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Saturday night in the Rose Garden, Patch O'Black, local Jellicle cat, began digging a hole. As he doesn't usually dig holes in the Rose Garden, folks asked him what he was up to. Being a cat, he was somewhat mysterious in his answers. He continued digging until the hole was deeper than he was tall. After being given an OSHA / OSHAU approved hard hat Patch hit bottom.

With a blast, patch was tossed into the air atop a gusher of hot fudge! It poured all over the place as Patch fell to the ground. On his feet of course. With hot fudge raining down on the Rose Garden, it was obvious this fountian of goodness had to be capped. Patch asked, ""Someone bring in the heavy machinery so we can cap this off!"

Argon, local centaur, suggested Patch call John Wayne, referencing the movie, The Hellfighters. "The Duke" had a company that went around capping oil wells that were on fire, and getting the girl. No one had John Wayne's phone number though.

With hot fudge flying through the air and getting all over everything, not to mention it being wasted, Patch moved his cat basket by the gusher and extended a crane. He lowered it and capped the well with a spigot. Now hot fudge could be procured with just a turn of a handle.

Fermata, local bunny, passed out jars so everyone could get some of the fudge to put on their ice cream. Patch, who is known for his great snacks, was hailed as a genius for discovering the patch of hot chocolate and making it easy to share. It is unknown how long the hot fudge will last, but at least it doesn't cost $3.00 a gallon.

Last Friday the 30th of June, Jake the local cybernetically enhanced kangaroo-rat got changed into an operator by Beltrami. Casandro, local bat-winged lion, pondered the idea of having his own operator for quite some time, however the chance never arived.

This friday he was talking with Beltrami about his idea. She mentioned it would be more fun to not just create an operator, but to turn a volunteer into one. Curious of how that would be, Jake volunteered.

The procedure was done in Beltrami's suite where Jake was instructed to get onto a strange coffee table which dissolved him. Later Casandro was simmilarly dissolved and reappeared with Jake on him. Casandro was mostly unchanged, but Beltrami couldn't resist adding a bit of sparkle to his fur and leveling it.

Jake has been changed to a complete outfit. He's still able to talk via a loudspeaker, and provides a number of technical services to his wearer.

Darius, local ferret, may resume his crusade of ridding the Rose Garden of what he calls, unlicensed venders.

Having taken a break from his campaign for some time due to the vigorus objections of special interests supporting the venders, recent events have caused him to renew his efforts.

To assist in his efforts, Andros, local foxtaur, is in the process of designing and fabricating a "tank" with a number of bacon cannons. This will allow Darius to cleanse SpinDizzy of what he calls undocumented individuals which he claims are taking jobs and income from SpinDizzy residents.

There is some question as to whether this cannon will be licensed for use in the Rose Garden. The division of registration and standards did not return @Action News' requests for clarification of this matter.

Lefty, well known otter, was again checked into the hospital this 4th of July. As can be assumed by his name, he regularly has mishaps when playing with fireworks.

Unlike his cousin, Oscar, The Food Safety otter, who has safety in his name and is careful with dangerous things and follows the directions, Lefty doesn't. Most otters carefully wash their fireworks right before use and have no accidents at all. Not Lefty. He makes sure they're dry and lights them in haylofts and dynomite factories. It has been suggested Lefty might be part lemur.

Although Lefty has not shown good judgement in his use of fireworks, he is not the worst offender. Someday, @Action News will have an article on Stumpy the wombat.

"Cherry Blossom Noodle Café," Phoenix, AZ

I had been feeling famished and fancied filling up on fox filaments, aka Kitsune Udon. As I fed my face on the fabulous food and fantastic broth in which the fresh vegetables floated, I was fast flabberghasted. I figured they'd feed me four flaps of foxy tofu, but found they had fitted into the fluid a fatter feast of five on which to feed! In fairness, the food was fantastic!

Xiaoming, employee of Kunoichi Corporation, has found time in her busy schedule to see the new live- action Transformers movie on opening night and provide this review.

