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Argon -- Editor

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Fae Really Are Crucial to the Operation of Nature

The recent absence of Flutterz, local Dread Pirate Fae, from the environs of SpinDizzy has been definitively linked to the collapse of crucial laws of nature within the SpinDizzy field. Gilead, local Otter scientist, and Morticon, local Evil Wallaby, working on a research grant from the Morticon Foundation (a wholly-owned subsidiary and tax dodge of the S.E.D.), has discovered that the lack of Flutterz is significantly detrimental to the functioning of SpinDizzy, on the most basic levels. While the detrimental effects of the lack of Flutterz on the social environment were considered intuitively obvious to the casual observer, this recent discovery goes much further, and serves to explain many underlying detrimental effects of the absence of Flutterz. These observations and experiments finally put to rest "Enlightenment"-era ideas like the flow of phlogiston and ether in physical phenomena. Nature indeed operates by the actions of Fae.

Gilead and Morticon's discovery proves that Fae have a crucial role in an electricity-like phenomenon called pagemail. Due to the normal activity of the lifeforms on SpinDizzy interacting with the SpinDizzy field and each other, subatomic particles that have been named "messageons" are generated, and build up in a quantum energy band known colloquially as the "mailbox". Under normal circumstances, their daily magical activities cause Fae to pass through this band, scattering the messageons and preventing dangerous energy blockages. However, the absence of Flutterz caused this energy band to become completely occupied with messageons in the vicinity of areas normally occupied by a Fae, blocking conductance of further messageons that had to pass through that vicinity to the mailbox fields of other beings.

It is believed that, due to the central role of the mailbox field in the interactions of various denizens of SpinDizzy, this phenomenon was the first non-social effect to be definitively linked to the actions of Fae. Although not definitively proven yet, it is believed that other crucial natural cycles may also depend on Fae. Gilead was quoted as saying it's probably not long before the sun ceases to rise, the rains cease to fall, flowers cease to grow, , deer cease to fear hunters on the meadow, and dwarves cease to mine diamonds. While Gilead speculated that perhaps capturing enemies and sacrificing their hearts to the Jaguar spirit Tezcatlipoca might help the rains fall and sun rise again, he was hesitant to extrapolate on whether that would do anything for flowers or dwarves. In any case, trying to wake up Flutterz was considered a preferable solution, even by Morticon. More research is needed into whether anyone on Spindizzy is a proper enough Prince to accomplish this by simply smooching her, or if other methods are needed.

Soul_Food for though

I've taken to looking after things in my uncle Ray's absence, including continuing his explorations. I'll be posting occasional articles as I uncover more areas which might be of interest to adventurous furs. I'll also be posting other, more general thoughts and ideas as they come up, if I think of anything anyfur else might want to know.

This first article is about the Western Glimmersea, the largely-uncharted inland sea which begins West of Azul Island (S5 E6). This region is so large that it might seem empty on casual inspection. However, some intriguing islands and a seaport have already been identified, and there is good reason to expect more discoveries as time goes on.

In order to help those furs who wish to navigate the Western Glimmersea, I have completed a set of charts which should make the job easier. The area is broken down into three Mares, or Seas: Mare Proximus (MAH-ray PROX-ee-moos: Nearer Sea) S5 E5; Mare Medius (MAH-ray MAY-dee-oos: Central Sea) S6 E5; Mare Ultimus Hesperus (MAH-ray OOL-tee-moose HESS-per-oos: Westernmost Sea) S6 E4.

Each Mare consists of a shoreline (the map square); shallow Coastal Waters, from which further navigation may be launched; two or more stretches of ocean further out to sea along one of the offshore currents; and a range of the deeper, Middle Sea.

The Mare Ultimus Hesperus has already yielded the rediscovery of the mystical Shore of Wonder, in the great Middle-Sea, as well as the port town of Viz Varos (vish VAH-rosh), in its Northern Waters along the edge of mysterious Keresztulerdo (Kehr-ess-too-LEHR-doh), S5 E4.

Exploration of the Mare Medius has yielded the Ekena'iulani (Eh-KEH-na ee-yu-LAH-nee) Islands, home of Luau Beach on Waenakonu (why-na-KO-nu) Island, in their own stretch of the Middle Sea.

I will post further discoveries in these Seas, as well as in the lands bordering them, as they occur. Please feel free to explore; while there may be peril on the open seas, remember that, if you can get somewhere in these waters, you should feel free to explore it.

