@ Action News

Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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Leslie Paints Amuck for Easter

Leslie, Bunny Fairy is back at the Rose Garden for the Easter holiday. With the return of Leslie, so also continues a yearly practice of fancying up Spindizzy. The pact has occurred for as many years as Leslie can remember. As of this year a number of decorations are now complete.

A number of different eggs are painted with various colours, shapes and designs. These mysterious eggs are secured throughout the muck. Leslie’s favorite egg this year has three bands of color, yellow blue and green. The bands of this one egg are cut off so it is not even with the egg shape. When this egg is turned the green band seems to go up and down and up again, ad infintum.

Leslie after running out of eggs started decorating critters as well. The current folks that are now designed and colored include Roofus Roo and Lou. Leslie insures unlike eggs, that indivudals are intended to show off, rather than be hidden. During this time the bunny fairy offers to paint anyone up for the holidays. Leslie gets a joy at making everything cute and pretty. She uses her magical wand to color and create designs on the individual. As far as can be seen the magical effects by Leslie are only temporary, so feel free to get some colors, stripes, spots and stars for the holiday.

People painting!

We didn't have eggs to paint in the garden Friday night so we started out painting people instead. Roofus Roo the balloon kangaroo was the first, and that was kind of an accident because I was thinking hard and made a purple ribbon all around on him. But he liked that so I put some green loops on his chest and made his nose sparkling silver, and a ring of blue diamonds on his left leg, plus some gold spots all over and red stars on his wrists.

Kefan the centaur didn't paint eggs, not because it's something centaurs don't do but because he doesn't live near his family and he doesn't celebrate Easter. But they weren't the same he said, ever "since my great aunt passed away. She did designs in wax on them, and got colors the likes of which I've never seen anywhere else." They weren't wax eggs, they were Wax design. She'd put a wax design on the shells, so that the dye wouldn't stick to some parts. To this day, I don't know how. Not the crazy-complicated ones like Ukrainian /pysanky/. It was a Polish method." He said it was kind of like these. Mr Kefan said he had to go to bed and said he better go before I started painting an Eas-taur egg

Vixie the fox didn't want to be painted but did want to get something chocolate, so we made a chocolate glove on her front paw. That was okay as long as it was "yummy" chocolate. Lou the civet was harder to figure out what colors it likes, but I tried starting with five little gold ellipses in a loop on its head and Lou went "vitvit" which is usually good. We had to repaint Lou 'cause the first time wore off. This time Lou's got bright blue polka dots all over with silvery spots, and little stars added all over the place after that too. Lou really likes that. Then I tried making some loops of blue and green and purple and red around its belly, and Lou seemed like it liked it. Then a purple sparkle-rimmed diamond on its chest, and sparkly green stars on its hindlegs, and it was really happy I think.

Gilead the otter came by right before I had to go to bed, so we just only had time to but a loop of green spots all around his belly. And he said he had something funny happen at the zoo, where I was talking to a friend at the end of the Zoo Brew event, and the husband of another friend came over to talk too. And from where we were standing, it looked like his wife suddenly started kissing a big Mexican guy across the other side of the roadway. But it was just perspective. His wife was actually chugging a mug of beer, and the Mexican guy was actually kissing his boyfriend, who was shorter than the guy's wife, so we couldn't see him on the other side, because they were perfectly lined up."

Sleeping centaur misses goings on

Argon, local centaur and editor of @Action News has found himself falling asleep standing up in the Rose Garden. The "Horse-like but not like a horse" individual often goes on and on on how he is different from a horse, and is embarassed when he ends up asleep on his hooves.

A combination of reasons have conspired to cause this effect, so in a few weeks or perhaps less Ba'ar, Associate Editor of @Action News has been asked to take over publication of the paper temporarily. Argon expects circumstances to change in the near future which will allow him to resume his duties. Certianly in time for @Action New's 300th issue.

The well known centaur will still be around, and checking e-mail at argon@spindizzy.org Once Ba'ar takes over, I'll make sure it's well known through the paper and via the Bulletin Board.

Alternate energy gets a debate

Friday they got a debate about alternate energy in the Rose Garden, at least according to Routers who's a sort of ball of light energy that says it reports the news "when the fancy strikes me. Really if it weren't for me I don't know how you would circulate data." Some of the people there Routers said were Argon, Borris, Lou, Tanuki, and Tottle, though some people got upset by the conversation. Routers said, "Let's see, they talked about oil industry, hydromechanical engines, nuclear power, the shortsightedness of folks."

