@ Action News

Argon -- Editor
Ba'ar -- Associate Editor

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First "battle" in war a draw

The much anticipated "first battle" of Morticon, local wallaby and alledged leader of both the Society of Evil Doers (SED) and the ATP, which no one seems to know what its initials stand for, took place last week with a "snowball fight".

The ATP, made up seemingly mostly of SED members, arrived just before the battle was slated to begin. The centaurs and their allies, finding the excersise of opposing Morticon's poorly thought out reasons for his war not worth the time of making a name for their group, had been preparing for the battle for several days. A large "Centaur snow Fort" had been built at the scene of the battle. Patch O'Black, local Jellicle cat had offered his Winter Wonderland area as the venue for the snowball fight. Having a deep layer of snow, very cold temperatures and little to no wind, it was a perfect place.

As the centaurs and their allies gathered, Argon, local centaur and apparent "leader" of the centaur side for this battle, was a bit disapointed at the small turnout. His group consisted of Marissa, local clouded leopard, Ba'ar, local Bear, Kefan, local centaur, and Argon himself. The ATP, although having more "members" present, seemed less prepared in spite of rumors of several planning session they had held.

Once they arrived, they started building their fort and forming snowballs. Argon and his group had already built their fort and simply spent the time adding to the already massive amount of ammunition they had collected previously.

The rules suggested that only snow and water could be used in the fight, so the first round of the battle was snowballs and large "snow boulders" that were launched by catapults and snow cannons. As the battle progressed, both forts sustained damage. The damage was increased by hot water hoses, but repairs were made with cold water that froze quickly.

So many things were happening at once, that this reporter was unable to make a coherent record of the events. Plus, he was busy throwing snowballs and manning the cannons.

Darius, local culvert spirit, sometimes, decided he could burrow through the thick walls of the centaur fort and cause them to collapse. He had some success at this and caused the centaurs and their allies to move to another area of the fort. In a plan to decimate the "enemy" and melt their ammunition, the centaurs and their allies all started eating rich hot Mexican food in hopes of duplicating Andrew's ability to produce a noxious intestinal blast. Because none of them could do so, it was decided to make the enemy *think* they could, by facing away from the "enemy", eating the spicy food, and then kicking the already weakened wall of the fort down and blasting the ATP with snow and water.

While this was going on, Darius was flying over the centaur fort. Argon, without thinking, tossed a half eaten burrito at him. As the burrito was not ice or water or snow, Argon was disqualified. As the ATP were close to being beaten as it was, Argon took the disqualification gracefully and "sat out" the rest of the battle.

As both the Centaur and the ATP forts were decimated by this time, it became a hand to hand battle. Only Portia, local red panda, was occupying the ATP fort, and it was only a fort by defining covering herself in a mound of snow as one. Kefan had made his way to the ATP fort and was close to sealing Portia in, when the battle was halted due to the time limit.

The "judges" DTF, local wolf, and Annon, local salesrat, determined the "battle" to be a draw, as both Portia and Kefan were occupying a fort. As near as can be told, Portia's being sealed in her snow "fort" could be described as a rebuilding of the ATP fort, and Kefan's occupation of the ruins of the previous ATP fort could be seen as an occupation and conquest of their fort, hence making it a centaur fort which he occupied. The rules stated that the last team who still occupied their fort was the winner, and as both sides had an occupied fort, the decision to call it a draw was agreed, grudgingly by some, by all.

Argon was heard to say, "Oh, I can't complain about not beating Morti. His ATP minions are all small and quick. For them to be unable to beat things as large as centaurs, his group must have very poor aim. We were well prepared and foolishly took pity on the ATP group not wishing to cause them undue harm. it is a mistake we will not make again."

As this "war" was called by Morticon, the centaurs, being peaceful, law abiding and non-agressive individuals, are letting him decide how he will again take them on. Rumor has it he next wants to try something requiring intellegence and wit. It will be interesting to see what sort of contest he will choose.

ATP claims victory!

While the snowball fight ended in a tie between the Taurists and ATP, Morticon, local wallaby and head of the ATP, claimed victory, stating "It proves we are at least as good as them, and it's better that no one wins if the ATP can't."

