Please don't forget tread the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.

A large group of contestants participated in the SpinDizzy 'Taur Races this week. Sponsored by Darla, local centaur, and assisted by Argon, another local centaur, the race took place in the Glade off of Centaur Square.

A grandstand had been set up with a full of the course. Starting out like a typical horse racing track, the course extended tthe spectators' right, across a fallow field, over a fence and intsome woods. A creek in the middle of the woods had tbe jumped, and a gully at the far end of the woods had tbe crossed also. After crossing the gully, the course, marked throughout by orange traffic cones, became a hard packed dirt track that beared tthe left and ended at the start / finish line in front of the grandstands.

Cmpetition was firece as the 'taurs, and thier passengers, were given the signal tstart. All the racers ran hard and their passengers worked with them tgfast. Most made a stright shot over the field, and some were able tjump and sail over the fence bordering the woods. The smaller 'taurs were able tslip under the fence, or jump through its slats.

The forest presented a problem for the larger 'taurs. They had tdodge the trees and avoid overhanging branches. The underbrush also slowed some, but again, the smaller 'taur forms had the advantage here.

All were able to jump the deep gully, and once onto the track it was a regular "horse race" to the finish line. The racers crossed the finish line in the following order; Terra, local minktaur and Austin local elastic coati, Darla local centaur and Spikey local pegadonkey, Alicia local Kitsube and Dameonuit local wolf, Argon local centaur and Tarka local saarmus, DripDry local raccoon, and Logan local rattaur.

No prizes were awarded except the good time that was had by all.

Felix, a young squirrel, was turned blue by a weird stream in the balloon fields. A while ago he waded through it to pull Firewind the fox out, except his shoes and feet got wet, and they both turned into blue balloons the same color of the stream. Only now it's harder to walk and jump and everything because he's still a boy and trying to walk on balloons for feet.

Beltrami who's a balloon woman and dragon thought Felix should try keeping his feet further apart which sort of worked, but he still needed to sit down once in a while because he got tired fast. Another really big silver dragon named Aushae came. She thought it was a better idea to dunk him all the way in so he'd be a balloon and a lot lighter to walk on. The lady dragon tied a string around his middle and then tied that to a big fishing pole. She dangled Felix over the stream at the end of the pole, and wanted to see what would happen if he swam in the stream. After all the trouble it's been for Felix to walk on just balloons for feet though he was more scared than anything else to do that.

Something happened that made the string break, and then Felix splashed into the stream. Beltrami the balloon dragged him out before too long with the help of a gadget on her backpack that made green light and made the spot around Felix dry. After getting out, even though Felix still only has air filled feet, all of his fur is blue too! The squirrel doesn't know why and neither does Beltrami, but Felix did think it was a little easier to walk after the strange splash in the stream.

Felix is still trying to figure out how the stream works and what it does, but someone else said Sonya, Firewind's good friend, is a balloon and was near the stream not too long ago. Beltrami wrote on her whiteboard that blue was a nice color too.

Two Spindizzian kits (who will remain unnamed because of their age) were caught in the act of stealing from one Peter Parker, a student of Spindizzy Arts and Sciences School.

One of the two kits confessed to having been the cause of the rash of thievery in Spindizzy as of late. The Necronimicon, a diamond ring, a towel, Gold Pantaloons, a pie, a potato gun, a very thin dime, a bar of soap and a teletubbie labeled "Property of SED" have all been returned to their proper owners. Parker, however, was pleased by the return of his shoelaces, Spiderman costume, apartment room key, wallet, and school id.

"That ***** [species withheld] has caused me a great deal of pain and suffering the past few weeks" Parker commented. Parker dropped his charges against the two kits and settled with Skye Corp (a company somehow related to one of the kits) for an undisclosed amount of money and an apology from the main culprit. One kit was returned to its parents. The second kit, an orphan, was released to the Skye Corporation for rehabilitation.

