April 18, 2004
Volume IV - Issue 196
Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.
Morticon Saves Mouser
Morticon, local evil wallaby, exibited a rarely seen side of himself this week in the Rose Garden.
Mouser, local furpent, was offered a chocolate Easter egg by Ba'ar, local bear. After the usual olfactory inspection of the treat, the serpent ate it. Within seconds, Mouser's partial weasel metabolism went into chocolate shock.
Witnesses attempted to revive him, including Brenda, local 51 foot cougar who considered giving him CPR. However with her size being quite large compared to Mouser's she decided she might do more harm than good.
As the group prepared to call 911, Morticon arrived. Calling upon his minion, Mouser to wake up and do his bidding, the wallaby became concerned when the furpent didn't answer. Sensing something wrong, Morticon seemed genuinly concerned about his second in command. Taking matters into his own paws, Morticon lifted Mouser and attempted the Heimlich manuver. When this failed, Argon, local raccoontaur (at the time) suggested use of a defibrilator he just happened to have.
Asking Morticon to hold Mouser to keep him in place, Argon placed the paddles on Morticon's chest. The wallaby quickly pointed out Argon's error. Argon responded by suggesting Morticon take two steps back so the raccoontaur could place the paddles properly. Taking the two steps back put Morticon in the Rose Garden Fountain. Morticon quickly tried to point out how high voltage and a direct route to ground might cause unexpected side effects but before he could say anything, Argon placed the defibrilator paddles on where he assumed Mouser's chest was. With a shout of, "Clear!", he pressed the button.
Mouser suddenly stretched as straight as a toothpick as all his fur stood on end. Morticon's grip on his right hand furpent didn't loosen, but his fur too stood out as he said, "Wait a sec... I'm touching hi----- AYIEYIEYIEYIYEIYEIYEIYIEYIEYIEYIE!!!!!!"
As Argon removed the paddles, Mouser regained conciousness and blinked a few times, wondering why Morticon was holding him. Morticon, his fur smoking, released the furpent who seemed to have recovered with only a headache as a temporary side effect.
As Argon put the defibrilator away, he thanked Morticon for his help in saving Mouser's life. Morticon noted that, "...I'd hate to lose him, or have him get brain damage, and I need a anti-door-draft thingy."
As of press time, Both Mouser and Morticon have recovered. The moral of this story? Be careful who you give chocolate to.
Firewind Explains Change in Form
Firewind, local fox, was idling in the Rose Garden this week when Findra, local bunny-coati dropped in to visit. Seeing Firewind, she wrapped him around herself like a blanket. After visiting for a while, Findra removed Firewind and went on her way.
Once Firewind un-idled, the fox was asked about his change in form. He told the following story;
"Well, it all started while me and Findra were at the beach enjoying ourselves. She was in an elastic mood, and I was still slightly under the influence of the balloon creator thing. So, she caught me up in her tail, the long ringed one. She squeezed me out into something that resembled a long red and white stick with a tail. After she let me go I started to wrap around her arm. Findra fell asleep shortly afterwards, allowing me to do a little of my magic hoodoo.
"I was going to just turn into something like a normal garment, but I didn't say 'all' of the words right. I more resembled a red, living, stringy, stretchy substance that clung to her arm. It was alright, she thought this new form amusing and so I just made do stretching out a little and covering the rest of her."
Firewind has since returned to normal, and is now more fox than blanket.
Gem Also Explains Change in Form
Gem, local cybernetic peacock, also found himself in possesion of a new form too this week. Due to question from the group in the Rose Garden, he told the following story;
"I'd just gotten to wondering how it would be to be Cellular, in basic. So I grew a chimerical blob of cells, manipulated it, and... well, took control of it." Gem added. "At least I've practiced speech enough to pretty much have that down"
Austin, local coati commented, "I didn't know we had chimerical blobs here."
Gem poked his tongue out. "It's not hard to construct chimerical cells... ^v~ If you've got the right ingredients."
When asked what ingredients were involved in creating chimerical cells, Gem replied, "Chimerical cells? Pretty much, synthetic cellular constructs. Mostly protein... Once you've got a genetic foundation going, simply give the construct a steady strain of nutrients, and it grows just fine. Genetics works everything else out."
Austin nodded ... "And you grew a whole body in short order?"
Gem nodded back! "Radioactively, of course... It took a while to minimize, and eventually nullify the risk of cancerous outbreaks among overgrowing cells, but..." He shrugged. "It still took a good while."
Chanspot hopped atop the rim of the fountain to get a better look at the peacock, "Wh'y' do in the meantime, 'en? Et must b' pretty difficult t' live w'out a body, I'd 'magine. "Uhr...perhaps ah be 'avin et wrong? 'aven't 'ad m' daily caffiene IV, y'know, so ther's not t' much blood runnin' abouts up ther'."
