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Due to circumstances beyond our control, @Action News has been out of print for the last three weeks. Thankfully an animal control expert was able to remove the bats from our belfry and return our computer mice.

You may note one or two changes in the paper. Notably, the SpinDizzy_muck LiveJournal community highlights aren't running this week. It seemed somewhat repetitious to repeat things that have already been published on the Internet. If there is enough demand I'll start running them again. You'll also note some of the stories may seem like "old news", and they are. At least, they happened a week or two ago. They were contributed while the paper was on hiatus so think of them as "catching up". They all seemed to be of interest to @Action News readers, even if run a little late.

Lastly, I had someone ask me if I could get someone else to do the cartoon. Not that they were complaining about my sense of humor and art skills, but just for a little variety. I explained that I often ask for contributions and publish the ones I get, but on the weeks none are sumitted I make up ones of my own.

So please feel free to contribute cartoons or other articles. They will be gladly accepted!

And thanks to all of you for your patience while the paper wasn't being published, and your concern about its editor. It's very much appreciated!

Argon
Editor, @Action News

Sunday evening, January 30, Elizabeth, local black panther, invited Gilead, local otter, over to the Snowy Abode outside her cottage in Fluff Village. The area off of her cottage had changed from a Garden Terrace to a Snowy Abode, almost magically. Gilead and Elizabeth were just having some good fun, sliding down the hill on a snow tube, tossing snow at each other, and playfully making snow angels and snow otters! But, then, along came Morticon, local wallaby and evil doer, to cause some trouble. Morticon was wondering about all the white stuff and why it was so cold. Both Gilead and Elizabeth tried to explain about freezing water, and such, but then just gave up and pounced Morticon, proceeding to throw snowballs at him.

First, it was playful, but then, both Gilead and Elizabeth went behind a snow fort and used a catapult to hurl snowballs at Morticon. They even attempted to hurl a very large one at Mort, but, even with Gilead's precise calculations, the snowball didn't hit Morticon! Even so, Morticon was covered in the white stuff, and had to take cover behind an opposing snow fort, which was up hill from Gilead and Elizabeth's, and call in for reinforcements! He called in Aina and she arrived ready to help him, armed with a snowball hurling weapon. But, Gilead and Elizabeth said no guns, so, she had to use her ingenuity to help Mort.

Aina got behind the fortress and used their catapult to hurl snowballs toward Gilead and Elizabeth. While this was going on, Gilead and Morticon battled paw to paw, tail to tail, thwopping their tails in the snow to make it fly in the air and into each other's faces. Elizabeth got showered with snow, too, from Morticon's tail. Aftermuch battling, Gilead got hold of Morticon and started burying him in the snow. Elizabeth kept up her bombardment of snowballs, and poor Morticon was white, instead of his usual brown color.

Meanwhile, Aina began making a very big snowball to hurl at Gilead and Elizabeth's fort. She launched it at the fort, and Elizabeth made a shield appear, but, when Gilead ran toward the fort, he bumped into the shield! A large snowball Aina lobbed hit the fort's wall, and caused the shield to weaken and one wall to collapse. It looked like it was a loss for Gilead and Elizabeth. But then, Aina tried to put a really big snowball on her and Morticon's catapult. Suddenly, she heard a CREEEK..and, it broke the catapult! Gilead and Elizabeth thought they had won!

But, while Gilead and Elizabeth were congratulating each other, Aina started rolling a small snowball into a larger one behind the fort. It started rolling, first breaking through Aina and Mort's fort, and then down the hill. In true Indiana Jones style, music and everything, the large ball came rolling toward Gilead! Oddly enough, the snowboulder started to follow Gilead to the cue of the Indiana Jones music. The boulder gathered up snow and speed and became the size of a house, still rolling toward Gilead! Elizabeth watched this happen and didn't know what to do! Morticon threw snow at her while she was distracted. Elizabeth scooped up snow and stuffed it into Morticon's pouch! He scooped it out, shivering, and went over to where Aina was. Meanwhile, the snowboulder followed Gilead as he slid toward a tree. He reached out a paw and flipped himself around the tree, sliding back up alongside the snowboulder, and gave it a raspberry as he went past! The snowboulder rolled off into the horizon, shouting obscenities at Gilead!

