Please don't forget tread the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.

The Olympic award ceremony is mostly a blur to me, but I'll report as best I can on the events that transpired during it.

It started peacefully enough, furs gathering and enjoying the wonderful food prepared by Becky. Even Morticon showed up and when he was denined being allowed to eat any of the exquiste model of Spindizzy, also made by Becky, he left without incident, only a drumstick.

After a bit of socalizing and good food the Award Ceremonies got underway, with Adara, who planned all this, presenting the awards. At time of this writing, I can only assume that the actual events and winners will be covered in another article, so I'll only cover the things about the ceremony.

The presentaion of the awards went pretty smoothly, this fox even getting a few. However.. it was while I was being presented with my second award, for my competition in the pie eating contest.. that things went sour for the, so far, peaceful ceremony.

Anyone that knows me knows that I have a twin sister and while we normally get along, we still tend to act out in childish ways. This evening, being no exception.

Having figured out how the awards were being presenting, my evil twin got up and, without anyone noticing, had retrived a slice of pie.. After I'd been called up to retrive my Bronze for the Pie Event, that's when she acted, throwing the pie right at me!

I'd like to take this moment to explain something. Do not enter a contest involving food and centaurs, you will lose. I however, came out worse then just losing. In my attempt to at least try to win, I overstuffed myself with pie, of a once rather delisious flavor, but after that contest, that pie scares me like no other.

It was this type of pie that my sadistic sister, Divina, threw at me, catching me and all the others complete offguard. Let's just say that when that pie hit me, the rest of the night ended right there. I was instantly reliving that contest, stuffing my face with that .. lemony pie to the point where my body didn't really like me anymore.

I've only heard rumors of what transpired after I blacked out on the floor during the ceremonies, hints that more food was thrown, but like I said, I was in a nightmare filled with lemons and pie and evil foxes, taunting me and making it worse.

So, in closing, I've only a few remarks to remind people of. Don't eat against centaurs and please, please keep anything smelling or made of lemons, far, far away from me, or I'll tell Divina where you live and trust me, she's good at annoying people and you won't be happy.

Selethrial, local dragon-fox, talked to me about his joining the family of Austin and Aushae. I started by thanking him for taking the time to talk with me and asking who adopted him.

Selethrial smiles and bows deeply, "Your welcome, anything to let others know of Aushae and her love, kindness and friendship.""Well, I guess it should be who my new mother is. She's the silver dragoness Aushae. I've only been here a few weeks, met quite a few people, but no one like her, or Becky, but thats a different story."

Selethrial continued, "She's very motherly, wanting to look out for everyone and making sure they are doing well, IC and OOC. Those that seek to deepen their relationship with her, find an open and caring heart. She takes great pride in her family and helping out her friends."

I asked, "How did you meet her?"

Selethrial smiles, "I think it was late at night, few people online and we met here, in the Rose Garden. My memory of the actual meeting is kinda fuzzy, but I remember, I think it was that night, I was feeling very depressed and since all my friends were asleep, she and I talked a while.."

I then asked, "Aushae has a lot of family already, do you get along with the rest of them?"

Selethrial thought a minute and then answered, "I've only met Cara and Austin, but only in passing. She also has two new daughters, Nature and Aleu.. I liked that meeting with her, then later, with Divina and I, we joined with her. She'd kept talking about being part of her family and so this new form came along. I think she likes her family members bearing a part of her since we become a part of her, in essence. Today, with Aleu and Nature, we actually cememted my being one of her new sons.. though I don't know of any other sons she has.""

I asked, "Were you a dragon before, Selethrial?"

Selethrial shook his head, "Nope, I was always a fox, but it was hinted I had shapeshifting powers. Being part dragon, that theory is put to rest."

I asked, "How do you like the form?"

Selethrial smiled and showed off his wingspan, "I love it. Just as much as being a normal fox. Haven't had any flying lessons yet though, and not sure if I can breath fire or ice like Aushae seems able to do."

I replied, "I'm sure that will come with time and practice."

Selethrial smiled, "I'm sure it will too.

I said, "Well, congratulations, Selethrial, Seems you've become part of a very close and loving family."