It started Routers thought because someone talked about how the cost of gas was making it hard to travel. They didn't know where it was the energy from Spindizzy comes from either, but Routers said "folks seem to realize that we take things for granted."

Portia asks what you like?

Portia the red panda started up a survey to find out what are the kinds of things people like to do so that we can do more of them and everybody can have a good time when they visit! It's in the voting booth, you can just go and type in 'vote' from anywhere in the city and pick number 20, "What would YOU like to see more of on SpinDizzy?", and it's got options of Silly Events, Serious Events, General Role Play, Performance Events, Contests/Competitions, and Nothing because everything's fine like it is.

You can still vote so you probably should!

Weird e-mail

As a centaur and having a web site about centaurs, I often get strange e-mail. Not just the usual stuff from The former Finance Director of an oil firm in Gorstanaramastan or penny zinc stocks, or the laughable (for a centaur,) "body part" enlargement pills but communiqués such as this:

From: X. XxXXXXX
To: argon@centaursite.com

08:37 PM 4/15/2006
hello argon and mavra.Whats your adress.I just woke up and BAM. a black horse body replacs my lower body and my torso is in the horses head space.i cant even move these other legs.Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I answered:

Don't worry, you'll get used to it. The rear equine legs are equivalent to your human legs. The equine forelegs are like a new set of arms. Think of it in these terms and you'll do fine.

Neither Mavra or I give out our address. As centaurs, a lot of people express interest in us in ways we prefer not to deal with. E-mail works fine.

If you have researched the Internet, you're aware that Chiron, one of the most famous centaurs, was a teacher. To honor his work, and the good name he gave centaurs, most of us try to spell correctly and capitalize our correspondence properly. As a centaur now, you might consider following his example.

Good luck with your new form, and thank you for your interest in centaursite.com


How to Go Through a Looking Glass

With the present holiday almost upon us, numerous bunnies are out and about performing their official duties. While many of these bunnies are responsible for the distribution of decorated gallinaceous ova, others have more courtly duties. These may be distinguished by their more terse demeanor, rushing around, and carrying of a pocketwatch.

If you see a bunny with a pocketwatch, you may be tempted to follow. While such a trip can lead you on many fine adventures (and many more trips if you happen to encounter a caterpillar), some care is in order. It's not so much the threats of decapitation; not only is the Queen a moron, but her soldiers can be knocked over like cards. The real danger is that official rabbits with pocketwatches tend to take shortcuts through looking glasses, and that can cause injury if you don't know how to do it.

Looking glasses, more commonly known as mirrors, appear to be hard surfaces. As rabbits and girls named Alice know, however, that is only appearance. In reality, looking glasses are portals that link nearby universes, at locations in which actions in both universes almost exactly match, only generally in reverse. For example, if you find a looking glass, and touch your finger to it, it will feel like glass. However, you will also notice that the alternate universe version of you is there, looking back at you. That is where the term "looking glass" came from; a glassy feel, and you looking back at you. The reason for this glassy feel is that every time you put your finger on the looking glass, so does the alternate universe reverse you, and at exactly the same spot. Because this reverse you has exactly the opposite pawprints, the fit between your paws is perfect, and the points of contact feel perfectly smooth. And no matter where you put your finger, the reverse you's finger will be there too.

That also means that if you suddenly run into a looking glass, while following a rabbit, you will smack right into the reverse you, and get bloodied. That's not a good outcome, not the least reason being that while you are off getting stitches, the rabbit will get away.

In order to pass through a looking glass, there are two methods. One assumes that the alternate universe you, like you, wants to chase a rabbit by going through the looking glass. Your best bet, then, is to lean against the looking glass and twist sideways one way, and then the alternate universe you will twist the other way, and you'll slip past each other through the looking glass. It is usually helpful to lubricate yourself so you can slide past each other. 0.1% lysurgic acid diethylamide dissolved in dimethylsulfoxide makes a perfect lubricant and usually helps you slip through the looking glass quite easily that way.

