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Argon -- Editor

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Exploring on the South Rim of the World

Morticon the wallaby and his talking car went off Friday night on a trip for exploring the world. I always thought the whole world was explored except when things were being newly built, but Morticon said there's places that only just now got added to the world ever since the city left the planet we were on a couple weeks ago. And when his Mk III Mini came in and beeped Morticon and I and Leowulf the wolf-lion and Portia the red panda and Roofus_roo the kangaroo and Andrew the centaur and Tzolkin the mousecat and Chalice-Flame the My Little Pony all came along.

Well it was a long drive south to find it and when we got there it was a pretty weird place. One thing is everybody saw something different when they looked, but it was also always kind of the same thing too. Like in the first room I saw a painting in the background of mountain peaks, but Portia saw spaceships, and Tzolkin saw a volcanic island and there was a discarded cartoony automobile in front of everything. Morticon said he thought things were impressions of paintings and then his whole body turned solid black like a drawing!

Portia was taking notes on everything, and Leowulf said it was like the place had a artistic theme. And all the rooms were really like that, where we'd each see different things, but they were kind of all paintings or stuff in the background and with different stuff up front. Sometimes it was things like airplane cockpits in the backgrounds, or there were curtains around the sides, or particularly there were sawhorses.

One of the hobby horses even had a bridle and saddle on it, and it was okay having me ride it! It didn't talk like most people do, but Andrew could understand it and said, "The horse it happy." It liked having the company and it followed Andrew around. But it left a trail of shiny dry paint behind too. The paint was white and a little rubbery, and everybody wondered how that worked but didn't know. Morticon too was having weird things happen where after he turned all black, his eyes turned into little yellow dots, and said it was kind of impressionistic. When he saw in a mirror he got scared and turned pale. (Portia gave him the mirror, I didn't know she was magic but she said she was a mage.) Then he melted into a bucket and sloshed around. Portia poured him out and he turned into a solid thing but with still that solid black body and yellow eyes.

Leowulf guessed the south rim was a place for things that were discarded, or ideas that didn't make the cut to be in Spindizzy before, although paintings of the Rose Garden were in the set. But then he tried playing with some of the dials he found and it turned him more abstract, and started looking like he was in a funhouse mirror all distorted and twisty. He guessed maybe then it was for things that might be, "kind of like Spindizzy protomatter." From other rooms he figured, " a lot of the discardeds deal with communication, like the radio, or the microphone." That's when Skyler came in and we found out he's not slippers anymoer but a real bunny cartoon again. And Morticon thought he saw whole galaxies in the astronomy stuff but didn't know how to show the rest of us. Plus then Argon the centaur came and joined things.

That's when things got weird. Morticon got us all to a brand new spot that was a lot the same, except there was a sign there, "While you explore us you don't know who explores you." Morticon didn't know what the sign meant and was scared by it because he didn't know who was exploring us. Actually nobody seemed to know. And then Morticon found a place that's really different, a bit stone mound called Club Pandemonium, with a little thunderstorm all around it. But something came through and tossed everyone away when we got there, and we were all sent off to our homes! Morticon said it was a snag, but we stopped exploring for the night then and Tzolkin got hurt during it.

The stuff that got mapped can be seen by typing map #show if you want.

Tzolkin got hurt and can't see

When we were exploring Friday night the whole group got thrown around when we tried getting into Club Pandemonium. The Great Furry Paw of Banishment went and tossed everybody back home, which was a bother for everybody but really serious for Tzolkin the mousecat because he lives underground and he got bounced off rocks to go home! We tried helping heal him when we found him, with my magic wand that made it easy to find the points where things were hurt because they would glow blue where anyone could see. Most of these spots had to get some attention like being petted and kissed and all, but there was one spot that just wouldn't! It hurt his head hard and worse, he couldn't see even when he had his eyes opened up.

Tzolkin has a lot of nanites that help him do stuff, so we hoped it was just them being broken, but they said things were okay. I tried doing some medicine but don't really know anything about it, and nobody who was there could do anything either! Findra the bunny is supposed to know some nursing but she's on holiday everybody said so she couldn't help. And I had to go to sleep so just tried giving Tzolkin a lot of good thoughts and putting him in Roofus_roo kangaroo's pouch where he could feel safe.

