Argon - Editor
Centaur Takes Trip
There was no paper last week due to the fact that Argon, local Centaur was missing for
a good part of it as he
took a trip to his homeland to visit relatives. Argon particularly
wanted to see an Aunt and Uncle, who are advanced in age,
and in failing health. He was happy to see they were doing as
well as could be expected, and he enjoyed his visit with
them. They had seen him since his change into Centaur
form, so luckily. his appearance didn't cause them any undue
His trip to see his Aunt and Uncle in Virginia led him
through Georgia, South and North Carolina, and Tennessee.
Being from The South, he enjoyed his tour through the former
states of the Confederacy. Although the history of the Old
South has some things to be ashamed of, the modern South, with
the hospitality and friendliness of the people, the relaxed and
calm demeanor of life there, and the wonderful food and climate,
makes the modern South a wonderful place to live. Although
the stereotype of 'red necked, cousin marrying, racist ignorance'
is still alive and well in America, the South is a lot different
than it used to be. But enough about that.
Argon's travels took him through the beautiful Appalachian,
Blue Ridge, and Smokey Mountains, over wonderful highways, and
through beautiful scenery. He enjoyed wonderful food, (Okra,
hash browns, grits, deep fried chicken, all the stuff that clogs
your arteries and makes you die early)
The best part of the trip, was traveling I-40 from Tennessee
to South Carolina through the Mountains. This is a twisty
turny road through amazing cuts through the solid rock of the mountains
through tunnels and over bridges with cars and trucks moving
along at 90 MPH! I have to tell you, the hair on the back
of my neck was standing up, and I was sweating as I kept up with
traffic and had a GREAT time.
Over all, the trip was a lot of fun. I got to see the
'old home place' where my parents were born and raised in
Virginia, my birthplace in Tennessee, and immerse myself in the
culture of the South of which I am part and proud of. I recommend
a trip through the South to anyone who is stressed and needs to
In previous editions of SpinDizzy News, an early fossil forerunner to the modern Centaur was described, named Eocentaur by local otter Gilead, its discoverer. This primitive animal combined the torso of a primitive prosimian primate (a.k.a Lemur) with the body of an Eocene ancestor of the horse, known as a Hyracotherium, or Eohippus.
"As early a fossil as the Eocentaur is, however," chirped Gilead, "it clearly represents a fairly advanced evolution of the Centaur body type. It already combined both primate and horse characteristics, and had the right-angle, hexapod body plan of the modern Centaur."
Gilead speculated on what may have come before the fossil Eocentaur which he discovered.
"Basically," he chirped, "What's more primitive than a Lemur? An opossum. And what's more primitive than a Hyracotherium? An opossum. So the earliest version of the centaur was probably an opossum with a mutation in the 'Ultrabithorax' gene, which regulates the patterning of limb growth." Ultrabithorax mutations in fruit flies result in the growth of a second pair of wings.
The accompanying artist's rendering illustrates Gilead's proposed earliest centaur. To date, no such fossils have been found. Gilead, however, is not so sure.
"How would you know if you had?" asked the otter. "I mean, what's the top part? An opossum. What's the bottom part? An opossum. So if you ever did find one, and didn't know you'd found one, you'd just assume you found a pair of partial paleo-opossa fossils. Hey, that's a tongue twister!" Gilead continued to amuse himself with tongue twisters for some time, but did finally chirp that he assumed some fragmentary remains of opossa in museums today could well have been the first Centaurs.
||Due to a magical experiment taking place in Salem's apartment, kittens now overrun the room. It is theorized that a machine in the corner of the room is responsible for the incident, but without any eye witnesses, nothing can be confirmed. While it is theorized that Salem is behind the happenings, it being his home, no one can figure out what a small ferret would want with so many kittens, let alone one kitten that's bigger than he is.
One theory suggests that since Salem was transformed into a ferret, he's been lacking a feline influence in his life, so he sought to bring it back into his life by means of this machine.
Salem could not be reached for comment, although many of the kittens replied to our questions with a resounding "Meow!".
asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be
published in @Action News. The question is, 'Where
would you like to go on vacation?'
|Cye oohs. "The
"Upstate New York, or Nova Scotia."
"Someplace with water but not over my head."
|Gilead'd want to go
under the sea, on a submarine.
"Well San Diego, Disneyland, Seattle, Coral Springs
"Second star to the right. And straight on till
|Terra myrrs, "I
would like to go to Wonderland."
|Tarka says, "I
want to go on a long road trip around Oregon with a good
friend and see everything."
says, "I really don't have any idea. "
says, "Somewhere sunny."
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