@ Action News

Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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Centaur confirms claim that horses spy on wallabies

Talking horse, Argon, admitted directly to Morticon, well loved philanthipist and scientific genius, that he had installed TV cameras in SED (Society of Evil Doers,) head quarters to observe activities there.

As expected the completely innocent and well meaning wallaby was appalled at the idea of his work being observed and claimed that he would search his facilities and remove any non-SED observation devices.

Other SED employees were shocked at the idea of observation in areas where they thought either weren't covered or the SED equipment was inoperative. Morticon said that such equipment was there only for security purposes and not to "spy" on its employees/

Argon claimed that he too was only observing "legitimate" activities but it was suggested he might have a purient interest in wallaby mating practices. The centaur answered this charge with a simple, "No comment".

New reporters join @Action News staff

Just as CBS stole Katie Curic from NBC, @Action News has... wait, that's not a good analogy. Just as KFC has a "secret ingredient, @Action News has a secret... no, that's not it either.

What it amounts to is Skyler, local bunny slippers (sometimes,) and Findra, another bunny and sometimes squirrel, have joined the ranks of @Action News reporters.

So if you have some news that might be of interest to other SpinDizzians, talk to Argon, Ba'ar, Findra or Skyler, and let everyone know what interesting things are happening here.

Adapted theme songs

For some reason I was humming the "Felix the Cat", theme and found myself subsituting "Suri the Lemur" for Felix. So I made up a few other themes for some SpinDizzy regulars.

(To Felix the Cat)
Suri the lemur
The winderful wonderful lemur
You'll laugh so hard your sides will ache, you might just break a femur
Watching Suri, the wonderful lemur!
(To Popeye the Sailor Man)
I'm Vixie the cute vixen
I'm Vixie the cute vixen
I'm cute to the finish 'cause I eat my chocolate
I'm Vixie the cute vixen.

(To the tune of Yogi Bear)
Ba'ar the bear is smarter than the average bear
Ba'ar the bear is always in the centaurs' hair
In the press room you will find him there
Filling @Action News with more goodies than the average bear

He may sleep 'till noon but before it's dark
He'll have gathered all the news that's heard in SpinDizzy's park. Ba'ar has it better than a millionaire
That's because he's smarter than the average bear.

To Top Cat
Patch O'Black!
The most Jellicle, Patch O'Black
Who's Nekobus riding friends get to call him Patchy
Provided it's done Jellically
Top Cat! The indisputable Jellicalest cat
He will dance, he will sing, he will do anything, to remain Jellicle.
He's the most Jellicle
Patch O'Black!

(To Underdog)
There's no need to fear, Gina Doberman is here.
When wallabies in this world appear,
And break the laws that they should fear,
And frighten all who see or hear,
The cry goes up both far and near for
Gina Doberman!
Gina Doberman!
Gina Doberman!
Gina Doberman!

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder,
Fighting all who rob or plunder
Gina, Gina Doberman!

When in @Action News world the headlines read Of those who's hearts are filled with greed And rob and steal from those in need. To right this wrong with blinding speed goes Gina Doberman!
Gina Doberman!
Gina Doberman!
Gina Doberman!

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder,
Fighting all who rob or plunder
Gina, Gina Doberman!

To Mighty Mouse
Mr. Walrus never hangs around
When he hears this mighty sound,
With a "wallop" goes another seal
Borris' mallet gets another meal

Yes sir when there is a wrong to right
Borris Bear will join the fight
In the sea or on the ice
Even with his mallet he is nice!

(To Puff the Magic Dragon)
Aushae the magic dragon lived in SpinDizzy
And enjoyed the warm company of her extended family
Little Austin Dern loved that dragon Aushae
And brought her conversation of excellent quality

Together they'd tour SpinDizzy over hill and dale
Austin kept a lookout perched on puff's gigantic tail,
Noble kings and others would greet them when they came
Pirate ships would lower their flag when Aushae roared out her name

Dragon live forever as do cartoon rabbit coatis
Especially when the same is true of their well loved family
At night you can find them, circled round the fire
Hugged and snugged and feeling that no ther love could be higher.

