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As is traditional on SpinDizzy, after the holidays, the year's Christmas tree made its way to the Christmas Tree Retirement Home. But, as has become traditional of late, the tree didn't get there through traditional ways or means.

This year followed recent patterns with the 2008 Christmas tree falling through the ground which disolved beneath it into Heck! The folks in the Rose Garden follwed it to be met by "Teddy" a goat-like "Devil's Advocate" with a staff topped with a number of shrunken heads. Teddy was guarding the tree, not from the powers of heck, but from the crowd from the Rose Garden. Using the powers of his shrunken head staff, he kept the crowd at bay until some legal double-talk, or theft of his staff, or both, allowed the group to pass.

The group found temselves in a a room with the "spirits" of other SpinDizzy Christmas Trees and the 2008 tree itelf. An employee of Heck was performing some ritual on the tree. Why heck would want Christmas trees was never clearly explained, what the two represent seeming to oppose each other, but none the less, it seemed that Frank's incantations were to draw the hopes and joys of the Christmas holiday from the tree.

Eventually, the tree was lifted out, and a swarm of some red bugs or beetles poured out from beneath it. The group quickly removed the tree and placed it, with honor, at the Christmas Tree Retirement Home, four squares north of the Rose Garden (N4 E0).

No reports were available from "Heck" as to the status of Teddy and Frank as of press time.

Mayor Beltrami noted to the wizards this week that the weather had stopped working in the main districts of central Spindizzy. The weather, shown as a two- or three-line note at the end of descriptions which are located in outdoor rooms such as the Rose Garden unless the room's owner wishes them suppressed, has been a feature of the muck for several years now. While the weather is ordinarily fair the progression of light gives the illusion of changing cycles of day and night and a time which is independent of server time.

After much investigation Skyler, who is not a pair of slippers, found the problem by looking through the hierarchy of parent rooms. Parent rooms are a tool by which an entire area can be given global-like exits, or given properties or lists or descriptions to be used in common, reducing the number of times that items which should be in common are copied. Most outdoor areas have as a parent the Outdoors Environment Room, dbref #61. Most indoor areas have as parent the Indoors Environment Room, dbref #62. Rooms that have no other logical parent may use the Null Environment Room, dbref #63. And vehicles may make use of dbref #2473, the Vehicle Environment Room. A room's parent may be set by the owner by going to the room and entering `@tel here=#61' (or the appropriate destination).

It is not clear exactly what caused the weather to disappear, but something has been done about it.

In other news, Royce saw a video in which Wallace and Gromit attempt a remote-controlled expedition to recover cheese.

And a variety of amusing songs about science recorded in the late 1950s and early 1960s are up at http://www.acme.com/jef/singing_science/ The song "Why Does The Sun Shine" has been covered by They Might Be Giants.

This notice was posted to FurToonia on Thursday:

Thu Jan 29 00:28 Tabyathe -- Moving to a new host.

I was informed by the current host we have that all hosting services will cease in about two weeks. So, with the help of Squirrelly, FurToonia will be moving to his hosting services as soon as a current backup of the database can be transfered to his site.

Please be aware once that backup is created, any and all changes made to the db will likely be lost. In an effort to make that loss as little as possible, please keep building and page#mails to a minimum over the next few days.

If all goes well, there should be very little time down on the muck itself.

Yours sincerely,
Tabyathe of The FurToonia Administration

There is not yet word on just when the move will be or what the new address will be.

This is a small progress report of the events at Further Confusion 2009 from a draggywuff's perspective.

As I arrived in on Wednesday evening from a long flight, I arrived at the hotel in relatively high spirits. To my surprise, right at the entrance was a small crowd, with Vixie right in the middle of it. She seemed to have matured into a beautiful vixen during the past few years, yet has not lost any of her spunk or attitude (despite me holding back from making a late night fox snack. Just kidding Vixie).

Portia quickly spotted me and interrupted those thoughts as well as gave me a quick rundown of what I need to do the next day since she was the head of my division (events!!).