Then, it became a hand to hand fight, with Elizabeth, Morticon, and Aina just pelting each other with snowballs. Along came Gilead! He slid, at full speed, (18 MPH) with his paws folded smoothly back, and came to a complete stop before ramming Aina, by putting all four paws out in front of him. That of course, transferred 720 miles/hour of momentum into the snow his paws passed through. Elizabeth moved away from the snow wall just in time! Aina couldn't escape, and got buried under a mound of forward plowed snow! The only thing sticking out of the snow was her tail! Elizabeth and Gilead piled on top of Morticon, and said, 'We won!' Elizabeth high-fived Gilead! Morticon was defiant, and didn't want to admit it, but, finally, said, 'Okay, Okay, You win!' Gilead panted tiredly, and Elizabeth just flopped in the snow, resting. Gilead nuzzled everyone. They dug out Aina, who was almost blue, and then they all went into Elizabeth's cottage to have hot chocolate and warm up by the fire.

Much risk was taken to even report this story, for fear of retribution from the SED, but I think the risk was well worth it!

The story of how local Red Kangaroo Cassyroo becoming a Joey started several months back when she went for a walk/hop one day and ended up in the Rose Garden and happened upon local Garter Snake BarterGarter's cart. Seeing her oppertunity to cause a little mischief, which is her want to do as a member of the feared group known as the Society of Evil Doers aka "SED" (lead by it's fearless [fruitless?] leader, local Wallaby Morticon) she proceeded to do so and when she was confronted by BarterGarter as to what she was up to, local pre-teen Flying Squirrel Zach came to BarterGarter's aid and whipped up a massive vortex which not only sucked Cassyroo into it's funnel, but Zach, BarterGarter AND her cart as well, sending the trio flying through the skies of SpinDizzy until finally crash landing on top of the SpinDizzy Television Studios, the cart landing on top of Cassyroo and knocking her silly. Cassy sat up after awhile and started rubbing her head and looking at both BarterGarter and Zach with a very befuddled and confused stare and asked them (without her usual strong Aussie accent) just who they were, and even stranger who SHE was! It seemed as though BarterGarter's Cart had knocked the poor 'Roo senseless, for not only did she NOT know who they were or who she herself was, but she was also very kind and very polite.

Well at this point after a bit of interegation on BarterGarter's and Zach's part, Cassyroo hopped off, wandernig aimlessly throughout the land of SpinDizzy, not knowing who she was or even where she lived, so she started staying in caves and where ever else she could find a place to rest for the night. According to this reporter's source this continued on for a good two weeks, part of which was spent worshipping Cave Bears as BarterGarter, not liking the 'Roo had pulled a nasty trick on Cassy by telling her that her true name was "Butch Swaggerty" and that she was a very astute Cave Bear Worshipper and that her "Prayer Chant" that she had to perform everyday to the Ursine Deities was the song from Disney's Jungle Book called "The Bare Nessessities" and that she was to always do a silly little skipping dance to it while making several Care Bear Plushies wearing Loni Anderson Leather Bikinis perform lewd acts upon themselves, which amused everyone to no end.

As stated before these acts continued for about two weeks until local Porcipine Archer Sunshine got wind of just what BarterGarter was doing to the poor 'Roo and decided to set the snake straight and tell Cassyroo who she really was, which confused Casssy even more which caused her to slip in and out of a state of Joeyhood in her mind but not physically, that is until at the time local Raccoon Laura found Cassyroo one day in her state of Joeyhood and found the way Cassyroo was actting and thinking to be just adorable, so she got Cassyroo to thinking that she was her "mommy" and she was even able to regress Cassyroo's body back to that of a tiny little month and a half old Red Kangaroo Joey.

That is where the story of Cassyroo stands at this time, and you can be certain that if you happen to see local Centaur Argon in the Rose Garden and Cassyroo happens to be there that she is atop Argon's back for she is very taken with the Centaur and apparantly is "in love" with him, though in her own little way. The cute little joey also seems to have been "adopted" by a small group of protectors who watch out after her and take care of her while she is hopping about the realm unsupervised. Just a few of her "Aunies n' Unca's" (as she herself has been heard to called them on occasion) are her favorite friend Argon, her best prickly "Aunie" Sunshine, Findra (who's ears she LOVES to play with and pet) and Austin, who seems to have taken a bit of a liking to the little joey and even grunts and chirps to her in her own language, which illicits a cute barrage of little chitters, grunts and prrrrrrrrrrls from the excitable little joey.