Gilead's otterrible puns

Q: what's the most sacred site in Samusalem?
A: The Whaling Wall.

Q: How does a rodent control his computer?
A: With a keyboard and a human.

Q: How is money raised for crippled snakes?
A: The Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Python.

Q: What kind of snake makes pizza cheese?
A: A grater snake.

Q: What kind of procyonid has an sentient hand attached to its butt.
A: A Thing-tail.

Q: What eats bamboo and has all sorts of aftermarket parts?
A: A hotrod panda.

Q: What social bird of prey gets slapped a lot?
A: A sexual Harris'-ment hawk.

Q: Who's his best friend?
A: The Great Horny Owl.

Q: What's the worst-smelling reptile?
A: A turdle.

Q: What's the worst-smelling equid?
A: A dungkey.

Q: Why did the two tree rodents stop speaking to each other?
A: They had a squarrel.

Q: Why are squirrels so afraid of African tribal wizards?
A: They heard wizards steal their nuts.

Q: What do deer ghosts say?
A: Cari-boooooooo...

Q: What rides on the back of a mamma scorpion?
A: Her scorpiyoung.

Q: What can open any banana?
A: A skeleton monkey.


Dear Editor,
It seems your bear, Baar, got it wrong. He stated in the advice column that the centaurs would conduct airport security. Now I hate to differ but we have a WatchWolf guarding the airport. He works free and gets to eat all trespassers. Clean efficient and only a few bones to toss in the dustbin. I would like everyone to know that Lupus, the WatchWolf will keep the airport safe for all. No terrorist can fool this wolf, not even if they tempt him with 22 virgin wolf treats. And he is cute too.
Timmie T. Skunk,
Airport Maintenance Manager.

This week in History

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

In Step With: Daemonnuit

DaemonThis week, we have a chat with Daemonnuit, local panther.

DaemonNuit has arrived.

DaemonNuit knocks?

Ba'ar smiles. "Welcome Daemonnuit."

Ba'ar growls, "Thank you for helping me do the interview."

DaemonNuit bows, "Good evening, Ba'ar.

DaemonNuit nods, "Anytime. I've never been interviewed before.

Ba'ar nods, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

DaemonNuit hmms thoughtfully, "I'd say about four years."

Ba'ar nods, "What brought you to Spindizzy? Any special reason why you're here?"

DaemonNuit says, "Vell, I vas creating portals and this vone opened up. I liked it vhen I came through, so I decided to stay."

Ba'ar nods, "Do you remember what it was like where you came from? "

DaemonNuit says, "It iz a very lovely environment."

Ba'ar nods, "Do you remember what it was like where you came from? "

DaemonNuit says, "Aye, it vas very thick vith trees. I had a castle vith many who lived vith me. It snowed a lot and vas dark often."

Ba'ar nods, "You had a castle? Were you some kind of ruler?"

DaemonNuit nods, "In a vay, aye. I vas and am a most powerful Necromancer, among other things. "

DaemonNuit says, "I vould say I had more of a following than that I vas a ruler."

Ba'ar growls, "I see, so what's a typical day like for you-or is there one?

DaemonNuit chuckles low in his throat, "No, I vould not say that my days are typical. My day, more often than not, begins at night. I usually make time for magical practices and tending my sheep.

Ba'ar nods, "What magic or magics do you practice? Portals still?"

DaemonNuit nods, "Aye, portals, illusions, necromancy, simple things and the more complex, teleportation, shadows...I do my best to know about every type of magic that comes across my desk.

Ba'ar smiles, "What has working with magic taught you?"

DaemonNuit smiles also, "Patience...a great deal ov patience. It has also opened my eyes to all sorts of different cultures and uses for magery. "

Ba'ar growls, "If there was one thing you could change about Spindizzy, what would it be?"

DaemonNuit hmms thoughtfully, "I do not think there iz anything I vould change...I find that it iz a very cozy place, I like it how it iz at the moment.

