Squirrels "Not Up To Anything"

In a series of statements to Spindizzy this week the squirrel community reported it was "Not up to anything," and that everyone should just, "Stay where you are and act perfectly normal."

Nimble lead the pack on Tuesday with a morning page to all then-connected that everything was "...exactly as you would think," and denying the existence of any far-reaching conspiracy. Jiffy and Steve reinforced Nimble's comments on Thursday, nodding and standing with their paws behind their backs while their tails twitched eagerly as they explained there had clearly been no collusion on their parts. "You don't need to wonder, either, about the lifting capacity of the SED's former blimp," added Steve. Jiffy pointed out that the shortage of mechanical digging equipment in Spindizzy hardware stores was not unusual and was not anything they were responsible for.

Asked Wednesday if there were anything we should know about, Waydya told a reporter for @Action News, "No! Why? What have you heard?" before chittering loudly and running up a tree, crying something about the soccer nets and a supply of rubber bands. She has not been seen since that comment. And Saturday morning Spindle and Dustin visited the Rose Garden to remind us all that, "...it's a perfectly ordinary week," and that "You'd never suspect anything was up with those new floating islands in the sky, even if it were." Spin then asked Dizzy if that should be 'anything were up,' leading into a discussion about the subjunctive case, which no one understands. They agreed there was no need for anyone to wear safety helmets before next Thursday.

After connecting Friday, CJ mentioned to one and all that he was "...looking forward to the next few days," even though there was nothing special about them, although he was looking forward to the treetop beach and rec center. Nimble concurred, adding, "The dry ice stocks and the tack-um sticky putty in Care-A-Lot just happened to be there anyway."

The SpinDizzy Who's Who an invaluble reference for seeing who and what the folks on SpinDizzy are like, has had it's HTML code revised and made W3Ccompatable. Boki, local Seagull, gets the credit for writing the code to make the page viewable on any and all Internet Browsers which comply with the standards of the The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C). Which develops interoperable technologies (specifications, guidelines, software, and tools) to lead the Web to its full potential. W3C is a forum for information, commerce, communication, and collective understanding.

Although Argon, local Centaur and manager of the site, had hoped to rebuild the page in WC3 compatable HTML, he finally gave in and just slapped it together in Front Page. Boki took this mess and fixed it up to look good, and operate well.

Although several Bulletin Board posts, and articles in this publication have asked those who have missed sending pictures in to accompany their posted information. Not everyone has responded. If there is a blank spot next to your entry in on the Whos's Who page, please send a picture to Argon. Or, if you'd wish to be included, and haven't been, send your information and picture to Argon. Thanks!

Oh, the picture to the left is Carlos' interpretation of what I would look like at about 10 - 12 years old. As you can tell by the big hooves, I'm going to grow up to be quite large. Thanks to Carlos for the cool picture!

Every other week, I will be calling attention to the new members of our community. (Editor's Note; ...with the permission of each of the new folks featured, of course. Folks who don't want to be featured in this series, will of course, have that wish fufilled.) This is not to embarrass them, but rather I do it in the hopes that it will encourage everyone to give them a special welcome and friendship.

The following members are new to our community as of a week or two ago at most. Please give them a warm welcome and offer assistance if needed. Who knows, you might even make a new friend or two!

• Kepler - male Skunk
• Sammeh - male Llama - "A bit shy, but bring cheese near, and stand back, he can be voracious!"
• Pandamonia - male Ailuropoda melanoleuca
• Elericia
• Snow - male humanoid Grey Squirrel - "A role-player looking for adventures"

Although Gilead didn't have anything to do with me seeing these jokes; I got them in an e-mail at work, they reminded me of the kind of jokes he would tell so I thought I would put them in the paper and while I was writing this introduction to the aforementioned jokes, I figured I would just keep writing until I made a sentence long enough to fill up the space next to the picture of an Otter I would find because if I'm going to suggest that Gilead would tell these jokes, then I ought to have a picture of an Otter next to the jokes because Gilead is an Otter and, like most Otters I have met, enjoy playing and telling jokes, and since this is a list of jokes, and Otters like jokes, and since Gilead is an Otter, I put up a picture of Gilead, which I got, by the way, off the Who's Who page which I mentioned earlier in this issue of @Action News which, in addition to this article about a bunch of jokes I thought an Otter would tell, is an article about local SpinDizzy Squirrels who are up to, apparently, nothing, Boki, local Gull, who was kind enough to make the aforementioned Who's Who page World Wide Web Consortium compatable, the weekly survey which was done this week by Fenris, and a cartoon, along with the picture of a young Argon by Carlos as seen below and the weekly Dose Garden Cartoon which I thought of while watching The Price Is Right, the idea of Bob Barker being a 'Furry' and adapting his famous catch phrase struck me as funny but whether you think it's funny or not will only be known after you read it, but at least now you know where the cartoon's idea came from, as long as you watch The Price Is Right, but enough chatter, I think I've filled up the space, so here are the jokes:

• 1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
  Unique Up On It.
• 2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
  Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
• 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
  They Take The Psycho Path.
• 4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
  You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
• 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
  Dam!
• 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
  Polaroids.
• 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
  A Stick.
• 8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
  Nacho Cheese.
• 9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
  Subordinate Clauses.
• 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
  Quatro Sinko.
• 11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
  Spoiled Milk.
• 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
  Frostbite.
• 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
  A Nervous Wreck.
• 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
  Anyone Can Roast Beef.
• 15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
  Right Where You Left Him.
• 16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
  Because They Have Big Fingers.
• 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
  Because It Scares The Dog.
• 18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
  Sanka.
• 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
  The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
• 20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
  Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
• 21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer, And a Bad Skydiver?
  A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, "Damn" !
  A Bad Skydiver Goes "Damn" ! Whack.
• 22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
  Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

The survey this week was done by Fenris who asked, " If you woke up one morning and you had changed into your spindizzy character in RL, what would be your FIRST response?"

• Adara says My response would definitely be "What the #$@^?!", then "Oooooh, where's the Rose Garden? Screw Class!"
• Ba'ar says I think if I woke up one morning and found myself as Ba'ar my first reaction would be......"WOW!"
• Kanganstein says "My God!" since I am quite different, even by furry standards.
• Pandamonia says I'd probably do my normal routine, get the mail, chase the neighbor kids, eat bamboo, You know normal stuff.
• Butterfluff says I would try to wake up. Not because I wanted to mind you. ;)
• Wind-Dancer says Probably a loud "EEP!"
• Brittany says Probably shock, then figuring out how I'm going to explain it to my workplace.
• Kevman says Scream in Happiness!
• Brenda would certainly freak out initially, =o.o=
• Gilead wouldn't mind hanging out around a sweet giant vixen in RL.
• Cye says Me? I think I would very much freak out....Probably faint.
• Argon would do as described here.
• Fenris would pinch himself to see if he was still dreamshifting. ^u^

"And remember to help control the pet population. Have your Human spayed or neutered!"

Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org or qmail or page Argon about it.
@Action News is published weekly on or after 12:01 AM Eastern Time on Sunday. Most any type of story or article will be accepted. Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (any more than anything that happens here does) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have. These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.

Thanks! Argon, Editor @Action News