As folks were enjoying the company of one another in the Oak Park, Patch O'Black, local Jellicle cat, who had been handing out oatmeal served in edible bowls and eaten with spoons that were also edible, set up some hoops on ropes and a trapeze.

This caught the eye of Austin, local coati / bunny, who scrambled up into the rigging and using his elasticity, stretched himself from one ring to another and then to the trapeze bar.

At the same time, Beltrami, local balloon / dragon and her new operator, Roofus Roo, were doing some work on Jake, local cybernetuc kangaroo / rat. Beltrami was using Roofus to alter the color and material of Jake's "mechanical" aspects changing them from a metallic sheen to a more transparent green "iPod" look.

Jake seemed quite happy with the result as did Roofus and Beltrami. Austin on the other hand reminded Argon, local centaur of the tangle of wires behind his computer. Austin, hearing that comment noted, "Well, they're certainly not gearing up, ready to pounce and attack you, that's for sure! Ha-ha."

The centaur kept an eye on the coati for the rest of the morning.

(Ed. note: A little late but still funny. Thanks, Gilead.)

Q. Why did the male deer talk to his girlfriend's chest?
A. He wanted to have a real hart-to-heart chat.

Q. What do hogs celebrate on February 14?
A. St. Valenswine's Day.

Q. Who makes swine fall in love?
A. Cupig.

Q. Who makes otters fall in love?
A. Cute-pid.

Q. What do fruit bats get their lovers for St. Valentine's Day?
A. A box of flowers and a bouquet of chocolates.

Q. Why did the hyena eat the wildebeest's chest cavity?
A. o/~ You gotta have heart... Yeah you gotta have heart... o/~

Q. How much do centaurs love each other?
A. From the bottom of their bottom heart.

Q. What did Frankenstein give his monster on Valentine's Day?
A. A card-shaped heart.

Q. And where did he learn to make both it and the monster?
A. Hearts and Crafts Class.

Q. Where do mice learn to make cheesy gifts for their lovers?
A. Arts and Kraft.

Nocte, wolf/silver dragon, announced proudly to the Rose Garden crowd that he was no longer so easily brainwashed. Nocte has had a problem with rhythmic patterns of blinking lights, which would captivate him and leave him highly susceptible to any suggestion. This is a particular problem in the morning crowd as Beltrami, balloon human/dragon, keeps referring to her operator (Roofus_roo, in a well-received cameo appearance), which has a great number of lights inside of many colors that blink in many variable patterns.

After assuring the crowd of his safety, Beltrami let Roofus_roo resume the Star Trek-like display inside the fairy-kangaroo's skin, and Nocte held out for several minutes before freezing in place and becoming helpless to do anything but stare at the kangaroo.

With typical sensitivity to the plight of others Austin Dern, elastic coati-bunny and adoptive grandfather of Nocte, took a page from the new Chinese New Year and suggested Nocte was a rooster. Nocte was driven to scratching at the ground, clucking, and flapping his forelegs, while in a funny voice asking for relief.

Nocte has since received further posthypnotic suggestions, which he asserts remove his vulnerability to suggestions from anyone but a trusted individual, but which do leave him in a glazed, hypnotized stare at the lights. He insists that all one needs do to reboot him in these cases is to turn off the blinking lights and order him to wake up.

Star-Sight, My Little Pony Pegasus, received a full-body makeover this past week from Beltrami, balloon human/dragon, and her trusty operator Roofus_roo, fairy robot balloon kangaroo princess. Roofus_roo shone a particular light through Star-Sight that took away his opacity. Though Star-Sight is physically unchanged his interior is nearly entirely clear, and only his skin has a blue tint.

The inspiration for the transparent look Star-Sight attributes to Beltrami, but agreesm "I kind of like it." Asked by Austin how "being part of Beltrami's insidious plastic army of infiltration [ is ] working out for you?" Star-Sight explained he did not feel plastic, but admitted he has not tried stretching himself the way the elastic or flubber creatures here have.

He describes the transparency as "working fine so far". Asked if he's able to see behind his head now, he reported, "Beltrami says I should be able to. Sounds too confusing to me; I try not to think about it."