Ba'ar nods, "Who do you admire the most?"

DaemonNuit says, "Morticon for his evil genius and incredible persistence. He doesn't give up, that one. Also, Stephen King, a horror mastermind and an amazing writer."

Ba'ar nods, "Are you now or would you want to be a member of the SED?"

DaemonNuit says, "I am an actively inactive body guard for the SED."

DaemonNuit has been type cast. :)

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the least?"

DaemonNuit hmms, "Those that are all talk and do not do. Those without honor.

DaemonNuit says, "No any vone person."

Ba'ar growls, "Is there a secret fact or desire about you that would surprise our readers?"

DaemonNuit has a soft spot for small creatures.

Ba'ar nods, "In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

DaemonNuit says, "I offer my favorite quote, "Be good and you will be lonesome, be lonesome and you will be free. Live a lie and you will live to regret it...That's what living is to me." "

Ba'ar nods, "Good advice that. With that in mind, that concludes our interview. Again Daemon, thanks!"

DaemonNuit smiles and bows, "Thank You, Ba'ar."

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
Why do male kangaroos and wallabys have pouches?
- Roo

Dear Roo:
So they can share in the joey raising duties!

Dear Bearing Up:
I hear that Argon's planning on going into politics. Is this true?
- Mavra

Dear Mavra:
Sure is. He's sure to make a good DARK HORSE candidate.

Dear Bearing Up:
How do you get rid of an annoying houseguest?

Dear MIL:
Play loud music until he or she leaves.

Dear Bearing Up:
How do you get rid of an annoying houseguest?

Dear MIL:
Play loud music until he or she leaves.

Dear Bearing Up:
Angelbear's a big tall bear. How can he fly??
- Skyler

Dear Skyler:
Because he takes himself LIGHTLY!

Dear Bearing Up:
What's Windows Vista?
- Gates

Dear Gates:
A program that's twice as big and twice as buggy as its predecessor Windows XP!

Weekly Survey

Ba'arGreetings all, Ba'ar here with the Spindizzy @Action news survey for this week. How many other MUCKS/MUSHes/MOOS is your character on?"

  • Alfie says, "I think this MUCK is the only place I have my character at the moment. Oh, and Furtoonia, but I forgot my password there."
  • Argon says, "I'm on three mucks, SpinDizzy, which I consider "home", Furry Muck, which was the first muck I was ever on, Mavra brought me there, and Unbridaled Desires, which is a sort of "equine" muck for centaurs, pegusi, anthro horses, etc. UD is a bit too..."
  • The_Antiraccoon gruffs, "Zero."
  • Borris Gruffs, "None, Borris lives Here!"
  • Gina_Doberman says, "Other than here, just FurryMuck!"
  • Scribbles squeeks, "3 are ones I'm actually active on. 10 out of the 13 are one's I'm not really on much anymore."
  • Logan says, "This pup is actively present on about three or four, and inactively present on a number of others."
  • NeverNever is Active on 3 others, semi-active on 2.
  • Tanuki barks, "That answer used to be three or four I think, but now the answer is zero, or one if you count logging in but not really playing."
  • Leowulf says, "I have 7 that I go back to regularly, and have friends on."

Caption Photo


Caption Photo
  • "Furry Con attendees should pay careful attention to signs of inadequate hygiene, such as your arms refusing to go anywhere near your armpits any more." - Gilead
  • "Ben Gay will cure those varicose veins. " - Argon
  • "THRILLERRRRRR!" - Gina_doberman
  • "Gina took the word right out of my mouth." - PatchO'Black
  • "I'm going to suck your blood! But look on the plus side, I'm not going to make you log onto Furcadia afterwards." - The_Antiraccoon
  • "Wallop!" - Borris
  • "AROOOOOO!" - Nevernever

The Doze Garden

This isn't really a cartoon but the polar bear holding a teddy bear reminded me of Borris. Plus the candy bar was given to me by a friend who went to Alaska on her vacation so it really is from "The Arctic".

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Ba'ar, Findra, or Skyler about it.

@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News