Argon - Editor
Murdered Again -
Only Expresses Regret At Not Being Able To Make Out With Dead
In a series of events that a number of residents expressed a total
lack of surprise at, local sometimes-badger Maxl was killed again in
a bizarre ritual involving a knife and a very angry Aztec god. Expressing
a total lack of surprise himself, Maxl commented, "Well, we all knew it
was going to bloody happen sometime. I'm a knife magnet. Shame it didn't happen in time for Valentine's Day."
Whether or not this is connected to ritual sacrifices of unborn babies that the same god reputedly
performs is unknown.
Maxl Loves Dead Bat Girl
Maxl, local badger, has finally admitted his necrophilia and
love for Eris, local ghost bat girl. Maxl and Eris have
been known for their love/hate relationship since it has been
played out in the Rose Garden many times. When
questioned about his necrophilia, Maxl said, "Yes, I am a
raging necrophile. Of course I love the dead
girls." Eris was happy upon hearing this, stating,
"I've been after him for a long time to just go ahead and
*admit* the necrophilia." In order to learn more
about their relationship, I decided to dig deeper into the
past and pick out significant events in their lives (or
One of the first significant events (for this article anyway)
concerns Eris and Morticon. About a half a year ago
Morticon, local evil wallaby, turned Eris into a physical bat
girl again and she was able to walk among the living.
Not long after this resurrection, a mistake was discovered in
Morticon's process and Eris deteriorated over the span of a
couple weeks to a ghost again. Her love life with Maxl
got better when she was physical, but things started to fall
apart just as she did physically, Eris claimed. Maxl
doesn't believe a word of that and replied, "Well now,
that's just ridiculous. I've always liked Eris."
Not too long after Eris resumed being a ghost, Maxl died and
became a ghost himself for a while after his original body was
killed during an auction gone horribly wrong (Hint: It
involved Terry. Enough said), putting him on the same
plane as Eris. Eris said that Maxl wasn't dead long
enough to really understand what being dead was all about and
that he constantly complained. Maxl disagreed slightly,
claiming that "I was dead for two whole months!
That's plenty long. And as resident local annoyance, I
have the right to complain about everything." One
would think this would cause their love to blossom, being in
the same dimensional plane at last, but Eris said,
"Ironically, it [our relationship] seemed to die as
well." Eris said she'd like to try and pursue the
relationship but that things such as this cannot be forced.
Maxl sounded surprised when he heard this and said,
"We had a relationship? If we did, I guess it'd be
worth trying again. I'm pretty sure that one of the
reasons I stopped being dead is because it wasn't nearly as
fun punching her as I thought it would be."
Maxl's spirit-form was short-lived, however. Maxl
stopped being dead when Vassily, local sloth hero, resurrected
him using Max's blood since he was the only badger-like
creature around at the time. Maxl says he plans to stay
in his current wolverine body "until something goes
horribly wrong, like, for example, me spontaneously combusting
or just rotting away for no apparent reason. Not that
either of those are going to happen." Maxl likes
his form because "I'm tangential again, and people
consistently confuse me for Max, making for great fun."
As you can see, Maxl and Eris have had a turbulent past
together. Even with all the death and resurrections that
have occurred, their love has remained just as strong and
consistent as their hate and disagreements. I'm sure
we'll see these two lovebirds continue to display their
affection for one another in the park for quite some time.
A Short Analysis Of The
Since I've arrived to the Spindizzy over a year ago, I've
conducted numerous experiments and research progress into the
flora and fauna of the Spindizzy. During the conclusion to one
of my experiments, I discovered something very important about
the life on this strange planet. Everyone here is rather
friendly and outgoing, and even affectionate at different
times. Unlike the species of many other worlds, the
inhabitants of the Spindizzy co-exist very well together.
Predator sides amongst prey, seasons seem to come and go
without the normal hubub of mating and rut.
There are numerous species of animals living on the Spindizzy,
the largest grouping of which the omnivore. Varying in size
and shape, this grouping by far dominates the Spindizzy.
Ranging from small creatures such as mustelids to as large as
centaurs, it's a wonder there is enough food to feed them in
as little space as the Spindizzy seems to inhabit.
