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On Thursday evening a group of SDers met to turn Portia, local vampire panda, back into a normal, living red panda. Portia was reluctant at first, but finally agreed to it. It was done as part of a religious ceremony. Portia was led to a mystical circle while Westly, local raven, cut loose with the mystical chant "Star of Life and circle of protection. Do not allow the creature of darkness to cross your sacred barriers, trap her here, until she is no longer a creature of night!"

It was then the fireworks began. Suddenly out of nowhere a large red pentagram erupted from under Portia's feet, slicing through the ground and covering over her feet. Portia became afraid and tried to get away but was repelled back into the circle by the protective magic.

Portia mumbled about the 'lack of niceties' and was directed to sit in a nearby altar that Westly had put up inside the circle. Westly gave the vampire a choice, either remain inside the circle alone forever or be changed back to normal. Naturally she chose the latter in order to be reunited with her friends.

Westly gave Portia a potion to help the transition to be painless. Portia drank of this and fell into a deep sleep while Morticon, local wallaby, hooked a heart monitor to Portia to make sure the red panda would survive the process.

Westly did a second incantation, turning Portia from a vampire to a corpse. A third incantation followed by an elaborate dance brought Portia back to life.

The healing process concluded when Wesley made Portia agree to atone for all the evil she'd caused when in vampire form.. At this point, a warm white and gold light poured forth from her body, shimmering and making waves of light as it did so. Meanwhile, tiny motes of silver light burst from her body and floated to the floor, furthering the light show.

Westly pronounced Portia to be hale and hearty, saying that she only needed to have rest and good food to regain her strength.

I am writing this on behalf of the other vampire hunters. We have called a temporary halt to the hunt.

There are a few reasons for this. Most of us find the news that Than is a vampire troubling, and none of us would ever slay her. But Portia's public feeding leads me to believe that vampires are still a threat to SpinDizzy. This unofficial moratorium on vampire hunting is, therefore, probably only going to be a temporary one.

Before we called this halt on the hunt, we conducted an attack against Portia and her allies. Portia escaped during the battle.

Skyler, local rubber bunny toy. was playing around on the Concert Island (The "park" of the day.) when Aushae, local dragon decided to jump on him, like doing a cannonball in water except on dry land! Seeing Aushae arcing through the air, Pathfinder, local red panda, ran for cover in a fox hole.

Aushae landed square on Skyler only to only to be sproinged back into the air randomly... seeming to sail over towards Scribbles' foxhole, "INCOMING...!"

Scribbles, local fennec, noted that it wasn't his foxhole as Pathfinder took refuge in Roofus Roo, local kangaroo's, pouch. The fennec was apparently making plans to bridge something which, to no one's notice, had appeared near enough for him to jump into.

As Scribbles jumped into the lower levels, Pathfinder into Roofus Roo's pouch, and Aushae into the foxhole, sand flew everywhere. This cause Scribbles to fall into the water. Down he went as the sand covered the dragon who's head soon reappeared out of the hole.

This was bad news for Scribbles as Aushae had now created a sinkhole, with Scribbles deep inside! What was worse for the fennec was as the dragon dug herself out of the hole, she was clawing and grabbing sand which as she made progress out, was backfilling in.

Luckily, Scribbles wasn't as deep in the hole as had been though, and soon he too popped out. As Aushae climbed out, she got a kiss from Austin, local coati / rabbit, and her mate. Luckily no one was hurt and no harm was done, but it did make quite the impression (a dragon shaped one,) on the Rose Garden.

We have decided, at last, to move Spindizzy into Fuzzball 6.

This will bring us to a more modern codebase, one supporting many new features ranging from ANSI colors through more flexible programming methods through things I don't yet understand.

We're hoping to be able to move over somewhere around the week of 7 August. However, to find what needs to be patched ahead of and during the changeover, we need beta testers -- people ready, willing, and eager to test out our current database, find what doesn't work, and help us figure out what has to be changed to make it work again.

To join the beta testers doesn't require any special work -- just log in to muck.spindizzy.org port 7074, with your ordinary character name and password. This has a snapshot of the database, running Fuzzball 6. Please try out every global, every program, every action, every exit, every description you can and report the ones that don't work.

You don't need to be a programmer or to have any special talent besides a sharp eye for things going wrong. Please try out guest life too, so that we can see how our guest-safeguards apply.

The main bulletin board +read/+write over *there* is to be used exclusively for reporting glitches and repairs. Sometimes we will just note that we have repaired something, if the details are too technical or can't be generalized to other problems.

The help of everyone who's determined, imaginative, thoughtful, and good at exploring the database will be greatly appreciated.

When we make the changeover, we will be using our normal live database. We will use this database, here at port 7072. Continue using the muck, and building, creating, recycling, and whatever else, right here just as usual. Everything on port 7074 will be lost when the change is made.

When it is done, we will have a more flexible, powerful, dynamic muck that everyone should find more enjoyable. We just need to ask for your help in the several weeks ahead. Thank you.