Some people (and all otters) find the need for such lubricants off-putting, presumably because they don't want their fur greasy, what with greasy fur being a life-threatening condition for otters and some other species. The alternative method makes no assumptions about the alternate universe you, except that it is you, just in an alternate universe. Because you can be tricked, the alternate universe you can be tricked. The trick is, you just have to trick yourself. So what you want to do is touch your right fingers to the fingers of the alternate universe you, and quickly move your hand to your left side. Your alternate universe reverse you will surely follow, and move his fingers to keep touching yours. Repeat that about a thousand times, until the alternate universe you is really bored. Then on the thousandth and one time, instead of moving your hand to your left, instead move it right, and jump head-first right into the looking glass before the alternate universe reverse you figures out what's going on. He'll have moved one way, and you'll have tricked him and gone through when he moved out of your way. There's no time for thinking or hesitation; if you want to pull it off, you have to jump with all your might right then and there, head first, through the looking glass. The process of passing between universes (which are much bigger than galaxies!) will of course result in the appearance of many stars before your eyes. That's normal. After the stars clear, you will find yourself on the other side of the looking glass, and can have your many adventures there. Just be aware that at some point, you'll get sleepy, and the alternate universe you, mad that you tricked him, will sneak up on you, beat you up, and push you back through the looking glass. He may also be so mad he'll break the looking glass. That's why afterwards you wake up sititng in front of the broken looking glass, with lots of blood on your head. However, while the alternate universe you may beat you up, he can't take away your memories of the adventures you had with the bunny you were chasing, and perhaps some other bunnies and their mercury-addled friends, badly in need of Thorazine. And remember, those official bunnies and insane hares have the BEST eggs, so you'll definitely want to go.

Findra, Local Rabbit as Easter Bunny?

Findra Bunny

Veterans of Spindizzy have speculated for years about Findra, local bunny, having a second life as Peter Cottontail, the Easter Bunny. Those in the know point to the facts that said bunny is rarely seen in person, especially the week before Easter and is gone completely on Easter Morning. Veterans also point to the fact that when Findra is seen she's unusually observant, as if making notes on who's good and who isn't. When asked about possibly being the famed lapine of the holiday, Findra responded by saying. "Whilst many people have speculated on my resemblance to the Easter Bunny, it would be inappropriate for me to give credence or otherwise to those rumours, on advisement from the Department of Homeland Security."

Gilead's Bunny Punnies

Q: How do rabbits start out Easter mornings?
A: At the crack of dawn, they hop out of bed.

Q: What next?
A: They hop to it and get to work delivering eggs.

Q: How do they keep it up all day?
A: They get all hopped up on energy drinks.

Q: What did the bunny do when he couldn't hear the TV program he was watching?
A: He adjusted his rabbit ears.

Q: Why do bunnies deliver chocolate easter eggs?
A: To kill the foxes.

Q: What do you call rabbit twins with DDD cups, who worship Jesus?
A: Hot Cross Buns.

Q: What do you call a very soft bunny between the ages of 13 and 19?
A: A Velvet Teen Rabbit.

Q: What do you call a movie about a plush bunny who wins horse races?
A: National Velveteen Rabbit.

Q: What is the natural predator of Peeps (tm)?
A: Marshmallow Yerfs (tm).

Q: How is Easter celebrated in the ocean?
A: Sea Hares go around hiding baskets of fake algae with caviar on top.

Q: What delivers rattlesnake eggs to all the good little cubs in Arizona?
A: The Easter Jackalope.

Q: Why do New World bunnies make good bureaucrats?
A: They're used to filling out a form every night.

In Step With: Tottle


This week we chat with Tottle, local rabbit.

Tottle has arrived.

Ba'ar smiles "Hello Hello Tottle and thanks for helping me do the interview."

Tottle smiles. "No problem. I'm ready when you are." :):)

Ba'ar smiles, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Tottle says, "Not all that long. Three or four years is all."

Ba'ar nods, "What brought you to Spindizzy?"

Tottle says, "I heard about it over on Raccoon MUCK, and decided to see what all the good talk was about."

Ba'ar nods, "I see. Now then, I see you're a two headed rabbit. Were you born that way? If not, how did you get 'the other head' as it were?"

Tottle says, "No, I wasn't born this way. I was assisting a group of friends trying to find ways to counter the actions of the SED, and one of the experimental machines malfunctioned. I woke up like this the next morning."

Ba'ar growls, "Was it hard to adjust with your new second head?"

Tottle shakes his heads. "Not too hard. I was a fan of multi-headed critters before it happened, so that might have helped me cope."

Ba'ar nods, "What are the advantages of having two heads?"

Tottle thinks a minute. "I get to see more of what's going on, or at least more of it at once. Holding a couple conversations at once can be fun, too." :):)

Ba'ar nods, "What are the disadvantages of having two heads?"

Tottle says, "Headaches, for one. Luckily they've all been fairly mild so far. Another one is that people sometimes think there's two of me."

Ba'ar chuckles, "How do you keep 'things straight' as it were with two heads-your sense of direction for example?"

