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Argon -- Editor

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Feeling, Well Left Out

Last week saw a dramatic change in one of its regulars. Zach ferret some really nifty kicks, was drained of all emotion by Morticon, evil Wallaby and presumed SED Leader.

During the evening Zach was sensing a disturbance at Care-A-Lot and was drawn to the Wishing Well of Feelings. Shady Raccoon along with Elecricia and Andrew joined him to find Morticon desecrating the Hall of Hearts. Using Marissa as a shield he managed to escape out to Care-A-Lot Square. As the heroes were in hot pursuit Morticon threw one of the famed Lemur Quarters at Zach. Zach was struck by the dark coin and seemed to get knocked out.

Elericia and Shady attempted to capture Morticon but Marissa further interfered not realizing the ramifications. The duo, after failing to stop Morticon returned to find Zach an emotionless hull with his feeling displaced by the aforementioned coin. Shady promised to get Zachís feeling back and only charge a small fee for restoring the wishing well.

Shady along with Sanogan and Tzolkin got together the next day trying to determine the whereabouts of Morticon and work on a plan to catch him. Together they arrived at Marissaís place to question her. Upon finding that she knew nothing about where to find Morticon, or even a solution to the dilemma they decided it would be best to devise a trap that Morticon could not resist.

Meanwhile Zach started growing more and more distant to all inhabitants to Spindizzy including Nikon which he commonly referred to as Nikmom. Austin found it rather disturbing listening to the now care-less Zach. Other inhabitants were rather annoyed to angry at what Morticon did, and generally speaking no one was very happy. It seemed as if though Morticon was to succeed in his plot of removing feeling from Spindizzy.

Shady, Andrew, Tzolkin and Vassily set up a Candies for Babies Convention loaded with assortments of sweets as a trap for Morticon. Vassily then engaged Morticon in some conversation at the convention as indeed Morticon couldnít help himself and even have the audacity to steal candy from babies. At this moment the covers were then pulled from a table and Shady along with Andrew attempted to net the Wallaby. DaemonNuit however intervened on behalf allowing Morticon some leeway. Andrew than pulled out a BFG and started blowing things up, no folks were harmed but it was obvious Morticon wasnít going to have such an easy escape. Under suppressive firepower even with DaemonNuit still protecting Morticon eventually gave up.

Zach in the meantime was looking for a means to leave Spindizzy and get back home, thinking if he could leave he might get back to normal. Being emotionless was a danger to all the folks he formerly cared for, he explained to Austin. Austin had pointed out that it was actually rather compassionate to try to save the others from hurting their feelings. Even with Austinís words of encouragement Zach wanted to leave. As Zach was looking around he met up with the group that captured Morticon. Morticon than gave Shady another Lemur Coin and said that the coin would grow shiny and could be given to Zach to restore his emotions, provided Shady cared about him. Morticon than moved a safe distance away to watch and see Shady fail. Shady tried his hardest and it did cause the coin to shine a bit more but not significantly. Tzolkin than added his thoughts and the coin started grow significantly shinier. Seeing that there was enough emotion in the individual Morticon walked off sickened by the sight and decided he needed a vacation.

Zach seemed slightly recovered by the time the group returned to the Rose Garden. To their surprise, Nikon was there and happily added her love to the coin which caused it to shine. Even relative strangers were more than happy to help out with a kind thought and a hug. By the end of the night Zach seemed mostly recovered.

The following day Leslie greeted Zach and the coin shined immensely causing a surge of energy to release from it. The power beamed forth from the coin and fully restored Zach to his chipper upbeat emotional self. Even afterward the coin still remained shiny at which Zach observed that it might be capable of restoring the Wishing Well of Feelings as well.

Zach quickly went around and asked others to add to it. Aushae, Beltrami and others were instrumental in adding even more energies to the coin. With that complete Zach, Gunnlod, Beltrami, Austin, Aushae and Andrew went to Care-A-Lot and the well. The lemur coin was tossed into the fount causing a spectacular sight. The feelings welled up and than restored the reservoir to its former beauty.

Lion hero

Last Saturday in the rose garden, Casandro, local bat-winged lion, heroically saved Nysa, local pre-teen squirrel from certain wallaby doom. Nysa had just been dragged into the fountain by Morticon when Casandro noticed her gone. Casandro bravely tried to resolve the situation diplomatically and than tried threatening Morticon with his paws. This did not work as Morticon then showed his own bigger claws back.

