Please don't forget to read the bulletin board. Enter +read from anywhere.

"With cheap Gundam, Pokemon, and other cheap actors, and the fact that no one seems to notice whether the cartoons have real 'toons or cheap replacements, it isn't cost effective to run a studio. Especially when the audiences today can't tell the difference," Stainton was rumored to have said.

Although work is still available for the more famous 'toon actors, most are having to perform at shopping center openings and state fairs. Snagglepuss seemed to take it in stride, "It's easy work, and I haven't had an anvil or steam roller hit me in years. I just introduce some has-been band, like the Righteous Brother or the remnants of the Bob Seegar band, and I get my $500 and I exit, stage left."

Austin, local coati and animation lover said, "'It's hard to believe that the Disney which brought us 'Pocahontas 2: Voyage to a New World,' 'Belle's Magical World,' and 'Return to Neverland' could approach animation with such cynical disdain and a lack of understanding. We can only hope they know what they're doing, as they commit themselves to the path of wild successes like 'Dinosaur.'"

There is some good news from the closing of the Disney animation department though. The energy problems of the western states have been solved by connecting a generator to Walt Disney's body as it spins in its grave. The power helps keep the compressor keeping the liquid nitrogen his head is in cool, allowing him to continue to enjoy 'head in a jar' fan fiction on line.

Gilead. local otter. said he wants to sneak into Michael Eisner, President of the Walt Disney Company's, bedroom and bite...er, no, whisper into his ear that he should do Joan of Arc with anthro foxes.

Spindizzy recently suffered an invasion of turkeys. It seems that they were refugees from a turkey farm and were determined to not wind up on anyone's dining room table for Thanksgiving!

In an interview with the leader, a certain Thomas Q. Turkey was quoted as saying. "It should have been obvious what they were going to do to us when we were segregated from the rest of the turkeys and fed lots of fattening foods. When we did find out, we made immediate plans to escape. So here we are." Mr. Turkey is also quoted as saying that he and his group will spend the holidays in Spindizzy and then head for the hills where they will be safe from anyone's dinner table.

Well, here are the results of last week's caption contest. Folks were asked to come up with a caption for the picture to the right.

Here's what we got....

SUGGESTED CAPTIONS:

• Slug -- Nerd with notebook: "... and my latest invention can monitor the location of every known bully and jock in the neighborhood."
  Nerd with afro: "Great, but how do we carry it with us?"
  Other nerd: "We'll just need to wait a few years until computers get small enough to fit in our pockets."
  Nerd with afro: "Dang, yo!"
• Rown -- It's a toaster not a VCR. It doesn't have to be programmed!"
• Butterfluff -- "Uh, guys, why is this set on 'blend'? "
• Argon -- "No Bill, adjust it so it'll crash every 20 minutes, then we can sell them 'patches' that they think will fix it!"
• Findra -- "Using this machine, I can steal all the curls from your hair!"
  (And) "You put the cat in the bottom drawer, adjust for the length of fur, and then turn it on. A rinse cycle of 10 minutes usually does the trick."
• Austin -- Here at the RAND corporation, we're working hard to figure out what's the deal, anyway.
  (And) Space: 1959.
• Nimble -- "To start, press any key. Where is that any key?"

Adara takes out a notepad and a pencil, "Hmm, OK, we'll start with the basics, first, your description:

PatchO'Black (Patchy) appears to be at first glance a panther morph. Looking closer, you see that this is not the case! His ears, though round for the most part, have a small point at the tops. He is, in fact, a Jellicle cat, a rare and magical feline. His body is lean and fit, reminding you of a dancer or gymnist with his flowing lines. He has snow white fur, with a white mane flowing down to bit below and around his shoulders. His eyes are a light blue and his tail is curled slightly at the end to keep it form draging on the ground. He wears a brown sports-type vest with several pockets on it. A patch reading "The Lion King" is sewn on the right chest area. On the back is a picture of Simba as an adult. Under that he wears a casual yellow knit shirt with a turned-down collar. He also has on a pair of tan slacks. He wears no shoes, as his paws have pads that protect him well enough. As he moves, you sense a grace about him. He runs a hand through his hair and smiles.

Adara purrs,"Now, tell the readers your full name, occupation, et cetera."

PatchO'Black mews, "Well, my name is Patch O'Black, my current occupation is Jellicle cat. =^_^="

Adara purrs, "A jellicle cat...what *is* Jellicle?"

