Merry Christmas From @Action News


 Argon - Editor

Newswire Sources Terry Gives Suri A Hand
  Terry, local formerly dead Otter, now an Otter skeleton with a Sta-Puff coating, found himself the object of Suri, local Lemur's, attentions this week in the Rose Garden.  After being carried off screaming to Morticon's labs, she returned having apparently undergone a shocking experience there.  She seemed quite unfocused and confused, not acting at all like the Suri we all know and love.  What was the subject of particular concern however was the fact that her eyes have that hypnotic spiral look as seen in many cartoons.

It was assumed that, since Suri returned in this condition after being carried off by Morticon, that Morticon had somehow put Suri under a hypnotic spell, and was controlling her actions.  As she arrived, she began chasing after Terry.  Terry, in an unusual association with Argon, local Centaur, jumped upon said Centaur's Equine back to escape the cute, harmless Lemur.  Suri also gained access to Argon's back, and proceeded to pull Terry's paw off, bone and all.

Suri then leapt off Argon's back and ran off in the direction of SED (Society Of Evil Doers) Headquarters.  She appeared later, appearing perfectly normal, and having no memory of earlier events.  Suri has been seen under this strange hypnotic spell several times since.  At one time, while under this spell, she dumped ice cream on Argon's head.  The reason she, or Morticon would do such a thing is still unknown.

Maxl, Rotoscoped Badger Mindless Retro Popular Seventies Culture: Bashki's Lord of the Rings
  Several weeks ago I watched the horrible 1978 animated classic known henceforth as RALPH BAKSHI'S LORD OF THE RINGS. You might remember Bakshi as animating the world's first furry porn and animating the first film to feature furry nazis, so it comes as a complete lack of surprise that he would want to animate a world filed with super powered midgets.

You all know the story of Lord of the Rings, so I'm going to summarize the film as quickly as possible, because thinking about it makes me want to drink an entire bottle of tequila. Frodo gets a ring. It's a magical ring. He goes on an adventure, where there's lots of rotoscoped people. Things happen. The movie ends when a bunch of orcs die. That's pretty much about what I can tell of it without going insane, although there is one extra special bonus feature I have to mention - Gollum. Gollum, of course true to the books, is a wasted-away heroin addicted Chippendale dancer who likes to wiggle his bare ass at Sam and say things about how he's their slave.

Oh, yeah. There's also lots of rotoscoping.

SPECIAL BONUS FEATURE: The new film that also happens to be adapted from the same books, made by the first person to ever create a movie about puppets having sex  is probably   better, but won't have the INCREDIBLY SEXY GOLLUM.
Argon Local Jellicle Cats Expecting
  Patch and Nikon O'Black, local Jellicle Cats, announced Friday that the lovely Nikon is expecting Kittens within the next week or two.  Proud father, Patch admitted that 'Jellicle Magic' had hidden this fact from the casual view of friends.

Although inquiries were made as to the names of the Kittens, Patch noted that Jellicles usually name their children after they are born.  No plans have been made for a Baby Shower for Nikon as of press time.  @Action News congratulates the new parents!

Rown A SpinDizzy Christmas Tale
  'Twas the night before Christmas and no living thing

Was stirring or creeping round, not even Ping.

Morticon’s hordes were all waiting to hear

If good old Saint Nick was anywhere near.


A large wooden box they had set as a trap

With cookies and milk as the bait for the sap!

Flutterz was resting from tending aphids

While Slipstream wiped sleep from his closing eyelids.


Gino and Lavender lay in their hole

With stockings and baskets they hoped would be full

When jolly old Saint Nick would pass down their way

And fill up with presents the hole where they stay.


Austin was curled on a Christmas tree’s limb

He hoped that old Santa would not forget him.

A stocking he held as he slept curled up tight

Was open to fill as he slept through the night.


Findra set cookies and milk on a plate

To help out old Santa his stomach to sate.

Now Spin and Dizzy lay curled in a hole

The wind chill was zero, you know they’re no fools.


And me in my hobble my sword on the shelf

Awake for the coming of the jolly old elf.

When all of a sudden in the still of the night

A sonic boom blasted, a sleigh came in sight.


It flew through the air and then fell to the ground

 And landed so softly it made not a sound.

I watched from my window as Santa stepped down

With three little elves and a Lemur that’s brown.


Old Santa saw cookies and milk on a plate

Set under a box that was held by a stake.

His passion for sweets lead his caution astray

So without a care to the box made his way.


Then seeing his chance for the presents to take

Mort pulled on the string for the trap he did make.