The technology of this world is fairly primitive, just enough
to keep the inhabitants comfortable and happy. There is
evident of alien artifacts throughout the Spindizzy,
presumably maintaining the atmosphere and level of gravity.
According to many studies I have made, there are even
underground settlements here and there which
suggest the Spindizzy is far older than it appears. At this
time I am unable to determine if the Spindizzy has always been
its own world, or if it was part of a larger
world that once existed. Geological studies have begun and my
results will appear when they are complete.
I recommend at least one visit to the Spindizzy by various
species of the federation, though I do not recommend visits
by the Klackians. Due to the large number of insect-eating
inhabitants, their life spans may become rather short.
- Part 2
Click on image for
As reported last week, Gilead, local otter scientist, has been investigating a newly-discovered fossil of an early Centaur species which he named "Eocentaur," meaning "Dawn Centaur." This creature, possessing the upper torso of an Eocene lemur and the quadruped body of an ancient fossil horse, is believed to be the ancestor of the modern Centaur.
Dr. Gilead maintains that various contusions and injuries are evident in the fossil, and that these injuries were indeed a driving force in the evolution not only of Centaurs, but of primates and of horses as well.
"I think this can be best explained as some Good Idea -- Bad Idea sketches," chirped the otter. However, Mr. Skullhead was unable to get out of his contract with Warner Brothers to illustrate this point. Therefore, the accompanying artists rendering will have to do.
"It is clear from the fossils of Hyracotherium that this small proto-horse would have escaped danger in the manner of its modern cousin, the Tapir," he continued, "by running its small, streamlined body into thick brush, thereby throwing off predators."
"Good Idea: Running into thick brush when you have the body of a Hyracotherium. Bad idea: Running into thick brush when you also have the torso of a lemur sticking out of it at a right angle."
Dr. Gilead went on (and on, and on, and on...) to explain that, unable to escape predators in this way (without significant injuries to the lemur half, as well as a possibly fatal loss of dignity), the Eocentaur was forced to evolve and adapt to an alternate method of escaping predators, which he believes is revealed by scanning electron micrographs of the fossil bones. These results will be released in a future article.
members for a dangerous mission that will result in fame,
glory, and a bit of fun.
Come along and see the universe as you have never seen
it before: travel through time!
memory had started to get out of order.
I thought I was fine, but then I started to forget to
feed my self. This
is dangerous, and not eating could result in me feeling ill.
To solve this problem, I need to build a time machine
to travel back in time and feed myself.
We have little time before I lose my mind again and get
I have done
extensive research watching cartoons and playing Chrono
this research I learned that this is how I must set up our
crew. We need…
Preferably female for plot reasons, but we are an equal
opportunity employer. The
Brainiac’s job is to wear glasses and do all the work while
everybody else gets all the glory.
The Brainiac needs to figure out how to build the time
machine. For a
weapon, the Brainiac is only allowed to carry a small ray gun,
which s/he must build his/herself.
As an additional note, the Brainiac should use big
words that nobody else understands.
When in doubt, s/he may make up words that sound
will notice the difference.
A lemur to
get in the Brainiac’s way and mess with all the scientific
gear: Suri is
currently filling this role, but feel free to apply as an
alternate just in case Suri does not make it after all.
A klutz, for
comic relief: I
know how much everybody loves Jar Jar Binks, but I was unable
to reach him. Something
about sleeping with a comic book store owner in Springfield.
For now, wemblyfox has the klutz position.
A Tough Guy:
I really am sorry, but the tough guy must be male.
We might accept a female warrior to come along too, but
she is not allowed to fall in love with the Tough Guy (no big
loss there). The
Tough Guy’s job is to act bossy and mean and try to lead
everybody without actually using any leadership skills. The
Tough Guy must fall in love with the Pretty Female and also
must have excellent combat ability.
The Tough Guy is not allowed to use ranged weapons, but
he may use claws, teeth, broad swords, daggers, or katanas.
As an additional note, the Tough Guy must rescue the
Pretty Female from danger every once in awhile.
Female: Her main
job is to fall in love with the Tough Guy for no apparent
reason. For plot
reasons, she also must accidentally be left behind for some
reason while we are traveling in time, so that the Tough Guy
can go rescue her all by himself.
Naturally, she must be able to survive alone for an
indefinite period of time.
