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Argon -- Editor

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'Coonlective Defined

Argon, local centaur but presently a raccoontaur, found himself in that form last week due to the actions of Nikon, local six inch raccoon. Nikon enabled Argon to join the 'Coonlective, by changing him into a female raccoontaur. Argon seemed to adapt quickly to the raccoon life as described in last week's @Action News.

Argon's absorption into the 'Coonlective led him, after returning to his normal male centaur form, to interview Nikon.

Argon asked, "So, tell me about the 'Coonlective."
Nikon said softly, "There's really not that much to say... I found a way to merge with someone, via the flubber, and make them a duplicate or close to a duplicate to me."
Argon asks, "Oh. So it's like they become you?"
Nikon replied, "Yes, in a way, but I've been able to control it now that I've done more than one, so they just become a sister or brother."
Argon asks, "And they become raccoony?"
Nikon says softly, "Very much so, as you experienced."
Argon asks, "What is being raccoony like?"
Nikon says softly, "Well for one, you like being up at night, then there's the shiney thing...."
Argon asks, "So what does flubber have to do with it?"
Nikon says softly, "It makes it easier to merge."
Argon asks, "But don't you lose some raccoonyness when you merge?"
Nikon giggles. "Nope. I'm too cute to lose any."
Argon asks, "So what's the best thing about being a raccoon, Nikon?"
Nikon says softly, "Ah, that's easy. Being CUTE!"
Argon nods, "And what's the worst thing about being a raccoon?
Nikon says softly, "Hmmmm... I can't really think of one. Well, there is Shiney overload, but that's not that bad."
Argon asks, "Too many shinies? Is that possible?"
Nikon says softly, "That it is, though it usually takes a dragon's hoard to do that."
Argon asks, "So, what would you say to folks to get them to join your 'Coonlective?"
Nikon says softly, "The Coonlective is for anyone who wants to be cute and fuzzy, and wants a family here."
Nikon says softly, "Do you have any other questions?"
You said, "Well, not really. Anything else you'd like to say?"
Nikon says softly, "That's about it."
You said, "Ok then. Thanks, Nikon. This will be a good article."

Nikon then gave Argon a snug, hoping to trigger the raccoon inside him.

And it did! The interview ended with Nikon returning Argon to raccoon form. And he was male this time!

Bear Attempts to Return Argon to Centaur Form

This event took place before the interview above. Ed.

On evening of April 7, 2004 an intervention was decided to be performed on Argon Centaur, so as to be returning him to normal Centaur. So Borris is building box to be doing so. After much building and adding of this and that, including Bug Zapper and Circular Saw, box was finished and Argon was stuffed inside. When first turned on, was no power so Borris has to push light pole over and wire box into pole power.

When main power was turned on, was much sounds, noises and smells, then Box blew up and out popped Argon Centaur, but was female. Which was good start, then Argon turned into frog, most puzzling for Borris, so Borris is pouring Chernobyl Vodka on frog, since is having strange effects on some furs. Then Borris rebuilds box, Bigger and better, with over drive this time. And also is adding hay.

Then is turning main switch back on, is again much noise and sounds and smell of Ozone, when Overdrive is turned on, and lights in park dimmed. After counting 50, Borris is turning box off and opening, and is Argon Centaur as should be, but is also waiting to see if is changing back or into other type of fur, reptile or fish even. But does seem this time, change is taking permanent, although Argon is complaining about thinking of flies. Ah well, is always something. But at least Argon is Centaur now, and not Coontaur any more.

Kern Describes Nice Place to Visit

Kern, local Clockwork inca tern, described a place called Calypso to a spellbound group in the Rose Garden this week. Apparently having been shown around there by Ing, local Imaginary Clockwork Raven, Kern elucidated the virtues of Calypso.

"Ing was telling me all about it. A week ago too." Kern said.

Gryphe, local dragoness asked, "Really?"

Kern blink-click-blinked..."Yeah. It's big and silvery and there's a lot of vines on the ground that make good nesting. And there's bells that sound every hour so you never get too far off tuning and remember to wind again. There's cats but they have slinky arms so they can reach up high but they're pretty weak, and if you fly away fast enough they have to let go."

The tern continued, "There's neat rivers of ball bearings that roll down from the mountains every spring when the springs melt, and it's a good place there to wash and meet friends and fill up for the year too. Then comes the fall when gravity's extra heavy, so you have to hide out in a tree until it's all gone. Then the thermals are weaker too, but easier to find."

Kern said, "Not everybody figures that out the first time around. That's why you have to have somebody like Ing who knows all this stuff to warn you and show you all the best parts."