Ba'ar, local Bear hosted another "Punslinging Contest" this week. Following is an abbreviated transcript of the event. Ba'ar growled, "I've heard it said that a pun is the shortest distance between two straight lines... or something like that."
Argon says, "So what's the straight line?"
Ba'ar growled, "Anything."
Adara purrs, "So, how does this punslinging thing work?" Ba'ar growled, "The rules are simple. I throw out a topic and the punsters make a puns based on that topic. Play goes from player to player until one player can't pun any more. The survivor wins."

With the arrival of Gilead, local otter, the event began.

Argon says, "Guess that seals the deal."
Ba'ar growled, "No, that OTTERS the deal. *winks at Gilead*"
Adara purrs, "Ba'ar, you OTTER wait until the game starts for that kind of stuff!"
Argon says, "Ok. CLAM up."
Ba'ar grins at Adara "I sometimes can't HOLT it in."
Gilead thinks this smells fishy...
Adara . ( Are we playing yet? If we are, I'm not doing shot. )
Ba'ar growled, "Okay...."
Ba'ar growled, "Let's begin."
Gilead chirps, "You're all wet, Adara."
Gilead chirps, "I think you're in over your head."
Ba'ar growled, "Topic for this evening is...Animals....Now I know you may find this unBEARable but I know you can do it."
Gilead sits on his BUNs and ponders.
Argon thinks of OWL the animal names he knows.
Adara thinks of the PURRRfect pun!
Ba'ar growled, "By the way since I'm judge, I'm out of this automatically."
Gilead chirps, "That just BUGs me, Ba'ar. You should BEE in it too."
Gilead chirps, "cANT you?"
Ba'ar growled, "Would it be FER-RET for me to judge and pun at the same time, y'think?"
Argon says, "Oh, I don't mind if you play, Ba'ar. No need to Monkey around."
Gilead's really TICKed off by the rules.
Adara purrs, "But since he's the judge, he could tip the SCALE in his direction."
Gilead feels less CRABby after Adara's pun.
Ba'ar growled, "I'll BE-aver a player in this."
Adara purrs, "Good. You can't WEASEL your way out of it, Ba'ar."
Ba'ar growled, "when I pun it's always a bad urSINE."
Gilead chirps, "This is moving at a snail's pace. We'd better escar-Go faster."
Adara purrs, "Oh, don't get started on mathematics. That subject's always been to RUFF for me."
Argon can't FIGURE it out.
Ba'ar can pun, even in BOXER shorts.
Adara purrs, "I can pun well, usually, but it's hard to DIVIDE my time between two other muck screens."
Gilead chirps, "All the activity ADDs up."
Gilead chirps, "It's a pity nobody's made a telnet client that can INTEGRATE two different worlds in a coherent screen."
Ba'ar growled, "Oh mathematics eh? This is where we punsters multiplY our trades."
Gilead chirps, "It'd be easy, really. You just need some color change or text font to DIFFERENTIATE between them."
Adara purrs, "Oh, on an AVERAGE night I'm managing more than one screen, so I should be use to it by now."
Adara purrs, "I'm just always sbusy when I LOG in."
Ba'ar growled, "Don't be MEAN to us Adara. There must be a METHOD to this MODE ness."
Adara purrs, "Can I make it up to you by giving you a piece of PI?"
Adara purrs, "I didn't know it was a SIN to pun a lot."
Gilead chirps, "If you're in the South, it's not a SIN to marry your COSIN."
Ba'ar growled, "I hope this contest doesn't veer off on a TANGENT"
Adara purrs, "Then we'd really feel like SQUAREs"
Argon was never any good at math, it always TAXED him.
Argon says, "I RESISTED it in fact."

