Argon - Editor
Does Nothing This Week
In a fine example of why the economy, morals, and the quality of
life as a whole has dropped, the SED, Society Of Evildoers, did
nothing at all this week. No reports of plans to take over SpinDizzy, or attempts
to take money property or anything else of value from those who
rightfully own said items were made.
The lack of activity by
the SED stands unexplained as of press time.
Poll Goes Nowhere
After the recent demise, and return as undead spirits of Maxl,
Eris, Terry, and until recently, Alicia, I attempted to start a
pool to guess the date everyone on SpinDizzy would be
dead. Although there was some interest, most folks were
required to pull out due to statements claiming that it would
give them an excuse to kill someone, or go on a mindless killing
spree. Informing them that I was hiding the money in a
place only I knew that that even Miss Cleo didn't know, most realized
that they could kill everyone else, but by killing me, they
wouldn't win the money. The amount of the pool was, for
many, not enough to deter them from killing me, but it at least
let me know who wanted to see me dead.
In a somewhat related story, I have a list of alleged Bin
Laden supporters which I plan to turn over to the FBI and NES
with, coincidentally, many of the same folks who want to kill me
listed on it.
Terry, local former Otter skeleton, looks a little different
now. As reported earlier in @Action
News, Terry had lost his skin, and had started an experiment
to grow a new one using DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid) from
Natasha, local elastic Coati. To make the DNA grow, Terry
covered himself in marshmallow, and placed the DNA in it.
Apparently, the marshmallow was considered a favorable medium in
which Natasha's DNA would create a news elastic Coati skin.
As of press time, Terry looks sort of like an Otter shaped
snowman...well, snowfemaleotter. However, the marshmallow has
taken an acidic sort of quality. Contact with the
substance eats through skin. As Terry's condition changes
quickly, she may be changing as you are reading
Maxl, Extraordinarily Busy, Sometimes Assistant Editor
Dangerous Trendy Media: Disney's Peter Pan 2: Peter's Revenge
This holiday season your whole family can delight in the insipidity
of the latest direct-to-video sloth from Disney, in the form of Peter Pan
2: Peter's Revenge. Taking cues from Hook, which despite what everybody says about it, was actually a pretty decent film, the story
follows a drunken, drugged-out older Peter Pan and his adventures back
to the magical world of Never-Never Land, despite the fact that he's
much too old to ever even go there again. In this respect it works
like every fantasy novel sequel, but this is where it differs and goes
into different territory. While Peter has slipped into the depths of
despair, heroin, and cheap hookers, Capt. Hook has lived a high life
in Never-Never Land off his wealthy gang of kung-fu pirate bootleggers, defeating children everywhere and bringing darkness and
terror to the land. Can Peter Pan stop him and have a meaningless
relationship with some jailbait? Will the world be saved again? Can
the miracle power of friendship save Peter from his horrible
addictions? Only time, and this no doubt horrible movie, can tell.
asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be
published in @Action News. The question is, 'What is
it about AOL (America On Line)7.0 that makes it better than AOL 5.0?'
|Max says, "The
same thing that makes Office97 better than Office95, I
assume. Two more numbers, and a free Gerbil in Every
|Nikon answers Feren.
"The answer for when you have no answer."
"1500 *free* extra minutes. * Note for every 30
seconds we must ask you if you want to continue to use AOL
or pay $24.95 a month to get this message to stop."
"They used nacho-flavored CDs this time,
|Suri says, "I
used to like it when the install package came on a 1.44
floppy. All through 1994-95, I never had to buy
|Cye says, "it
was bad I assume? I love the Canadian version of AOL. AOL
"uh....it's got a bigger #?"
"It crashes in half the time?"
"Because it better describes the amount of deadly
sins the program commits. The 7.0 Deadly Sins of AOL, in
"Alright. Sign up now and get 1500 free hours! *
Note, every 30 seconds we will ask you if you'd like to continue
our free trial offer unless you start to pay the monthly
fee of $24.95 a month."
"It can watch what you do online more
"Well, it's two louder, isn't it?"
"AOL 7.0 better? I thought they were both as bad as
Doze Garden (The History Of The Evil Wallaby)
Procedures for Submitting Articles
||Submitting a story
or artwork for @Action News is easy! Just send it to firstname.lastname@example.org,
or qmail or page Argon about it.
Most any type of story or article will be accepted.
Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or
flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of
SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair
game. The things reported don't have to have actually
happened, (Any more than anything that happens here does.) but
make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of
interaction that we have. These are pretty broad
guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply.