12/9/2001

 Argon - Editor
Newswire Sources SED Does Nothing This Week
  In a fine example of why the economy, morals, and the quality of life as a whole has dropped, the SED, Society Of Evildoers, did nothing at all this week.  No reports of plans to take over SpinDizzy, or attempts to take money property or anything else of value from those who rightfully own said items were made.

The lack of activity by the SED stands unexplained as of press time.
Argon Dead Poll Goes Nowhere
  After the recent demise, and return as undead spirits of Maxl, Eris, Terry, and until recently, Alicia, I attempted to start a pool to guess the date everyone on SpinDizzy would be dead.  Although there was some interest, most folks were required to pull out due to statements claiming that it would give them an excuse to kill someone, or go on a mindless killing spree.  Informing them that I was hiding the money in a place only I knew that that even Miss Cleo didn't know, most realized that they could kill everyone else, but by killing me, they wouldn't win the money.  The amount of the pool was, for many, not enough to deter them from killing me, but it at least let me know who wanted to see me dead.

In a somewhat related story, I have a list of alleged Bin Laden supporters which I plan to turn over to the FBI and NES with, coincidentally, many of the same folks who want to kill me listed on it.
Newswire Sources Sta-Puff Otter
  Terry, local former Otter skeleton, looks a little different now.  As reported earlier in @Action News, Terry had lost his skin, and had started an experiment to grow a new one using DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid) from Natasha, local elastic Coati.  To make the DNA grow, Terry covered himself in marshmallow, and placed the DNA in it.  Apparently, the marshmallow was considered a favorable medium in which Natasha's DNA would create a news elastic Coati skin.

As of press time, Terry looks sort of like an Otter shaped snowman...well, snowfemaleotter. However, the marshmallow has taken an acidic sort of quality.  Contact with the substance eats through skin.  As Terry's condition changes quickly, she may be changing as you are reading this.  
By Maxl, Extraordinarily Busy, Sometimes Assistant Editor Dangerous Trendy Media:  Disney's Peter Pan 2: Peter's Revenge
  This holiday season your whole family can delight in the insipidity of the latest direct-to-video sloth from Disney, in the form of Peter Pan 2: Peter's Revenge. Taking cues from Hook, which despite what everybody says about it, was actually a pretty decent film, the story follows a drunken, drugged-out older Peter Pan and his adventures back to the magical world of Never-Never Land, despite the fact that he's much too old to ever even go there again. In this respect it works like every fantasy novel sequel, but this is where it differs and goes into different territory. While Peter has slipped into the depths of despair, heroin, and cheap hookers, Capt. Hook has lived a high life in Never-Never Land off his wealthy gang of kung-fu pirate bootleggers, defeating children everywhere and bringing darkness and terror to the land. Can Peter Pan stop him and have a meaningless relationship with some jailbait? Will the world be saved again? Can the miracle power of friendship save Peter from his horrible addictions? Only time, and this no doubt horrible movie, can tell.
Argon Weekly Survey
  Argon asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News.  The question is,  'What is it about AOL (America On Line)7.0 that makes it better than AOL 5.0?'
Max says, "The same thing that makes Office97 better than Office95, I assume. Two more numbers, and a free Gerbil in Every Envelope."
Nikon answers Feren. "The answer for when you have no answer."
Alicia says, "1500 *free* extra minutes. * Note for every 30 seconds we must ask you if you want to continue to use AOL or pay $24.95 a month to get this message to stop."
Mouser hisses, "They used nacho-flavored CDs this time, Argon..."
Suri says, "I used to like it when the install package came on a 1.44 floppy. All through 1994-95, I never had to buy disks."
Cye says, "it was bad I assume? I love the Canadian version of AOL. AOL Canada! :)"
Cassie yips, "uh....it's got a bigger #?"
PatchO'Black mews, "It crashes in half the time?"
Reiter says, "Because it better describes the amount of deadly sins the program commits. The 7.0 Deadly Sins of AOL, in other words."
Alex says, "Alright. Sign up now and get 1500 free hours! * Note, every 30 seconds we will ask you if you'd like to continue our free trial offer unless you start to pay the monthly fee of $24.95 a month."
Blaque hmmmms, "It can watch what you do online more effectively?"
Gilead chirps, "Well, it's two louder, isn't it?"
Nimble says, "AOL 7.0 better? I thought they were both as bad as each other?" 
Argon / Boki The Doze Garden (The History Of The Evil Wallaby)
 

@Action News Info Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles
  Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy!  Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org, or qmail or page Argon about it.

Most any type of story or article will be accepted.  Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (Any more than anything that happens here does.) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.  These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply. 

Thanks!