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Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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SpinDizzy Celebrates Christmas

Mavra gives Morticon a smooch

As is usual this time of year, SpinDizzy was in the "Christmas Spirit". Although not everyone is a "Christian", the fun and good fellowship of the seasone was evident all around.

The signs were apparent to all. The Ancient Oak was giving out "Christmassy snacks," The 2005 SpinDizzy Christmas tree was in the Rose Garden, and there was the traditional "Decorating of the wallaby" ceremony.

This took place Friday night in the Rose Garden. Although Suri, local lemur usually officiates at this event, she was unavailable this year. Her cousin, Phoobia, was still recovering at the Madagascar Secret Memorial Hospital after a mishap in her gravity research studies, and Suri was called to her side. A chance visit by Morticon, local wallaby to the Rose Garden, was the chance folks were waiting for and soon, the decorating started.

Strands of lights and tinsel soon had the wallaby immobilised and as other ornaments wre added, Morticon began to look quite festive. As a sprig of mistletoe was hung between his ears, Mavra, local centaur asked him to pucker up for a smooch.

Although Morticon's dislike for centaurs made his struggle to avoid being kissed by one, he couldn't resist the allure of a lovely female, centaur or not, and puckered up. It was suggested that Portia, local red panda should have seen this, so as cameras were made ready, Mavra bit the bullet and kissed Morticon again.

Debate as to whether Morticon's nervousness came from kissing Mavra, or having Portia find out he had been kissing other females wasn't resolved, but cameras snapped as Morti again puckered up and kissed Mavra.

Argon, local centaur and husband of Mavra offered his wife some Listerine after the deed was done. Morticon, appalled at being seen enjoying a kiss from a centaur broke free of the decorations and hopped off. Hopefully, he won't be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. It is also hoped Portia won't be too tough on him for his inability to avoid temptation.

Gina Doberman to be a mom

Gina Doberman, local Doberman and rock and roll star, annouced this week that she is expecting. Apparently there was a lot of snuggling earlier this year as she joins DTF, local wolf, and Nesta, local lion, in announcing they are expecting families.

Gina has named Darius as the father, although the ferret seems a bit shy about admitting it. But congratulations to Gina and Darius are in order. A very nice Christmas gift for them both!

Austin remains nocturnal

Austin Dern, local semirabbit elastic coati, has been visting the "night shift" on SpinDizzy the last few days. Although visiting at night is normal for him, his usual location is night when it's day at the location of the SpinDizzy server. SpinDizzy time mirrors time at the location of the server.

Austin seems to have adapted well, and is still visiting with his loyal mate, Aushae, local dragoness, and other members of their extended family. Although different folk are "regulars" on the different shifts. Some are able to visit both day and night, others find they are limited to one shift or the other. So the night shift has a different personality than the day's.

The coati even noted how the jokes, conversations and interactions differ between the shifts. Not that either was better than the other, just entertaining in different ways.

Rumor has it that Austin will be returning to the Day Shift soon. But having him visit the Night Shift has been fun. The Night shift too enjoys a change of pace once in a while, and Austin's presence is a pleasant one.

Group loses their A's

A chance meeting of a group of folks in the Balloon fields resulted in a mystery. It started with the arrival of Findra, local bunny, as he entered the area, she wved!

As other folks started speaking, it was found that the A's were no longer in the Balloon Fields. The conversation become somewhat confusing as folks found the words they were syaing, and things they were doing had no A's in them. It was suggested that other letters could be substituted, but this led to even further confusion.

A search party was organised, and once leaving the Balloon Fields, the A's returned. This was true of everyplace except the Balloon Fields making the lack of A's a localised occurance.

As of press time it was reported that the A's had returned to the Balloon Fields. No report has been made to @Action News as to the reason for their absence,

Argon off

Argon is planning to be out of town next weekend so is turning the paper to his trusted associate, Ba'ar. Argon hopes to leave Thursday the 29th. and return the 2nd of 2006.

If you wish to contribute to the paper next week, or have "leads" for Ba'ar, please contact him at baar.bear@gmail.com


Gilead's Gift of Puns, All Sales Final, No Returns or Exchanges

Q: How do Jewish cows celebrate the holidays?
A: Every night they light another candle atop their manure-a.

Q: Who makes presents for the good aliens?
A: Santa's little ALFs.

Q: Why should you carry an umbrella on Christmas Eve?
A: Eight tiny, raining deer.

Q: Who was planning to use Santa's sleigh to take over the world?
A: A Braindeer.

Q: How did the cat react when she found out the vet botched her spay?
A: She had kittens, I'll tell you what!

Q: What do bulls do for Christmas?
A: Put up a chimney by the stockyards with care.

Q: What does a naughty canary get for Christmas?
A: Entry into a coal mine.