On Thursday, Findra, Portia and many others (as well as myself) started to get the con set up. The pace was brisk and filled with anticipation for a great event! At the point everything was off the trucks and sent to their appropriate rooms, I met with the Creators Lounge lead, a fellow dragon - Floru, since I was his second (whom roomed with me during the con).

After we got everything set up and ready for the artists to invade the room, Floru and my fellow Creators Lounge staffers got some sushi (what can I say? The steak place wouldn't serve raw meat). Despite many night-time hours, I was able to invade some of the panels and events.

Portia's education regarding canids was particularly interesting since my father's side was wolf. No wonder she's such a necessary person for the SED and the Spindizzy Mayoral Office.

Notably missing was Gilead, whom was "rumored" to do the otter panel, but had to back down due to tending to the sick, where his knowledge was vital. However, his replacement was still knowledgable, though Gilead's presence was missed by his fellow Spindizzians.

By the time Saturday and Sunday rolled along, various competitions of DDR, Poker, Rock Band/Guitar Hero and other various games kept many in high anticiaption and interest. Even many of the dances gave us a chance to break away and let ourselves loose! A few of us had to "take a break" at poolside as it was much cooler outside due to the hotel "forgetting" to turn on the air conditioning." After a short break, many went back up to enjoy the music and letting our spirits go wild.

A curiousity during the weekend was a particular suite in the hotel that was invaded by Klingons, whom invited their warrior cousins in spirit to drink with them as both sides regaled of their many stories and heroics of the past year. However, a young todd decided to "insult" a Klingon woman's vitrue and was promptly dealt with by her, with the "trophy" being hung on the wall as a quick warning to all whom would dare say the wrong words.

As Monday rolled around, many were slowly realizing that their time together was growing short. Darius, Jimun, Royce, Dingo, Patchy, Findra, Portia and others started to reminisce on the weeks' events as they slowly went their seperate ways.

By the time evening came, the Dead Dog Dance began as everyone came together one last time to celebrate our friendship and unity. As Tuesday came, I looked up at the morning sun before heading back home, with many great memories and with hopes to meet with our friends again.

Zen Poem (Click image for full size for art and poem)

Looking for more RPs on SpinDizzy? Want something more serious and in character than the Rose Garden offers? Are you an experienced, good RPer or willing to learn? Do you enjoy all sorts of RP genres? Do you have a well developed character or are itching to make a new one? Consider the SED!

It's a common misconception that the SED RP group is a closed circle or that all plots are about taking over the world. Neither of those statements are true! There's room for all sorts of characters and plots... good, evil, or somewhere in between.

We hold regular RPs, generally about twice a week (currently mon/wed, 7-9pm server time), with room for side plots on other days as time permits. Interested? Or even just curious about the RPs? Don't be shy, just talk to me! I'll gladly let you observe a random session to help you make up your mind. If, after that, you'd like to participate in some way, I'll see what can be done. Hope to hear from you!

Recently, a casual conversation about some training that Luaie, local dragon, was going to soon undergo degenerated into a fountain of teeth-grinding, computer themed puns as shown by the following snippet.

PatchO'Black mews, "We have an army?"
Luaie says, "No, no! I did basic training five years ago!"
Ba'ar grins at patchy "Yes, it comes out of our 'sleevie'."
PatchO'Black mews, "Ah."
Luaie nods to 'busy dragon,' shakes his head at 'basic training.'
Ba'ar erupts in a fountian of giggles.
Natasha says, "So if it's not basic training, it's...what, machine language training?"
Ba'ar snorts at Natasha. "I didn't think that people were using BASIC any more."
Ba'ar grins "Ah yes. Machine code. Chomping at the Bit."
Luaie takes critical damage from a pun!
Luaie is unconscious.
Ba'ar yells out "Medic! Call out the 4077th!"
PatchO'Black mews, "That had some byte to it, yes."
Findra pats at Luaie's hand. "There there."
Ba'ar giggles at patchy. "We've got to get a new source (code) for our jokes."
Natasha says, "Ah, but you can find Visual evidence of BASIC everywhere."
Ba'ar grins at Natasha "I 'C'. Thanks for the 'pointer'."
Natasha says, "Or at least everywhere that people with MCSEs assemble."
Ba'ar grins "You ought to register that 'Tash."
Luaie . o O ( They've got to run out eventually, right? Right?! )
Natasha says, "Y, Ba'ar? I'd rather like to X out that Accumulation."