Selethrial smiled and nodded, "I only hope to have the chance to meet all of Aushae's family members."

I finished the interview saying, "I'm sure you will, Thanks for the interview, Selethrial."

Selethrial smiled and bowed deeply, "You're welcome, anything to let others know of Aushae and her love, kindness and friendship."

Grumpybear painted up Grams Bear's white fence this week with the help of Hugs and Tugs. They wanted Grumpybear to play with them but he said he had other things to do and was really busy. But then Grumpybear said he had an idea from Huckleberry Finn or Tom Sawyer and pretended he was having a really fun time painting the fence, and Hugs and Tugs wanted to have fun too so they helped him whitewash the fence until it was all done.

Grams Bear didn't really want the fence painted but since it was white before and it was white when it was done she didn't know the difference. Leslie asked Grumpybear why they call it whitewashing when it's just painting a fence white but he didn't know the answer to that.

Gilead the co-otter-mundi said she hoped GrupmyBear didn't teach them any swear words to print on it, and GrumpyBear said he doesn't know any at all. Gilead said she spray painted some on a chain-link fence in silver paint but I think that was a joke.

Since June of 2001, I have moderated a Bardic Circle on SPR Muck; it was through those weekly gathers at Brigid's Well that I was fortunate enough to meet Butterfluff, who promptly installed itself as lead tech, co-moderator, and promoter of our little event. For that fortunate meeting, and for Butterfluff's friendship and assistance, I have much cause to be grateful.

Sadly, I only came to Spindizzy after Butterfluff's player passed away this past June; at the memorial, I discovered for myself what the Fluff had always told me about how wonderful this world is. I now want to contribute what I may to my newly-adopted home.

At the request of interested furs, I will begin moderating a weekly poetry/Filk gather starting Friday, September 10 (luge N5 W4, [B]asalt [P]illars, [E]nter [P]ortal). The sessions will start each Friday at 7:00pm Spindizzy time, to end at 9:00pm, unless it is decided to continue. Thanks to help from Findra, Quote-O-Matic.muf is up and running, for the convenience of those who prefer to use it; elsewise, just cut-n-paste your lines as sayposes, or you may "sing" them, as well.

Participation is not mandatory, though always encouraged. Those who wish just to come and observe are always welcome.

Rules of Bardic Circle Etiquette

1. You may present poetry, short prose, song lyrics, riddles; anything which might comprise the body of oral literature. Please credit any work you may present which is not originally your own, and have your materials ready to read, to save on delay.
2. Do your best not to pose or talk out loud while someone is reciting. If you have something you want to share, inform the Circle "leader" and you will be put on the list. Names will be called, making sure everyone gets a turn who wants one. Any commentary or asides, as may be appropriate, may be made once a reader has finished.
3. Feel free to share, or not, as you choose, but always remember: "Execution is secondary to expression.

I welcome any questions, please pmail me for additional details.

I hope to see you all at Spindizzy's Bardic Circle!

We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Atlantic Ocean and making two basic meteorological points.

1. There is no need to panic.
2. We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on our insurance industry experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

• STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
• STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.
• STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Floridia.

We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

• HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE:
  If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:
  

  (1) It is reasonably well-built, and
  (2) It is located in Wisconsin

  Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

• Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap.
• Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.
• Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.
• Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

Hurricane Proofing your property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc... You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE:
If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area). The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES:
If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

• 23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
• Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)
• A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)
• A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
• $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck, and remember: Its great living in Paradise.

Custom plushies made by hand. Can be as tall as 6 feet or as small as 3 inches. Don't be shy, we can makea plushie of just about anything you want. Note, the first handful of customers will get very cheap, if not free rates.

The fourth customer will get a special gift too.

Q: Where does a Secretary Bird sit?
A: On the Executive Branch, just below the President Bird.

Q: What do you call a shorebird that's good at martial arts, but can barely act?
A: Steven Seagull.

Q: What do you call a wise and ancient blackbird?
A: An old crow-ne.

Q: What do you call a shorebird who gets mediocre grades?
A: A C-gull.

Q: What kind of bird serves vampires?
A: A Wren-field.

Q: What kind of shorebird eats corpses?
A: A Sea Ghoul.