Jellicle levels nominal

Jellicle levels on SpinDizzy have remained high yet still within tolerences, for the last several months. Singing and dancing cats, Particularly, Patch O'Black, local Jellicle cat, have kept the amount of Jellicleness at amounts that have been effective yet not overbearing.

Unlike the summer of '02, when a miscommunication resulted in lower than normal Jellicleness, this summer has not suffered form a lack of happy cats. This has resulted in SpinDizzy residents enjoying naps in sunbeams, saucers of cream, and in some cases, purring.

In a related matter, Royce, local raccoon, is still hungry.

Places to Go: Roller Skating Night

Spindizzy has a lot of great places to go to. Instead of hanging out in the Rose Garden, one night last week, Portia, Rona and I went to the Ottrix Entertainment Complex for an short evening of roller skating. Gilead and PatchO’Black joined us once we got there. Roller skating is something that is a bit scary for many furs, but it is easy once you get the hang of it! First we came to the main carpark area of the Ottrix Centre. It was a bustling place! This is what we saw:

Ottrix: Main Carpark

You stand in a huge vast area full of many vehicles of different shapes, sizes and colours strewn across all parked next to each other. There are all kinds to be seen here from the small humble bike to the mega top of the range hover vehicles you see on such programs on SpinDizzy Network "Motors for Furs/Scalies and Featheries.."

Various furs are walking about looking at the various sign posts, chatting as they unload or load their vehicles arriving or leaving as many brightly coloured staff walk about in their blue uniforms with happy faces clearing up what mess there is or retaking the trolleys from the dropoff points back to the main shopping area.

In the distance you can hear a large crowd cheer where the sports are played out. Straight ahead is a large building with large letters that display "OTTRIX ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE" with huge glass doors underneath them.

This place was very exciting. We couldn’t wait to go in! Next, we walked from the carpark and the busy furs to make our way to the Ottrix Centre. We arrived at the Main Welcome Hall. This is what we saw when we arrived. :

Ottrix: Main Welcome Hall
The main welcome hall of the Ottrix Centre is very stylish for everyone's needs. Huge fans blow either hot or cold air depending on what the weather is like outside as you walk past the welcome mat.

In front of you is a large customer service desk with a male otter and female weasel standing behind looking after any customers that need any assistance. Behind them on the wall is a large viewscreen showing the various things that are available as well as prices that certain areas cost though the shopping area is free.

There are various doors leading off in all directions. there is also a map to look at as well in various points in the building showing you the way. We headed off to the recreational facilities department.

Ottrix: Recreational Facilities
You enter a very large room, which is huge and noisy. Lots of flashing lights are going off in the arcade section with huge noises flashing about as some furs play the latest Furarama IV game. In the other sections huge clashes of balls rack against the ten pin bowling alley as yet another two otters keeps behind the main desk giving out roller skates, blades, shoes and other equipment for the area.

Portia and I thought it would be a great place for a birthday party. Then we wondered whose birthday was coming up next. My birthday is August 9. It would be my first birthday. Rona said that her birthday was August 21. It might be neat to have a double party. If that’s the case it would be pretty soon!

I was the first to put on my skates. I got up slowly, and started out for the rink. The conversation and events went something like this:

Marissa purrs, "Anyone going to join me?"

Editor's note: Marrissa then included a log of the events which can be read, here.

Marissa, Portia and Rona were joined by other friends who enjoy an evening of fun and friendship. As Marissa said, "Perhaps some other furs might want to try out roller skating. It’s a lot of fun!"

In Step With: Nimble


This week we sit down with Nimble: Local Care Bear Cousin

Nimble has arrived.

Nimble bounches in and hugs Ba'ar happily, "Hello".

Ba'ar growls, "Hello Nimble...*hugs*"

Ba'ar growls, "Thanks for agreeing to my interview."

Nimble chitters quietly, "That's ok."

Ba'ar growls, "No need to be nervous...no right or wrong answers in this..just answer them to the best of your ability."

Nimble nodnods, hir tail twitching a little..

Ba'ar smiles "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Nimble smiles, "Well, I have been here since SpinDizzy was SpinDizzy (or perhaps a couple of days afterwards)... Before that I was in TF&F.

Ba'ar nods

Ba'ar growls, "So what brought you to Spindizzy wsa when TF and F went under?"

Nimble nods sadly, "I was there the day TF&F went down. I was there right up until the last moments when things started to fail around us. After a few days of not knowing anything I receieved a message from Austin about SpinDizzy, and that is when I came here."