PatchO'Black mews, "I am, of course."

PatchO'Black mews, "Okay, seriously, a Jellicle cat, at least in my case, is a rare magical feline that is the embodiment of all kinds of cats, wild or domestic."

Adara purrs, "What do jellicle cats do, exactly...and in particular, what do you do as a jellicle cat?"

PatchO'Black mews, "Well, we are best known for singing and dancing. I also grow a variety of items here (The Jellicle Fields), most notably a wide selection of treats. Lastly, I maintain the Crystal Beacon Tower here."

Adara nods, "I've heard that singing and dancing is necessary for maintaining Jellicle levels in the area. I have also heard that those levels are at an all-time high in the Rose Garden. Congradulations.

PatchO'Black mews, "Thank you. I try."

Adara purrs, "You also say that you grow things. What exactly do you grow?"

PatchO'Black mews, "Most famous are my marshmellows. I then branched out into Toot Sweets. Now, I also grow candy apples, cotton candy, lollipopcorn, caramel apples, candy corn, and other sweets."

Adara makes some notes, then looks up, "Do consuming these items increase a person's 'inner jellicle-ness'?

PatchO'Black mews, "Well, I hope so. Of course, one must have some sense of Jellicle-ness to begin with."

Adara looks with interest, "Really? So...some Jellicle-ness besides having been around Jellicle cats and eating their food? Are you born with Jellicle-ness, or is it something you can learn?

PatchO'Black mews, "Both, actually."

Adara purrs, "How did you get your jellicle-ness?"

PatchO'Black mews, "I was born a Jellicle cat."

Adara purrs, "Ahh. How do you know if you're born with it?""

PatchO'Black mews, "It's not something I can really define."

Adara makes more notes, "And, for a final question on Jellicle-ness, how can one learn it, if one is interested?"

PatchO'Black mews, "It sort of like art. You know good art when you see it or hear it."

PatchO'Black mews, "You should consult your local Jellicle cat. They can help you!"

Adara smiles and flips over another notebook page, "Now for some Spindizzy related questions. When and how did you first come to Spindizzy?"

PatchO'Black mews, "I first arrived about 4 years ago. I was...well, I'm in exile. It's kind of a long story."

Adara purrs, "Do you have a short version you'd like to give, or is this something the readers will have to ask you about personally?"

PatchO'Black mews, "I think they should ask me personally. Sort of need the whole story so as not to get the wrong idea."

Adara nods and continues, "What person on Spindizzy do you respect or look up to the most, and why?"

PatchO'Black mews, "I respect Austin and Argon. I look up to Cye, but just about everyone here looks up to her."

Adara giggles, "Myself included. What about Nikon? I assume you must respect her, being that she's your mate."

PatchO'Black mews, "I love her, which is beyond respect."

Adara smiles, "That's so sweet =) Finally, what is your favorite place in Spindizzy, and why?

PatchO'Black mews, "My favorite place is the Rose Garden, as that is where most of my friends usually are."

Adara finishes her notes and smiles, "Well, thanks for taking the time to do an interview with me! I enjoyed it, and learned a lot."

PatchO'Black mews, "You're welcome! Here, have a Toot Sweet."

Adara takes a sweet, "Thanks!"

Some people like to have long, detailed descriptions included with their character…
often much longer than my attention span permits me to sit through… not to mention the fact that a long description can interrupt a conversation that I am having with somebody! For these characters I suggest a similar technique to the one I used with Hefon…

Step One- Basic description

Create a basic description for your character that is not much more than a paragraph long.

Step Two- An Object

Create an object (use editobject command) and add a more detailed description to that object. In the case of my character Hefon, this object was called “City” and contained a more detailed description of the Lilliputian civilization on Hefon’s back. For your character, this object could be something else such as a Journal or perhaps something more creative.

Step Three- The Connection

Add to your description an invitation to whoever looked at you to look at you (your object) more closely… for example, “type ‘lookat Hefon’s City’ to take a closer look at the civilization dwelling on his back.”

With this technique, you can have the best of both worlds. A short description that will not interrupt conversation or drive people away, and a more detailed description to add some flavor to your character.

Welcome to latest edition of Bearing up, the advice column where Ba'ar (That's me!) has answers to your most challenging questions.

Why can't I use Findra's ears as a TV antenna?
Signed Bunny Ears.