Gem chirped at Chanspot. "Without a body? I've had a body. Simply not a Cellular one..." He snickers. "I'm originally cybernetic."
Austin asked. "How'd you take control of the new form?" Gem looked back to Austin. "And I took control basically through an implant. As I'd proven to some people back at my module, I'm capable of uploading myself into a computer, just fine... This brain is, by and large, completely unimprinted, and entirely under the conscious control of my former-CPU processes. I'd just figured I would experiment..." He then attempted to sit down, completely miscalculating the correct muscle movements necessary for that, and ended up flopping over onto his stomach instead.
In the meantime, Chanspot sat back, and let this new information go through its sluggish self, and gradually, gradually, a look of confusion made it onto its face, and then comprehension. Well, mostly. Chanspot, slightly disgusted at itself, hooks up one of the aforesaid IVs, so it may begin to wake up.
Gem righted himself and said, "I know what I should be doing, but this brain is substantially slower than a CPU, and I'm not used to figuring out what to use to do what. In a CPU, I could just call up an actuator lookup, but 'Instinctual movement' isn't something I'm very familiar with."
When asked if Gem found any surprises fitting into the new body the peacock shook his head, "It was based off of my DNA-Core information, stuffed into a Cellular context. It's basically the Cellular equivalent of my previous Replicant body."
When asked though, if the cellular body felt exactly as he expected, Gem replied, "Actually? No. Everyone I'd talked to seems to think that being a Replicant would in some way, compared to themselves, impair my senses... Come to find out, I now have a practically nonexistent hearing range, I'm only capable of visualizing colors from red to violet, and I'm getting a heck of a lot of internal input to make up for the lack of external input... Very confusing."
Austin nodded saying, "I don't mean to be nosey; I've just never grown a new body, so I'm curious about the process."
Gem snickered. "It's alright..." He rolled over onto his back, through some miraculous burst of coordination. "I don't mind conversation at all."
When it was noted that he seemed to be getting used to his new form, Gem nodded,""Definitely. I'd been in my module for the longest time, determined to at least learn how to speak correctly. Otherwise, this could have been even more emberassing." Austin replied,"Oh, I don't think you need be embarassed. We're a forgiving bunch. I don't think we've ever been too harsh on somebody learning a new body."
Gem chirped. "Still, it's a bit emberassing not to be capable of talking, much less standing up without wobbling." Austin nodded in sympathy, "Hey, tell me about it ... you know how long elasticity took to get accustomed to?"
Gem snickered, "That sounds even more complicated than going from actuators to muscles! At least, those two act more or less similarly!"
As of press time, Gem had adapted fairly well, although some situation were still causing trouble. For instance, he still can't ride a unicycle on a tightrope over a pool filled with sharks and crocodiles while juggling three flaming torches and a running chainsaw while reciting the Greek alphabet backwards.
And Speaking of Changes in Form
The Shiny State of Mind:
So, you’ve just become shiny. What does this all mean to your lifestyle? More importantly, what does it imply for *fashion*?
Three words: Polish, polish, and polish. Oh, and another two; Raccoon repellant.
But seriously, being shiny isn’t easy, unless you’ve a transparent, no-stick surface, but ‘purists’ prefer a pure surface, hence their title. Polishing can be a nice way to relax, rather like a hot shower, and if you’ve a ‘significant other’, the enjoyment can be manyfold.
But what sorts of material are there to be shiny? The list is surprisingly extensive, ranging from minerals such as quartz, hematite, and a ‘girl’s best friend’, diamond, to the synthetic, such as plastics, polymers, resins and alloys, to the related such as the pure metallic elements, such as nickel, silver, gold, platinum and so forth.
Once you’ve chosen a material, the proper polishing method for the material may be selected. One would not want to use a polishing medium for one specific material on one that it’s not used for, especially if it might be corrosive or damaging to the surface, which would leave one ‘un-shiny’. Unacceptable. So if metal is chosen, for goodness sake, use a metal polish! Likewise goes for glass or other materials, use the proper cleaner / polisher!
For the polishing cloth, I generally use two different sorts, one for the polishing medium (generally it’s a fluid or a paste) and then one for the final buffing. This way, one type of cloth can remain clear of medium and be used solely for the final polishing and if need be, for ‘touching up’ when a full polishing is not required after the day’s events.
Next week, how to keep from being abducted by marauding procyonids.
Ricky, local sea lion pup, and Lilahfae, local fae, were sitting on the beach east of the Rose Garden discussing abalone shells and Lilah's wings when Ricky mentioned fish that glowed in the depths of the local ocean. The young sea lion seemed to be unsure if they might be jellyfish or not, and Lilaefae, sweettooth always alert, asked if the jellyfish were really made of jelly.
Butterfluff, local adult sea lion, and Millicent, local SCUBA-diving skunk, agreed to accompany the two smaller persons on a deep-sea expedition. A diving bell was made for Lilahfae from a large glass jar, with air supplied with bubbles from Millicent's SCUBA gear.
