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Mavra's "Political Spoof" Review of Prince Caspian.

When this reviewer went into the theatre, I was greeted by a muggy, not well-air-conditioned auditorium, but at least it was empty, aside for the couple that followed me in. This was to be changed, however, within the ten minutes before the film was scheduled to start (actually the previews) it filled up quickly with the throngs and masses of humanspawn. Ugh. Although I had squeesed into the space reserved for wheelchairs I still kept on getting bumped in the hindquartersuntil I sent a glare behind me with an indication that further unpleasantness would ensue should feet find their way again towards my backside. But enough of this, on to the review!

A year has passed in our world for our quartet of offspring of ‘Adam & Eve’, but in Narnia, quite a bit more time. Rather like the results of a strong spacetime warp around a neutron star, so much that over a thousand years have gone by there. It seems that what has transpired in that fair land of talking trees and mythological beings is what could happen in the U.S. after a century of neocon rule except that the wilderness is still there. The affore-mentioned Non-Human Intelligences (NTIs) have been nearly eradicated due to being non-humans and insurgents. Caspian plays the role of Obama, trying to actually talk to opposing sides and reach a more pleasant agreement of the two, but of course, his uncle, McCain, wants to off him as he’s done with Caspian’s father offscreen and more likely other political opponents.

The insurgent NTIs, led by a failed dual command structure of Caspian and the eldest of the quartet, Peter. Peter’s not so great, however and before you can say ‘Bay of Pigs’, the attack upon the castle of Uncle flounders and the NTIs beat a hasty retreat.

After discovering that the NTIs are still around, Uncle declares them terrorists and sets off to wipe them out with his ‘Coalition of the Lied To’, stating that they have WMDs, or ‘Weapons of Mythological Danger’. While of course they clearly have none, Uncle McCain brings his, namely several large stealth siege engines that fire giant bowling balls. An attempt to save lives, both human and other is made via means of a dual between the two leaders, but treachery on the part of the humans (again) leads to an epic battle where the Green Party overwhelms the baddies.

At the end, a choice is given to the humans to either live in peace with the NTIs or to be sent back from whence they came. In a Gitmo/Guantanamo Bay-like affair, numerous humans, the quartet included, along with a few NTIs, are sent away, leaving Narnia to establish democratic elections for themselves after their infrastructure and culture has been left in shambles.