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Argon -- Editor

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Judge Adara's Authority Questioned

Morticon, local Wallaby, again tried to use the loosley based legal system of SpinDizzy as an end to his own means. In this attempt, he asked Sakura, local Human to act as 'judge' in his own Kangaroo Court. His charge in this unrecognised forum, was that Adara, local morphic Feline, and occaisional Judge of public disputes was prejudiced against him and should be replaced.

This 'hearing' was held in the local Courtroom, and Sakura took the bench from which Judge Adara usually presides. To start the trial, Morticon called DaemonNuit, local Panther to the stand as a witness for the procecution. Morticon's questioning of DaemonNuit went as follows;

Morticon says, "Daemon, have you seen Adara around before?"
DaemonNuit says, "Aye, I have."
Morticon says, "Did you know she was a judge?"
DaemonNuit says, "Aye."
Morticon says, "Have you been to one of her court cases?"
DaemonNuit says, "Aye."
Morticon says, "Do you believe she is unfair and biased?"
DaemonNuit thinks a moment. Then he nods. "A bit, aye."
Morticon grins! "No further questions. You're done"
Morticon says, "One final thing"
DaemonNuit nods and steps down,. He stops. "Aye?"
Morticon says, "Proof that she is not fit to judge.. she had to reverse her decision on centaurs being furries and make a new statement saying they are in between. I'm done, your honor."
DaemonNuit ohs and goes back to his seat.
Sakura says, "Daemon, you may step down and get me a cherry pepsi."

Sakura then asked, "Who is the defense?, I'm waiting for the defense's opening statement." Argon said that he would be happy to act as defense, but expected Adara to defend herself, at which point Sakura said, "Argon. You are the court-appointed defender."

Sakura bangs her gavel. "Defend."

Adara then whispered to me that by defending herself, she would have to cast dispersions on Morticon's character and would appear biased against him if he appeared before her as Judge in the future. I then took up the challenge by saying, "My first question to you then, would be 'Who named you Judge'?"
Morticon uh-ohed.
Sakura smiles brightly. "There needed to be an third party who was relatively unknown to all SpinDizzians. So I was the most likely choice.
Argon addressed the 'gathering', "Adara offered her services to act as 'unofficial judge' in mitigating disagreements amoung SpinDizzians. She was never 'officially' recognised, yet her services in that capacity have been accepted and, with only one exception, "Argon looked at the Plantiff, "...been accepted. In that capacity, she has served the residents well, and there has only been one individual, Morticon, who seems unhappy with the judgements she hands down. In addition, Morticon has himself brought cases before Adara. By doing so, he has shown he recognises her authority in this capacity. His only reason for bringing this 'case' before an unrecognised, and unproven person as 'judge' is that he has lost every case he has been involved in."

Argon continued, "He mentioned the 'Centaurs are Furry', decision that Adara made and then changed. A good Judge will change their opinion when new evidence is brought before them. And I put forward that Morticon is again, as he has done numerous times before Judge Adara, bringing forth another frivolous lawsuit. And doing so with a judge he has hand picked. This case and it's decision cannot be recognised for that reason alone." Morticon stood up, tensed, saying, "Objection!"

Argon finished by saying, "I move that this case be dismissed due to conflict of interest between the Plantif and 'Judge'."

Sakura then ruled, saying, "Argon, you are being extraordinarily rude. You chose to speak first, and stick a furry foot in your face. I don't necessarily like Morticon, I've found him to be a mean, rude, evil, and sometimes shallow wallaby. But your entire case is based on the idea that 'Morticon is a sore-loser.' and nothing of merit. A good judge does not change thier opinion after hearing new evidence, they make the correct call the first time around."

Malkernen commented, "Well I thought it was a good speech Argon, " as Morticon slinked down, hearing himself called mean, rude, and evil!

Sakura then coughed and took a deep breath. "Furthermore, I have heard many things about Adara in my short time here, and I have already decided. Argon, you are right, this is just a fluff, lawsuit. Court rules in favor of Adara, even if her defense was mean to the judge."