Magic ability is recommended; technological ability is
not allowed. Combat
ability is permissible, but generally frowned upon.
When in doubt, apply and let Arkitah sort it out!
pose a reason for doing all of this: Arkitah, of course!
page or mail your résumés to Arkitah.
State what role you wish to fill (even if you have your
own ideas that I did not list in this advertisement) what
skills you have, and why you want to come along (optional).
machines have a tendency not to work in Spin Dizzy, I hear.
This is okay, since I am a magical dimensional
traveler. We will
simply move the time machine into another dimension!
Much safer this way; there are less paradoxes to worry
Setup Linked Up
the comments of a new denizen, Kibble, to SpinDizzy, the
character setup has now been linked up to the main Newcomer's
Island. Thanks to this kind person for all of the help, and for
those who contributed. A full credits list can be found in the
setup itself. If you'd like to view the setup, type 't #4211' or
go there from Newcomer's Island.
The setup covers several topics of
character creation, as well as a few extras, such as lsedit.
Lsedit is covered because it's a useful program for writing
character descriptions, room descriptions, and even using it in
your pinfo. Don't know what pinfo is or how to use lsedit? Check
it out at the character setup. Just enter teleport #4211.
Fearless Leader, Austin, has introduced a new global making it
easier to make custom responses to global actions. Now
when you get hugged, snugged, etc, you can have a 'reply' to
these actions. Austin announced, "It is 'respondto'
... designed to make it easy to set your hug-type global
responses and oresponses."
Austin says, "Use 'respondto hug
with message' to set your hug and ohug messages...Or 'respondto
hug with message && omessage' to set different hug and
ohug messages. (Or any global; hug is just an example.) It
should accept MPI and pronoun substitutions as-is, by the way.
So if you want to set an elaborate response, you can do
For example, you could enter, respondto
hug with returns your hug with a smile. Or, use respondto
hug with You return the hug with a smile.&&Jose returns
your hug with a smile. if your name is Jose. If not, put
your name in place of Jose.
Give this a try. It's just
another service of the fine folks at SpinDizzy Wizstaff and
asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be
published in @Action News. The question is,
'If you *had* to change your species, what would you change it
|Shoe says, "Back
to a Pig."
"Perhaps a fox. Not for the usual reasons, though. I
seem to be able to do good foxes, artwise."
|Gilead would be a
continuum of consciousness, encompassing all.
|Arkitah says quietly,
"I would change myself to an ego-point, a floating
point of awareness. Whenever I need a body, I would
|Findra grins at
Argon. "A raccoon!" E:)
|Kamida uhmmm's, well,
an elf, they live four thousands of years, my player that
is, uhmmm, if i had to change i probably would change into
a drow, if that would not be possible then into a wemic,
hear me roar. :)
|Salem says, "I'd
change back to a tiger"
|Leslie pips, "If
I had to not be a bunny I think I'd like being a magic
coati like Mrs. Natasha. Or maybe a giant like Mrs. Cye,
or a giraffe."
|Ringo says, "I
wouldn't. I like being a raccoon."
"Stay a gummi."
|Mavra yawns and
covers her mouth. "Sorry... mmm, I would say turn
"TIGER! TIGER! The Pantheris variety, not the golfer
|Rown says, "I'd
have to say... A kangaroo. :-)"
"I'd be a tiger. :)"
"if I had to...I wouldn't."
you were born this week you are too young to be reading this
horoscope. However if you were born during the week of February
17th, 2002 your horoscope is as follows: This week will seem to
be quiet and uneventful, but this is merely due to the fact that
the killer has severed the telephone lines, and may already be
in the house. You will not be able to take criticism lightly on
Tuesday and Wednesday, but you will be unable to able to come up
with a witty rebuttal until Friday. Your lucky numbers are
20,12,8,30,15, and 27 but unfortunately this luck is exclusive
to you and void where prohibited. See the possibilities.
Procedures for Submitting Articles
||Submitting a story
or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to firstname.lastname@example.org,
or qmail or page Argon about it.
Most any type of story or article will be accepted.
Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or
flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of
SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair
game. The things reported don't have to have actually
happened, (Any more than anything that happens here does.) but
make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of
interaction that we have. These are pretty broad
guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.