After that Leowulf the wolf-lion and Portia the red panda took Tzolkin and tried to heal him. They were able to make his head stop hurting at least but he doesn't yet see again.

Skyler's a bunny and isn't slippers

Skyler who's been a pair of red panda slippers for a couple months now ever since I painted him with red panda paint and he got turned into slippers again by Aushae the dragon, got turned back into being a single bunny again. He wanted to be a toy, too, and this is probably just letting him get used to being only a single person again before changing into toyness. Portia the red panda said he was "filling in as our resident bunny," but she was joking.

In Step With: TimesHeart


This week, we sit down to talk with Timesheart Tiger, local Carebear Cousin.

Timesheart has arrived.

Timesheart grins, "Hiya! There's always time for caring."

Ba'ar smiles and offers Timeheart a seat "Welcome and thanks for letting me do the interview."

Timesheart holds his tail as he sits down, then releases his tail. "You're very welcome."

Ba'ar smiles "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "I've been around for a long time. It's true that I'm not as ancient as Argon, but I have been around since the TF&F days, at least. I generally arrived in Spindizzy during it's early days, I'd suppose." He checks his tummy clock. "Yes, right about then."

Ba'ar smiles "I understand there was a Carebear community on TF and F that migrated here when TF and F bit the dust."

Ba'ar growls, "Were you a part of that community?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "I suppose there was. It was pretty extensive, although I can't remember of I was truly a member of their clan, when I moved from the Valley of Virtue to the lands of caring, or not. I visited them, I believe, and was friends with a carebear cousin squirrel."

Ba'ar nods "What brought you to Spindizzy (other than of course TF and F's demise)?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "My elders in the Valley of Virtue contacted me and told me that the Care Bears didn't have an official cousin of time, and because I was the oldest apprentice to the keepers of the Sands of Nod, I was chosen to make the journey."

Ba'ar nods "So that brings me to my next question. Am I correct in thinking you're here on a caring mission?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "Well... it is a mission of sorts. I was charged to assist those who care with keeping 'time' or opening time portals or aging or age-regressing those who thought they wanted such. Alas, I haven't had the opportunity to do the last two abilities, I am the official keeper of caring time. That is why there is always time for caring. Because I brought it forth for everyone else to use."

Ba'ar growls, "So that's your mission here. To encourage SD citizens to always make...as it were...TIME for caring."

Timesheart mrowlls, "Yes, that is a good way to put it."

Ba'ar nods "I understand you're a carebear cousin. Were you born one or did you become one?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "Ah... I was born as a tiger cousin in the Sands of Nod in the Valley of Virtue. The Valley is located in a far away, oriental setting where many are the oddities from the norm for cousins. Last I heard, there were oxen cousins, as well as, panda cousins and rat cousins. In the Valley, we followed the code of the Celestial Bureaucracy, but like the Care Bears, we assisted others when needed. Pardon me if I became extensively winded... I was born one."

Ba'ar nods "Are there any differences (rank perhaps) between carebears and carebear cousins?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "In the western world, I would say maybe. In the eastern world, the differences depend upon how 'good' we've personally been when doing what we've been charged to do. Even here in Spindizzy, I am graded by my invisible peers, as they watch to see that I uphold the duty for which I was sent here. In the western world, I believe that the common care bears think themselves better than the cousins, because the common care bears were there first. Perhaps I am wrong in thinking this, but the cousins in the western world seem to have to work twice as hard to prove themselves, than do their bear counterparts."

Ba'ar growls, "Our readers know about your distinctive tummy symbols. How do you carebears and cousins know what tummy symbol you're going to get?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "That is indeed a mystery. Again, the gaining of the tummy symbols differ between east and west. Those in the west use their's as both weapons and tools, whereas those in the east only use them as tools. We are given side training in actual weapons, if such is desired. But back to your question... when born, we have no tummy symbol at all. We do not know right away what we will end up with, in the beginning... but based upon how you act throughout your life, every factor plays a part in the tummy symbol development. Thus, when we reach puberty, we are ready to receive our tummy symbols. In the east, there is a great ceremony involved. I am not certain what those in the west do to get their's. No one has ever mentioned it. I know that Nimble has never brought up the subject."

Ba'ar growls, "So is receiving your tummy symbol a kind of 'coming of age' for you carebears and carebear cousins?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "For those in the east, yes."