Firstly, understand that I am a huge fan of the original Marvel/Sunbow series from the 80's and own quite a few of the original toys. Like many die-hards, I was appalled by many rumors I heard when the film was being made. Bumblebee not a VW bug? Jazz not a Porsche? Soundwave not even in the movie?! Heresey!

I didn't exactly have high hope for the movie and had to keep reminding myself that naturally there are going to be difference between the original source material and a big budget explosion-fest meant for the movie-going masses. I must say I was very surprised at how good the movie actually was.

Three things really stood out about the movie. Firstly, the human characters didn't overshadow the Transformers themselves, they were likeable, believeable characters that added to the story rather than detract from it. Secondly, the sheer size of the Transformers of was not downplayed (or ignored) as it sometimes was in the cartoon. These guys are huge and often leave collateral damage in their wake, even when they don't intend to. Finally, the movie had a real sense of realism about the actual combat. In the climactic battle in the crowded city, you see people running for cover, the streets are littered with twisted metal, destroyed cars, and chunks of buildings. You get a unique viewpoint from the poor humans caught in the middle. These all factor into making it a very, well, real.

So, while not everyone's favorite characters made it to the silver screen and many a fan (myself included) may have pitched a fit at Hugo Weaving as Megatron (where's Frank Welker when he is truly needed?), it was still a well made, entertaining movie. Plus the promotional comic book they handed out with the ticket is pretty nifty. And any movie that features Optimus Prime (voiced by the immortal Peter Cullen) saying "Sorry! My bad!" is worth the price of admission."

Hello, and welcome to another installment of the little slice of Valhalla we call Four-Kolor Kitty. As summer is upon us, and people are traveling all over on vacation, I thought this would be a good time to look at modes of transportation for the super-powered set.

Several of the capes and mask crowd are lucky enough to have built-in way for getting from here to there. Some can simply slip off the bonds of gravity and soar about under their own power. Others have the gift of super-speed, allowing them to run anywhere they need to be in a hurry. However, for those with less travel - oriented powers, they often will turn to vehicles of all sorts.

The most famous super-hero vehicle is most likely the Batmobile. A sleek black automobile, when the Caped Crusader needs to travel the streets and highways of Gotham City, he does so in high style. Originally, back in the early days of the Batman, it was simply a fairly ordinary looking "high-powered auto"

However over the years, it gained more "personality", with the addition of body work giving it more of a "bat" look. Over the years, various incarnations of the Batmobile came about, from a sedan to something resembling a huge tank. However, it typically resembles a black or very dark blue sports car, and it is crammed various optional extras, such as an on-board crime lab, various weapons, grappling lines, communication devices, as well as being armored to withstand a great deal of punishment.

Wonder Woman herself has a very memorable vehicle, the Invisible Jet. Actually, at first, Wonder Woman's plane wasn't a jet, but had a propeller, as seen here in an early comic. After all, she first showed up during World War II, and jets didn't come into common usage until after the war.

Later on, it gained jet engines. Still much later, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths, Wonder Woman gained the power to fly under her own power. However, readers were nostalgic for the Invisible Jet, so the Amazon Princess received a special gift from some grateful aliens: A transparent disk that could change into the form of whatever the user thinks of. Once again, Wonder Woman had her own set of wings.

Of course, DC Comic's character don't have a lock on neat ways to get around. The Fantastic Four, when they need to get around New York, use their flying vehicle call the "Fantasti-Car" by Reed "Mr. Fantastic" Richards. It was originally called "the flying bathtub" by The Thing. It did resemble such in its first form.

Fortunately, later revisions gave the Fantasi-car a much more stylish look, if not a more original name. The latest version appears in the new Fantastic Four movie, Rise of the Silver Surfer. In the comic book, the appearance of the Fantasti-car seems to change without notice, no doubt due to Dr. Richards' constant tinkering.

Another major Marvel super team, the Avengers, have their own way to go globe-hopping. A unique aircraft known as a Quinjet. Designed by Iron Man's alter-ego, Tony Stark, it can carry a group of super-heroes where they need to be in a hurry, and can also be equipped with specialized cargo for specific missions. It has also had one of the most constant looks in super-hero vehicles, it appears to be a short, almost stubby aircraft with comparatively small wings.With vertical landing and liftoff capabilities and a small footprint, the Quinjets allow the Avengers to land even on city streets. In fact, Captain America himself once got a ticket for illegally parking a Quinjet. Of course, the charges were later dropped, though Captain America commended the officer for not simply ignoring his duty.