Morticon with a gasp, said, "WHAT?!?!?! Daemon! "He pointed to Daemon, "Get Adara!"

Sakura called upon her balif. Kinsor who blocked DaemonNuit's access to Adara as Argon smiled and said, "Thank you, Sakura," as he gathered up his unused additional evidence.

Sakura then said,"Morticon, the court has a punishment for you. For making Argon say mean things about me, you are sentenced to one week probation. You may not flirt with any female SpinDizzian for an entire week!"
Morticon was held!
Morticon squirmed!
Morticon went. "lalalala. 'I can't hear you!"

Sakura then said, "Balif, get the court's tattoo gun, we shall write it on his hands." At which point both Malkernen and Myself held Morticon as a very long, legally complex document was tattooed on the Wallaby's paw. Morticon, who's flirtations with the opposite sex are legendary, struggled helplessly as he cried, "No! This is a fate worse than death!"

After the temporary tattooing, Morticon slunk out of the courtroom. As of press time, there have been no reports of his breaking the terms of his probation. In addition, Sakura proved herself as a fair Judge in the case of Cheif Justice Adara's inability to mediate future cases.

Spindizzy Special Edition To Be Released

Tuesday, February 4 has been scheduled as the release date for the much-anticipated Special Edition release of Spindizzy. This limited-printing four-disc edition includes not just a complete set of ordinary Spindizzy activities, but also rarely seen alternate cuts, several out-takes and bloopers, screensaver programs, a behind-the-scenes documentary, annotated screen captions, and rare audio tracks of early planning sessions.

Producers warn the attempted documentation of all obscure cartoons referenced by Austin Dern and Natasha Nelson will not be completed, but even the partial guide is expected to clarify much of what they're talking about. Austin notes defensively that he does not make up popular culture references, on the grounds that making it up would be redundant.

Included in the blooper reel is a famous incident in which Argon claimed to be "a horse," and another in which PatchO'Black handed out "marshmallows" to the startled crowd. Also featured is a sequence in which Dolly accidentally sipped from the tank of argon gas, rather than helium, leaving her not only heavier than air but also lowering her voice more than a full octave.

Among the rarely-seen alternate takes are included the little-seen plush Austin, the rubber-duckie Dolly, the supermarket-ride toy Morticon, the mouse-sparrow griffin Ping, the bunny-taur Skyler, and the coati Steve. The inclusion of the wind-up toy Nikon and the mermaid Cye will depend on the settling of international rights issues.

Fascinating little-known behind-the-scenes information include early plans to call the place "ElseMuck," in the hopes of establishing quick name recognition, and elaborate plans for a detailed building code and main grid that were ultimately not included in the Spindizzy as we know it. Commentary tracks will be provided by B.J., Dellway, Murasaki, and Tanuki.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.Argon told folks, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News. The question this week is, 'What is your New Year's resolution?'"

  • Adara grins, "I have two resolutions: to not jump to hasty conclusions, and to work on my tail exercizes!" She grabs a weight and begins pumping with her tail. "And one, and two, and JAZZ-ER-CIZE!!!"
  • Austin says, "To finish my Ph.D."
  • Terry chirps, "1600x1200, same as the rest of the year, Argon."
  • Manillo says, "My Resolution is to stop binging on wood alcohol."
  • Ark says, "I resolve to be more like Mike."
  • Manillo says, "I wanna be like Sara Palmer!"
  • Hare says, "I wanna be like Eric ;)"
  • Gilead chirps, "I resolve to draw more pictures, unless I break a paw again and can't."
  • Ark says, "I resolve to break Gilead's paw."
  • Terry chirps, "The live one, or one of the dead ones, Manilla?"
  • Hare says, "I resolve to... finish the concept document I'm working on. :) there we go, something I am going to do anyways, and I know I can do :)"
  • Terry chirps, "I resolve to decide whether or not to resolve to do something next year."
  • Ark says, "I resolve to dissolve."
  • Cye says, "I resolve to reslove!
  • Manillo says, "I resolve to follow my new year's resolutions."
  • Hare resolves to frag the pawbreaker :)

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News