Tottle, two-headed hare, has been spotted in public with just the one head on his shoulders this past week. Tottle explains this as just the consequence of not feeling quite energetic enough to play his typical two-headed persona, and that this is not a permanent change in himself.

Felix, boy squirrel, received a (beltated) Christmas Present of a Junior Operator from Beltrami, balloon human/dragon. The operator is a piece of super-technology from Beltrami's homeworld giving the bearer remarkable abilities beyond those of nonmagical entities, and the Junior Operator is a golf ball-sized globe with about a dozen blinking lights hanging from a rubber band.

Days after receiving it, and learning how to use it to create sugar cubes for My Little Pony Pegasus Star-Sight and pegadonkey Lightnin', Felix was driven to fits of agony when he lost it. A few days later he was able to see Beltrami and apologize; Beltrami, who lost her original operator to pirates months ago, seemed unbothered. Austin, elastic coati-bunny, had the Junior Operatory anyway and was happy to return it.

Standen, young leopine, this week was zapped by Tarka, renowned otter of doom, and turned into a female 'quasi-otter' herself. Tarka's motives can only be guessed at.

(Ed. Note: This edition of News from Duma Mountain comprises reports from the last several weeks. My thanks to Ray for keeping the reports coming while the paper was not being printed. Argon - Editor, @Action News)

SpinDizzy's weekly Bardic Circle (Poetry/Filk gather) met Friday, February 4, at 7:00pm SpinDizzy time, in a on Luau Beach, moderated by Ray. In attendance at varying times were: Elizabeth, Chanspot, Jac, K'purra, Amnenth, Gilead, Ba'ar, Tarka, Adara, Nyako, and Lupinetiger.

Ray began the session, singing a quasi-furry song, titled, "Jungle," From the Electric Light Orchestra album "Out of the Blue." Jac followed with an (uncredited) humorous parody of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven." K'purra then read Tennyson's poem "Break, Break, Break." Ray continued, with an original Hawai'ian Mele (song), titled, "Mele o Malihini" (Song of the Visitor).

Chanspot then read an original, abstracted, untitled, computer poem. Tarka read an original poem, titled, "If I Was Not." Jac then recited an original, esoteric work, titled, "Tome of the Shroom." (something a group wrote in 93 when [they} formed a loose group... called The Church of the Sacred Mushroom). Tarka resumed with another, original poem, titled, "Dinner Hour." Adara sang a song by Enya, titled, "Pilgrim."

Tarka read yet another, original piece, titled, "Passport." K'purra recited a short poem by Stephen Crane, about a man addressing the Universe, and the Universe's reply. Ray then read another original poem, titled, "Quiet Passion." K'purra followed with "The Cremation of Sam McGee," by Robert Service.

The hour grew late, and the moderator withdrew, inviting those in attendance to continue.

SpinDizzy's weekly Bardic Circle (Poetry/Filk gather) did not meet Friday, February 11. Instead, Elizabeth, Ray, and Soul_Fox held a Mid-Winter Luau, a Hawai'ian-style party under the stars, on Luau Beach (Luge S7 E4, [B]asalt [P]illars, [E]nter [P]ortal), from 7:00pm Spindizzy time, until approximately 10:00pm. In attendance at varying times were: Mouser, Cadmus, Nyako, Elissa, Elericia, Kulan, Argon, Selethrial, Leslie, Roofus_roo, PatchO'Black, Daystar, Gilead, Borris, Ba'ar, Jason, Clarisa, Nimble, Ronnie, Mavra, and Scandal. The guests were all greeted with hugs and plumeria blossom leis (flower garlands).

Soul_Fox served up a sumptuous, Hawai'ian feast: A Luau. At each diner's place was a Lau Hala mat to sit on, woven from the leaves of the pandanus tree. Placed before each mat were plates and bowls of Monkeypod wood, containing such 'Ono (delicious) delicacies as Limu (seaweed), Opihi (limpets served up in the shells), Poi (pounded taro root, uncharitably compared in taste and texture with wallpaper paste), Uhi (baked yams), Teriyaki grilled Mahi Mahi (dolphin /fish/, not to be confused with Nai'a, the mammal), and Lomi-Lomi Salmon (diced cold with tomatoes and onion). Broadening the menu, a bit, were Shira-ae, Japanese vegetable and tofu salad, and Tsukemono, pickled vegetables. Also served were oblong loaves of Pao Doce (pronounced "pawn deuce," Portuguese sweet bread). Rock sea salt was provided, along with green onions, as a garnish. Generous as this example of island Ho'Okipa (hospitality) might have seemed, it was only a prelude to the main course...

