Argon - Editor / Maxl - Associate Editor

The service proceeded smoothly except for a brief interruption when, Alicia, who performed the exchange of vows asked if there were any who objected to this union.  Morticon, local Wallaby and alleged leader of the SED stood up and loudly proclaimed his protest to the marriage.  Said Wallaby's muzzle was promptly clamped shut by Mouser, local Fursnake, and Kendra, local Kitsune.  Morticon, at that point left, and the service continued with nary a dry eye in the house.

A reception followed with much food, and many a toast and claim of good wishes and a long and happy marriage for the groom and his lovely bride.

This week, agents from the FBI and INS were on SpinDizzy after receiving tips that suspected terrorists were hiding out here.  These suspects had been traced here by law enforcement by  foolishly left clues the terrorists had left behind that they had come here.

The FBI is asking for your help in locating and arresting these followers of Bin Laden.  They are:

Bin Paging,  Bin Posing, Bin Idling, Bin Spamming, and Bin using7eetspeek.  Of utmost concern to the law enforcement agents, is the notorious terrorist Bin Yiffing.  If you have information concerning any of the individuals, please contact the FBI at once.

      I woke up with a toothache the other morning. Of course the first thing I looked for was a dentist, then I realized something. I rummaged around looking for a phone number or some other source material that could point me in the direction of a good dentist but after a while I realized that there is no dentist for centaurs in Spindizzy!

     Now there are those here that think that like horses. centaurs' teeth never stop growing. The tooth simply continues to grow from birth and we have to constantly grind our food to keep our constantly regenerating teeth from forcing our jaws wide open.  Or we have to call in a ferrier to file our bicuspids down every other year. Nothing could be farther from the tooth. (pun intended :-p)

     As Argon, local centaur and Spindizzy regular, is fond of relating, centaurs and horses have vast differences. Take for instance our digestive tract. Horses have the worst digestive tract on earth limiting them to a small variety of grasses and limited amounts of grains to eat. If they eat too much grain they will founder, if they eat long fescue grass they get very ill and in many cases they die.

     Horses cannot vomit either, which makes it terribly inconvenient if one should somehow get a hangover. They can’t enjoy it as much as the rest of us. Then there’s walnut trees. To horses, walnut tree shavings or even the tannic acid from the husks of the nuts are toxic. Which of course means that auntie May’s walnut surprise is off limits to them. The good part is, her fruitcake is also off limits too.

     But I digress…

     A centaurs teeth are more human like than horse. We grow two sets, the first through our childhood or foal years and the second lasting throughout our adult years if cared for properly. The utility being that we don’t have to have a huge bastard file shoved into our mouths every two years and also, we can eat a larger variety of foods.

     Our digestive tract is far better than a horses as well. We are omnivores, eating meats, vegetables and fruits since we can we don’t have the worry about the debilitating effects of foundering, although some tend to overeat and get really fat. We can also vomit as I’ve found out unfortunately, giving us the same enjoyment as anyone else in SpinDizzy when we drink too much which brings me to my point

     Well, other than taking the opportunity to drive Morticon crazy with yet another “horse vs. centaur” article, I’m taking the chance to enlighten all you readers to another difference. Since there was no dentist in Spindizzy I decided to partake of another medicinal practice spoken of by fantasy novelist and centaur fan P.C. Cast and tried to kill the toothache with a fine Merlot wine.

     At first the idea was a good one, the wine went down good and the warm fuzzy feeling went from my pallet to my hooves in no time flat. I finished the glass licking my lips at the sharp yet satisfying flavor of the rich red wine. But the tooth was still aching so I poured a second glass taking in the savory liquid, rolling it around on my tongue, washing out my crushed tooth with it, snorting a little out my nose at one of D`saynin’s jokes! (It tingled too!) Then finishing the glass.

     Unfortunately, another of the differences between horses and centaurs kicked in at that moment. You see, centaurs are notorious drunks when they drink and especially wine, after all, when was the last time Ovid wrote about centaurs drinking Jack Daniels? No horse in their right mind (if they have one) would even drink alcohol but a centaur on the other hand…

     That warm fuzzy feeling that went to my hooves also made those hooves very unsteady, consequently, I staggered knocking over a statue which hit a tree. The tree bent over and got caught on another tree locking it into a sprung yet locked condition which in itself was fine but I also staggered the other way and bumped into D`saynin scaring her so badly that she instantly changed into a huge metal dragon. I righted myself and stared at the huge spectacle before me thinking that I had certainly drunk way too much. She swung her tail around hitting the guest cottage and causing several guests to scatter in all directions and the cottage to end up sitting on one end of a huge raised construction plank left there by someone.

     As Argon desperately tried to hide the Sabine women, D`saynin's tail hit the statue forcing it up on the bent tree while one of the guests bumped the tree locking the bent one down. As I was still staring at that huge dragon before me the bent tree was released sending the statue straight up into the air and right down on the other side of that construction plank forcing it’s side down and the cottage was sent flying into the air.

     D`saynin's tail then swung around and knocked me off my hooves. I laid there on my backs still not believing what was happening when the entire cottage landed on D`saynin’s head blinding her and causing her to step on the plank sending the statue back into the air. It then sailed over D`saynin and the cottage landing on me. D`saynin, still disoriented, tripped and fell backwards and fell on the statue, which was laying on me.

     I’m happy to tell all of you that the doctor has said the cast will be off in a month. The fracture on my jaw will take a little less time to heal. The lacerations even less time. The bad part is, I still have the toothache and I still haven’t found a dentist.

Most any type of story or article will be excepted.  Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (Any more than anything that happens here does.) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.  These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply. 

Thanks!