Dear Bunny Ears:
Because hers are not the bunny ears you need to improve your TV reception.

Dear Bearing Up,
Is it true that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?
L. Viss

Dear L. Viss,
Not if the tabloids get wind of it.

Dear Bearing Up, Should I buy a Sony Viao, or a Dell Presairio?
Signed, Mac

Dear Mac:
Neither. Buy a Cray X-MP. That should give you all the power you need for the next 10 or so years.

Dear Bearing Up,
I heard there was a beehive over at the oak tree at Boo Boo's place. Since Boo Boo is off in Hollywood filming his action/adventure/detective movie would it be wrong for me to eat the honey?
From, Yogi Bear

Dear Yogi Bear:
Stay away from the honey, as it is still Boo Boo's.

Dear Bearing Up,
Are the Pringles' cans getting bigger or are the chips getting smaller?
Signed Cheeto Lay

Dear Cheeto Lay.
Actually the chips are getting smaller. It's part of a conspiracy to make you think you're getting the same amount of chips for the same amount of money when the truth you're getting less and less for your money

Remember possums (to steal a term from Dame Edna ;-D), if you have any questions, please page mail me (Ba'ar) online or send mail to big_bear@operamail.com. Thanks.

Every other week, I will be calling attention to the new members of our community. (Editor's Note; ...with the permission of each of the new folks featured, of course. Folks who don't want to be featured in this series, will of course, have that wish fufilled.) This is not to embarrass them, but rather I do it in the hopes that it will encourage everyone to give them a special welcome and friendship.

The following members are new to our community as of a week or two ago at most. Please give them a warm welcome and offer assistance if needed. Who knows, you might even make a new friend or two!

• Delcan - Male Technopulsar.
• Sofia - artistic cuddly cute helpful literate lonely toon snuggly youthful chubby female skunkette.
• Border - cuddly curious cute helpless innocent youthful female Tonkinese feline.
• KeithBear - male bear - "It's nice to be here and thanks to all for their warm welcomes."

This week Argon asked, "When you have Thanksgiving dinner, whatis your favorite part of the turkey?"

• Rown says, "The drumstick Argon!"
• Morticon responds, "The eyes. I use them to make eyeball pie."
• Rick says, "The stuffing I love stuffing. Yummy! :-)"
• Tarka says, "Argon: Breasts... I got to say the breasts."
• Butterfluff -- "Drumstick or thigh."
• Wind-Dancer -- "The white meat, of course. :)"
• Baradhuli quite likes the edible parts. The unedible parts he tends to leave alone.
• KevMan -- "The breast meat."
• Cye -- "I like the stuffing of the turkey."
• Terra mmms. "The breast." she swishes her tail. "I like nice, juicy white meat."
• "The meat," barks Tanuki.
• Slug clicks, "Not the dark part. Nobody likes the dark part."
• Parco says, "Seeing as I usually get my Thanksgiving dinner at Burger King, I can't really give you an answer."
• GrumpyBear grumbles, "The part that's on my plate."
• Vesper -- "The dark meat"
• Silverayne softly speaks, "The wings! Let me fly too for a change..."
• Austin says, "The meat."

Is a weak ape a Chim-Pansy?
Or a Wimpanzee?

Is a gullible ape a Chumpanzee?

Is a victorious ape a Champanzee?

Is an ape who does all his own movie stunts a Jackie Chanpanzee?

Why did the wallaby avoid the dentist?
He knew he needed a 'roo-t canal.

When a wallaby chews the cud, is she 'roo-minating?

How does an otter lower his workload and improve his catch?
He hires a fish-in-sea expert.

What do you call the body of a skunk with a human torso in place of the neck?
A Scent-taur.

What about a four-legged devil with a human torso?
A Sin-taur.

What do you get when Rupert Murdoch takes up Marxism?
A red FOX.

What happens when a feline lies in the sun?
She gets a kit-tan.

What do you call a red panda with a pouch?
A wah-llaby.

Is a lagomorph who tells jokes like these a punny rabbit?

Why did the Pigs name their football team the Truffles?
So they could enjoy rooting for them.

What does a bearcat say upon seeing a dear old friend for the first time in years?
It's binturong since we rast tarked!

How does a Grizzly sow feed her infant young?
With her bear breasts.

Why do white bears hate Renee Descartes?
They're Polar bears.

Is a female shorebird a sea gal?

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Monday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News