The standoff suddenly changed as Morticon than threatened to force Nysa to eat raw liver. Casandro, free of disgust, offered to eat the liver instead. With the deal struck between the two Morticon than freed Nysa. The lion taking the liver than prepared it with onion and potato mash to the distaste of Morticon. Morticon said that Casandro was cheating but Nysa later pointed out that Morticon didn't say how the liver had to be eaten. Morticon than stomped off and left in a fury. When queried later about the liver, Casandro answered that it was very good, not to hard, and that it is good for fur and mane.

Vixie describes her space ship

You say, "So Vixie, tell us about your spaceship." Vixie says, "It's cute."
Argon says, "I figured that. Is it made of chocolate?"
Vixie says, "Nope, but has a good store of it."
Argon says, "How fast can it go?"
Vixie says, ""Faster than the speed of cute."
Argon says, "Hmmm. What if you have to go to a planet that isn't cute?"
Vixie says, "It will be cute when I'm done with it."
Argon says, "So you'd give away a planet worth of your cuteness?"
Vixie says, "My cuteness spans the universe."
Argon says, "So why are there so many things in the universe that aren't cute?"
Vixie says, "To balance out things that are."

In step with: Portia


This week, we sit down with Portia, local Red Panda.

Portia has arrived.

Portia curtseys to you and smiles,"Hello"

Ba'ar growla, "Thanks for consenting to this interview Portia."

Portia lilts, "It is my pleasure. I am quite shocked and honoured all at once to even being asked."

Ba'ar smiles "My pleasure. It's my goal to interview some of Spindizzy's most interesting and colorful citizens."

Portia lilts, "Well, I suppose I am colourful. Red is quite bright, but interesting I am not sure I would call myself. If I did, I suppose that would mean that I am a bit full of it."

Ba'ar giggles "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Portia lilts, "Oh, as compared to most you have interviewed as of late, fairly short. Only since the beginning of this year, to be more exact."

Ba'ar growla, "Where did you live before, if I may ask?"

Portia lilts, "I am from a world Called Gaea. in the county of Harad, city of Harralt. My father was the lord's bard and a well known Knight by the name of Allon Lee"

Ba'ar growla, "What brought you to Spindizzy? "

Portia lilts, "Oh well, I was traveling in a magic place call Relic when I was seperated from my traveling companions through a portal. And plop, here I was." Ba'ar growla, "How hard has it been to adjust to your new life here in Spindizzy?"

Portia lilts, "Oh well, quite at first. I find that many here don't understand the term manners. My personal boundaries have been crossed more than naught by complete strangers. That has been the most difficult to adjust to. I also just recently had a slumber party hoping to increase my circle of friends and acquaintances, so that helped."

Ba'ar growla, "This one's related to the previous question...I understand red pandas (such as yourself) are rather scarce in Spindizzy. How have you coped with this?"

Portia lilts, "Oh, well most seem to understand about red pandas, Gilead is always giving me bamboo, that is most of my diet of course. And I am not alone you know, Skyler is a lovely pair of slippers and I have had the pleasure of meeting atleast one other red pandas.""

Portia smiles brightly,"and the comments of pandas and punctuations have come up in many a circle

Ba'ar nods "I understand that you recently threw a "Girls Only Sleepover" that was a huge success. You did say that you hoped by doing this you wanted to expand your circle of friends. Any other reason to do it?"

Portia thinks for a bit and smiles,"well, it gave us girls a chance to get together and simply talk. I have always wanted to have one ever since I got hear. See back home, I have about 6 sisters and here it seemed like I hardly knew any females. So it truly was a way to build ties in the female community here on spindizzy." She giggles,"and a chance to talk about boys."

Ba'ar growla, "Do you have any plans to do any other "Girls Only" events? If so what?"

Portia lilts, "Well, there have been talks with Marissa in her hosting a high tea and I know that my party as sparked others to try and plan some of their own. I have even heard that some of the gentlemen of Spindizzy are planning a boy's night event in the near future."

Ba'ar growla, "Just occured to me...are these 'girls only' events not only social events but also a way to introduce the ladies of Spindizzy to the courtly manners you grew up with?"

Portia blushes a bit and mmms,"Well, I would not go so far as to say that, but to some extent, I would have to say yes. I mean, it ladies do not know how to act properly around each other, how can they ever learn to act properly in the company of most of the population.