Millicent consulted her F-PADI book, choosing the cards for "Skunk" and "Fairie" to determine decompression times for herself and Lilahfae. Then the party headed out for an ocean adventure.
Swimming out to the middle of the lagoon, the party dived. Butterfluff was looking for a fish that glowed, when suddenly Seawolf appeared from the depths! Wild gestures got Millicent and Ricky's attentions, while Butterfluff moved into a defensive position. Lilahfae, finding herself the only one in the party who could actually talk underwater, asked if Seawolf was one of the glowy fish. Butterfluff shook hir head no, then signaled to Millicent, asking how much time they still had underwater. Millicent signalled that there was plenty of time yet.
Keeping a watch on Seawolf, the divers eventually found a fish that glowed with bioluminescence. Seawolf noticed this item that interested the swimmers and moved in on them. Butterfluff grabbed the glowy fish and shoved it toward Seawolf while Millicent carried Lilahfae's jar and led Ricky toward the surface, and from there to the shore.
Seawolf ate the deepwater fish, then followed the party at a leisurely pace. When he arrived at the beach, everyone else was safely on shore. As a parting gift, Butterfluff tossed him a puffer fish, which he ignored.
Guest Visits Briefly, Finds SpinDizzy Isn't What He Was Looking For
A visit from a Guest last week reminded residents of one of the things that makes SpinDizzy special.
After being welcomed and the oligatory sniffsniffing by Mouser, and a number of "look Guest1" commands (revealing the Guest to have the new Otter Aquarium form, the Guest asked, "I have one question right off the top of my head. Can anyone tell me what kind of rp goes on here?" Terry, local technicolor pangolin answered, "Probably, but not me, unless you mean *right here* in the park, in which case it's mostly casual stuff."
Koroshi answered, "There are some organized Rps here, if thats what you are looking for. It varies on exactly what people are running. If you are looking for a them or muck wide Rp...well,."
Tanuki answered, "For me, it's usually spontaneous."
The Guest then asked Argon since, as the Guest noted, his name is on the website..
Argon noted, "If you enter RPC, it'll take you to Role Play Central. There's info on some of the RP's posted on the bulletin board there."
Warusa noted, "Lighthearted..the toonier the better. My player thinks of this as "An adult Toon town". Not that there's any sex here but it's a place where adults can come here and cut loose on their rp."
Guest1 ahs and nods. "So no sex?"
Warusa shook his head, "No."
Phoex said, "Not in the public places at least"
Terry chittered, "Um... no sex RIGHT HERE in the park. Sex elsewhere."
The Guest responded, "Pity," and then was glommed down and swept away by a plastic hippopotamus mouth. The Guest left, and somewhere on the muck, Guest1 had disconnected.
This brought to mind what makes SpinDizzy different from Tapestries, Unbridled Desires, Socio-Political Repercusions, or even, in some cases. Furry Muck. Some discussion was engaged in concerning these muck and the place of such activities as the Guest was looking for. It was generally agreed that although such "activities" have their place, having them happen in private and discretely, if at all, is one of the things that makes SpinDizzy the special place that it is.
Ba'ar at Bear Convention
Ba'ar, local bear, was out of town for the Easter weekend on vacation to California to attend Ursine American Day, a celebration of bear culture that includes speeches, games and a live concert by Salmon Run, a local country-rock outfit. Ba'ar was asked to speak at the event and what follows is a summary of his speech.
"We bears are proud creatures with a long and noble history. Recently however our proud culture has been under attack from elements from popular media culture such as Yogi Bear and the web comic The Grizzwells portraying us as sloppy, lazy, garbage pail raiding miscreants. This has to cease. My fellow ursines, the time has come to recapture the nobleness we once knew. Keep your cubs away from such dross to prevent them from being influenced by such dross. Also write to your local TV and Newspaper outlets telling them how outraged you are at such portrayals and that you demand that such portrayals cease immediately. Thank you for listening."
Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That" s me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.
Dear Bearing Up
Dear Princess Leia:
Dear Bearing Up:
Dear Bearing Up:
Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions,please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks.
Newspaper Circulation Report
@Action News, SpinDizzy's weekly paper, apparently has a fairly healthy circulation, so we figured we'd show just how healthy it is.
Each week, as long as there's room. I'll show the 'hit graph' for the @Action News website.
I wonder what happened on Thursday that brought so many hits to the webspace?
This week, Argon asked, "I'm doing a survey for @Action News, this week's question, suggested by Firewind is, "If Spindizzy were real and you only had the chance to go there now, or never go at all, would you take it?" "
The Doze Garden
What Beltrami, local balloonie dragon does with all the pencils, pens and notepads she borrows is, at last, answered.
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Proofreading by Butterfluff
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