@Action News, September 17,2K

Four More Announce Candidacy For SpinDizzy Election

Four other SpinDizzy citizens have joined Natasha, and Morticon, in announcing their intention to run for office in the upcoming SpinDizzy election. Maxl local Badger, Royce, local Raccoon, Pidge, local Pigeon and Balloonatic, local Orange Balloon Augustine Clown Lion , all revealed their hopes this week in the Rose Garden to be elected .

Royce announced his candidacy by saying, "Vote for me, and I'll make every day Raccoon Day!"

PatchO'Black. local Jellicle Cat asked, "What about Jellicle Cat day?"

Royce chirred in reply, "Uh, yeah! That too!" Royce continued by saying, " I mean, if I get elected into a government position, wouldn't I be required to accomplish stuff or something? If I was elected, I'd sit around and talk a lot, without ever actually doing anything useful. Are you allowed to do that in a high-ranking government position? I think not." Argon local Cemtaur observed, "Heh, sounds like you've held public office before, Royce." After being assured that actually accomplishing something wasn't expected of Politicians, Royce chirred, "Vote for me. I won't do anything! Vote for a raccoon on Raccoon Day!"

Royce then churred, "Vote for me, or else! Yeah. If you don't' vote for me, I'll make a non-raccoon tax, that all non-raccoons have to pay."

Locke, local Human asked, "And what if I refuse to pay this tax?" Royce answered, "Then by law, I automatically get your vote." When Locke expressed doubt as to the legality of this maneuver Royce stated, "Fine. It's just one vote. I'll just vote for myself twice to make up for it." Royce concluded by saying, "Read my lips! No new faxes!"

Pidge spoke at length revealing little. "I'll be over that Wallaby like grape juice on a t shirt", he announced, apparently speaking of rival candidate Morticon, local Wallaby. Pidge continued his speach apparently courting the Balloonie vote. In response to a request of clarification of the benefit of his election to the Balloonie community, "Balloons, Coons, and Toons... lend me your ears. Today we fight the fight the pins that spoils your rubbery complex and deprives you of you gasses. The scum on your shinies that render them unshiny. The evil that hates what you enjoy. Its time to stand up and fight the hatred against the enjoyment of all living being. Its time to fight the SED to accomplish stuff or something too! "

He continued, "I'm all about protecting rubber beings like you from harmful things. Vote for the pigeon," Pidge said, "And maintain piece and stability for the unstable.

Pidge's speech was interrupted as a rival candidate broke through security and approached the podium displaying what appeared to be fuzzy photographs of the electoral hopeful in what could be only described as a compromising position with a spork . With a blush, Pidge then shocked the crowd by announcing, "I hereby forfeit the election, due to the fact that it won't have any dramatic change on my fight against disorganized crime!" Offering his support and endorsement to Balloonatic.

Maxl and Balloonatic gave speeches, which are condensed in the press releases their respective campaign staffs have provided @Action News and are reproduced below.

Maxl To Run For SpinDizzy election! Nobody Cares!

Maxl to enter SpinDizzy election! Considered 'possibly better than the other guys'!

Contributed To @Action News By Maxl's Campaign Staff Of Rotting Zombie Corpses

Despite the fact that he's probably the most apathetic person alive on the face of SpinDizzy, Maxl has announced that he's going to run in the local election. Nobody really cared, but already he's come up with a keen platform to brainwash you through the clever use of media, shinies, and candy. Running under the slogan 'Vote apathy. Vote Maxl.', Maxl has promised that he will actually try and start being interesting again if elected. Other campaign promises include:

* Free candy, shinies, and television so he can control your mind better.

* All citizens immediately become effective members of the Cult of the

Black Toaster, a completely defunct organization that currently consists

only of Maxl and his extensive MAD Magazine collection.

* Raccoon Day every day, and Jellicle Cat Day every other day, with the

option to give your species a special day if you whine enough.

* He will hit Argon upside the head once for every reference to how a

centaur is not a horse.

* He will always remain honest to the public, except when he can make more

money by lying to you.

* He will suddenly become evil and try and kill you. Yes, you.

Maxl is considered a better alternative to Morticon by famed local not-a-horse Argon. You should vote for him because we always do what Argon says. Maxl has absolutely no comment on how he's better than any other candidates, and in fact, you should probably vote for them.