If you do spot any glitches -- rooms that aren't linked to their neighbours; descriptions that don't appear; mysterious errors in MPI reported as you walk through a place -- please let helpstaff or wizards know.

We'll need to know the room in which it happens, what you were doing when it happened, and the exact problem spotted.

Thank you, won't you
Austin Dern, Managing Editor

Q: Why did the detective suspect that the Las Vegas singer was the killer?
A: Because she kept telling the facts out of sequins! (courtesy of Kinsor)

Q: Why should you always sit and listen to the anecdotes of a six-legged procyonid?
A: He might be a talented raccoontaur.

Q: What do slender procyonidae tell?
A: Ringtales.

Q: What do you have to pay before a cacomistle will lift her black and white striped barricade out of the way of your car?
A: A Ringtoll.

Q: What's huge and cannibalistic, lives under a bridge, and is simply adorable?
A: A Ringtroll.

Q: Why don't more young male chiropterans learn to play baseball?
A: They always wind up stuck as batboys.

Q: Why doesn't Gilead swim in the typing pool?
A: Carp tunnel problems. (with thanks to Kinsor)

Q: What's the favorite cartoon of slow-moving herbivores?
A: Sloth Park.

Q: Why was Sam Starfall in a bad mood?
A: He and Helix had a heavy Flo day.

Q: What kind of car do French prosimians drive?
A: A Renault LeMur.

Q: Where should you keep the arboreal Papua-New Guinean marsupials in your closet?
A: On a Kangaroo Tree.

Q: What do you call a dainty weasel?
A: A Ferrette.

Q: What do you call an arachnid stashed away until matters are settled?
A: An Escrowpion.

Q: What is Elvis Pussyley's greatest hit song?
A: In the Gato.

Q: What was his scariest song?
A: You Ain't Nuthin' But A Hound Dog.

Q: WHat did Groomer and General Parvo do when Road Rovers went off the air?
A: They moved to Vegas and became a regular lozenge act.

Q: Where do felines go to lose all their money?
A: Las Vegas Catsinos.

Q: What's the fanciest Catsino in Las Vegas?
A: The Meowrage.

Q: Where can you go for anachronistic entertainment in Vegas?
A: Luxxor and The Camel Lot.

Q: Did you know that Las Vegas has the world's largest population of injured raccoons?
A: The place is just overflowing with one-armed bandits.

Q: Where did the evil wizard Sa-Rat-Man hold court?
A: Micengard.

This week we have a chat with Pete, local skunk.

Pete has arrived.

Pete says, "Hi"

Ba'ar growls, "Hey there Pete and thanks for helping me out with my column."

Pete says, "No problem."

Ba'ar growls, "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?"

Pete says, "Hmm, I've been here since about march 2004 I think."

Ba'ar nods, "What brought you to Spindizzy-other than those two hind legs of yours?"

Pete says, "Ohh, it's a nice place, the people are nice. I like it here."

Ba'ar growls, "Where were you before you lived here?"

Pete says, "Ohh, I've been to space with Casandro and Jake, space-cargo/trading busyness."

Ba'ar growls, "You were a 'space trader' as it were?"

Pete says, "After I met them, yes."

Ba'ar nods, "So what made you decide to leave the trading business and settle here?

Pete says, "Well we all did, but beeing here doesn't mean we won't go to space again."

Ba'ar growls, "What did you trade in?"

Pete says, "Ohh you know, mostly stuff that's valuable in one place, but not in the other. Stuff you can get cheap like diamond gravel, gold nuggets, foam."

Ba'ar nods, "So what's a typical day like for you here - or is there one?"

Pete says, "Hmm, typical day here. Well I get up, I currently live with Airborn at the airport, then do my usual morning chores and mostly hang around in the park."

Ba'ar nods, "If there was one thing you could change about Spindizzy, what would it be?"

Pete says, "Ohh, we need a better airport, but I and Airborn are going to fix that, soon."

Ba'ar growls, "What's wrong with the airport as of now?"

Pete says, "It's currently too small and non-public. It's also hard to reach. For those that know me, I find an airport useful from time to time."

Pete grins.

Ba'ar nods, "Are you working with Charlie the mouse/motorcycle on this? I understand he's an ex pilot."

Pete says, "Well he lives there too, but I haven't met him awake for quite some time."

Ba'ar growls, "Who do you admire the most?"

Pete says, "Hmm, that's a tough question."

Pete says, "Well currently Claude Elwood Shannon. He single-handedly created the theory of information while still riding a unicycle during the night while juggling."

Pete says, "He also invented the motoriced pogo-stick and the rocket-frisby."

Ba'ar nods, "So conversely who do you admire the least?"

Pete says, "Hmm, I don't think it's a good idea to flame people that way."

Ba'ar nods, "So other than improving our airpot, what plans do you have for the future?"