Gryphe murred, "..Wow."

Kern said, "There's four moons and they all swing around each other so it looks like a watch, but the time they have is wrong so nobody uses them."

Austin, local coati asked, "But it's Ing who really knows this sort of thing."

Kern replied, "Yeah! Ing could tell you all sorts of stuff about the place. Like where to find the boat island."

Austin inquired,"That's on a really huge boat, Kern?"

Kern said, "Nope! It's a normal-size boat but it's a really tiny island!"

Kern continued to explain the wonders of Calypso as Ing watched silently. Kern and Ing are usually seen together (birds of a feather perhaps?) with Kern being the more vocal and outgoing of the pair. They are great story tellers as you can see.

Austin's 'Ringtail' Status Questioned

Austin, local coati, and cousin of ringtails and raccoons, had his association with procyonids questioned.

Kern, local clockwork inca tern, started the discussion as it was leaving,

Austin said, "Night, Kern."

Kern then said to Austin, "Thanks puffytail!"

Austin said, "I'm really a ringtail, you know."

Kern replied, "Are not."

Austin said, "I am too, Kern."

Kern says, "If you're a ringtail you'd have a ringtail. You have a puffytail so you're a puffytail."

Austin said, "Yes, granted, Kern, but normally I have a ringtail."

Kern stated, "Never saw you with one."

To which Austin said, "Well, yes, I haven't had it for a while."

Rose, local raccoon noted that she has a ringtail.

Tami, local coyote pointed out that she has a shaggytail.

Kern then asked Austin, "So you're not a ringtail?"

Austin answered, "Right, not now, but I really am. I just have to trade it for my real tail."

Kern then skip-hoped up to Austin and grabed his tail in its beak!

Austin, as you can imagine, reacted appropriotly by saying, "Yeowps!"

Kern then observed, "That's real, so it's your real tail, and you're a puffytail and that's not a ringtail."

Kern points its beak at Rose. "That's a ringtail, and the shaggytail's right too."

Kern points at PatchO'Black,local Jellicle cat, "That's a slinkytail."

Kern then quirked its head at Gryphe, local dragoness, "Ing knows what kind of bird you are besides shy."

To which Gryphe replied, "I'm a dragon!"

Roofus_roo said, "And I'm just me. Yay."

Kern pointed at Roofus_Roo. "Springtail." Kern then asked Gryphe, "Dragging what?"

PatchO'Black mews, "I'm not a slinkytail. I have a Jellicle tail!"

Austin then said, "All right, yes, you have it all sorted out, Kern. But this tail's just a rental. My real tail is a ringtail."

Kern said, "Okay...so put it on."

Austin said, "I can't; I don't have it."

Kern, looking confident in its thoughts stated, "Puffytail."

Austin, shrugging, sighed, "I give up. *Temporary* puffytail."

Kern clicked proudly at its semantic victory!

Weekend Party

An extravagant gala was held in the Rose Garden Saturday. Aishae, local dragoness, held the party to celebrate a lot of family occasions, including some adoptions. Folks visiting the Rose Garden were treated to a huge buffet of delicious food.

Catered by Butterfluff, local sea lion, the food was delicious and the variety was amazing.

The party lasted until presstime and this reporter regrets that most of the witnesses were asleep from overeating by the time he was able to interview them.

Apollo 13

Apollo 13 patch.

The third launch of the Apollo space program happened on 11 April, 1970, with Jim Lovell, Fred Haise, and Jack Swiggert. News coverage was minimal -- NASA had managed to make spaceflight boring.

Then, on 13 April, something exploded in the service module. Apollo 13 lost most of its oxygen and power, and the mission profile altered from "land on the moon and return" to "get them back alive."

With new problems constantly coming up, it was a challenge both to the ground crew and the astronauts. But...

At Tee plus one hundred forty-three, fifty four
Apollo Thirteen hit the waters
Three men returned home, shaken up, but alive,
To their wives and their sons and their daughters.
---Ballad of Apollo 13 by William Warren, Jr.

For more information, both the book Lost Moon by James Lovell and the movie Apollo 13 which is based on the book, are very informative.


Hoping to best exploit the growing tourist industry, local snake merchant BarterGarter has started to explore SpinDizzy, as part of a scheme to self-produce new, easy-to-navigate icon maps to be sold to newly arrived guests.

Due to the scale of the task (no pun intended), the new SpinDizzy map is currently proceeding slowly. Thus, BarterGarter has turned to local community spirit for help.

SpinDizzy regulars will find a copy of the map in progress and available on-line. If you own one of SpinDizzy’s main site locations, and wish for your room to have a better icon or description, send me your proposals via page #mail (page #mail BarterGarter) or e-mail to toonbat@yahoo.com.

