The History of Raccoon Day

It seems that hundreds of millions of years ago, Raccoons, which were the most enlightened species of life on the planet, were constantly harassed by Dinosaurs. Although nimble and quick, Raccoons often were caught, and eaten by these giant carnivorous beasts. So, when a Raccoon escaped the fate of being a Dinosaur's dinner, a celebration occurred. As Raccoons advanced, more reasons for celebration came about, the invention of pointy sticks, sharp rocks, and of course, the greatest invention by pre-historic Raccoons, that of fire, by 'Shie-nee'. Fire was considered wonderful due to being so useful, and the fact that it was shiny! All of these days were noted as 'Raccoon Days', and celebrations were held.

The work of Shie-nee was followed by the discovery of irrigation, the wheel, writing, and architecture. No longer were Raccoons at the mercy of nature and weather. They now had control of their fates. One of the first 'Raccoon Days' was started when a giant shiny object fell from the sky and killed off all the Dinosaurs, leaving Raccoons as the dominant species on the Earth. Another day was added to the growing list of 'Raccoon Days. This led to the invention of the calendar.<

Time went by, and Raccoons made many advances. They built great buildings such as the Sphiny in Egypt, and grew food, working in harmony with nature and other life. However, from 400 to 900 AD, some experienced 'The Dark Ages". Raccoons of course, much preferring shiny things to those that are dark, and not basing their lives entirely on religion, superstition, or myth, were not affected. In fact, many credit Raccoons with bringing about the Renascence, through the work of great Raccoon minds such as Leonardo DaCooni, who created shiny sculpture and inventions, Coonpernicus, who invented the telescope and plotted the movement of the planets, Richard Shinysphere, who's plays were performed on stages with shiny lights, and many others who brought the world back to it's proper shiny place. All who's work put another 'Raccoon Day' on the calendar for celebration.

After the discovery of the New World, by Christopher Coonlumbus, Raccoons eagerly went west to settle. With the help of Native Americoons, European Raccoon were welcomed. Working with one another The Amricoons, and European Raccoons made advancements in both technology for the Americoons, and a closer balance and understanding of nature for the new Raccoons, and incorporating Native Americoon 'Raccoon Days' into the calendar. Here, Raccoons made their greatest advances, settling the West all the way to Coonifornia, Building railroads across the country, climbing mountains and exploring. The work of Lewis and Coon opened the great North West Territory for other Raccoons. The westward expansion adding even more holidays to the Raccoon Day calendar.

After the turn of the century, Raccoons raced ahead, the invention of Radio by Marcooni, The development of the assembly line by Henry Coon, Charles Lindcoon flying 'The Shiny of St. Louis' across the Atlantic, the invention of television by DeCoon, and the development of aluminum foil by Alcoona. All of these great events adding 'Raccoon Days' to the Raccoon Calendar.

Finally, the Raccoon's greatest technological achievement, that of landing a Raccoon on the Moon was reached. All over the world, on TV, and radio, folks listened and watched as the words, "Houston, the Shiny has landed, " were heard. They waited breathlessly as Neil Armcoon set paw on the surface of the Moon and said, "That's one small step for a Raccoon, one giant step for....Wow! It's so shiny up here!

The celebration, and joy swept the world, and as the date was marked on the Raccoon Day calendar, it was seen to have been the last 'blank' day on the calendar. It was now all filled up with the great works and victories of Raccoons. Each day was a celebration of the wonderful things Raccoons had done. And this is why, Every day is Raccoon Day