In the middle of the lawn was a steaming heap of slightly-wilted Taro leaves; the smell which emanated from beneath them was /quite/ tantalizing, redolent of pork and chicken and fish... Soul_Fox then lifted the banana leaves off the steaming Imu pit (underground oven), revealing the main course: Kalua Pig (Hawaiian style roast pork). He served it up shredded and tender off the bone. Soul_Fox also served up Taro-leaf wrapped Puolo (bundles) of Lau Lau (Imu steamed chicken and butterfish).

Finally, Soul_Fox served up dessert: Lilikoi (passion fruit), papaya, mango, guava, baked bananas with brown sugar and rum sauce, and Haupia, a Delicately-flavored coconut pudding.

The featured beverages were MaiTais in hollowed pineapples, with the obligatory paper parasols, Kona Coffee, or Guava-Passion nectar.

Following the feast, several furs danced a Hula beneath the stars to the accompaniment of Soul_Fox on log drum. After that, a sand-sculpture contest resulted in several creations, though the competition was judged to be a draw. Furs then went swimming in the warm waters (no one got any after-dinner cramps). The evening ended as furs went home well-fed, fragrant flower leis a fragile reminder of the evening's festivities.

Spindizzy's weekly Bardic Circle (Poetry/Filk gather) met Friday, February 18, at 7:00pm Spindizzy time, on Luau Beach, moderated by Ray. In attendance at varying times were: Little_fox, Sonya, Firewind, Elizabeth, Elissa, and Portia

Ray began the session, reading an original poem, titled, "LifeYears," in honor of Elizabeth's birthday. He followed with another original poem, titled, "Hope Blossoms." Firewind and Little_fox then performed a duet of "Phantom of the Opera." Ray lightened the mood with a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" filk, titled, "Faith," (to the tune of the familiar song by George Michaels, words by Gareth D. Layzell).

Ray changed the mood with another original poem, titled, "The Wages of Devotion," followed by yet another original piece, titled, "Dancing Alone." Sonya and Little_fox performed "Crymson & Crystal," by Julia Ecklar. Ray followed with another original poem, titled, "Renewal." Little_fox performed an uncredited "Star Trek" filk, titled, "Open Hailing Frequencies." Ray followed that with another Trek filk, "50 Ways to Kill an Ensign," (Lyrics copyright 1992 by Joel Polowin. To Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" ). Then Ray performed the classic Trek filk, "Banned from Argo," ( Words and Music: Leslie Fish, from The Westerfilk Collection, Volume One Copyright 1980 by Jordin Kare. )

On request, Portia perfromed an extemporaneous poem about "Birthday." Finally, Sonya sang "Ferryman," by Leslie Fish.

The hour once again grew late, and the moderator withdrew.

The next session will be Friday, February 25, from 7:00pm to 9:00pm Spindizzy time (luge S7 E4, [B]asalt [P]illars, [E]nter [P]ortal). All are welcome, either to read or just to listen. Check the eventlist for more details.

Notice: If anyfur would like to see any of the poems, songs, or filks mentioned in this or any previous edition of Spotty Journalism printed in its entirety in this column, please pmail Ray to request it. Space permitting, I will make arrangements. -R.

Spindizzy's weekly Bardic Circle (Poetry/Filk gather) met Friday, February 25, at 7:00pm Spindizzy time, on Luau Beach, moderated by Ray. In attendance at varying times were: Elizabeth, K'purra, Firewind, Junta, Laura, Sonya, Little_Fox, Findra, PatchO'Black, and Tarka.

The gather turned into a low-key party celebrating the Findra's good news of the week, that, iRL, she was able to retain employment and legal residency status. Findra provided refreshments, in the form of English chips (superior in all ways to French fries) served up sizzling hot with vinegar and salt. The convenient discovery of a buried cache of unspecified liquid refreshments complimented the chips nicely.

Ray began the session, singing an original filk in Findra's honor, titled, "Bunny":

"Bunny" (02/18/05)
(To the tune of "Money," by Pink Floyd, from the album "P.U.L.S.E.")