Please make sure that your icon proposals are 48x48 pixels in size, and that your room descriptions are no larger than ten words or less.”

Caption Contest

Cadbury chocolate Easter bunny.Well, Easter is here and all over the country, Cadbury © Chocolate Bunnies. Like this one fresh in its box, have met their fate.

I asked for captions for this image, but recived none. So. the result was this

You have only yourselves to blame.

Bearing Up

Ba'ar.Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That" s me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up,
The price of honey is going through the roof? What's causing this?
-- B. Hunny

Dear Hunny:
It is a governmental conspiracy to make us bears go on a diet.

Dear Bearing Up,
Should I plant lilacs or sunflowers in my garden?

Dear Seedy:
Neither. Roses.

Dear Bearing Up:
With everyone all worried and excited about Austin's April Fools joke, what's the best way to calm folks down?
-- Wiz Wannabe

Dear Wiz Wannabe:
You can't. Furs of Spindizzy as a rule believe almost anything they're told.

Dear Bearing Up:
Nikon changed me into a female Raccoontaur, and Mavra is a bit upset. What should I do?
-- Argon

Dear Argon:
Get Nikon to change Mavra into a male Raccoontaur. That should take care of things.

Dear Bearing Up,
Which is better, a plush teddy bear or a plush skunk?
-- P. Lush

Dear P.Lush.
A Teddy Bear's always better. It's larger and thus there's better to cuddle - My personal preference every time.

Dear Bearing Up:
It's been several weeks since the SED was purchased by Argon. Do you think this is the end of Morticon and his nefarious deeds?
-- Hero

Dear Hero:
I would count Morti and company down, but not out. Be on your guard always.

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Newspaper Circulation Report

Graphic of @Action News website hits.

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation. Even with little mention of the publication outside of the muck, @Action News, in the last week, averaged just over 450 hits per day. A month averages over 4000 hits. Doubling last year's monthy average of 2000 hits.

Although the count includes multiple hits from the same computer, and I, as editor, view it quite often on Fridays and Saturdays as I place stories and check code, it still has a fairly sizable number of hits for the type of publication it is.

Thanks to all of you who have made @Action News a success!

Editor, @Action News

Weekly Survey

Argon doing the survey.This week, Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News The question this week is, "Astronomers have discovered a new planet and named it after you. What's the planet like?"

  • Annon mnms, "Gold covered."
  • Jessie-Tiger says, "My planet would be a technological wonderland, with glowing mountain peaks and luminescent rivers of energy and fractal landscapes that went on infinitely... A recursive function shaping a sphere's surface, forever."
  • Skyler says, "In 1994, it's split in half by a runaway planet, hurtled between it and its moon, unleashing cosmic destruction. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice!"
  • Gem snickers. "Now, that's a bit of a useless question, in my case. :> Let's just say it would have an astronomical gemological value..."
  • Butterfluff says, "Eccentric orbit, but average temperature about earth's. Several large moons. Very vocal wildlife. Spectacular sunsets."
  • Borris says, "Is easy, big ball of ice with lots of food on it for Polar Bears ;)"
  • Adara purrs, "It's warm and fuzzy, but sometimes it can cold and judgmental."
  • Mouser hehs, "A wormhole."
  • PatchO'Black answers the @Action News survey, "It would be a Jellicle planet, with crystal mountain ranges and buildings. Also lots of great crops and treats!
  • Tanuki barks, "Tanuki no Planet would be a place with trees of a lot of different sizes, and a lot of hills and mountains that change every time you visit... and people there would sing a lot for no reason.
  • Lupinetiger wurfs, "Guess a place full of Thylacines and other supposedly extinct animals humans thought were dead?"
  • Darius says, "Lets see. A new planet. It would be called.....Darius...sounds good enough by itsself to be a planet name. what would be on it...A magical land similair to a souped up japan. and full of ferrets."
  • Felina mews, "A half metal planet."
  • Terra myrrs, "It's warm, and snuggly, and is covered completely in lush, white fur. There's no life forms on this planet, because it bathes and flea-dips daily, but it's sure to make you feel good when you snug it!"
  • Tarka says, "Dark and Black and full of Dispair and barran lands."
  • Sunshine -- [in answer to the survey] Hostile and dangerous on the back, warm and inviting on the front!
  • <

The Doze Garden

Here's the World War I Cyber Cheetah, enjoying R&R after another grueling cat... err... dogfight with the Red Baron.

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page @Action or sdnews about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren" t out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported dont have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News