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Argon -- Editor

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Austin Resigns as Head Wizard

For many, reading Austin, local coati and Head Wizard's, post on Thursday of this week caught them by surprise;

44} Austin Yesterday [38] -- Austin's resignation, with all of love
From: Austin 09:55:44 04/01/04 PST

This is maybe the hardest thing I could have written, but I couldn't put it off another day.

When I came to Toons, Furr, and Fluff nearly seven years ago I had no idea I was becoming involved in something that would be so intense, and passionate, and overwhelming. I've known more people, been loved by more, loved more wholeheartedly and more fully than any person has the right to expect. I owe you all more than I can ever repay.

But the simple fact is I have been growing older and more stale; Spindizzy has been growing larger and more complex, and the truth is that I'm no longer up to giving Spindizzy the attention, the care, the administrative insight, and the inspirational leadership needed by our community. I am therefore resigning, effective 9 p.m. Spindizzy Time today.

This is painful, but must be done. I'm afraid I won't answer any questions about my decision; I'm certain that it's correct and must abide by it. Accordingly I will connect about 9 p.m. Spindizzy Time, to say my goodbyes, turn over my wizbit, and give the password to Amalfi to Morticon as new head wizard, and to a special, dear friend I've asked to train to be the new Managing Editor. (Please allow me the ego to think two people will be needed to fill all my roles.)

I regret that, to give the new wizard and Morticon a chance to carve out their own identity and authority, I will not return to Spindizzy except as my secret alt Dolly for some long while. My presence would unavoidably serve to concentrate attention and loyalty, which I appreciate, but which must be given to new leadership. I will not do anything to distract from them; and I beg each of you to give them the love, the loyalty, the concern and the energy you have given me.

I leave my keys, and seven years of my life on the desk.

Austin Dern

This post caused quite the stir among the residents who regularly read the message board. There was much worry, anguish and gnashing of teeth as the appointed hour crept slowly closer.

Once 9 pm muck time arrived, Austin did connect, as did Amalfi. Everyone met in Chanspot's Activity room, and the process of saying goodbye and the transfer of Amalfi's password to Morticon began.

Austin began by saying, "I catalyzed it (SpinDizzy), certainly, but it's all of you who *created* it, and it's time that I step aside and let the true artists have their glory, withough demanding it to myself. It's going to be different ... it always would be, though, and I'm more confident now than I have ever been before that I'm doing this at the right time, and for the right people, and with the right reasons."

"So ... let me just say this next bit, as my last words before resigning..."
Austin thinks this over... hang on.

Austin shouted "Let me just say this, to all of you, my last words before resigning..." (Wiz-shout)

Austin's shaking, in real life... he's lucky he's sitting.
Ba'ar growled, "Go ahead Austin."
Darius said, "Don't be afraid. It will come."
Austin said, "You sure?"
Ba'ar nodded "We're your friends, Austin."
Darius nods and smiles. "Of course Austin. I'm sure you can."
Darius pats Austin's shoulder, and gives him a thumbs up, smiling.
Ba'ar pads over to Austin and puts his paw on the coati's shoulder.

Ba'ar growls, "Laugh Austin... Laughter's a good tension reliever."
Morticon looks to Austin a bit sadly.

Austin nods ... here goes ...

Austin shouts "APRIL FOOL!" (Wiz-shout)

The relief was like a tidal wave washing over the crowd. PatchO'Black, local Jellicle cat, danced, Chanspot, local coffeefossa, grinned, Morticon grinned and laughed heartily.... the longest he's laughed here in a while...

Austin heheheheeeeees!
Roofus_roo says, "I knew it!"
Nimble giggles
Tarka leans over and bites Austin on the foot.
Myrla faints
Butterfluff tosses rotten tomatos at Austin.
Morticon says, "Come on, you wouldn't think *I* would be the head wiz, now would you?"
PatchO'Black chirps, "Didn't I say so? Didn't I?"