Ba'ar growls, "You keep making distinctions between 'those in the ease' and 'those in the west'. If I may, what's the difference? Are you talking about carebears and cousins in different world regions?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "There are two separate clans, of course. Those in the west are the more famous 'common' variety of Care Bears and their cousins. You remarked yourself that you'd never heard of a tiger cousin, thus... it stands to reason that tigers, such as myself, must come from a different clan. The clan of the Eastern Care Bears and their cousins. If there is a difference on the outside, it is equally balanced by the love and caring that we hold dear on the inside."

Ba'ar nods "So what's the difference? Region and type of creature?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "Yes, the region and ways of the region, as well as, the more unique variety of creatures make up the main differences. Aside from that, the two clans are very similar."

Ba'ar nods "Interesting. What are the advantages of being a carebear cousin? Disadvantages? "

Timesheart mrowlls, "This is not to confuse our clans with the record stricken cousin clan who uphold ways of debauchery and desire... but we shouldn't talk about 'THEM'... not here... SED might get ideas... Advantages? Use of the cloudcars and the ability to live where ever we please, are top bonuses. We're never sick, well, not terribly sick. We have Grams Bear to thank for doctoring most of us. Disadvantages? Everyone assumes that just because you have a tummy symbol, you can pull off near miracles that we simply are not capable of doing. We're often targeted as being the ultimate force of good in a region, when it is obvious that there are others who are far more good than we are. This is why SED often targets Care Bears. They mistakingly think we're the local ultimate good. If only they knew what went on behind closed doors... *big knowing grin*"

Ba'ar winks at timesheart "Don't worry. Geraldo Rivera I ain't. Now then. What's a typical day like for you?"

Ba'ar growls, "Or is there no such a thing for you?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "My typical day... I awaken in my tower in Terryville, which is politely located at the other end of the AmTrak rail, and I take a bath. I often need one, when I am able to get one. Then, after sometimes talking to the voices in the air, I venture out and admire the zaniness of Terryville, before riding the AmTrak train over to Spindizzy's central hub. There is all manner of information to be had in the garden. Meals are taken where I can get them. My evenings involve a walk on a beach, counting flowers, and having bad fantasies about quadrupeds. ;)"

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most..in or out of the carebear community?"

Timesheart smiles. "In the community... Nimble. Shi's always been the kindest soul to speak to, although I haven't spoken to her recently... outside of the community, I admire Rown... he's a young centaur, and not completely ruined into the civilized ways that most other centaurs seem to have fallen into. But I shouldn't presume. I might be wrong.

Ba'ar nods "Do you have any plans for the future?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "I am on the Terryville council for city development, so there are always plans, but as they say in council... little time to actually complete these plans." He sighs. "If you meant long-range plans, I am a tiger who is far far away from home. What plans could I possibly have?"

Ba'ar nods

Ba'ar growls, "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Timesheart grins. "What we cousins show on the surface is rarely what we portray on the inside. I have a great love of wallowing in huge mudholes and bogs. That may not be very shocking, but how many other cousins do that?

Ba'ar growls, "Hey ..it keeps you cool during the warm summer months... "

Ba'ar growls, "Now then..In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Ba'ar chuckles "Or do I already know what's coming?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "Oh absolutely! Words of wisdom? Hmms... Oh yes... grope a Care Bear whenever you can! And..." He grins and winks. "There's always time for caring, handsome!"

Ba'ar chuckles "The latter part..I saw from a mile away."

Ba'ar growls, "That concludes our interview. Thanks alot for allowing me to do it."

Timesheart smiles and hugs you. "You're very welcome. You'd likely be Newsheart Bear."

Ba'ar smiles "Quite frankly, I'd never even thought about joining up.

Ba'ar hugs timesheart back.

Timesheart mrowlls, "No one thinks about it, and there is no real recruitment going on."

Ba'ar growls, "Is there a real need for bears and cousins in this area?"

Timesheart mrowlls, "But it is possible to accidently become one. Blood transfusions and biting accidents do occur. Just don't tell SED that."

Timesheart mrowlls, "I am not the one to ask if there is a need."

Ba'ar grins "Biting accidents? You're talking about becoming a WEREBEAR not a CAREBEAR."

Ba'ar smiles "That's fine. At any rate. Thanks for letting me do this."

Timesheart mrowlls, "No, I am talking about WERECAREBEARS... but the stricken clan can possibly change people, as well. They have no morals. Are we done?"