Luaie, local dragon, took some critical damage from the puns but being a hardy sort was able to recover quickly. None of the parties were able to be reached for additional comment (or wordplay).

Once upon a time, there was a mouse trying to get to the other side of a mobius strip for a slice of cheese. He tried and tried, but could not obtain the cheese for some reason!

As he questioned why, he came across another mouse who was on the same quest. He asked this mouse, "Hello, have you found the other side to this mobius strip?" The mouse shook his head, "I have not! I've been looking for three days and found no other side!"

So as the two mice continued, they ended up bumping into more and more mice whom ended up joining them in this quest. Soon, there was an army of mice marching along this mobius strip, searching for the other side to get to some cheese!

Eventualy, they all came upon a large cat who eyed them curiously. "Hello there mice, what brings you here?" The mice fearfully responded that they were looking for the other side of the mobius strip to get a slice of cheese. The cat's eyes widened, "Oh, I know where that is. This is my strip after all. I am Mobius."

The mice bounced with joy! There was another side to the mobius strip, but it wasn't what they were expecting.

With grace, the cat pounced and enjoyed a full meal of mice! The mice went to scatter, but they had no clue where they were! So they remained on the mobius strip for the cat to enjoy them as meals as a cheese factory lay east of the strip.

( Moral of the story, don't blindly follow the path set out in front of you. There are other ways to achive what you need. Oh, and of course, there is no "other" side to a mobius strip; especially if there is a hungry cat on it's path. )

(For this issue, Zoie has given us two Classic Game reviews!)

Hey all!

This is your lil gamer-coon, ready and amped up for this edition of Classic Gaming!

Well, it is nearly time to change our calendars, make our resolutions and find a lil sugar daddy/momma to pucker up with . Well, for me, my butt will be parked in front of the Wii, playing a couple of downloaded games. The game I've been working on over the Christmas Holiday is truly a classic. Where the composer is the second name on the list as far as the credit scrolling. The music is very moving, especially the beginning.

You start out as a young male, Randi (whom I named Zoie :P), with two of his friends going across a log bridge against the wishes of the elder. Eventually you fall down and find your way to a sword that was once held by Serin, a legendary knight. You don't think twice about it because you need something to clear away the heavy brush... however, when the sword was pulled, you started a chain reaction... which eventually causes you to be expelled from your own town and if not for the advice of Jema, a knight, the game would end there.

Eventually you meet with a young girl, Purim (whom I named Portia and Dingo on various saves), whom is trying to get her boyfriend back, Dyluck, as well as save her best friend Phanna, whom were brainwashed by Thanatos, one of the four generals of the Emperor, and happens to drag you along for the ride as well as a young, playful sprite, Popoie (whom I named Darius and Mortic **yeah.. the infamous 16 bit era limited names**), whom lost his memory.

As the story goes on, you go on a quest to save Mana (the world's life force) from the Empire and other various nasties whom wish to revive the Mana Fortress (which will cause the end of the world). As you go through the game, you eventually get more help from each temple you visit and seal the mana seeds. Each seed is protected by a spirit... Undine of Water, Gnome of Earth, Sylphid of Wind, Salamando of Fire, Lumina of Light, Luna of Moon, Shade of Shadow and Dryad of Wood. Each of them gives Purim and Popoie magical abilities. Also a pink neko comes to offer his services as a roaming merchant (a little Japanese joke there).