Ba'ar nods "So tell me...What's a typical day like for you? "

Portia lilts, "well, I wake up in my hammock, look out my window to see who is in the rose garden, climb down my tree and get dressed. Then I spend a few hours studying my spells, doing a bit of light reading with a good cup of green tea and perhaps some pitas with hummus, then I go to the Rose garden, talk to a few people, tell someone to not touch me with such familiarity and then perhaps have a friend over for tea and conversation.""

Ba'ar growla, "You're a bit of a magician? What kind of magic do you specialize in?"

Portia lilts, "I am a 5 circle Journeyman mage specializing in invocation magic. Mostly fireballs, walls of fire, unseen servant.. anything really that comes from another plane of existance. I am also an herbalist and find great satifaction in the healing aspects of plants"

Ba'ar growla, "Is this magic learned or does this magic come naturally? Is magic common where you're from?"

Portia lilts, "Oh magic is common yes.. and it is learned for me. We are taught how to use the magic entoned to us through our spellbooks and how to harnass it. It takes dedication and practice."

Ba'ar nods "What part of Spindizzy would you change if you could *he smiles* Other than, of course, the uncouth manners of us boys?

Portia lilts, "Oh, well, the libraries. I would like to have one large library with books from every known author in the universe. I really am quite fond of reading and knowledge, it is a weakness for me." She mms,"Perhaps that should be my goal in life, a library for the world.""

Ba'ar grins "Reading's my weakness too. When I see a book I CANNOT RESIST picking it up and thumbing through it. Now then."

Ba'ar growla, "Who do you admire the most? "

Portia mms,"Oh, that is a tough question. In general, or here?"

Ba'ar growla, "In general"

Portia lilts, "Oh well, I admire my mother, Listeria Lee, having to put of with 8 kids, a bardic flighty husband and still be able to keep her woodsman duties. I have to salute my mom." Ba'ar growla, "Who do you admire here?"

Portia lilts, "Oh, well, Gilead, it amazes me that he can switch moods at the drop of the hat, extremely witty, always helpful, kind, sweet, and resilient. "

Portia lilts, "Definitely good qualities in a furson"

Ba'ar nods "He's one heckuva punster too (but of course I won't hold that against him) (he smiles)"

Ba'ar growla, "If given the chance, would you return to your home kingdom?"

Portia lilts, "Well, yes, but I would want to come back here too. I miss my family, but I would miss Whose line, tv, radio, all the neat gadgets... it is like living in a story"

Ba'ar nods "Do you have any plans for the future?"

Portia lilts, "Oh yes, I hope to do more writing, perhaps get some things into the newsletter, work on the library, and perhaps one day I'll find a that special someone and have them help me with things."

Ba'ar growla, "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"

Portia blushes deeply at that and says,"Well, let me see."

Ba'ar grins "Or would you have to kill me if you told me?"

Portia lilts, "That I have not been out on a real date. Ever."

Portia lilts, "I was trying to tell you something that wouldn't embarass me too much to reveal"

Ba'ar growla, "What? A beautiful and cultured lady like you? I'd guess you'd have a million suitors breaking down your door. *he winks at Portia*"

Portia blushes deeply,"Maybe after this interview." She laughs as her black fur turns rosey

Ba'ar grins "Red goes well with black , you know."

Ba'ar growla, "Now then..one more question. Do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Portia wraps her tail about her and combs through it nervously.

Portia lilts, "Never be ashamed or scared to state your opinions to others when it it something you truly believe in. Just be polite about it."

Ba'ar smiles "That concludes our interview. Again, thanks for doing it."

Portia lilts, "No problem. I am still a bit surprised to have been asked."

Ba'ar smiles "My pleasure."

Gilead's Otterly Ridiculous Puns

What do you call a mustelid in a sausage skin?
A1: An Otwurst.
A2: Or an Ot Link.

Q: What do you call a male mustelid with cubs?
A: A Fotter.

Q: What do you call a girl mustelid with cubs?
A: Their Motter.

Q: And what is their female cub called?
A: Their Dotter.

Q: And what does she call their male cub?
A: Her Brotter.

Q: What do you call a mustelid living in Phoenix, AZ?
A: A Hotter.

Q: What do you call a mustelid that's all curled up with itself?
A: A Knotter.

Q: What kind of mustelid draws graphs?
A: A Plotter.

Q: What kind of mustelid takes quick notes?
A: A Jotter.

Q: If you can't get this weasel, what should you do?
A: Get anotter.

Q: Which mustelid found gold at his mill?
A: Sotter.

Q: Which mustelid wears cool black armor and chokes people with his mind?
A: Darth Votter.