So, there you have a quick look at super-vehicles. Proof you don't need to fly to get where you need to go when you are a super-hero. Be sure to join us again for more comic book knowledge here at Four-Kolor Kitty. Remember to send in your questions and suggestions! Until then, see you in the funny pages!

Decorate your Stick!

You'll need:

• A stick
• Zinc foil
• Glue
• sea shells
• Oddly-shaped pasta
• Foreign coins

Glue shells, pasta and coins onto your stick. You can use anything that has an interesting shape and texture, and that you think would make your stick look nice. Once your stick is covered with decorations, coat the whole thing with glue, and cover it with zinc foil. Press the foil down tight, so the shapes of the decorations show through.

Now your stick looks like the work of a master zincsmith!

Q: How was Gusteau's reviewed after Remy took over as Chef?
A: It got a five-star ratting.

Q: Why are rodents so blase' about spinal injuries?
A: They couldn't give two shakes of a rat's ass if they were paralysed.

Q: What is the most common wish of rodents who find a genie in a lamp?
A: Million buck teeth.

Q: Why did the rat get dipped for fleas?
A: They'd been plaguing him.

Q: Where do rodents like to sleep?
A: On soft rattresses.

Q: What did George Bushrat take away from the Mouselim terrorists at Guantanamo?
A: The Rat of Habeas Corpus.

Q: Where do gerbils like to go for dinner?
A: Seedy bars.

Q: Did you hear about the rodent brothel?
A: It features hourly rats.

Q: What did the cautious rat say to his chatty and distracted friend while out foraging?
A: You better shut your trap before someone gets hurt.

Q: Why did the Health Department close the restaurant that was attacked by rodent paratroopers?
A: Too many rats dropping.

Q: What story does Gilead want to write about himself and a certain Everquest 2 Troubador?
A: "Lady Ratterly's Lover."

In case it isn't obvious, the puns this week are in honor of a certain movie by Pixar. -Gilead

Hi there. Here's your Spindizzy @Action News survey for this week. What's your favorite thing to eat on The Fourth of July?

• Carl click-clacks, "Plankten. D'uh."
• Gilead chirps, "Fish."
• Sally says, "Opossa."
• Moolooite chimes, "Plasmadogs."
• Airborn grins and replies to Ba'ar, "Socks."
• Argon says, "Hamburgers and hotdogs."
• Candy cutely says. "Sardines, onion rings or bacon. None of which T ate on the fourth of JUly."
• Kinsor skriters, "Bananas! They're good year round!"
• Leslie pips, "Pickles."
• Travis says, "Beer Battered Chicken"
• Darius says, "Anything cooked on the grill."
• Austin says, "Ba'ar, I'd be quite happy with a bit of soon kueh."
• DTF ponders "Hm.... sloppy joe and chips and good cole slaw.... and plenty of soda.
• WhyteShadow says, "Cornbread comes to mind for some reason. That or ice cream and popsicles."
• Ginger writes down, "Fried chicken."
• Mavra says, "My favorite thing to have on the Fourth is corn on the cob! Lots of butter, of course."
• Nyni cutely says, "Whatever is served with no onions or stuffing?"

Argon and Mavra are suprised when Rin and Kazan complain of a shortage of cheese.

Got something that you'd like to contribute to @Action News, but aren't sure if you should, or how to do it? Just get in touch with Argon, Skyler, or Findra, and they'll be happy to help! Here are some basic guidelines, though.

Contributing a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org, or qmail/pagemail Argon, Findra, or Skyler, with your article!

• @Action News is published weekly sometime on Sunday.
• Articles received after midnight Pacific time on Saturday may be held and published in the next edition of @Action News.
• Most any type of story or article of interest to SpinDizzy's newspaper readers will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy.
• Things that occur in public areas are fair game.
• The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does,) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.

These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks!

Argon
Editor - @Action News