You also have a unique way of travel.... the cannon service. yes, you get your butt shot out of a cannon. However, later on when you save a white dragon (lovingly named Flammie,) that is the beginning of a "Final Fantasy" style change of transporation. It must be some wild mushrooms that grow around it but the dragon grew quickly and eventually you can fly on his back.

Though you do wind up being a step to late in most cases and the Mana Fortress is revived and the only hope of stopping it and the Mana Beast that will rise and destroy the Fortress, as well as the rest of the world, is to revive the Mana Sword that you pulled up by taking it to the Mana Tree.

Though I shall not ruin the story for you... but there are some major WTF moments and parts that will give you a tear.

One of the major "urks" I have is with the AI of the other two characters. They are good help but sometimes.. .it makes you wonder if Squaresoft gave the AI the intelligence of a 6 yr old that loves to aggrivate you because the characters get stuck. Though at the same time, two others can join in the action with you and go three player, which is an advantage.

This is all the lil "hints" I'm going to give you for now but the game is definate classic and an all time best for the SNES system.

I hope to see you all in the New Year and may it be a peaceful and prosperous one for all of us.

Zoie

Hey everyone! This is your lil gamer coon, Zoie Kvtli. Upon request, I shall introduce everyone to Zero Wing.

It started out as a space shoot 'em up in 1989 by Toaplan in the tradition of Gradius and R-Type. The weapons were either spread, lazer or missles that could move up levels (only one of each though :/). ZIG, the particular figher, also had orbital cannons, similar to the option in Gradius/Life Force. They even used a frontal shield system similar to the one found in R-Type.

Each level had numerous smaller enemies that you can SMASH into with your orbital cannons as well as having to fight against mid-level and end-level bosses. It was decent shooter. However, the arcade did well enough to create an arcade translation for Europe. Which was rushed into the market for the holidays in 1991 in Europe and a very poor translation job was done on it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch&v=vfwqvUPIRkg

However, the game was rediscovered in the United States in 1999 when someone noticed the horrific translation job and decided to remix the music and add extra animation. It was then on, there are very few that has heard "All Your Base".

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/11940

The basic story behind the game is that a race, known as CATS, a borg-like race, launched a massive surprise assault against "human" looking characters. A leader among them tauned a captain of one of the vessels attacked, with a small stirring speech to his remaining ZIG pilots,"You all know what you have to do, all ZIGs launch and bring justice for us all".

Soon you begin with the game itself. Despite it being a decent shooter, its music is actually pretty good and you get into it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd4aRFv9mNE&feature=related

Despite the game being well known for its bad translation, the game made a huge impact on our culture that cannot be denied. How many bad games can honestly say they had such an impact they made the cover of Time Magazine.

for great justice!

Zoie Kvtli

Thank you to everyone who contributed to the newspaper this week!

Special thanks go to:

Argon, for the report on the Christmas Tree Retirement,
Austin, for the report on the sky,
Austin, for the note about our friends on Furtoonia,
Niran, for the Further Confusion report,
Zen, for his poem and art,
Morticon, for his request for RPers,
Ba'ar, for his report on computer puns,
Zen, for his story of the mice and the cheese,
Zoie, for her report on two classic games,
Patch O'Black. for his bizzare comics report,
Gilead, for his puns, Ba'ar, for the survey,
and, Argon (and Gilead,) for a Doze Garden cartoon.

Hello, and welcome to another little slice of heaven from the ol' Four-Kolor Kitty. Or perhaps I should say "Good-bye and stay away", as this time we will be looking at one of Superman's most unique figures. That's right, it is time for us to take a look at the wacky world at the origins of Bizarro, and the world he would eventually live on.

While most think of Bizarro as being Superman's opposite, this is not quite the case. To begin with, the first Bizarro appeared back in 1958 in a Superboy story.