Ba'ar nods.

Gilead's 'Taurible Puns

Q: Why didn't the centaur with a foot fetish tell his mate how much he loved her?
A: He always seemed to have a frog in his throat when they were together.

:Q Why are there so few centaurs with foot fetishes?
A: Everyone knows sniffing glue can be deadly.

:Q Why was the centaur unhappy at the Indian restaurant?
A: When his friends asked if he'd like to come along for a curry, he thought they meant a trip to the groomer.

:Q Why are all the Andalusian centaur mares blonde?
A: It's been common knowledge since the 1500s that there's gold on the Spanish mane.

:Q What do you call someone who fantasizes about being devoured by Argon?
A: A 'taurarephile.

:Q Why are centaurs always respectful of the mafia?
A: Nothing's worse than waking up and finding a humanoid torso in your bed.

:Q Why didn't the deer-taur trust any of her boyfriends?
A: She always thought they were just after her hind end.

:Q How do you tell a Rastafarian centaur?
A: By his dreadfetlocks.

:Q What do centaurs do on a date?
A: Head out on the dance floor and really hoof it up.

:Q Why did the centaur stop his car?
A: It was already stalled.

:Q What animal has a human torso and a green shell?
A: A 'taurtoise.

:Q Why did the centaur telephone random people?
A: He worked for the Gallop Polls.

:Q What has six limbs and a picture on its rump?
A: My Little Centaur.

:Q Why can't Argon get either party nomination?
A: He's too much of a centaurist to satisfy the fringe elements of either party.

:Q Why can't Argon cross the desert?
A: If he tried to ride, he'd be the centaur that broke the camel's back.

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Just as a note, this makes a full year @Action News has been showing our circulation numbers. Yay!

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
Is it ok to pay off my VISA card with my Mastercard?
- Charger.

Dear Charger:

Dear Bearing Up:
How do I keep my nose from bleeding?
- Vampire

Dear Vampire:
Keep it out of the ring.

Dear Bearing Up:
My husband won't let me wear clothes. What to do?
- Naked

Dear Naked:
It's a compliment. You have a good looking body.

Dear Bearing Up:
How do drugs like Leptoprin work?
- Dieter

Dear Dieter:
They cost so much you don't have as much money for food, so you lose weight.

Dear Bearing Up:
I have a problem biting nails. Why is this?
- Nervous

Dear Nervous:
You bite NAILS because you need more IRON in your BLOOD.

Dear Bearing Up:
My doctor has asked me to give up drinking and smoking. What can I do?
- J. Camel

Dear J. Camel:
Find another doctor who drinks and smokes.

Dear Bearing Up:
What to do about yellow teeth?
- Dentist.

Dear Dentist:
wear a yellow hat to go with them.

Dear Bearing Up:
How do I get my son to look up to me?
- Mother

Dear Mother:
Stand on a stool.

Dear Bearing Up:
What to do about biting insects?
- A. Rachnid.

Dear A. Rachnid:
Bite them back!

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, Argon is asking, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week is an easy one, 'What's your favorite kind of ice cream?"

  • Ba'ar - My favorite is Death By Chocolate ice cream.
  • Felina mews, "Pickle?"
  • Gilead oohs. "Coldstone Creamery cheesecake ice cream with black cherries and graham cracker pie crust.
  • Andrew nickers, "Cookie dough."
  • Mouser hisses, "Pistachio. Definitely pistachio."
  • Darius says, "Mine is Panda paws."
  • Kefan says, "Cherry Garcia, of course!"
  • Timesheart mrowlls, "Oh yeah! Ice cream!! I love Strawberry Swirled! I'd buy the whole store out, if I could!"
  • Softpaws purrs, "I like make believe ice cream.... its cheaper and tasts heaps better. "
  • DTF smiles "Strawberry swirl (I think that's what it's called) by Blue Bunny"
  • Vixie - "I like chocolate chip."
  • Gina_Doberman , "Black Cherry!"
  • Maxia - "mint caramel,
  • Akeakami pages, "It's a toss-up between Mint Chocolate Chip and Cherry Vanilla! Nummy!"
  • PatchO'Black pages, "Rocky Road! You know, it has marshmellows in it!".
  • Leowulf - Raspberry, anything raspberry ROCKS!
  • Europa - "I like Cherry Garcia."

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News