With the arrival of Crista, local spidertaur, the follwing was heard;

Crista says, "Oo, trickier this time. I'll be quiet and spectate."
Ba'ar growled, "don't get HYPER(sin) on us Crista. It's not hard."
Gilead would make another Cartesian Bear pun, but their overuse is simply off th e CHART.
Adara purrs, "It's all a TRAPezoid, Crista. We'll pull you into the game somehow."
Ba'ar growled, "You've wandered into our SPHERE of influence and you can't get out."
Gilead chirps, "There's a LIMIT to how long you can sit there without joining in."
Adara purrs, "And none is EQUAL to the task of getting out!"
Ba'ar growled, "Adara, I think you're being IRRATIONAL."
Adara purrs, "On the contrary, I think I'm only expressing a FRACTION of the caution that I should."
Gilead tries to FOCUS on the topic, but can't seem to.
Ba'ar growled, "I think someone has put a HEX on the proceedings."
Adara purrs, "Gee, Ba'ar, what a NEGATIVE way to think of it!"
Gilead realizes he left some extra lights on, and doesn't want his electric bill to rise exponentially.
Ba'ar growled, "Just MET-ric-ing out my judgement is all."
Ba'ar growled, "hey loosen up, quit being sTEN-se"
Adara agrees, "Or we'll have to EIGHT-SIX the game."

Argon had to leave so..

Gilead sighs and nuzzles Argon's EMPTY SET.
Adara purrs, "It's just TWO sad..."
Ba'ar growled, "We have one LESS THAN we need, now."
Adara purrs, "I guess that's FOURtunate."
Gilead curls up in a CIRCLE.
Ba'ar makes GOO-gle eyes at Gilead's pun.
Gilead Just doesn't feel like shouting YAHOO.
Gilead wishes he had a butler, she could ASK JEEVES to get him some water.
Ba'ar growled, "Would rather net-SCAPE from here."
Gilead looks at his paws and thinks he needs to drive a WEBVAN.
Adara . ( Damn, you guys took all the good ones! )
Gilead wishes he knew which way the stock market was going. "Maybe I should consult the ORACLE at DELPHI."
Ba'ar growled, "I think this contest has gone to DELL"
Adara purrs, "Yeah...at this point, who's gonna WINdows?"
Gilead chirps, "Maybe we should just toss it in the COMPAQtor, and be done with it."
Gilead chirps, "What kind of computer does the Devil use? A Hell Inspiron."
Ba'ar grins at adara "LI-NUX into it a bit more"
Gilead chirps, "Put on your RED HAT and dance the night away."
Adara purrs, "Maybe I'm just at my MACx of puns tonight."
Gilead chirps, "Puns are the GATEWAY to good cheer."
Adara purrs, "I suppose they can make you happy, especially if you EXCEL at them"
Ba'ar grins at adara "That just al-TAIRs me to pieces."
Adara sighs, "A-oh-well.
Ba'ar grins at Adara and will be providing the EarthLINK to the next part of the contest.
Adara decides to SPRINT tthat next link.
Ba'ar decides t be a VERIZON to the challenge.
KevMan says, "There's always another Outlook over the Verizon."
KevMan awwws as it was taken.
Ba'ar growled, "Doesn't exactly like euDORA the EXPLOREr."
Gilead chirps, "This is turning into a MOSAIC of silicon valley."
Ba'ar grins at Gilead "We can LYNX it together."
Adara purrs, "It's certainly SILI"
Ba'ar can't take this any MO-zilla.
Ba'ar growled, "Shall we be like King Arthur and call it a KNIGHT?"
*END*

You know you've been MUCKing to long when..........

• You run for mayor just for the ability to change the local currency.
• Friends of yours don't die...they are "toaded".
• You search the telephone listings for a bar named "The Purple Nurple".
• you wonder why building an addition to your house/apartment/etc requires more than 100 pennies.
• You try to build an addition to your house/apartment/etc using simple @dig, @Desc here, and @open statements but to no avail.
• You stroll over to the west corner of your local park expecting to find a friend or two but instead find only lowly HEW-mans.
• You wish you could @create a zombie of yourself that would handle all the "mundane" things that you've got to do (go to work, pay the bills, etc) while the real you parties hardy.
• You're fat and rather plain looking but would give your eyeteeth for the chance to @DESC yourself as lean and handsome (or beautiful) looking.
• You meet someone in real life and insist that you get married on your favorite MUCK.
• You know more about your best friend's online characteristics (likes dislikes etc) than you do his/her real life characteristics.