Ah, the good old Silver Age, when everyone had at least half-a-dozen scientist living near by who would invent the darnedest things! In this case, it was a duplication ray made by one Professor Dalton that Superboy was invited to watch being tested. However, a duplicated piece of radium was found to be non-radioactive, and a duplicated jewel melted instead of being hard. Obviously, this ray needed some fine tuning. However, before the scientist can get the bugs worked out, he accidently bumps the machine, which zaps the Boy of Steel, making the very first Bizarro! Unfortunately, the machine then explodes into a heap of metal bits. The creature get his name from over-hearing Superboy rather rudely calling him "bizarre".

Well, to be honest, he was quite odd, with chalk-white skin, wire-y hair that stuck out like a porcupine, and sharp angles where curves would be on a human body. The flaws weren't skin-deep, ether. His mind was similarly flawed, causing him to have pronoun problems, such as using "Me" in place of "I," and using twisted logic. In fact, as he flies off to explore, the only one to not fear him is a blind girl. While he tries to mimic the original Superboy, his imperfect nature causes him to misinterpret what is going on, and he causes disaster after disaster with his "help". Eventually, Superboy reasons that, just as the radiation from pieces of his world that gave him birth harm him, the radiation from the pieces of the machine that created Bizarro would stop him! The professor has already told Superboy that Bizarro wasn't truly a living thing, and even the narration agrees with this, so he has no problems causes the teen-aged Thing of Steel to be destroyed in an explosion that, somehow, causes a pressure wave that restores the blind girl's sight. A classic twist!

Later, Lex Luthor happens to get his hands on the plans for the imperfect duplicating machine. Of course, creating an imperfect duplicate of Superman is just the sort of thing that warms his heart so, after tricking Superman into range, he creates the Bizarro that we would all come to know and love. Once again, created from "lifeless matter," Luthor commands Bizarro to attack Superman. However, Bizarro doesn't want to take orders from Luthor. Seeing himself in a mirror, he is shocked by his own inhuman appearance, grabs Luthor and his flunky-du-jour, and start to fly them to a police station.>

Unfortunately, the police panic when they see him, which just makes Bizarro even more depressed. He even tries his hand at heroics, saving a plane, but even then the people aboard are scared by the odd faux-Kryptonian. Bizarro flies off, not paying attention to where he is going in his grief, knocking over a smokestack and a steeple. This causes the local civil defense to send out some aircraft to try and bring down Bizarro, but he is invulnerable as the real deal. Bizarro even tries to end it all, but finds he himself can seem to damage his body.

Eventually, after a few misadventure, the solution to Bizarro's loneliness is found by Lois Lane. She simply uses the defective duplication ray on herself, making a Bizarro Lois. Bizarro Lois was attracted to Bizarro as the real thing was to Superman. The two decided that Earth was no place for them, so they fly off into space to find their own place. Luckily, since Bizarro-Lois is made of the same "lifeless matter," she doesn't have to worry about dying in space as they fly off.

Eventually, Bizarro and Bizarro-Lois would find a life-less world, with the ruins of an ancient alien city. They decide to settle there, but eventually his beloved became lonely with just Bizarro and wanted friends. Using an old lab in the ruins and his imperfect super-mind, he manages to make a ray that can duplicate Bizarros! At first, he just creates duplicates of Bizarro-Lois, but the original Bizarro-Lois becomes jealous when her copies all love her main man, so he then makes duplicates of himself as well. The new population then set about using the ruins to build their own version of Metropolis. In other words, one that would have any safety inspector ether running away screaming or curling up into a ball. They then dub the new city "Bizarro City" and their world "Htrae", though most would know it as Bizarro-World. The original Bizarro is dubbed "Bizarro #1", and their leader, with Bizarro-Lois #1 as his wife. Superman eventually visits, and almost runs afoul of the greatest law on Hthae, the Bizarro Code. This simply states that everything has to be imperfect, and perfection is a crime! This is where Bizarros have gotten their well-known habits of doing the opposite of what their counter-parts on Earth will do.