Pete says, "Well perhaps I should design new forms for myself. I'm polymorphic, you know."

Ba'ar growls, "So is this skunk your true form?"

Pete says, "Well it's my normal form. I'm specialiced in vehicles."

Ba'ar growls, "What do you mean?"

Pete says, "Well, wanna see a form?"

Ba'ar growls, "Sure."

Pete concentrates and starts to glow. He stretches his arms and as his whole shape get's fuzzy and blue. Slowly he reforms as a hovercycle.

Ba'ar growls, "Woah!"

Ba'ar growls, "So you can reform into vechicles?"

Pete nodnods.

Pete starts to glow and changes into his native skunk form.

Pete says, "Yes, among other things. I have a talent for designing them, I think."

Ba'ar growls, "So you design your own forms?"

Pete nodnods. "Sure.".

Pete says, "But if anybody has ideas, I wouldn't mind hearing them."

Ba'ar nods, "Is there a secret fact or desire about you that would surprise our readers?"

Pete says, "I guess many know about that already."

Ba'ar growls, "Know about what?"

Pete says, "Ohh, well I used to be a space-pirate."

Ba'ar growls, "Before or after you were a trader?"

Pete says, "Before."

Ba'ar grins, "So you switched to trading because you found it more profitable?"

Pete says, "No, not really. Being with the pirates wasn't all that enjoyable."

Ba'ar nods, "One more question before we go-do you have any words of wisdom for our readers?"

Pete says, "Hmm, uhm... Never jump off a high building when you cannot fly."

Ba'ar nods, "Good advice that. With that in mind, that concludes our interview. Again Pete, thanks!"

Pete says, "OK, thanks."

Pete smiles.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
I just lost my girlfriend and am despondant. What to do?
- Alone

Dear Alone:
Take up Tennis. It's the sport where LOVE means NOTHING!

Dear Bearing Up:
When will the bring back the TV show Greg The Bunny?
- Junction Jack

Dear Junction Jack:
When Richard Simmons decides to quit the 'diet kick'.

Dear Bearing Up:
Boxers or Briefs?
- Fruit Of The Loom

Dear Fruit Of The Loom:
Neither, Jeans!

Dear Bearing Up:
How will Vixie survive the upcoming 'Cuteness Contest'?
- Tiresta

Dear Tirest
She'll poison all the other contestants so she'll be the only one and thus win handily!

Dear Bearing Up:
What's better, Disneyland or Disneyworld?
- Elias

Dear Elias:
Neither! Cedar Point in Sandusky Ohio!

Greetings all, Ba'ar here with the Spindizzy @Action News Survey for the week. What was your most embarrassing moment on Spindizzy?

• Scribbles says, "It's embarrassing! I won't tell! Or I would be embarrassed!"
• Argon says, "I found that a romantic global response that I thought only Mavra could see was seen by everyone in the room. That was back when I had blong hair."
• Alfie says, "My most embarrassing moment didn't happen! Nope, didn't happen. Who saw anything? Certainly not me! Meow. =^.^="
• Gina_Doberman says, "Don't really recall any!"
• PatchO'Black mews, "Mine isn't very original. I MAVed a rather personal page to the wrong person..."
• Tzolkin doesn't remember.
• Suri - "What's embarassment?"

THIS WEEK'S CAPTION

• What? You mean this isn't the Star Trek convention? - Ba'ar
• It's not a person! A horse! - Scribbles
• The Cowardly Lion meets Hans Solo - Argon
• Dude, the back of your pants is ripped and I can see... That's so *nasty!* - Gilead
• Damn, I've been chasing the wrong kind of tail. Mrowr! - Alfie
• I do believe in Romulans. I do, I do, I do! - Gina Doberman

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

• One Year Ago - / Spindizzy taken onto Space Escalator
• Three Years Ago - / Spengo moving further away from Spindizzy

Each week @Action News will print the "Eventlist" notices here. This list will be accurate as of press time, but be sure and check it during the week. Activities and events can be proposed, rescheduled or event cancelled for all sorts of reasons. So stay "in the know" by checking Eventlist often.

To get a list with details as shown here, enter eventlist #week #long.

The following events are scheduled within the next 7 days:

+Number: 1
+Title: Cuteness Contest!
+From: Sun 07/23/06 07:00 PM +To: Sun 07/23/06 07:45 PM
+Location: Golden Gate Bridge (t #2636)
+Age: All
+Event Owner: Scribbles
+RSVPs (2): Portia Scribbles

+Description:
I am holding a cuteness contest! The name should be self-explanatory. Show up cute! Contestants do not need to apply in advance. Have fun, and again, be sure to show up cute! I look forward to the cuteness!

Due to time restraints, I wasn't able to scrawl out a cartoon this week. Instead, here is a classic one from the June 23, 2003 edition by Gilead. - Argon

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, or Ba'ar about it.

@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News

Thanks! Ba'ar, Associate Editor @Action News