Morticon then explained the next "battle" will occur soon, stating "it (the next battle) will be more cerebral in nature."

Patch O'Black given title

On Saturday, Patch O'Black, local Jellicle cat, asked Austin, wizard and coati, if he could make him the official treat grower for SpinDizzy. After a brief discussion, Austin approved so Patchy could sing the following song...

It's a difficult responsibility,
when you receive an appointment from a coati!
You must strive for a certain quality,
when you're the Treat Grower to SpinDizzy!

The marshmellows must be fluffy and bright,
and squish in the mouth just right!
The Toot Sweets must be be in tune,
and so sweet that make the eater swoon!

The candy apples should be bright red and give a tasty crunch...
The lemon drops are to be nice and yellow, and pack a sour punch!

It's a difficult responsibility,
when you receive an appointment from a coati!
You must strive for a certain quality,
when you're the Treat Grower to SpinDizzy!

The song was well received by those present. Patch O'Black says he will continue his efforts to make sure that the inhabitants of SpinDizzy, and the occasional guests, will remain well-fed!

The Chronicals of Narnia; The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

NArnia centaur

By this time next week, the Walt Dizney Company, in association with Walden Media will have released The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Based on the book by C. S. Lewis, the success of the Lord of the Rings and other "modern" classics, film makers and studios are lining up to hop on this bandwagon.

So, you may ask, what has this to do with our quiet serene lives on SpinDizzy? Several things. Narnia is a magical land. There are a number of magic users in SpinDizzy. SpinDizzy has a number of "talking animals". So does Narnia. Narnia is in the grip of a war between good and evil. SpinDizzy has Morticon. SpinDizzy has centaurs. Narnia describes them as, "...half man and half horse. They are wize and loyal creatures and good strategists in warfare. The centaur Oreius in the General of Aslan's army." Amazingly similar to the centaurs of SpinDizzy.

Next week's @Action News is hoped to have a review of this landmark film. Landmark because is features centaurs, not as evil and profane, but noble and good. And from the many sites of the Internet, faily accurately depicted. Be sure and see next week's paper to read Argon's review of this movie.

In Step With: Peppermint


This week, we chat with Peppermint, local, Pademelon

Peppermint has arrived.

Peppermint ooohs. Ba'ar's Bedroom!

Ba'ar growls, "Hello peppermint and thanks for helping me out with this interview."

Peppermint squints at Ba'ar. "I don't know what you've heard about me, but I'm not cheap. I'm easy but I'm not cheap. ;^>"

Ba'ar grins, "Don't worry...I normally hold my interviews here...and it's VERY platonic."

Peppermint giggles. "Sure, sure. Then you show them your etchings."

Ba'ar growls, "Silly Peppermint...I can't draw worth a lick."

Ba'ar giggles

Peppermint ooohs. Saliva art. Now *that's* an etching. Mildly acidic. :^>

Ba'ar giggles "Oh geez.. You're an even worse punster than I am..."

Peppermint aaaanyways, she'll be good. For her. "So... I'm here. Let's get interviewing!"

Ba'ar growls, "Now then. Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Peppermint puts on her interviewing goggles...

Peppermint grins, "Well, I was created March 3rd, 1999, at 3:47 Pacific Standard Time. Yegads, I had no idea it was that long ago."

Peppermint suddenly has this urge to break out the walker.

Ba'ar growls, "Were you part of the Toons Fur and Fluff crew?"

Peppermint thinks to herself... "You know, I don't remember. I was born right about the time of the crash, but... gads. See, my mind is going."

Peppermint shakes her head. Dave, cut it out, take a stress pill, and think about what you're doing!

Peppermint will tentatively answer "No" to the question, until incriminating evidence turns up.

Ba'ar growls, "So to the best of your recollection, what brought you to Spindizzy?"

Peppermint giggles, and winks. "That's a secret. Let's say I knew somebody here."

Ba'ar growls, "So what's a typical day like for you-or is there such a thing?"

Peppermint scratches her head, and thinks. "Well, my typical day tends to, well, bleah. I don't think I have a typical day. As a general rule I tend to like visiting the Rose Garden or other places where people are piling up, and see if I can start a good confusing argument. There's not much in this world more fun then that. ;^>"

Ba'ar growls, "What's your favorite thing to start arguments about?"

