheduled within the next 7 days:
This week in history
Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?
Newspaper Circulation Report
@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.
Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.
Just as a note, this makes a full year @Action News has been showing our circulation numbers. Yay!
Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear H. Unter:
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear M. ixedup:
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear O. House
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear Gay Mer
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear F. Kruger
Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to email@example.com. Thanks.
Hi gang. As usual I'm doing the survey for @Action News. (Public thanks to Argon for our brand new Survey logo!) This week's is...What are you going to be dressed up as this Halloween?
The Doze Garden
|@Action News Info||
Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles
Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to firstname.lastname@example.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News