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Argon -- Editor

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'Foxes Are Evil' Rumor Refuted

A story has been rumored around SpinDizzy that there is hard, scientific evidence that foxes are evil, and gay too! It is true Foxes are carnivores, but not evil! And how would Foxes reproduce if they were gay? The scientist quoted in the article had the worst fake German accent I've ever heard!

This story is completely untrue as Foxes do lots of good deeds, like helping old Hedgehogs cross the street, cleaning up after themselves after picnics and driving on the right side of the road. And, as a public service, they regularly take care of any evil Wallabies lying in wait.

The Fox population of SpinDizzy quickly disassociated themselves from this claimed evil-ness of their group. Admiral Alicia Vulpnine, quickly announced that she was not evil, and and Cye, a rather large Fox, claimed she was too cute to be evil.

Witchshade, local witch, said she would be happy to get rid of evil Foxes if SpinDizzy residents round them up and give them all to her for her next concoction.

Arkitah Eats Soul: Supreme Being Gets Mad!

Arkitah, local bumbling magical being of mysterious origins, offended the Supreme Being last week when he ate Professor Woah's soul.

Arkitah claimed that Woah started the affair when he came upon some mysterious documents that supposedly held the secrets to vanquishing beings of the same species of Arkitah; beings he claimed to be called "arks."

"When I sent my phantasmal letters to @Action News I accidentally wrote on the back of documents that held the secrets to my destruction," Arkitah told our reporters. "Ironically, Woah's attempt to use these against me has brought these documents back into my posession, which turned out to be quite convenient once I ate Woah's soul and took possession of his body. I used the ark secrets in these documents to change Woah's body into a proper ark body- so basically, everything is back to normal."

Arkitah did not comment when it was pointed out to him that, according to his own letter, he had been attacking Woah’s dreams for a long time before Woah even attempted to attack Arkitah.

Arkitah then said that he wished to thank a “wonderful” enchantress who came to his rescue when Woah was about to destroy him using those documents, then stated that he wished to keep this 'good Samaritan’s' identity secret, to protect her from the 'Supreme Being'.

The Supreme Being was not amused.

“Arkitah’s rampage has gone on long enough,” s/he stated in his/her official press release. “I am preparing an army of divine angels to smite him. They will smite him good.”

Some members of the media chuckled at the being’s words, then became silent when they found themselves transformed into the cast of Dinotopia performing Shakespeare on Ice. It was a terrible display. It seemed they learned not to mock the this Supreme Being.

The Supreme Being added, "And when the Angels are done smiting Arkitah, I will smite him myself. Then I will banish this demon to the abyss where he belongs and take back all the souls that this creature has eaten. There is no escape from the Supreme Being, and I am making the destruction of the monster that calls himself Arkitah (almost) my top priority.”

Arkitah, upon hearing the harsh words of the Supreme Being stated, “Come on! I didn’t mean any harm. Can’t an ark catch a break? I need a vacation.”

Admiral Vulpnine Planning Voyage To Spengo

For years the orbiting satellite around Spindizzy has intrigued toons, furs and other residents of SpinDizzy. What is it? Is there life there?

Although a near fatal 'accident' during a test of Alicia Vulpnine's experimental space craft last week resulted it's destruction, reconstruction of a more advanced vehicle is nearly complete. The Admiral announced that she is planning on a one fur expedition to the Moon island known as Spengo. (That small little island in the SpinDizzy ASCII Art. Though discovered already, this small island has yet to be explored. Alicia hopes to be the first to set paw on it, but for how long she'll stay is a mystery.

Local Otter Recovering Well

Local Seal, now Otter, Gilead has recovered well from a broken flipper. Gilead, after becoming a female Seal for the SpinDizzy Beach party, dropped a 50 lb. bag of emu chow on her flipper. This injury caused her to become 'stuck' in her female Seal form.

Although somewhat inconvinient, having to eat far more than she did in her Otter form, Gilead claimed that she was more inconvinienced by her broken flipper than by the change in gender and species. Otters, being Sea Mammals are similar in some ways to Otters and allowed Gilad to adapt to the change fairly easily.

This week however, reports indicated that Guilead's flipper had healed well, and as soon as the cast was removed, she returned to his normal form, that of an Otter, and gender, male. He claims the experience was enlightening, but is quite happy to be back to normal.

Scooby Doo Review

Well, I went to see Scooby Doo last Sunday (June 16th, 2002), caught a matinee showing at 12:30 PM for $5.50. I have to say, I would have willingly payed the full $7.75 to see it. This movie is awesome. It takes the old Scooby Doo cartoon, makes it real life, adds in a bit of more mature humor that only the adults would get, while still remaining true and faithful to the original series. Even has a surprise ending that really has you think, "WOW! It was (name omitted as to not ruin the ending) the whole time!"

"Yeah! And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dog!"

They start with an unexplored plot device, the breakup of Mystery, Inc. And not just they get older and go their different ways. Oh no, this is a violent breakup where everyone ends up hating each other, except for the unbreakable, unshakeable duo of Scooby Doo and Norville "Shaggy" Rogers. Although, the actor who played Shaggy looks kind of like sports entertainer Edge from WWE.