Peppermint grins, toothily. "It doesn't really matter, as long as it's an obscure thing that nobody cares about. Like the exact words to the "Rescue Rangers" theme song, or whether France really is the root of all evil."

Ba'ar growls, "I see. So who do you admire the most?"

Peppermint thinks. Hmmmmmm. "I would say "Myself", but I think that answer has been taken. But, oh Lord, it's Hard to Be Humble, when you're Perfect in Every Way. ;^> Seriously, hrm... I sort of hate to answer a question like that. It's not nice to play favorites and all."

Peppermint isn't very nice, mind you, but she has to try. ;^>

Ba'ar smiles, "Conversely, who do you admire the least?"

Peppermint giggles wildly. "I hate to muckrake. I can think of one person who's no longer here who'd actually be a good answer to both questions, in that he was so bad you had to admire it, but, again... it's not good to dance on graves. At least when people might see you."

Ba'ar nods, "So do you have any plans for the future - other than being charmingly goofy/"

Ba'ar grins.

Peppermint hmmmms and ponders. "Well, there's the old goal of eating something larger then your own head, but I'm afraid Mouser has probably already beaten me to it. Lacking that, well... hm. I tend to be a short-term thinker."

Ba'ar smiles, "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Peppermint grins. "Well, this isn't really a "secret" or anything, but often people miss it. My name is actually a pun based on a Peanuts character."

Peppermint grumbles. A fact she resents terribly, you know.

Ba'ar nods, "In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Peppermint wells, and hms. "Don't be rude unless you're cute enough to get away with it, never encourage a Centaur to run under low branches unless you're looking for a laugh, and the yellow snow is bad, but not quite as bad as the blue water."

Ba'ar smiles, "Good advice. This concludes our interview. Once again, thanks."

Peppermint grins and fuzzles Ba'ar. "Now the wall licking commences?"

Ba'ar grins, "You gotta check with Willie Wonka about that. I understand he has lickable wallpaper for nurseries."

Peppermint yeahs, but it's got nothing on the fizzy lifting drinks.

Weekly Survey

Ba'ar Greetings Everyone. The @Action News survey for this week is....What's your favorite holiday special?

  • Argon says,"Oh, hard to tell. My favorite is It's A Wonderful Life, but The Star Wars Holiday Special is very entertaining."
  • Gilead says, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
  • Rjia says, "My favorite holiday special is definitely the old claymation Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raindeer with Burl Ives as the singing/narrating snowman."
  • PatchO'Black mews, "How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Suessian fun! And contains the answer to my favorite trivia question!"
  • Gina_Doberman says, "A Charlie Brown Christmas!"
  • Borris says, "Ah! "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"
  • Darius says, "I guess I like the old Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer."
  • DTF ponders "If I remember the name of it right, Flight of the Yellow Bird. Was a trucker movie with Tom Wopat and John Schneider. Haven't seen it in years."
  • Leowulf says, "Yeah, I'd have to say Rudolph too."

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
Why is there a sudden shortage of bananas?
- F. Bat

Dear F. Bat:
Because of the increased demand for banana cream pies.

Dear Bearing Up:
Is it true Morticon is planning to use yellow snowballs for the snowball fight with the centaurs?
- I. P. Freely

Dear I.P. Freely:
No, he's planning to use WHITE SNOWBALLS though.

Dear Bearing Up:
Is Morticon absolutley nuts trying to beat the centaurs in anything requiring mental or physical prowess?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
No. He's not nuts....but he IS bonkers, 'round the twist, and insane.

Dear Bearing Up:
I ate too much for Thanksgiving and now my pants don't fit. What should I do?
- B.Eltundone

Dear B.Eltundone:
Get a bigger, wider pair of pants.

Dear Bearing Up:
I had a checkup recently and my doctor presented me 'healthy as a horse'. As a centaur, should I be insulted?
- Rown

Dear Rown:
No. Centaurs are horselike so consider it a compliment.

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to baar.bear@gmail.com. Thanks.

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

The Doze Garden

Local beavers find a way to make their unique skills pay!

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News