Q: Who makes the eels an otter gets for Christmas?
A: Santa's little elvers.

Q: What do you call a Golden Retriever that you shoot on Christmas?
A: Ol' Yule-er.

Q: How do tanuki celebrate the holidays?
A: They decorate pine trees with big, festive balls.

Q: What does a scallop mother say when her spawn ask for Red Ryder Carbine Action BB Guns With A Compass And A Thing That Tells Time In The Stock?
A: You'll shoot hundreds of your eyes out!

Q: Who refused to give presents to kids because personal property just keeps the workers down?
A: Rudolph, The Red Reindeer.

Q: Where do presents for Taun-Tauns come from?
A: Santa's Rebel Workshop at the Hoth Pole.

Q: What do naughty girls get for Christmas?
A: Coal. Highly pressurized, transformed coal. Transparent, sparkly, highly pressurized, transformed coal.

Q: What did the Three Wise Tods give to their savior for his birthday?
A: Food, Foxy scents, and Mrrrr.

Q: What's a jellyfish's favorite holiday tune?
A: Carol of the Bells.

Q: What's a squirrel's favorite holiday tune?
A: All Sorts Of Nuts Hidden In A Closed-Up Tree, Hibernating Head-To-Toe... o/~

Q: Who brings presents to all the good little boy and girl rodents once a year?
A: Santa Gnaws.

Q: Who brings holiday cheer to Christopher Robbin?
A: Mr. Winnie, the Christmas Pooh.

Q: why are British mouse spies happy on Christmas Eve?
A: Not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse--so their martinis always come out shaken by default.

Q: Why did the Arcitc Fox cub sleep with a smile on his muzzle?
A: He was always dreaming of a white Christmas.

Q: Why did the inexperienced cub run screaming from Seagull Claus at the mall?
A: He was having nightmares of a white Christmas present on his head.

The Night Before Christmas - Spindizzy Style

The Night Before Christmas - Spindizzy Style
(With the usual apologies to Sir Clement Moore)

(Author's note. This is my Christmas gift to all of you. Thanks for making Spindizzy such a wonderful and special place to play!)

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Spindizzy,
the residents were working hard to make things pretty.

Brenda and Austin were in the Rose Garden, trimming the tree,
while Ping and Findra skated on the frozen fountain, happy as could be.

Argon and Mavra, local centaurs, were taking it slow,
spending 'quality time' under the mistletoe.

Ba'ar bear and his son Jason were sleeping snug in their beds,
dreaming of the Christmas wonders that lay ahead.

Vixie, meanwhile was in bed moaning away,
(she'd eaten too many chocolates earlier that day.

While in SED HQ evil plans were underway,
Morti and company had planned to steal Santa's sleigh!

Morti rallied the ninjas, "Men, you must be quick on your paws,
in order to successfully steal the toys from under Santa Paws!"

In the park Leslie Rabbit suddently gasped and pointed at the sky!
"Look! Santa Paws has decided to drop by!"

Quick as a wink, Santa Paws and his sleigh came,
driven by his 8 tiny reindeer of fame.

To the delight of the entire Spindizzy town,
in the Rose Garden the sleigh did touch down.

Santa Paws jumped out, quick as a wink,
up to the citizens he did slink.

He was a big round bear, dressed in furs of white and red,
and had a big furry hat covering his head.

The Spindizzians had nothing to fear.
He had sparkling eyes and a grin from ear to ear.

"Folks," he said. "It is for a reason I have come here.
I want to spread lots of Christmas cheer!"

Just as he started unloading his sleigh,
the SED Ninjas appeared, blocking his way.

"Santa," they said, "turn over your presents to us,
or we'll give you SUCH A FUSS!"

But wily Santa Paws knew exactly what to do,
He whistled for his helper-elves that were experts in kung fu!

The battle did not last long, and soon laying around,
were the ninjas, unconcious on the ground.

With safety assured, Patch O'Black proved the best,
serving Marshmellows and Marshmellons to the Spindizzy guests.

With his belly sated, Santa turned to his sleigh,
saying "Let's see what I have for each Spindizzyian today!"

He then began passing out gifts,
knowing how much the Spindizzians would enjoy their lift.

Even the SEDers received something., (though it wasn't shocking,
that each had received coal in their stockings).

Santa Paws took off (having spread his cheer),
saying "Merry Christmas to all, and I'll see you next year!"

In Step With: Persephone


This week, we chat with Persephone, local mink.

Persephone has arrived.

Ba'ar growls, "Hello Persephone, and thank you for helping me out with this interview."

Persephone says, "Oh, no problem mister Ba'ar."

Ba'ar smiles, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Persephone says, "Well, I've been here since early 2002, but I haven't really started hanging around until just recently."

Ba'ar growls, "What drew you to us in the first place? How did you find out about us?"