Q: What kind of mustelid holds machines together?
A: A Cotter Pin.

Q: What kind of mustelid teaches Sweat Hogs?
A: Welcome Back, Kotter.

Q: What kind of mustelid works with clay?
A: A Potter.

Q: What kind of weasel has good eyesight?
A: A Spotter.

Q: What kind of mustelid soaks up ink?
A: A Blotter.

Q: What should you say when you grab a female mustelid?
A: Got 'er!

Q: What do you call a really small mustelid?
A: An Iotter.

Zach's Quoted Quote Question

Can you guess where the quote was said and who said it. See the bottom of the paper for the answer...

"Fiperoce Annizabe. Perfect!"

This week in history

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

Newspaper Circulation Report

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

Just as a note, this makes a full year @Action News has been showing our circulation numbers. Yay!

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

Bearing Up

Bearing Up logo.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Bear Bearing Up,
I saw a show on TV about a device that claims to giveyou 'free energy'. Can this be true?
- Wes Tinghouse

Dear Wes Tinghouse:
It doesn't work...in fact, it'll be the MOST EXPENSIVE "free energy" solution you will ever get.

Dear Bearing Up,
Can you do the Peter Panda dance?
- P. Panda

Dear P. Pand
No, but I can (yeah! yeah!) Do the Har-lem Shuf-fle!

Dear Bearing up:
Is it fair when stopped by a police officer for a centaur to get out of his truck and look down at the cop and convince him not to give the centaur a ticket?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
No, because cops have the right to give tickets.

Dear Bearing Up:
What is the biggest TV set ever made?
- D. Forest

Dear D. Forest: With all the TV-to-movie remakes (Honeymooners, Bewitched, etc) coming out this summer, I'd say it was your local theatre screen.

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week is, 'Although no one could portray the voice of Tigger like Paul Winchell, what SpinDizzian's voice sounds like the bouncy tiger?"

  • Vassily says, "Not mine."
  • Eliahn yips, "Definitely not mine. I would be incapable of doing a Tigger impersonation without having to go hide in a closet for three decades."
  • Vassily says, "It would be amusing to think of Morticon as having that voice, but he doesn't."
  • Zach bets it is Beltrami though.
  • Mouser hmms. Well, he knows HE doesn't sound like Tigger...
  • Marissa purrs, "I can't think of anyone I'd think was Tiger-like. "
  • Zach think Gilead does pretty good but still will give it to Kern for his general excitableness
  • Andrew nickers, "I think Nimble would probably be closest Argon."
  • Beltrami wrote out, "Austin."
  • Jake said, "I've never heared Tigger."
  • Wulphe said, "I can't think of anyone, Leslie, sorry."
  • Ouroboros also said, "I'm afraid I have no idea."
  • Patch O'Black said, "I think Gilead could do a good Tigger voice."
  • Aushae said, "Well, for bounciness, I doubt many can beat our Beltrami... especially now she has slipped into rooness...Though... I don't know if she's make a better 'Kanga' or 'Roo' though... "
    PatchO'Black said Beltrami doesn't have any voice and then Aushae picked up Beltrami and squeaked her between her wings so Beltrami made a lot of vinyl chubbling and squealing noises, then she said, "I think she can be quite eloquent, sometimes... ;} Not everyone can understand balloon- squeals..
  • Nikon said, "I don't know anyone on Spindizzy, but I do know a fur who can. A nice bear in Kansas City by the name of Hikaru. He does a very good Kermit, Mickey, Goofy..."
  • Violet maahs, "Ya know...that's a real hard one. As much as I love the folks here...I have ta say no one can really take the place of the orginal... Blessings to Paul Winchell, I hope he's fond a nice bouncy place in the sky."

Thanks to @Action News reporter Leslie who helped greatly in getting answers to the survey this week!

Zach's Quoted Quote Answer

Zach's Quoted Quote Answer

No matches were found for an advertiser, we now return you to our regularly scheduled article.

Today's location takes us to a place that none of you should know, except to those of you that were there. This quote takes place at S2 E6 the unnamed island discovered by Zach and Tzolkin and explored by... Well lets see if you can figure it out from the words. Our quote comes from whistling trouble making dolphin Findra.

The bonus words stands for Findra, Pete, Roofus_Roo, Ceralor, Andrew, Nikon, Zach, and Beltrami.

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

The International CXT© is a very large "pickup truck" that still isn't large enough for most centaurs.

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News