10/28/2001

 Argon - Editor / Maxl - Associate Editor

Newswire Sources Nikon And PatchO'Black Exchange Vows
  Nikon, local Skunk/Jellicle Cat and PatchO'Black, local Jellicle Cat, exchanged vows last week to join one another in marriage.  Reports were that the ceremony was lovely, and the bride looked beautiful in her gown.  The groom also looked quite handsome as the two stood before a crowd of friends in Patch's Marshmellow Patch to become Cat and Cat.

The service proceeded smoothly except for a brief interruption when, Alicia, who performed the exchange of vows asked if there were any who objected to this union.  Morticon, local Wallaby and alleged leader of the SED stood up and loudly proclaimed his protest to the marriage.  Said Wallaby's muzzle was promptly clamped shut by Mouser, local Fursnake, and Kendra, local Kitsune.  Morticon, at that point left, and the service continued with nary a dry eye in the house.

A reception followed with much food, and many a toast and claim of good wishes and a long and happy marriage for the groom and his lovely bride.

Newswire Sources Suspected Terrorists Take Refuge Here
 

This week, agents from the FBI and INS were on SpinDizzy after receiving tips that suspected terrorists were hiding out here.  These suspects had been traced here by law enforcement by  foolishly left clues the terrorists had left behind that they had come here.

The FBI is asking for your help in locating and arresting these followers of Bin Laden.  They are:

Bin Paging,  Bin Posing, Bin Idling, Bin Spamming, and Bin using7eetspeek.  Of utmost concern to the law enforcement agents, is the notorious terrorist Bin Yiffing.  If you have information concerning any of the individuals, please contact the FBI at once.

Argon Low Occurance Of Population This Week.
  Except for the large crowd at the wedding of now Mr. and Mrs. Patch and Nikon O'Black the overall population of SpinDizzy seems to have dropped a bit during the past week at least as far as I've noticed since a lot of the folks I usually see around haven't been seen around by me and I just wonder if it being (somewhat) close to the end of the Semester or school or jobs and / or 'real life' might be taking their toll or perhaps the authorization the Government now has to monitor the Internet might have given some folks cause to reduce their on line presence or a combination of any or all of these things might be showing their effects by reducing the opportunities folks have had or taken to be on line to result in a smaller than usual but still active group here on SpinDizzy? 
Argon Far Verbs (Near and Far Globals)
 
There are two kinds of custom verbs or globals. One that works in the room you're in (near), and one that you can use on folks in other rooms (far), as in 'Argon centaurs so and so afar.' You can use any word you want. Here's what you do to create them. Let's start with 'near' verbs.

Let's assume you want to 'patpat' someone in the same place or room you are. Someone who is 'near' you. enter:

@action patpat=me

Next enter:

@link patpat=#139

To 'patpat' someone in the same place you are, enter patpat name. If you want to give me a patpat, you'd enter patpat Argon You can make it say whatever you want, just replace patpat in the above and below commands with the word you want.

To do the same thing to folks in other places or rooms than you are (far), enter:

@action farpatpat=me

Then enter:To use the far global, enter farpatpat name as in farpatpat Argon That's all there is to it! Note that it has to be one word, such as patpat or jeenkies or jumps_all_over, or whatever you can think of. May I suggest you keep them PG 13 if you're going to near or far global someone who's in public or with others. If you have any problems, I'll be glad to help.

Note that Morticon and Skyler have an alternate method which can be accessed by entering +read 41 while connected to SpinDizzy.

Rown The Tooth About Centaurs 
 

      I woke up with a toothache the other morning. Of course the first thing I looked for was a dentist, then I realized something. I rummaged around looking for a phone number or some other source material that could point me in the direction of a good dentist but after a while I realized that there is no dentist for centaurs in Spindizzy!

     Now there are those here that think that like horses. centaurs' teeth never stop growing. The tooth simply continues to grow from birth and we have to constantly grind our food to keep our constantly regenerating teeth from forcing our jaws wide open.  Or we have to call in a ferrier to file our bicuspids down every other year. Nothing could be farther from the tooth. (pun intended :-p)

     As Argon, local centaur and Spindizzy regular, is fond of relating, centaurs and horses have vast differences. Take for instance our digestive tract. Horses have the worst digestive tract on earth limiting them to a small variety of grasses and limited amounts of grains to eat. If they eat too much grain they will founder, if they eat long fescue grass they get very ill and in many cases they die.

     Horses cannot vomit either, which makes it terribly inconvenient if one should somehow get a hangover. They canít enjoy it as much as the rest of us. Then thereís walnut trees. To horses, walnut tree shavings or even the tannic acid from the husks of the nuts are toxic. Which of course means that auntie Mayís walnut surprise is off limits to them. The good part is, her fruitcake is also off limits too.

     But I digressÖ

     A centaurs teeth are more human like than horse. We grow two sets, the first through our childhood or foal years and the second lasting throughout our adult years if cared for properly. The utility being that we donít have to have a huge bastard file shoved into our mouths every two years and also, we can eat a larger variety of foods.

     Our digestive tract is far better than a horses as well. We are omnivores, eating meats, vegetables and fruits since we can we donít have the worry about the debilitating effects of foundering, although some tend to overeat and get really fat. We can also vomit as Iíve found out unfortunately, giving us the same enjoyment as anyone else in SpinDizzy when we drink too much which brings me to my point

     Well, other than taking the opportunity to drive Morticon crazy with yet another ďhorse vs. centaurĒ article, Iím taking the chance to enlighten all you readers to another difference. Since there was no dentist in Spindizzy I decided to partake of another medicinal practice spoken of by fantasy novelist and centaur fan P.C. Cast and tried to kill the toothache with a fine Merlot wine.