Persephone says, "Originally, I heard about SD a long, long time ago, when I was invited to attend Mavra and Argon's wedding. That was quite a few lifetimes ago, though. The reason I finally came here was to follow Morticon."

Ba'ar growls, "Morticon? What attracts you to him? What does he have to offer you?"

Persephone grins. "I never said I was -attracted- to him. What I really want is to defeat him, so he'll just be a -good- little Walaby. Plus, he owes me a new android.

Ba'ar growls, "So you're an agent? Do you consider yourself to be a 'taurist'?"

Persephone says, "I guess 'agent' would be a good thing to call it... And I suppose I -am- a 'taurist, in that I'm on the side of the Centaurs. Really, I'm against specisism/racism of any kind. We should all just learn to get along."

Ba'ar nods, "I agree...So then...What's a typical day like for you-or is there such a thing to you?"

Persephone says, "Well, most days are fairly typical, I guess. Wake up to a big bowl of Choco-Mink-Crunch cereal and head to the Rose Garden to see what trouble I can get into."

Ba'ar winks at Persephone, "Trouble? I thought you were on the side of the 'goods'?"

Persephone blinks. "Did I say trouble? I meant to say 'see what the good citizens of SD are up to'. Yeah." ;)

Ba'ar chuckles, "So who do you admire the most?"

Persephone says, "Admire the most... Hmmm. I'd have to say Argon. He lets all those hairbrained schemes roll right off of his shoulders. I'd have to admire Morty second-most, for coming up with said hairbrained schemes in the first place. "

Ba'ar smiles, "So who do you admire the least?"

Persephone hums. "Does it have to be someone I know here?"

Ba'ar shakes his head, "It can be anyone you want."

Persephone rubs her chin a bit. "Then I'd have to say that it's anyone who's ever participated in Reality Television that I admire the least." She nods.

Ba'ar grins, "If you could change ONE THING about Spindizzy...what would you change?"

Persephone says, "Absolutely nothing! Out of all the worlds I've visited, SD is by far the best. Everyone is friendly."

Ba'ar nods, "So do you have any plans for the future?"

Persephone says, "To survive winter until it gets warm again! And to become more involved around here. The RPS game was a lot of fun."

Ba'ar nods,"What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Persephone says, "Secret fact: Despite what Morty says, I'm not in a cult. ;)"

Persephone says, "But that's not really surprising, I guess. As far as desires go, there aren't any of those that would surprise people either. I'm just me."

Ba'ar nods, "I see...now then..one more question before we go....Do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Persephone says, "Wisdom, wisdom... Lift with your legs, not with your back."

Ba'ar nods "Good advice. With that in mind, that concludes our interview. Again, thanks for helping me out."

Persephone says, "Always happy to help the local journalists. ^.^"

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
What do lemurs like for Christmas?
- King Kuri

Dear King Kuri:
Copies of the movie Madagascar!

Dear Bearing Up:
What's a good Christmas present for a good friend who is a bear?
- Boo Boo

Dear Boo Boo:
A year's supply of honey!

Dear Bearing Up:
What should I get the lovely Mavra for Christmas?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
I think you're the best gift she can get.

Dear Bearing Up:
Is it wrong to laugh at Morticon for getting beat by the centaurs at rock, paper, scissors while it's Christmas?
- Hi Enya

Dear Hi Enya:
Sure! We all need a good laugh this time of year-or any time of year for that matter.

Dear Bearing Up:
How can I get the PCers off our backs and the CHRISTMAS back in MERRY CHRISTMAS?
- Santa Paws

Dear Santa Paws:
Tell them to take a 'chill pill' and celebrate the holiday come what may!

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to baar.bear@gmail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Ba'ar Hi gang! Ba'ar here with the Spindizzy @Action News Survey for this week. This week's is...what present would you most like to find under your Christmas tree on Christmas morning?

  • Nesta says "For the survey: I'd like to find all 7 books of Narnia... I'm hooked on the stuff now!"
  • Argon says, "I'd like to to find the lovely Mavra under my tree!"
  • Rjia says, "Christmas morning, I'd like to find a nice warm blanket under my tree. I've been a bit cold as of late."
  • Persephone says, "Well, Morticon all tied up under the tree and ready to be imprisoned would be nice. But I'd settle for a box of Mink Snax. ;)"
  • DTF ponders "Keys to a new house.... or a male fawn Dane pup."
  • Rown hhhms, "Guess I'd just like to have some company for Christmas."
  • Gina_Doberman says, "A laptop!"
  • Tarka says, "Ba'ar--- A pile of loot that was recently stolen from someone... but untraceable to me."

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

The Doze Garden

What the rare "bad" raccoon gets for Christmas. A double punishment as coal isn't shiny.

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News