Nimble's tail droops a little...

Ba'ar growls, "Many furs came here from TF and F as I understand it."

Ba'ar growls, "I understand you're a Care Bear Cousin. Were you born one or were you made?"

Nimble nodnods, "Most of us managed to make it here from TF&F. Originally on TF&F I was just a squirrel. I was there that I met Tenderheart, and I became a Care Bear Cousin. When we came to SpinDizzy, I helped Tenderheart to rebuild Care-a-lot."

Ba'ar growls, "So there was a Care Bear community on TF and F? "

Nimble nodnods, "Oh, yes. It was quite a large community, actually."

Nimble's tail swishes happily...

Ba'ar growls, "How have your friends and family reacted to your becoming a Care Bear Cousin?"

Nimble chitters quietly, "They have been very supportive. Actually, I think they enjoy me bouncing around and hugging everyone, which is a little odd since I was like that even before I became a Care Bear Cousin."

Ba'ar smiles "What are the advantages of being a Care Bear Cousin?"

Nimble hmmms, "Well, most people like the tummy symbol, especially when it glows. It can be very handy when I get stuck in dark places, but it sometimes gets me in trouble too. Of course the other advantages are that I get to run around and give people hugs."

Nimble hugs Ba'ar happily!

Ba'ar growls, "What are the disadvantages of being a Care Bear Cousin?"

Nimble chitters quietly, "Disadvantages? Well I don't know if there are disadvantages, but there are responsibilities. As a Care Bear Cousin, I share the responsibility for the caring in the world. Most of the time it can mean helping people out who are sad or who have troubles. I do enjoy it, even though it can be hard sometimes.""

Ba'ar growls, "You sometimes feel you have the world on your shoulders?"

Nimble chitters quietly, "Ooo, no. Not really. I am not alone. All the Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins help each other out. If I feel I need help, all I have to do is ask."

Ba'ar nods "So, what's a typical day like for you?"

Nimble giggles, "All of my days are different. That is what makes it fun an interesting. One day I could be helping a kitten stuck in a tree, the next I could be giving Morticon a hug. I don't know if you could say I have a 'typical' day..."

Ba'ar giggles and imagines Nimble giving Morticon a hug (and Morticon freaking out.

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most (in or out of the Care Bear community)?"

Nimble chitters quietly, "In the Care Bear community, it would have to be Tenderheart. He was the one who made me a Care Bear Cousin. I guess he would be my mentor. Outside the Care Bear community, it would be the wizzes. They do a lot of good things here and I do try to help them out when I can."

Ba'ar nods "Do you have any plans for the future (other than of course continuing to make SD a better place to live)?"

Nimble chitters quietly, "Well, I think I will try to keep giving Morticon hugs. He pretends to be all horrible, but deep down he cares. He even took me to his lab once for an experiment, but I think I broke something because it didn't work...."

Nimble chitters quietly, "Other than that I will just try to be myself and give out lots of hugs."

Ba'ar smiles "Do you think that Morticon will become good one of these days...?"

Nimble chitters quietly, "Well I think there is good in him already. I think he works too much, and he needs to have more fun."

Ba'ar nods "Just a few questions before we go...What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Nimble hmmms, "Well I'm not sure that I have any secrets, although I'm sure at least some of our readers would know that I don't always float around as a Care Bear Cousin. Balloons tend to make people happy as well."

Ba'ar nods "In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Nimble blushes a little, "I'm not sure about words of wisdom, since I'm not that smart, but do think that there is nothing wrong with hugs. Everyone needs a nice big hug from time to time."

Nimble tailsnugs Ba'ar and then gives him a nice big hug.

Ba'ar growls, "That concludes our interview. Thanks for doing it."

Nimble's tail swishes happily.

Nimble chitters quietly, "Thank you!"

Ba'ar smiles "You've gotta admit that it wasn't all that difficult."

Nimble nodnods.

Gilead's Sickly Puns

Q: Why didn't the responsible pet owner call his female cat a girl?
A: He believed you should call a spayed a spayed.

Q: Why did the Klansman take his sick dog to a German war hero?
A: One of his buddies told him to take the dog to a "veteran Aryan."

Q: Where do responsible pet owners go to frolic with their dogs?
A: Neuterist colonies.

Q: Why did the crazy lady put her dyslexic boyfriend's ill bunny in the soup?
A: He told her the bunny needed to go into the "V. A. T.".