The stake fell from under the box and the plate

But to his amazement the trap did abate.


And Santa ate well stuffing cookies away

Then drank all the milk while his elves cleaned the sleigh.

Then Morticon dashed to the box in a fit

He pushed old Saint Nick to the side in a snit.


Then stood underneath the trap with a frown

And kicked at the sides till the box did come down.

It froze to the ground and Morti did pout.

Till Mouser came by and melted him out.


By then Santa’s job was finished at last

As Christmas eve’s whisper fell into the past.

His sack was now empty there wasn’t a lump

He winked to me then in his sleigh he did jump.


The elves and the Lemur to the sleigh they all came

Then out to his centaurs he called them by name

“Now Argon now Mavra now Chiron and Reiter

On Rown on Dayseks, D`saynin and Cray.

 To the top of the oak tree! To the top of the wall!

 Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

Then up in the cold air his chargers did fly

Pulling the sleigh up into the sky.


I watched as the jolly elf vanished from sight

Saying “merry Christmas and to all a good night”.

Defeated by Santa Mort sat down below

Grumbling something he sat in the snow.


Till Kendra approached him a present in hand

She placed it before him then helped him to stand.

She smiled so sweetly and patted his paw

Then brushed away icicles off of his jaw.


You see my dear Wallaby Christmas is here

We celebrate giving this time of the year.

This joyous occasion we cannot deny

Even from you, she said with a sigh.


Then the S.E.D. Wallaby picked up the box

All covered in paper by the multi-tailed fox

Then opened it tearfully eyeing the gift

His tiny old heart beginning to shift.


Feeling some charity Morti reached in.

And pulled from his pouch a small shiny pin.

And gave it to Kendra his gift to the poor

Then Kendra smiled sweetly and went for the door.


As Kendra was leaving on a string Mort did pull

Then back came the pin to the wallaby's hold.

Then we heard him exclaim as he hopped out of sight

“My plan foiled on Santa but I fooled one tonight!  

This portion of a complete story Offered to the SpinDizzy paper for publication by Rown.  Read the entire work hereMerry Christmas to everyone at SpinDizzy and a happy New Year!

Mouser Top Ten Differences Between Morticon And A Christmas Tree
Christmas Tree


Looks ridiculously charming when decorated with tinsel and lights. Looks charmingly ridiculous when decorated with tinsel and lights.


Accepts being decorated with quiet dignity Loudly claims not to have a fetish for being decorated.


Requires cylinder-base thingy to hold star in place on top. Requires suction cup on head to hold star in place on top.


Candy canes hung on branches at risk from hungry passers-by. Candy canes hung on muzzle at risk from hungry wallaby.


Requires specially-designed watering stand. Comes with convenient watering pouch.


Dispenses wrapped presents freely on Christmas morn. Dispenses lemurs with extreme reluctance.


Fire hazard after Christmas. Health hazard 365 days a year.


Secret plan to take over world succeeds every year. Not-so-secret plan to take over MUCK fails every evening.


Little cardboard replicas are hung from automobile rearview mirrors. Avoids lynch mobs with disturbing regularity.


Upright and straight. Just ask anyone. Upright and straight. Just ask him.
Argon Weekly Survey
  Argon asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News.  The question is,  'Which is better and why, real or fake Christmas trees?'
Maxl grumbles, "Fake trees. But only with a colour wheel."
Mouser hisses, "Real trees, Argon. The frost giants will stomp your longhall if you put up a fake one."
Suri hmms. "I have one of each..."
Puzzle says, "Yes, we have a lovely fibre optic one with a colour wheel."
Kendra yips, "Fake.  They last for generations and you don't have to kill a thing for it. But, on the same aspect, they're made of plastic and petroleum, which in turn, creates pollution.  So, the better option would be to decorate an outside, living Christmas tree and keep a plastic one for generations and generations such as my family does."
Cye says, "real. Cause you get that nice Christmas tree smell n.n"
Morticon says, "Fake ones of course. Buy them once, they last multiple times, don't make a mess on my nice SED HQ floor, and I can twist them to my evil ways easier."
Clarisa says, "Fake."
Nikon says softly, "For me, real, I love the smell. For my family, fake, or they can't breathe."
PatchO'Black mews, "I prefer a real tree. It may be harder to take care of, but nothing says Christmas to me then the smell of a pine tree."
Boki squalls, "Boki does not like fake trees!"
Ashlyn hmms...pros and cons for both.
Ringo says, "I like the fake Christmas trees. They're easier to maintain, and decorate."
Argon  The Evolution Of The Badger

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