DISCLAIMER: Campaign promises are not valid and are only intended to get you to vote for somebody other than Maxl, so he can make fun of you for paying attention to something this silly.

DISCLAIMER FOR THE DISCLAIMER: Maxl really will have to attempt being interesting again if you elect him. He might try it anyway, just to

confuse you.

Bucky the Lucky Badger

Election: What A Clown Nose Best *squeek*

Contributed To @Action News By The Balloonatic Campaign Staff

Hey!! *honk honk*. You I haven't felt what its like to run in a long time since I usually float. But people were saying I should run for election, whatever that is. But I'm running, I haven't gotten anywhere yet, but I'm having fun *bouncy squeak giggle*. Someone said I should say I want if I win this race (I don't know if I can, me feet only so often touch the ground). However, its my dream to have a happy Spindizzy where you can be silly, toony, balloonie, and anything else you want to be. I'm am scared thought, because of these Ninja who want to do nothing but pop Balloons like me and the few other and people who want to ruin the presses to do unhappy things. People should be able to smile, stretch, bounce, roll, expand, and above all, be happy. I may just be a happy, slap-stick energetic Balloon Clown Lion. But I feel everyone should share the happiness all round with smores, shinies, latex, gasses, and lots of balloons and sugar. Vote for Me, the Clown Lion and be happy. *squeak*

So, Just Who IS Running?

As of the time this issue of @Action News was going to press, it was understood that Morticon, Maxl, Balloonatic, Royce and Natasha were still hoping to win the election. Pidge has dropped out of the race. Skyler's candidacy was apparently a result of the editor's imagination.

Flutterz, Nimble Report Progress In Pylon Mystery

Dread pirate Flutterz and Care Bear Cousin Nimble this week made progress in deciphering the mysterious pylons which have appeared around Spindizzy. Working as a team they found themselves able reliably to step into the pylon located in Care-A-Lot, and out of the pylon located in Charter Park.

The role of the pylons located in Centaur Square, the Rose Garden and other locations has not been established, nor has the purpose of the clocklike levers contained inside. Flutterz and Nimble remain determined to research the objects and are optimistic they will learn more of their origin and purpose.

How The Squirrells Came To SpinDizzy

Contributed To @Action News By Tiresta

Several furs have wondered how it is the Squirrelles have come to be on Spindizzy, so I've decided to write a story as to how it came to be. It all started in the early 90s, the exact date has been lost in the mists of time. It was on a show called Sesame Street, and it was decided something new was needed to keep the show fresh. The squirrels tried out for the show, they had been singing together for many years, but were still waiting their big break. Their names were Rhonda, the oldest of the three, and the lead singer. There was also Darlene, the second oldest, and Tiresta, the youngest, who were the backup singers. They auditioned, and were hired on the spot, the combination of their great singing and the swishing of their tails to the music impressed the powers that be at Sesame Street, and they were offered a contract on the spot.

This seemed to be the break they were waiting for, and all seemed well for a time. They recorded several videos for the show, including such songs as Big Bird Doesn't Fly, My Boyfriend's Back and Front, and Nuts About Nuts. All seemed well, but they didn't realize one resented their sudden success. That one was Elmo, who was enjoying a huge rise in popularity at the time, and resented anyone taking the spotlight from him. He was just waiting for a chance to find a way to get them fired, and finally found a chance in mid 1993.

The Squirrelles had just finished another successful video, and were invited to a little party to celebrate. They were offered some butter pecan ice cream, and being squirrels, ate all the nuts out of it. They didn't know the ice cream belonged to Elmo, and when he found out about it, went into a rage. He went right to the top, accusing the Squirrelles of stealing his ice cream. Being as he was the hottest thing going on the show, the studio CEO fired the Squirrelles.

This was a blow to them, and they decided to part ways. Rhonda found work doing background work for other singers, as well as nightclub singing. Darlene settled into a home and even married, and Tiresta basically went into seclusion, and nobody heard from her for several

years.

