In a bid to take over the muck, Morticon, local wallaby
and Spindizzy comedy relief…Erm… I mean regular ended up in
a battle royal with Ringo, local Raccoon and Spindizzy regular
who was making a bid to take over Morti’s empire (if you want
to call SED that).
The battle began as Ringo tackled Morti holding him down
until he was “overcome” by Morti’s “willpower” when he
recovered the fur and dirt (and fleas from Morti’s pouch)
began to fly eventually leading to the more deadly and dreaded
insult war. More innocent guts were wrenched at this time than
at any time during the battle… That is until Morti tried to
take out Ringo’s throat. Ringo handed the win over to Morti
telling him to “keep his evil empire”. He then remarked that
he would “start his own evil empire” at which Morti
threatened to buy him out. A corporate battle ensued which
spawned catch phrases like…
honor your coupons
won't use them. Everything will be low priced daily
I'll.. have longer hours
be open 24-7. Driving my underpaid employees to the breaking
have a cleaner store! (Believe it or not Morti said that. :-p)
hire less employees, to keep the cost down.
I'll hire migrant workers. I can pay them
next to nothing.
eliminate customer service entirely!
my customers are unhappy, people die.
something has a problem, then it gets returned right away
= best service! gas stations.
And how they grew and prospered.
up Taco Bell won't help you Morti. :-p
I'll have a cute warm and fuzzy commercial campaign.
Yes, if there was a catch phrase written they
used it. Finally in a desperate attempt at drawing in customers
Morticon offered a plushie of himself but the doll insulted
everyone, said rude things and wet all over this Centaur when
squeezed. Needless to say neither one’s campaign was
successful so Morticon left taking his rude plushie with him and
left Ringo to dream of winning another day.