12/16/2001

 Argon - Editor
Newswire Sources Giant Spider Invasion Averted
  The horrifying possibility of giant five foot tall spiders invading SpinDizzy was narrowly escaped by residents this week.  News of the possible invasion was mentioned in passing in the Rose Garden, which got the attention of several folks.  It was rumored that the home Cye, local fifty foot tall Vixen might be the source of the invasion, and several plans were discussed concerning how to deal with this apparently eminent threat.

Cye, hearing the conversation, was somewhat confused by the discussion, as she had seen no giant spiders around her home, in fact, had only seen one or two bugs at all in her domicile, which she dispatched with a giant can of Raid.  When someone expressed amazement at the size of the can of bug spray, Cye casually noted that both it, and the 'giant spiders' were regular sized to her.  With news that the spiders had been sprayed, talk of the invasion soon turned to the silent Guest, and was soon forgotten
Argon Grinchtaur Makes Appearance In Rose Garden
  Rown, local Centaur, has been mercilessly demanding that local residents hand over their holiday presents to him.  Aggressivly demading that folks give him their gifts, Rown explained that something happened to him but he doesn't know what. He said he was sitting around the square the other day and someone hit him from behind. When he awoke he had this compulsion to take everyone's presents!

Gilead, local Otter, was relived of a shiny lump of coal by the Grinchtaur, but all he was able to get from Mouser, local Fursnake was a noogie.  The fact that it usually takes hands or paws to give someone a noogie, was overlooked by Rown as he continued his quest for presents.  Mouser claimed he couldn't give Rown his presents anyway, as he had turned them into fake objects to save data space.

Cye, local 50 foot Vixen suggested stepping on Rown, but decided not to as she would end up with stinky stuff between her toes.Rown said, "I'm too big for you to do that. Besides, I'm not responsible for my actions. :-p"  Cye then noted her desc. She 50ft tall! n.n  Rown says, "Uh huh! The bigger they are the harder they step on you. You can keep your presents. :-p"

Rown then made a few disparaging remark about Santa, including,  that the Reindeer are all homosexuals, that he shot three of them this year.  Rown also said that the reason Rudolph's nose is red is because he's stone drunk all the time!  He also claimed that last year, reindeer droppings from the sky were the number one cause of accidents on Christmas eve!  Rown also noted that Mrs. Clause is really Santa himself in drag, that the elf women have to work the strip district in Pittsburgh to make up for the low pay that Santa gives his elves, that Santa is anti Union and forces his elves to work overtime for minimum wage and that Santa forces Mrs. Clause to carry the garbage out in her Christmas sack!  Rown added that elves are responsible for power outages during Christmas. They often sneak into power companies and turn the power off for fun.  They get drunk on eggnog and play with the switches. :-)

After more disparaging remarks concerning Santa and his organization that I can't repeat here, Rown turned the magic wand he used on Mouser on himself and was miraculously cured.  
Argon Local Centaur Makes The Grade
  Mavra, local Centaur, after two years of hard work received her Masters of Aerospace Engineering Degree Saturday, December 15, 2001.  She looked quite striking in her cap and gown, although fitting one to complement her Equine aspect was a struggle.  

Now that she has her degree, the next step is finding a job, and after that, hopefully the long delayed wedding between Mavra and I will finally take place.  None the less, congratulations are in order for the lovely Mavra!
Argon Weekly Survey
  Argon asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News.  The question is,  'What would you like for Christmas?'
Twohart would like to have fleas made of chocolate, to make them a marketable item. I've got quite a few of them, and could stand for an income improvement.
Cobalt lightbulbs. He turns to Argon. "Something interesting - so long as it's not of the Chinese curse variety."
Ping wants a new laptop, a bookshelf, much chocolate, a complete O'Reilly collection, 28-hour days so he can get more sleep, 'toon paint, lots of sketching material, a 88-properly-weighted-key keyboard with proper piano sound, freedom and safety to everyone, the revocation of the DMCA, less corporate influence in congress, peace on earth, goodwill to people in general, and a chance to relax. That's what I want for Christmas. ;)
Suri says, "A zinc weasel."
Max says, "For everyone to have a rilly miserable holiday, I think, yes.  And some Lemur treats."
Maxl grumbles, "A nuclear weapon. No, several."
Gino writes "an all expenses paid trip to Further Confusion as a Patron and $500.00 spending money.
Reiter says, "Personally, I'd like to have a bit of peace for this Christmas..."
Morticon says, "Twenty Minions, with a bow on each their heads, to serve me in taking over the muck!"
Rose says, "What I'd really like is my own Jacuzzi, but not much chance of that happening."
Gina_Doberman says, "Gamecube.... Definitely Gamecube!"
Alex sets his pipe down. "I'm sure I don't want anything for X-mas. I already have everything that I could want.
Nikon says softly, "To be furry RL"
Argon  The Doze Garden (The Evolution Of The Seagull)
 

@Action News Info Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles
  Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy!  Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org, or qmail or page Argon about it.

Most any type of story or article will be accepted.  Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (Any more than anything that happens here does.) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.  These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply. 

Thanks!