Finally in 1998, Tiresta resurfaced in a new home, a place called Spindizzy. She liked it there, and was immediately welcomed, nobody seeming to mind that she was just a puppet. She liked it so well she contacted Rhonda and Darlene, who hadn't heard from them in years, and invited them to move here as well. They readily accepted, and now all three live here happily, even entertaining thoughts of one day performing again. Meanwhile, they are just content to have a place to

stay, and to make new friends.

Operating System Debate Did Not Change Mind

Last week this newspaper erroneously reported that an operating system debate had successfully changed the mind of one of the participants. @Action News has been informed that this report was in error.

Findra was misquoted in the article as saying that she would probably now use a Commodore 64, rather than a Sinclair QL, if she "were forced back to that era of computing." Her actual quote continued, "and if I were stupid and if it was one of the demands made by the people who'd kidnapped my parents."

Upon hearing the corrected quote, newspaper editor Argon organized a rescue party for Findra's parents, which soon marched to the edge of Spindizzy, walked into the Spindizzy Field, were thrown into the air, and landed safely on a pillow, made of bubble wrap and shaped like a dolphin, in Squirrel City. They regarded the expedition as "highly successful," and cast aspersions on Society of Evil Doers leader Morticon.

@Action News regrets the error. Findra's parents are reported to be fine.

Effectiveness Of Trix Rabbit's Schemes Debated

An extended conversation took place this week regarding the effectiveness of various schemes the Trix Rabbit has used over the years to secure a bowl of fruity Trix cereal. All participants agreed the most successful attempt, employed in 1976 and again in 1980, was to appeal to the public directly to vote on whether the rabbit should receive a bowl; he was successful in both campaigns and it was noted odd that the rabbit had not tried it since.

Peppermint speculated that perhaps the Trix Rabbit was no longer in reality tormented by kids who begin to give him cereal and then withhold it, offering the idea that perhaps the rabbit had journeyed to the planet of Altair-4, as seen in the movie "Forbidden Planet," and as the result of experimentation with the Krell technology there become trapped by the monsters of his own id, cruelly becoming the source of his own frustration. While the ironic elements of this appealed to many, it was ultimately dismissed as untestable given the body of commercial work known to date.

One recent attempt by the Trix Rabbit, to paint himself various colors so as to be camouflaged against the glowing streams of light emitted by the new color/flavors of Trix cereal, was dismissed by some parties as "pathetic" and "a sign he really needs help." Steve, speaking on behalf of a multicolored squirrel he knows, argued the principle of painting oneself many pastel colors was essentially sound, and that in the environment of the flowing streams of flavors it was workable. He proceeded to complain about every Cap'n Crunch commercial made since Jay Ward stopped animating them.

Austin reminded folks of a late 1980s commercial in which the Trix Rabbit turned himself into a robot in a very confusing attempt to snatch cereal, and noted this was unsuccessful, but could have lead him to an appearance on "The Transformers" or, perhaps, "Silverhawks." It did not.

The conversation them quickly turned to the recent "sometimes a tiger can change his stripes" commercial for Frosted Flakes, in which Tony the Tiger tears off his old black stripes in exchange for yellow-fringed lightning-shaped stripes, specifically, whether Tony the Tiger looked more naked without his stripes. The overwhelming opinion was that it was a ridiculous argument in the first place, and utterly inconsequential in the end, so the debate raged for four hours until everyone left, angry at one another.

Contributing To @Action News

Several folks have asked how to contribute stories and ideas to this paper. It's quite easy. Just write your story down, and send it to argon@spindizzy.org. (Be sure and include your character's name if you want to be credited with it.) Or page #mail it to Argon. Even if you think you can't write well, or haven't fully developed your idea, send it along. Our huge editorial staff can take any information and make a story from it. What you may consider a silly thing, or something no one cares about, could more than likely be of interest to our readers. Look at the stories we print.

Our editorial policy is to inform our readers of news concerning the folks that populate SpinDizzy, and the events that happen here. We prefer to print stories that are In Character, although Real Life news of players from their Character's point of view, or Real Life events and their effect on our Muck community are welcome.

Although our vast network of reporters, stringers, and informants cover SpinDizzy like a glove, sometimes things get by us, or we miss an opportunity to inform you, our readers. We depend on you to tell us not only things of interest to you, but to give us ideas and suggestions to make this paper better. This is YOUR paper, so let us know what YOU'D like to see in it.

@ACTION NEWS

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