     At first the idea was a good one, the wine went down good and the warm fuzzy feeling went from my pallet to my hooves in no time flat. I finished the glass licking my lips at the sharp yet satisfying flavor of the rich red wine. But the tooth was still aching so I poured a second glass taking in the savory liquid, rolling it around on my tongue, washing out my crushed tooth with it, snorting a little out my nose at one of D`sayninís jokes! (It tingled too!) Then finishing the glass.

     Unfortunately, another of the differences between horses and centaurs kicked in at that moment. You see, centaurs are notorious drunks when they drink and especially wine, after all, when was the last time Ovid wrote about centaurs drinking Jack Daniels? No horse in their right mind (if they have one) would even drink alcohol but a centaur on the other handÖ

     That warm fuzzy feeling that went to my hooves also made those hooves very unsteady, consequently, I staggered knocking over a statue which hit a tree. The tree bent over and got caught on another tree locking it into a sprung yet locked condition which in itself was fine but I also staggered the other way and bumped into D`saynin scaring her so badly that she instantly changed into a huge metal dragon. I righted myself and stared at the huge spectacle before me thinking that I had certainly drunk way too much. She swung her tail around hitting the guest cottage and causing several guests to scatter in all directions and the cottage to end up sitting on one end of a huge raised construction plank left there by someone.

     As Argon desperately tried to hide the Sabine women, D`saynin's tail hit the statue forcing it up on the bent tree while one of the guests bumped the tree locking the bent one down. As I was still staring at that huge dragon before me the bent tree was released sending the statue straight up into the air and right down on the other side of that construction plank forcing itís side down and the cottage was sent flying into the air.

     D`saynin's tail then swung around and knocked me off my hooves. I laid there on my backs still not believing what was happening when the entire cottage landed on D`sayninís head blinding her and causing her to step on the plank sending the statue back into the air. It then sailed over D`saynin and the cottage landing on me. D`saynin, still disoriented, tripped and fell backwards and fell on the statue, which was laying on me.

     Iím happy to tell all of you that the doctor has said the cast will be off in a month. The fracture on my jaw will take a little less time to heal. The lacerations even less time. The bad part is, I still have the toothache and I still havenít found a dentist.

News Sources Halloween Party Scheduled
  The Halloween Masquerade party is planned, unless someone has a serious objection, for Tuesday, the 30th, all day, the culminating party will be starting at 7pm PST. Please don't let the time bother you, show up, in costume, and have some fun, whenever the time, there is bound to be someone about to scare. Plans have been once again made for the culminating party to be held at 1313 Mockingbird Lane, which with Wiz co-operation can be reached on Tuesday by entering  park  .  See you there!
Argon Weekly Survey
  Argon asked in this week's survey, "I'm doing a survey to be published in @Action News.  The question is,  'Who is your favorite Cartoon Character?'
Lamar yaps, "Daffy Duck."
Alicia says, "Sonic is still my fav *n.n*"
D`saynin grins :) Woody Woodpecker!
Rown says, "Newton!"
WillieBit says, "Vegeta..."
Mavra says, "My favorite is 'Snagglepuss'."
Mouser hisses, "Okay. I'd say Tex Avery's Screwball Squirrel, then. Now THERE was a character who understood violence as an artform..."
Tarka says, "Willy E Coyote....
AlexRaccoon speaks, "Bert Raccoon."
Cassie puts in her vote for Ranma then.
Blaque says, "Anyhow, I think I will go with.....Princess Ayeka?"
Maxl hisses, "Which I guess roundabout brings me to favourite cartoon character. Vash the Stampede."
Drake thinks......... "I'd say, Marvin Martian. Even though he's hardly in any cartoons. ;)"
Zeedra hmmss softly, "Gotta be Speed Racer. Oh yeah."
Suri says, "Okay, I'll take Princess Sally, then. It was pretty much her or Nala, but Nala doesn't have an S. Unless her last name is Lioness, maybe..."
Dellway chrrphisses, "Cartman...cause he eats a helluva lot too. ;o)"
Maxl, Dead Associate Editor Charming Local Badger Maxl Dies Again, Stays Dead
  Late Sunday evening, or early Monday morning, depending on how you look at it, charming local badger Maxl was murdered again. After an evening of morbid discussion it was decided that there would be an auction to take his life; bidders were Terry and Eris, who respectively bet a sidelong glance and a two-headed quarter, respectively, with Eris winning the auction. Unfortunately, this meant that Terry was horribly angered and decided to stab Maxl in the back, necessitating Eris' murder of the poor helpless creature in order to collect on her extraordinarily high bet in the auction. Unfortunately, this left helpless Maxl dead, and the prospect of another barbeque didn't make anybody very happy.

Fortunately, Maxl rose from the dead, sort of. He came back as an etherial spirit, not unlike Eris, confused over the fact that he was now dead and could no longer partake in the joys of not being
dead, such as eating and having physical possessions. It will also undoubtedly bring an end to the bizarre and creepy relationship that Eris and Maxl had; many suspected them to be in a creepy and bizarre relationship involving things that shouldn't really be possible between the living and the dead.

Maxl's untimely death has very little to do with Halloween approaching, and in fact he was considering dressing up as the rotting corpse of Joey Ramone. Unfortunately, being dead kind of puts a damper on holiday plans.
Argon The Doze Garden
 

@Action News Info Guidelines and Procedures for Submitting Articles
  Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy!  Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org, or qmail or page Argon or Maxl about it.

Most any type of story or article will be excepted.  Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy. Things that occur in public areas are fair game. The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (Any more than anything that happens here does.) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.  These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply. 

Thanks!