May 29, 2005
Volume V - Issue 249
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.
Argon's tail is dragon
In last week's @Action News, a story concerning the Doctoring of Dragons contain an inacuracy. This reporter asked, "...how... you could tell a dragon was running a fever? As they breath fire, amoung other powers, he wasn't sure putting a thermometer in Aushae's mouth would give an accurate reading of her temperature."
Aushae, local silver dragoness, took exception to this story as it was based on only a very general knowlege of dragons gathered from movies, fairy tales, and PBS childrens' shows. Seeming to think I needed a lesson in the fact that not all dragons match the fire breathing stereotype of movies and TV, she used her magic to make me a dragon for a while!
The change was painless and took place in the Rose Garden. Aushae levitated me over the fountian and started 'molding' me into a dragon shape. She pulled my tail into a long one no hair but instead scales, she formed a crest, and molded my hind legs into dragon legs with claws. She then pulled and positioned my forelegs into wings, and my human torso and its arms into forelegs and a handsome (for a dragon,) head and neck. I found myself covered with blue scales. As she finished, Aushae noted that I made a fine water dragon
As expected I was quite suprised, and just like when I was changed from human form into centaur form, changing from centaur form into a dragon took some getting used to. I found that I could fly, although it was touch and go, and I never did do it very well, but the suprize came from my status as a water dragon. I seemed to be able to 'read' water. I could see current in streams and rivers, I could open the water tap and know where the water had been and where it was going. I could look at clouds and know if and when they were going to rain. I could even look at ice cubes and see where they had come from. It turns out that water doesn't like to be frozen into ice. It prefers to be water or vapor so it can move and go as it wills.
Later, Aushae asked me what lesson I had learned from being a centaur. I told her the main lesson I'd learned was that I prefer being a centaur. But that I was reminded of a complaint I sometimes make about being one; that most folks assume that, as told in the old stories and myths, centaurs are wild drunken womanizers who have no regard for anything other than their own pleasures. I hope I have shown this not to be true. It is also true of dragons. Not all breath fire, eat virgins and guard a hoard of gold in a lonely mountian top.
Aushae is an ice dragon and breaths, well ice. She is also a "life-weaver", but I'll let her explain what that is.
So, I fell into a trap I urge others to avoid. I based my thinking on stereotypes and rumors that weren't true. Although I don't usually turn folks who believe all of us are like the myths into centaurs, I do try and correct those misconceptions. Aushae has a different way of doing it, but her message was clear.
And as of press time, I was back to my normal centaur form. Much to the relief of my wife, Mavra.
Body shop to open
I am planning on opening a small but hopefully profitable busness in a few days
It is going to be a body shop, in a literal sense of the word; I and some others that might be helping me are willing to help others who want to change how they look or what they are; working as of now on a simple barter system we'll offer to help anyone who wants to shape thier body into a new look.
Asked if the shop will have any particular specialty, Sanogan replied, "Yes, also I will help them to mix forms and shapes if they so wish; and there is always a adaptation period that I shall aid with. As with your normal body, such changes become peramant unless the person tells me in advance that they wish to only hold the form for a certain time.
Sanogan noted that the shop will be west of the Rose Garden past a strange looking small scale city. The outer park of the area is open if you would care to see but the building itself, is still being constructed. It should be up and running in 3 to 4 days.
In step with: Andrew
Greetings! Ba'ar here with the latest in a series of interviews with the local residents of Spindizzy. Today we sit down to talk to Andrew, local centaur.
Ba'ar growls, "Thanks for consenting to this interview Andrew. Our readers and I appreciate it."
Andrew says, "You're welcome."
Ba'ar nods "Okay let's start. Our readers know about you and some have even met you 'in the pelt' as it were. For one thing, how long have you been here in Spindizzy?
Andrew says, "I've been here 16 days."
Ba'ar growls, "I hope you decided to stay here. It's a wonderful place."
