1/6/2002

 Argon - Editor
Drake Centaur Super-Hero Group Forms
  On Friday night, SpinDizzy saw an unprecedented meeting of 6 centaurs gathered at Centaur Square. And in a move sure to amaze our citizens and result in the publication of a double-bag must-have collector's first edition, our local centaurs have decided to form a league of superheroes to oppose the evil machinations of Moritcon and his so-called SED.

The assembled ungulates decided that someone must step forward to oppose that wicked wallaby and his plans to take over SpinDizzy. The equines discussed strategies, secret headquarters, advanced vehicles, and most importantly the really cool alter ego names and powers they would use in their never-ending battle against the mad macropod and his legions of evil.

With her recent and well-deserved successes in the academic field, Mavra was a natural to assume the role of Ms. Fan'taurstic, the brains of the group. It's the opinion of this reporter that the centauress, to complete the image, should use gray highlights in her mane and a pipe; this reporter expects a hearty 'e-gads!' as a response from Mavra on this suggestion.

Argon has assumed the role of The Spec'taur, phantasmal equine avenger. This was deemed good fit, what with his white horse aspect, although phosphorescent paint may be applied for that extra-spectral ghostly look. This reporter hopes that his power to cloud wallaby's minds will be effective against the menacing Morticon, although it was suggested that the malevolent marsupial's mind is already that way permanently.

Rown has been christened 'The Thang' and will assume the role of wisecracking heart o' gold strongman (or strong'taur) for the team. No word yet has been released as to whether or not Rown will have to cover himself in glue and orange Pop Rocks for the role.

Reiter will take on the part of our friendly neighborhood Spi'taur-Man. Although he impressed everyone with his proportionate spider strength and wall crawling - always a trick when you have hooves - he did scratch a great deal at the rash he got from the radioactive spider bite.

Newcomer centaur Rick was elected to the role of the Equine Taurch, centaur master of fire. In wake of this announcement, SpinDizzy Fire Department recommends that all locals check their insurance policies and invest heavily in fire extinguishers.

Drake has taken on the identity of the Martian Manhun'taur and will appropriately paint himself green. Suggestions that it should be a pastel shade, to pay homage to Disney's 'Fantasia', and that he shave his mane (as Martians have no hair) were met with a whicker-snort and a punch in the nose.

Some thought was given to the matter of costumes at this historic first meeting; although Mavra seems in favor of putting the 'taur stallions - well, mostly just Argon - in tights, the suggestion was in the end discarded.

Thought was also given to a secret headquarters, or perhaps a Stable of Justice. Mavra suggested that a secret hindquarters would be more appropriate. Drake suggested that the old Justice League satellite, heavily damaged in the Earth-Mars war, could be used as a headquarters although real estate agencies would probably list the wobbling space station with its decaying orbit as a 'fixer-upper'.

 The centaurs also made some talk over a name for the group, although none has been selected at this time. 'Just Us League' was suggested; as was E.K.W.I.N.E. Egotistical Kangaroo-like Whippers Investigator Network. lawyers at DC Comics were laughing too hard to make any comment.

Rown Arkitah
 

     Arkitah, local SpinDizzy… whatever he is, kind of in the form of a Centaur, joined forces with Morticon in alliance against the Centaurs of SpinDizzy. After cursing all the Centaurs so they would be plagued with nightmares conducted by him, Arkitah caught Morticon’s attention as a very useful co-evildoer.

     After making his threat to give all Centaurs nightmares, Rown tranquilized Arkitah trying to talk some reason into him but Arkitah got an antidote from Morticon who then proposed that they work together. Arkitah agreed and the two of them left to make plans. At this time nothing has come of the alliance and no Centaur has suffered from any nightmares yet. This could be attributed to the new alliance with the evil SED leader who’s plans always backfire.

     Morticon has always tried different schemes on the Centaurs from trying to blast one into orbit on The Orion Heavy lifter to trying to turn one into glue. Now he has an accomplice and fortunately for all the Centaurs his new accomplice has the very same luck with schemes.