To avoid being punished by being turned into a Bizarro via yet another ray machine, he convinces the Bizarro trial that, because they live on a round planet, everyone there is already breaking the code. This appeals to their lack of logic, and they free him. Before he goes, though, Superman does the Bizarros a favor by reshaping Htrae into a cube, making it as imperfect as the beings that live on it.

There is, of course, more to Bizarro's story, but it looks like that will have to wait for a future column. Of course, if you have any ideas, suggestions, or superhero questions you would like to see here, just send them to PatchO'Black. But until last time, hear you out the serious pages!

Q: What do you call a cross between a tree rodent and a quadrupedal reptile?
A1: A Lizardilla.
A2: A Squirmate.

Q: What does tickling a tree rodent make him?
A: Squirrelmy.

Q: Why did the rodent lose her tree?
A: She just was nut squirrelish enough. (courtesy of Lou)

Q: How did the orca get around after he hurt his flukes?
A: In a whalechair.

Q: what do you call it when a dolphin goes up on his tail?
A: Popping a whalie.

Q: Why did the mongoose drink the cobra's blood?
A: To snake his thirst.

Q: What happened to the fly when he ran into a bunch of sharp-billed little songbirds?
A: He was wren't asunder.

Q: What did the baby giraffe say when his mom took him out of the bath?
A: I think you missed a spot. (courtesy of Jengo the talking giraffe)

Q: What did the baby jaguar say when his mom took him out of the bath?
A: I think you missed a rosette.

Q: Why did the mommy skunk tell her kittens to wash their paws after they eat?
A: Because they got all grubby.

Q: Why did the raccoon have to rub Lotremin on his caudal appendage?
A: He got tailringworm.

Q: What do you call a wild dog who makes it obvious she'll sleep with anyone?
A: A easyote.

Q: What has a long tail alternating black and white, is absolutely adorable, and turns anyone who looks at it to stone?
A: A Bassiliskus astutus.

Q: Where can you find formate ions?
A: In ant acids.

Q: What builds dams but is larger and fiercer than a beaver?
A: A waspver.

Q: Why couldn't anyone find the Australian wild dog?
A: She dinwent.

i gang, Ba'ar here. You know of Time's 'Man of the Year' award right? Okay. Who is Spindizzy's 2008 'Fur of the Year' and why does he or she deserve that award? Please get your answers to either Argon or me soon. Thanks!

• Argon says, "I'd nominate Findra as bunny of the year. She deserves a lot of credit for keeping the server running and paying all those carrots to her ISP. Her work is deeply appreciated!"
• DTF smiles "Me.... because... well... I'm me and nearly everyone likes me and asks me for advice."
• Borris Gruffs, "Ba'ar, I'd vote for Argon, for all his work putting the paper togather every week."
• PatchO'Black mews, "Agreed, Argon. He really works hard for the community."
• Zoie giggles,"Portia, for putting the final link in keeping Morticon "semi-settled".
• Sashi purrs softly, "I might vote for Borris though, for not yet having eaten Jimun."
• Leowulf says, "I vote for Portia, for capturing Morticon."
• Kit_Skyfire doesn't know the inhabitants of spindizzy well enough to recommend one fur over another.
• Sashi doesn't know everyone well enough yet to answer that one.
• Natasha says, "I nominate Scribbles, who hasn't said anything stupid, got involved in any ridiculous drama, or produced any eye-searing 'art' all year. More furries should follow Scribbles's example!"

The Ugly Duckling: What really happened...

Got something that You'd like to contribute to @Action News, but aren't sure if you should, or how to do it? Here are some basic guidelines.

Contributing a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org!

• @Action News is published weekly sometime between Sunday and Wednesday each week, although the date of publication may vary.
• Articles received after midnight Pacific time on Saturday may be held and published in the next edition of @Action News.
• Most any type of story or article of interest to SpinDizzy's newspaper readers will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy.
• Things that occur in public areas are fair game.
• The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does,) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.

These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks!

Argon
Editor - @Action News