Ba'ar growls, "I understand you were born a human and transformed into a centaur. How did this come about?"
Andrew says, "That is currently under investigation, but I believe it may have gene manipulation, not natural evolution."
Ba'ar nods "As I understand it some of our other centaurs were created through gene manipulation. Now then."
Ba'ar growls, "How long have you been a centaur?"
Andrew says, "About a year and a half."
Ba'ar growls, "How have your family and friends responded to your being a centaur?"
Andrew says, "The family showed concern and surprise, what few friends I had stuck close. I have gained many more friends as well."
Ba'ar growls, "What are the advantages of being a centaur? Any disadvantages? "
Andrew says, "Many advantages, such as increased speed, strength, and better health in general. Disadvantage: Stairs are a problem."
Ba'ar growls, "As you may know, Spindizzy has a rather large centaur population. Did you seek us out because of the many centaurs that live here?"
Andrew says, "I actually didn't know there were any centaurs here at first. I found out through the Centaur FAQ on the website."
Ba'ar growls, "I hope you have met many of the promnent centaurs here. "
Ba'ar growls, "Of course you've met Argon and Mavra..but how about Rown and Windwhistler?"
Andrew says, "I've met Windwhistler, but not Rown."
Ba'ar nods "If you could change back into a human again, would you? "
Andrew says, "Not unless my life depended on it, being a centaur would probably get me out of most jams anyways."
Ba'ar growls, "So would it be safe to assume that you're happier as a centaur?"
Andrew says, "Without a doubt, yes."
Ba'ar growls, "If you were made Spindizzy's king, what changes would you make?"
Andrew says, "I wouldn't change a thing as of right now."
Ba'ar growls, "Oh? You wouldn't make things more centaur friendly? Such as more softly padded walkways for your hooves?"
Andrew says, "Maybe, but it might be easier to just use padded shoes. I'm use to hard surfaces anyways."
Ba'ar nods "Do you have any plans for the future?"
Andrew says, "Get a university degree in some form of engineering and climb the chain of command of whatever I'm in."
Ba'ar growls, "What secret fact or desire about you would surprise our readers?"
Andrew says, "I am actually semi morph capable. That and I desire a life partner."
Ba'ar growls, "Semi morph capable? Please explain that? "
Andrew says, "I can temporarily return to human form, but only for an hour or two at a time. It's very tiring to do."
Ba'ar nods "Any other forms you can change into or just human?"
Andrew says, "Just human, and it's rarely used."
Ba'ar nods "Because it tires you out...now then..one more question..."
Ba'ar growls, "In closing, do you have any words of wisdom for our readers"
Andrew says, "If an obstacle gets in your way, find a way to overcome it, no matter what."
Ba'ar growls, "That concludes our interview. Once again Andrew. Thanks a lot."
Andrew says, "It's been a pleasure."
Zach's Quoted Quote Question
|Can you guess where the quote was said and who said it? See the bottom of the paper for the answer.
"Hmmm...well...felines ARE supposed to be more nimble where stairs are concerned."
This week in history
Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?
Newspaper Circulation Report
@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.
Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.
Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear B. Blanks:
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear F. Boy:
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear Bearing Up,
Dear L. Strike:
Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to email@example.com. Thanks.
This week Ba'ar is doing the survey. His question this week is, "With the summer movie season coming up... describe a time when you have gone to see a superhyped must-see summer movie only to find out it was a dog?
Zach's Quoted Quote Answer
For a taurific time, take traveling tours with the taurs of Spindizzy. Just ask them for a lift, ride or walk, and they'll be glad to help. Just remember to obey the one rule which is no horsing around.
Yes our location is the Rose Garden as a lack of being able to get anywhere else, so keep exploring folks. The quote comes from the not a bit sith, jedi cougar Brenda.
The Doze Garden
Here is the Fruitbat response cartoon for last week's interview with Morticon!
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Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News