ASP Press Associate Consider Changing Your New Years Resolution
 
Have you noticed how the monitor always adds ten pounds, especially after the holidays?  Or perhaps you notice increased artifacts around the house?
Do you suffer headaches and pains due to all the stress and strains?  Well, consider changing your new years resolution!  This time honored secret for pain relief was discovered by ancient Chinese typesetters and is today copied by thousands of college students!
 
An increased resolution is slimming!  With the resultant size decrease will come proportional diminishing of line weight.  The perfect solution for anyone who has had a little too much!  You'll finally be seeing the whole picture, with an increase of your desktop real estate.
 
On the other hand, a reduction in resolution is the perfect solution to set your mind at ease.  Take a short holiday, and place those annoying details on the back burner!  Even better, cover them with overlapping windows.  We have ours covered with meaningless charts and graphs, and you can too!

Mavra ‘Cursed’ Nightmares
 

            A warning must be made about being on the receiving end of Arkitah’s, local avian, curses.  Last week, he cursed numerous centaurs with having nightmares.  At he time that this paper had gone to press, this reporter has indeed had some sort of dreams that could be considered unpleasant.

             “It started as soon as I was dozing off, dreaming that I was waiting at a bus-stop,  when a stinky fan boy came up to me and tried to get into an argument over which captain was better, Kirk or Janeway, when he decided to put on a clown costume to try to make me laugh.  I tried to get away from him, he followed me around, not getting the hint that I didn’t want to be around him.

            “After dodging into a dark theater, I thought that I had lost him, but he showed up again, talking scene by scene through the film which turned out to be ‘Star Trek V: The Final Frontier’.”

            Then this reporter woke up. 

             The strangest thing is that while it wasn’t really a ‘nightmare’, it was just loaded-down with so many lame things that rendered it not scary, but rather annoying and, well, lame.  So be on alert for incredibly lame dreams!
Argon Classic Movie Might Be Re-Released 
  Disney is considering re-releasing the film Song of the South.  This classic mix of real life actors and sets with animated characters was made in the 1940s, and was a precurser to other films such as Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  The famouse song Zip a dee do dah came out of it. It's a classic, but because it takes place on a plantation in the South, they took it off the market.  To help support making this film availible again, please, go to  http://psc.disney.go.com/disneyvideos/moviefinder/products/0153103.html   On the left, under the 'no image available' pic, it says 'This title is not currently available blah blah blah...'  At the bottom of that paragraph it says 'Click here to let us know'. Click and a box opens asking for your e-mail and stuff, and a comments box. Just say something about how this film is a classic and ought to be available.  Animation fans throughout the world with thank you, as will I.
Argon Weekly Survey
  Argon asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News.  The question is,  'What's your New Years resolution?'
Mavra says, "My New Years resolution is to spend Thanksgiving with my family."
Cye says, "Not to many anymore silly resolutions n.n"
Arkitah quips, "My New Year's resolution is to, uh... never, ever make a typo agin."
Boki wa'arks, "It is to finish the Isle of Boki!"
Lavender writes down, "I actually never make resolutions."
Rick says, "I don't have one at this moment."
Morticon says, "My resolution? I'm overhauling evil."
Gina_Doberman says, "My resolution is to go to more cons this year! (Only spent 4 hours at one last year)"
Terra resolved to stop smoking RL. She's cut back a lot lately, 'cause her stress levels have lowered, but they've still been really hard and she's still figuring out on how to make do.
Gilead chirps, "Oh, it was to get my papers published."
Drake says, "Oh that's easy. Drink less coffee. Fewer juke jitters, that way.
Rown says, "To not make a resolution. :-p"
Lavender writes down, "I resolve to keep not speaking. :)"
Guest1 says, "Cut down on my caffeine intake."
Terry chirps quietly, "My new years resolution is not to die this year, and wipe out the entire centaur race"
Terra resolves to smell your spicy brains.
Argon  The Doze Garden (A not great pic of Patch and Nikon O'Black and their new Kittens!)
 

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Thanks!