Bunny, she's a hop
Jackrabbit, dagnabbit, even French lop
Bunny, she's a leap.
Try to sleep, count coneys instead of sheep
Long ears, never fear, bunny's here, now
There's no need to have a moo cow

Bunny, cottontail
Never fail when you hop down the bunny trail
Bunny, this is why:
Why take away when you can multiply?
Wearing bona-fide, four on the floor, lucky rabbit's feet
Bunny just can't be beat

Bunny, she's just fine
Soft fur, cuddle her if you have the time
Bunny, as they say
Leaps and bounds, all around, ev'ry day
Just wait; you might get a hare-raising surprise when
she even comes your way.

Laura then sang, "Enery the Eighth I Am, I Am," by Hermans Hermits. Ray followed that with "Ancient Britons," by Keith Thompson. Then, Ray performed, "The Tale of Sir Robin," by Monty Python's Flying Circus. Laura followed with a segment of Monty Python's, "The Argument Sketch."

Findra then read a delightful, brief excerpt from a favorite, childhood program, "Bagpuss." K'purra followed that with a few, brief lines from Blake's "Tyger, Tyger," and, finally, "The Jumblies," by Edward Lear

The evening grew late, and the moderator once again withdrew.

The next session will be Friday, March 4, from 7:00pm to 9:00pm Spindizzy time (luge S7 E4, [B]asalt [P]illars, [E]nter [P]ortal). All are welcome, either to read or just to listen. Check the eventlist for more details.

Notice: If anyfur would like to see any of the poems, songs, or filks mentioned in this or any previous edition of Spotty Journalism printed in its entirety in this column, please pmail Ray to request it. Space permitting, I will make arrangements. -R.

Back issues from a year and more ago. Remember when...?

• One Year Ago / Pancake Day Celebrations A Huge Success
• Three Years Ago / Talking Shinies Invade Rose Garden; Residents Mystified

Due to having no issues published the last three weeks, this feature will resume next week.

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up,
My perscription costs are through the roof! What should I do?
- Rx

Dear Rx:
Move to Canada

Dear Bearing Up,
My neighbor says lindseed oil will remove stains out of kitsune fur. Is this true?
- Heloise

Dear Heloise:
No, but it'll remove stains out of bear fur.

Dear Bearing up,
My neighbor asked me about getting stains out of kitsune fur. Since he wasn't a kitsune, I asked why he wanted to know. He said his cousin was a kitusne. I told him what I thought would work, but then I heard a gunshot at his cousin's house. Does this sound suspicious?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
No, a gunshot is a part of everyday life.

Dear Bearing Up:
If the best fish is for Boki, who are the best marshmellows for?
- J. Jacque Cousteau

Dear J. Cousteau:
Roasting over an open fire, of course!

Dear Bearing Up,
I've seen Pluto in the news a lot lately. What's the big deal about Micky Mouse's dog?
- C. Tombaugh

Dear C. Tombaugh:
He's been turned into a planet, that's what!

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

This week Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News. A tongue in cheek post by Argon had some folks believing he was in jail. Although he wasn't, what crime do you think Argon might have committed to put him there. (Keep in mind, he really wasn't in jail.)

• Tanuki - Survey answer: I thought you broke the Deadbeat Dad law.
• Ba'ar - I believe you were GUILTY of STEALING Mavra's heart, Argon.
• Tarka - Oh... I think you were finally captured by the state park rangers for leaving messes on their lawns. About time too.
• Nimble - I think you refused to pay the parking fee for your elephant. http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/laws7.htm (8th from the bottom) If elephants are required to have a parking fee paid, maybe centaurs are too. Maybe you refused to pay the parking fee for yourself.
• Cordelia dosen't know you well enough to answer, there's only a few things that'd land you a short time in jail, like shoplifting"
• Vixie says, "You claimed I wasn't cute."
• Borris says, "You stole a Horse."
• Laura churrrs, "You impersonated an officer's horse."
• Felina - Public indenecy, centuars don't wear pants afterall.
• Austin - "Wanted for the kidnapping of Drake Smollett."
• Tanuki barks, "My thought was that you were busted for something like the 'Deadbeat Dad' law."
• Gilead chirps, "Being like an ass, but not an ass? AKA public intoxication." Gilead means Equis assinus, of course, not a posterior.

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon, Carl or SDN about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News