Is this a neat picture, or what? A guy and a bunch of raccoons.

So what should the caption be? Make one up and either page #mail it to Carl once connected to SpinDizzy, or e-mail your answer with "caption" in the subject line to argon@spindizzy.org.

It doesn't matter what caption you come up with, just send the first thing that pops into your head (Or heads if you're Tottle!).

Thanks!

Argon

Welcome to the latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That'ss me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Dear Bearing Up:
I make horse shoes and a lot of centaurs are coming to me wanting to get shod. Are horseshoes best for centaurs?
- signed: Lucky Horseshoe

Dear Lucky Horseshoe:
Horseshoes will work but for best results you should use 'horselike but not a horse' shoes made by Argon Industries.

Dear Bearing Up:
Is it true that Morticon was the model for the 'Punch the evil kangaroo and win a prize' ads I see on websites?
- Sincerely: Inigo

Dear Inigo:
That's a common rumor but there's no truth to it.

Dear Bearing Up:
I haven't seen Bartergarter lately. Where is she?
- Signed, Trader

Dear Trader:
She's on a mission to find new and exciting items to trade and will be back soon.

Dear Bearing Up:
I find Boki annoying. What do I do?
- Signed Anti-Boki

Dear Anti-Boki:
Boki is your friend! You should not bad mouth Boki like that.

Dear Bearing Up:
I've heard rumors that Mouser may be running for president soon. Is this true?
- Signed George Bush

Dear George Bush:
It's not true.....as of yet.

Dear Bearing Up:
I selected a snack from the Rose Garden Tree and it turned out to be stale. Anything to do about this?
- Hungry

Dear Hungry:
What do you expect for a free treat? 100 percent freshness all the time?

@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, swe figured we'd show just how healthy it is.

Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.

This week, Argon asked,"I'm doing a survey for @Action News. The question this week is, 'Dyou turn your computer off when you aren't using it or dyou leave it running all the time?"

• Morticon [OOC] I leave it on all the time. Current uptime is 16 days.
• Adara's answer is: turn it off.
• Denise rooishly says, "When I'm asleep... my computer is off.. :)"
• Kinsor turns his off, "Simply because the sounds of those little whirring fans would keep me awake at night. :}"
• Slug turns it off.
• Fate distorts, "My computer hasn't been turned off in a few years, Argon."
• Ba'ar notes that his computer is shut off when not in use...it's sold it makes Old Deutrotomy from Cats look like a kitten.
• Jason growlsqueaks, "I don't know how t' ussh a 'puter Mishsta Argon."
• Airborn says, "My mind is electronic therefore it stays on, of course."
• Violet says, "The computer my player uses runs all the time unless Windows does something to make it crash...which is fairly often."
• Annalee drawls, "Mah computer goes into a sleep mode, OSX does not require it be shut down fully every time."
• KevMan turns it off.
• Fala says, "I turn mine off overnight, but leave it on during the day even when I'm out."
• Ping uses multiple computers, most of which are off most of the time, none of which are on all of the time.
• Ba'ar - I turn off my computer when I'm not using it.
• Logan - I kinda have to. I use a desk fan blowing into the open case to keep the system cool, and I use that same fan when I go to bed at night. So if I didn't turn the comp off, I'd wake up to a fragged processor.
• Darius - I turn mine off, out of habit. My old PC used ot overheat very easily.
• Suri - They're all up, all the time, except for maintenance. What a question!
• Royce - I turn mine off. I don't understand why people leave it on when they're not using it, unless it's a server or something. I guess they are just too lazy to press the power button. You wouldn't leave your television or lights on 24 hours a day, would you?
• Ray - I turn my computer off when not in use; I don't want to risk an electrical storm blowing it out, not to mention the (admittedly minimal) waste of power. *Done*

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it tnewspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page @Action or sdnews about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren" t out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported dont have thave actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense tapply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News