Q: Why did King Pelias order Jason to take his retriever to the vet?
A: To get rid of the dog's Golden Fleas.

Q: What did the responsible pet owner do when his dog's self-restraint failed?
A: Took him into the shop and had him fixed.

Q: Why don't Italian veterinarians ever go thirsty?
A: They can-a make-a any animal become-a well.

Q: How was the fake veterinarian caught?
A: He diagnosed an octopus with a broken bone.

Q: How do vets put ducks out for surgery?
A: Anas-thetics. (hint: The mallard's scientific name is Anas platyrynchos.)

Q: Why did the animal psychologist give the pachyderm thorazine?
A: He couldn't tell the difference between reality and his elephantasies.

Q: Why did the cockney vet give the water weasel an aspirin?
A: 'is fore'ead felt 'ott.

Q: What do you get on you when a cat sneezes in your direction?
A: Mew-cus.

Q: What do you call a wallaby who needs to go on a diet?
A: A doughy joey.

Q: what do you call a slender flying marsupial with diarrhea?
A: A Sorbitol Glider.

Q: What was the title of the famous movie about lions with diarrhea so bad it stopped British railroad construction in Africa?
A: Guano Devil.

Zach's Quoted Quote Question

Can you guess where the quote was said and who said it. See the bottom of the paper for the answer...

"It seems I missed my tent on my way to sleep."

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Just as a note, this makes a full year @Action News has been showing our circulation numbers. Yay!

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions. Dear Bearing Up: Who do you think is the best Willie Wonka, Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp?
- R. Dahl

Dear R. Dahl:
I'm rather partial to the Willie Wonka on the candy packages.

Dear Bearing Up:
How do I eat right while on the road?
- Jareth

Dear Jareth:
You can do that by not going to the LEFT SIDE OF THE ROAD.

Dear Bearing Up,
What's a good password that no one will ever guess?
- Morse

Dear Morse:
Why not try 2093u5p1o850213u12305u21350-98210-352 (That's something that no one will guess...not even you!)

Dear Bearing Up,
Who would win if a Smurf fought a G I Joe?
- G. I. Smurf

Dear G.I. Smurf:
Gargamel and Cobra!

Dear Bearing Up:
My friends have been acting wierd lately. The ladies have been putting on peasant's dresses and laced up in bodices, while the men have dressed up like pirates. Why is this?
- J. Siegel

Dear J. Siegel:
Your friends are Rennisance Festival people obviously.

Dear Bearing Up, What Credit card do bears prefer?
- Master Visa

Dear Master Vis

A-BEAR-ICAN express of course!

Dear Bearing Up,
So when do you think Rown and Anjil will tie the knot?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
When When Argon and Mavra have a colt of their own.

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week Argon is asking, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week is, 'Who are more raccoony, coatis or lemurs?"

  • Elericia says, "Coatis!"
  • Nikon yerfs softly, "Coatis. They're in the right family."
  • Andrew nickers, "Coatis."
  • Leowulf says, "I don't know either well enough to have any opinion"
  • Tzolkin doesn't know what a coati is.
  • Jaxen says foxily, "Raccoons are raccoony."
  • Kinsor - I tried asking the lemurs, but I only got a voice mail, I checked with the coati's but they were out for the evening, so I asked the raccoons, but they washed their hands of the whole matter!
  • Speckles says, "Lemurs!"
  • Brassfang hisses, "Raccoonss.."
  • Borris says, "Lemurs are for eating."
  • Zach churrily chirps, "Raccoony Argon, I mean it even says it in the name"
  • Zach churrily chirps, "Coati's are more raccoony, cuz lemurs can come without stripes."
  • Suri - Actually, Qoons and Coatis are both types of Round Lemurs.
  • Austin - Incidentally, for the survey: It's raccoons that are the more coati-ish.

Zach's Quoted Quote Answer

With a wide variety of alfresco furnishings. Check out the biggest selection of chairs, canopies, benches, and gazebos. These items are ready and easy to set up and for every kind of environment from high hills to shining seas. Deveron's Décor, Spindizzy's only outdoor furniture outlet.

Today's location takes us to the beach just east of the Rose Garden. Our spokesfur is just camped out ever so near and the fox named Jaxen.

Congratulation to all of you that guessed right! Oh yeah and folks I am out next week so if any of you care to volunteer and put your own spin on Quotable Quote just talk to me. Thanks, Zach.

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News