The group continued celebrating and saying "I knew it was a joke." to one another until long into the evening, or afternoon depending on where you are. The joke reached closure with the following post,

46) Austin Yesterday [12] -- My retirement... April Fool!
From: Austin 22:05:07 04/01/04 PST

My announcement of retirement was, of course, an April Fool's prank, as -- I'm assured -- everyone realized after thinking about it for a minute or two. Well, thank you all for playing along so very well, and I'll just have to try to think of a prank for next year that actually scares a few people into believing instead.

Thanks for the fun time, every one of you.

Austin Dern, who's not going anytime soon.

Argon Joins 'Coonlective

Argon, up to recently local centaur, was convinced by Nikon, local six inch raccoon, to join what she calls the, "'Coonlective". Nikon used her powers to change Argon into a raccoontaur, like his former shape, a centaur, but with raccoon upper and lower bodies. The change included the pride of the raccoon race, a fluffy ringed tail.

Argon adapted quickly, and found being a raccoontaur to be very interesting. Having soft, flexible paws rather than hooves allowed the soft grass to be felt. Plus, having claws allowed Argon to climb trees. This was something that had been impossible with hooves.

Mavra, local centaur and Argon's fiance, was surprised by the centaur's new form, however she took it in stride. She has, however, forced Argon to sleep outside, as his nocturnal wanderings through the house, and his (now supressed) habit of washing Fizzies in the toilet were keeping her awake. As expected, Argon was attracted to shiny things, but hating to be lowered to stereotypical behavior (as was true as a centaur), she is trying to resist this.

That's right, she. Nikon's change of Argon's form included a change in gender. Argon has found this to be a small inconvenience. Mavra's thoughts on this were unavailable for publication.

Event Attempted to be Reconstructed For Newspaper Article

Darius, local ferret, asked Argon, local raccoontaur, if the previous evening's 'coon puns would be featured in @Action News. The puns had started after Argon's absorption into the "Coonlective". As no record of the event had been made, Argon suggested the event be re-staged.

The results follow;

Darius says, "Can I be in the pun section of the @action because of all the coon things last night?"
Argon churrrs, "Yes, do you have the log?"
Darius meeps. He does not.
Austin says, "'Event Attempted To Be Reconstructed For Newspaper Article'."
Argon churrrs, "Hey, can you just write them down from memory, Darius?"
Darius says, "I can remember a few of them."
Butterfluff says, "And if more come to mind, so much the better?"
You chrrr, "So, tell us!"
Darius eeps. "Right now?"
You chrrr, "Sure."
Argon shows off her raccooniness, "What's so funny?"
Argon grins. Darius says, "Lets see...There was silly rabbit Shinys are for coons. That's what started it all."
Darius says, "Then there was Argon Of Coon. Your shinys will be assimiliated."
Darius says, "Um... to be Coon-tinued."
Darius says, "Captian of the coon armada"
Darius says, "Argon-coon. Lord of coons."
Darius says, "Coon being a play of the suffice Kun of japanese usage."
Darius says, "The lord of the shiny. Fellowship of the coons?"
Darius says, "Children of the coon."
PatchO'Black churrs, "Lord of the Ringtails: Return of the Coon."
Butterfluff says, "Coontact."
KitV growls, "Robin Coon: men in Rings"
( We're coons! We're coons in space! Moving along saving the coony race! )
You chrrr, "Raccoon astronauts would go to Saturn, obviously."
KitV groans at Argons saturn joke
Gryphe murrs, "All your Coon are belong to us?"
Darius says, "Yoy have no chance to survief make your shiny!"
Darius says, "Day of the coon."
PatchO'Black churrs, "That would be Night of the Living Coon."
Airborn says, "Oh yes Captain Coon from RingTreck."
KitV growls, "The Three Coonmigos"
Aishae sultrily sibilates, "Frankencoon, The Godcooner, BatCoon, CoonWars, the phantom ringtails..."
PatchO'Black churrs, "I liked Dr. McCoon, myself..."
KitV growls, "King Coon"
Aishae sultrily sibilates, "Coonzilla..."
KitV growls, "James Coon: Shinyeye"
Aishae sultrily sibilates, "CinderCoona, Coon White and the seven shineys, 101 Coonations..."
Darius says, "The coon and the hound."
Darius says, "Winnie the coon."
Darius says, "The Coontrix."
Darius says, "Coonmare of Coonstreet." KitV growls, ": grins"
Darius says, "Coon Coon Shinylution."
Airborn says, "Shall we move on to other puns?"
Darius says, "We coon't do that."