Tottle says, "By paying attention to how my shoulders are set. That's perpendicular to 'forward' for me. Keeping this in mind lets me turn my heads in opposite directions without getting dizzy. :):)"

Ba'ar nods, "How do you arrive at decisions with two brains rather than one?"

Tottle rubs under his left head's chin. "There hasn't been any real conflict so far. I did all my growing up before I got the second head, so I'm pretty sure it's just me in here."

Ba'ar nods, "Fair enough. Now then, what's a typical day like for you-or is there?"

Tottle says, "My days are fairly quiet. Typically I putter around the apartment and do odd jobs. Despite my appearance, my life's dull."

Ba'ar nods, "So who do you admire the most-in Spindizzy or otherwise?"

Tottle says, "Hmm, that's a tough one. One of the folks I admire is Beltrami. Despite being mute, she's one of the most social and active people around here. Other people might see an inability to talk as a handicap, but it doesn't even slow her down."

Ba'ar nods, "So who do you admire the least-again in Spindizzy or otherwise?"

Tottle chuckles. "Anybody who sees political or economic or physical power as an excuse to act like a spoiled brat."

Ba'ar growls, "What would you change about Spindizzy if you had your druthers?"

Tottle says, "I don't think I'd change anything. I've never really thought about it, so I must not have any complaints. :):)"

Ba'ar nods. "Me neither. Do you have any plans for the future?"

Tottle chuckles softly. "No, I don't. I just take each day as it comes."

Ba'ar growls, "Speaking of the future, if you had a chance to have your other head removed some time along the way, would you do so?"

Tottle's heads look at each other, then ask in stereo, "Which one's my 'other' head?" :):)

Ba'ar grins, "I take it you're so used to your 'other' head by now, you don't even think about it. I'd say the answer is 'no."

Tottle's right head continues, "Exactly. Since I woke up with two heads one morning, I couldn't even tell you which one's the 'original' and which one isn't."

Ba'ar smiles, "So what secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Tottle says, "It might surprise some folks to hear that I'd like to be a raccoon every now and then."

Ba'ar nods, "So in closing do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Tottle thinks that over... "Don't be afraid of change. Many times, even a radical change can be made into something good."

Ba'ar grins, "You're proof of that, I trust."

Tottle chuckles. "Maybe."

Ba'ar growls, "With that in mind, that concludes our interview. Again Tottle, thanks."

Tottle bows, then gives Ba'ar a four-armed hug. "My pleasure." :):)

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
What would you want from the Easter Bunny?
- Rabbit

Dear Rabbit:
The biggest plush rabbit available.

Dear Bearing Up:
What's the ultimate answer to everything?
- Adams

Dear Adams:

Dear Bearing Up:
What's better? Windows Vista or Linux?
- B. Gates

Dear B. Gates:
Neither! Amiga OS!

Dear Bearing Up:
What do you think about the Red Baron?
- Manfred

Dear Manfred:
I think he makes a GREAT frozen pizza.

Dear Bearing Up:
What would improve the new Rose Garden?
- SD

Dear SD:
A control that would enable me to bring the old Rose Garden back.

Weekly Survey

Ba'ar Hi gang, Ba'ar here with the Spindizzy @Action News Survey for this week. What would you like The Easter Bunny to deliver to you this year?

  • Borris Gruffs, "Winning Lottery Tickets, for enough money I can retire from the world!"
  • Tzolkin softly squeaks, "A peaceful life..."
  • Gilead chirps, "Lots and lots of tamago and ikura and tobiko!"
  • Kefan says, "I'll settle for Belgian dark chocolates. I don't think the Easter Bunny stocks what I'd *really* like."
  • Mouser peers up at Ba'ar and hisses, "You have to ask a weasel what he wants from an egg-carrying rabbit?"
  • Angel_bear says,"I want the Easter Bunny to deliver me a car. A small one. I'm not picky. Just so it runs."
  • Argon says, "More chocolate than even Vixie could eat!"
  • Mavra says, "No, wait... make that a chocolate-shelled candy filled with 40-proof, chocolate-cream nougat."
  • Nesta says, "I'd like an everlasting box of peeps, and a chocolate marshmallow gazelle!"
  • Than says, "I want lots and lots of chocolate candy an' chocolate bunnies an' chocolate eggs, and an easter egg hunt for Easter!"

This week in History

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

The Doze Garden

Auditions for "King Kong" went as well as could be expected.

Doze Garden Cartoon

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, or Ba'ar about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News

Thanks! Ba'ar, Associate Editor @Action News