All in all, the movie left a feel good kind of feeling after watching it, and I was actually in tears for a good chunk of it, either from laughter or that mushy feel good stuff, because I fondly remember watching the cartoon from my childhood. And of course, Cartoon Network had to plug their Powerpuff Girls movie.

I liked what seemed to be the general theme behind the movie, "Friends Don't Quit". Even Shaggy, scaredy cat extraordinaire, would step up to save his best pal Scooby when his life was in danger. Those two stuck together even when everyone else walked out on Mystery, Inc. I guess that's why those two had the Mystery Machine, even if Fred's the one who drives it most of the time.

Now they just need a cross-over movie, Josie and the Pussycats meets Scooby Doo, and actually do the Pussycats the way it was meant to be done, as faithful to the original as Scooby Doo was.

Weekly Survey

Thia week, Argon told folks, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News. The question this week is, 'Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?'"

  • Cye ewwws.. "I think it just be unsantiary!
  • Gilead barks, "Don't think of it as losing its flavor, so much as gaining many infectious new ones."
  • Suri says, "I'd have to say 'no'. I can sing the entire song, BTW :)"
  • Rick says, "I think I pass on this question, Argon."
  • Drake says, "Having a futon bed, Argon, I'm forced to stick it to the alarm clock. And yes. Er, what was the question? :)"
  • Boki squalls, "Boki left it on the left, but finds it on the right!"
  • Royce churrs, "No, it gets more flavour! With all the bugs and spiders and dust and things stuck to it the next morning..."
  • Sunni says, "no, it same"
  • Arkitah whisps, "Depends on whether or not you chewed it first."
  • Rown doesn't chew gum... Or have a bedpost. :-p
  • Nimble chitters quietly, "Leaving it on the bedpost overnightis the only way to make it taste better ;>"
  • Carlos doesn't chew gum, and doesn't sleep in his bed."
  • Rose says, "I don't think I have a bedpost to put gum on, but I do get the song reference.":
  • PatchO'Black mews, "I never leave my chewing gum on the bedpost overnight. I start fresh the next day!"
  • Tanooki says, "I wouldn't know, I don't chew gum."
  • Alicia says, "My response for the Article. "What's gum and what's a bedpost"
  • Natasha says, "No, but I can catch it on my tonsils and heave it left and right."
  • Carlos says, "I dunno... but Alex's gum sure does!"
  • AlexRaccoon speaks, "Well, I chew the kind that turns you into a blueberry and it seems to last a while."
  • Ba'ar growls, "my reply is.."I wouldn't know...I swallow mine."
  • Spin chitters, "My chewing gum can withstand high levels of gamma radiation without losing its flavor."
  • Dizzy chitters, "I don't chew gum. Especially not Spin's gum."

Hexes Cast For Less!

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So don't miss this ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE to get revenge, right wrongs, or just mess with someone's head. Satisfaction guaranteed or double your money back! CONTACT WITCHSHADE NOW!

Letters To The Editor

This letter from Mozdoc, addressed to newspaper@spindizzy.org was received earlier this week. As it seems to be a response to articles previously published in @Action News 101 and @Action News 102, and has information the writer seems to want made public, we have printed his response.

@Action News does not censor submissions, however as this publication has a number of readers who may be offended by certain words and phrases, impolite language has been edited, otherwise, Mozdoc's submission to @Action News, in its entirety as recieved, follows:

X-MindSpring-Loop: newspaper@spindizzy.org
Date: Mon, 17 Jun 2002 15:02:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mozdoc
To: newspaper@spindizzy.org

I got an article for you. How about proclaiming that I'm inncoent [ sic ] in whatever [ expletive ] [ expletive ] you put me through over two years ago Andy Baker? Yeah, I know your name, don't try and lie about it, I know Mavra's too, Elizabeth Mijo. So far you've been lucky enough to have my respect, although it is very low at this moment, and I havne't [ sic ] told anybody else, but unless you want your oh so presious [ sic ] identities to remain hidden, I strongly suggest that you let me back into SD, erase that news article where I was kicked out of the MUCK over two years ago, and both you and Mavra apologie [ sic ] for all the [ expletive ] [ expletive ] you've done to me.

"I may have lost my human body but I have gained wings." - Mozdoc Alicentaur/ICQ: 15176973 NICK: Mozdoc/Yahoo! IM: mozdoc/AIM: MozdocAlicentaur/MSN IM: mozdoc@yahoo.com/
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com

Though editor of this newspaper and a prominent member of the help staff, Argon is not a wizard and has never had any authority to create, toad, siteban, or restore any character. However, @Action News is happy to assist Mozdoc in the publication of Argon's and Mavra's names. Mavra gave her blessing to publishing this letter.

Mozdoc, whose real name is Jeremy Wetzel, lives in central California and proudly serves in the California National Guard.

The Doze Garden

The Doze Garden Comic Strip

Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.

Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.