This went on for quite some time to the the horror of some, and the enjoyment of others. Next week, puns on the term "antidisestablishmentarianism."

Caption Contest

Cadbury chocolate Easter bunny.Easter is coming, and bunnies all over the land, including Findra, I'd bet, are preparing for next weekend. Also preparing for the day are Cadbury © Chocolate Bunnies. Like this one fresh in its box.

So how about a caption for this picture? What is the bunny saying, or thinking. Does it know its fate? What should be added to the picture.

Send your answer to Carl or SDN through page #mail on SpinDizzy, or e-mail it to argon@spindizzy.org.


Bearing Up

Ba'ar.Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That" s me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
What does it take to become a Spindizzy Wizard?
--- Wizard Wannabe

Dear Wizard Wannabe:
To become a Spindizzy Wizard, all you need is the patience of Job, The enlightenment of Buddha, and the friendliness of a TV Game Show Host.

Dear Bearing Up: How do I make my Life- weaving business more... attractive to the general spindizzinan public...?
--- Curious

Dear Curious:
Do market research to find out what your customers want, then fill that need.

Dear Bearing Up:
Do you think there is a problem with Spindizzy? If so, how would you fix it?

Dear Confused:
There are no problems. Spindizzy is as perfect a place as it can possibly be.

Dear Bearing Up:
How do I become an advice columnist like yourself?
--- Dear Abby

Dear Abby:
The best advice is...Don't. Who listens to us Advice Columnists anyway?

Dear Bearing Up:
If a pin drops in the Rose Garden when no one is there, does it make a sound?
--- Zen

Dear Zen:
No it wouldn't The pin would be cushioned by the dirt.

Dear Bearing Up:
My cub wants to read the online comic The Grizzwells, is this a good idea?
--- Mother Bear

Dear Mother Bear:
It is NOT! It perpetuates the stereotype of bears being lazy, garbage pail raiding, sloppy oafs. Avoid this comic at all costs.

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Weekly Survey

BarterGarter doing the survey.This week, BarterGarter asked, I'm doing a survey for @Action News. This week's survey by BarterGarter asked, " If you had a piñata made of your character, what would it be filled with?"

  • Austin snickers ... "That's ... almost gruesome, Sunshine."
  • Tanuki barks, "That's easy. Air."
  • Nimble chitters quietly, "Bright happy shiney things, and heart shaped candies as well."
  • Argon says, "Hmm... Hershey's kisses. The nutty ones."
  • Tanuki barks, "Meal, Ready to Eat. Military rations."
  • Gilead hmms. "Fish would be pretty gross raining down on little kids." Gilead supposes Swedish gummi fish would be more appropriate.
  • Rown says, "Mine would be filled with wine BG."
  • Jack says, "I think mine, would be full o' riceballs and small candies."
  • Morticon says, "Poison needles."
  • Ba'ar growls, "Honey."
  • Mouser says, "Pixy-Stix. I don't think anything else would fit..."
  • Sunshine says, "Salt lick!"
  • Cye says, "CHOCOLATE!"
  • Criatura Castle's humongous piñata would be filled with gummy worms, of course!
  • Slug clicks, "Nothing. I'm a zen piñata."
  • Butterfluff says, "Mardi Gras beads and doubloons."
  • Aleu mrrs, "Nothing would come out for me. I'm selfish. But if something would positively MUST fall out... I'd say it would be assorted furry dollies."
  • Terry -- Bertie Botts Every-Flavor Beans!

The Doze Garden

Borris enjoys a quiet dinner.

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page @Action or sdnews about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren" t out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported dont have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News