Q: Why did the blue bird get a ticket when she hopped along the ground?
A: She was caught jay walking.

Q: How do disabled birds get around?
A: In a wingchair.

Q: Why was the parakeet trying to hold a toilet under his wing?
A: He was going to the newspaper.

Q: Why did the sports-loving baby girl chick go to jail when she made her first sound?
A: She was a peeping tomboy.

Q: Why do birds with colorful beaks mate only in pairs?
A: Toucan. Three can't.

Q: What should you do when waterfowl flies too low?
A: Duck!

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That'ss me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up,
I hate Phys Ed class. How can I get out of it?
- Dexter

Dear Dexter:
Simple. Gain 100 lbs then you won't be able to do any of the exercises any more.

Dear Bearing Up,
They won't take my Visa card anymore. They say I owe too much. When did they start making you pay for the things you put on a credit card?
- M. Card

Dear M. Card:
Do you think that little piece of plastic was a license for free money? Wake up and smell the coffee.

Dear Bearing up,
Florida has gotten two hurricanes in the last three weeks. Is someone trying to tell us something about hanging chads?
- Argon

Dear Argon:
No, Flordia's hurricanes are the result of all the hot air coming from the state's politicians.

Dear Bearing Up,
Why does David Letterman use blue cards rather than white ones?
- J. Leno

Dear J. Leno:
Because he's colorblind.

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, swe figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

This week, Argon asked, "The currency on SpinDizzy changes frequently, you can see what it is by entering sc . What do you think would be a good thing for the currency to be?"

• Beltrami leaves a note for the survey: 'BIG DELIGHT IN EVERY BITE'
• Leslie pips, "Carrots!"
• Phoex says, "Propositions!"
• Felina giggles "Years bad luck?"
• DaemonNuit hmms..."Shinies seem like a good idea...or maybe marbles."
• Gilead chirps, "Fish."
• Suri says, "Molecules of dizinconene."
• Chanspot says, "Forgetful Coatis?" 'Diplomas at an online university' could be fun too.
• Librum suggests discontinued collectable plastic miniatures.
• Darius says, "Trogdors in the night, or unconfessed sins, because repenting and confession make you poor."
• Logan squeaks, "People transformed by NeverNever!"
• Morticon grins. "Flavor packets."
• Ba'ar growls, "For election season how about the currency being 'lame ducks'."
• Brenda -- I'd like for the currency to be 'bucks'. Mmmmm, deermeat...."
• Terry -- For the survey, 'currant seeds'?" to you.

The following is a short exerpt, from Heather, giving some details into a rather interesting chain of events that occured to her.

After several days of having fun with a certain wallaby, I was shown just how monsterous he can be after he and a certain fae-witch got so-called 'revenge' on me last week.

It had started out innocently as Morticon and Lilahfae had lured me to the beach near the Rose Garden. I Had not even considered that anything was amiss, taking things as a playful joke or some such. Moriticon was asking if I was going to hug him, only to move away from me when I'd get within arm's reach of him. They exited the garden to the east, taunting me until I ran after them.

After they had stopped, I grabbed Morticon, but that is when their evil little plan started to really roll and it was only seconds after I had done so, that Lilahfae sprinkled me with dust, causing me to shrink down to three inches tall, smaller than she was at the time. Morticon promptly caught me in a jar and put a lid on it. He was even "nice" enough to eventually remember to put holes in the lid. The two then spoke about what my fate was going to be until Morticon got it in his head to make me into a marionette, stating that it'd be him getting even for all the times I made him wave.

Morticon created a small ring in the sand so Lilah could tie the thread around my ankles and wrists for him. To make a long story short, Lilah eventually got the thread tied onto me and they took me back to the garden. This didn't happen fast enough, however as someone else happened upon us, discussing things with Morticon as Lilah did her part in the humiliation.

Once we were in the garden Morticon made me wave a couple times then I was left in the jar as the three of them departed. Thankfully others were there and I was set free from my glass prison just before I returned to my normal size.

Pandas listen to music on their "Bamboo-m" boxes.

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it tnewspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page @Action or sdnews about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren" t out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported dont have thave actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense tapply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News