08/12/2001  
Newswire Sources Proof Of Extra Terrestrial Life?
  Unnamed scientists today at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory confirmed rumors that signals are again being received from the Viking1 Lander.  The Viking1 was launched on August 20, 1975 and arrived at Mars on June 19, 1976.  The Viking 2 was launched later.  On July 20, 1976 the Viking 1 Lander separated from the Orbiter and touched down at Chryse Planitia (22.48 N, 49.97 W planetographic, 1.5 km below the datum (6.1 mbar) elevation), or so it was thought. The Viking 1 Lander ended communications on April 11, 1980 and The Viking 2 followed on November 13, 1982, after both of them transmitted over 1400 images of the two barren sites. At that point, the mission was considered completed, and attempts to receive transmissions from both ceased.

Among other projects at the JPL is included a weekly sweep of frequencies used to detect transmissions from unfriendly space borne equipment.  During a recent sweep, activity was found on the frequency that had been used by the Viking1 Lander.  What at first was considered an anomaly was found to be coherent signals.  Recording began, and a quick scan of the data patterns revealed them to be quite similar to those of the Viking1.  Software and equipment was brought out of storage, and in one case, retrieved from a museum to decode and display the information being received.  This project was successful and soon, it was found that miraculously, the Viking1 had begun transmitting again.  

What amazed the experts, and has caused a lid to be put on this information, is the information that was being received.  Atmospheric tests revealed a  near Earthlike mix of gasses, and pressure slightly higher than that of Earth.  Gravity was .82% that of Earth, and Seismology records showed far more movement than had been registered from Mars over 20 years ago. It seemed that the Lander's instruments were either out of calibration or that is was no longer on the planet Mars.  The second theorem was proven once images were decoded and displayed.

The images received showed a lush landscape filled with trees and, amazingly, rose bushes.  A 360 degree scan revealed the Lander to apparently be in a park like setting, including benches, picnic tables, and a liquid water fountain.  A strange metallic looking object was seen, with what appeared to be pieces of paper attached to it.  Camera resolution was not great enough to read these notes.  It appeared that the Viking1 had somehow, while dormant, been moved to this position. As earthlike as this location appeared, it soon became apparent that the Viking was not on Earth.

Subsequent scans revealed that life, apparently sentient, visited this area and seemed to socialize with one another.  The fact that Earth life forms, Badgers, Mice, Foxes, Tigers, Coatis, and other recognized species were seen in the photos indicated that the Viking1 was perhaps back on Earth, but this idea was disproven as species that have never thought to exist were seen.  Centaurs, Dragons, a snake like animal covered with fur, and others 'mythical' types made appearances within the range of the Viking1's cameras.  

More amazing as the easy interaction between these creatures, usually considered predator and prey in some cases, was the fact that many were acting like Humans, wearing clothes, walking upright, and apparently actually speaking and having conversation between one another. Many of the individuals seen in the images seemed to be 'cartoon' characters.  What also seems unusual is the lack of interaction between these beings and the Lander.  A few have been imaged looking at the Lander, but no close examination or interference with it has been detected.

Requests to the JPL for an official statement concerning this rumor have been answered with a standard release saying the Viking has been inoperative and that an archive of information concerning it is available at http://wufs.wustl.edu/missions/vlander/ on a CD-Rom set which you can purchase.  The mystery of the reactivation of the Viking1 Lander is at this point, unsolved.

Argon This Week's Survey
  This week, Argon asked folks in the Rose Garden; "I'm doing a survey to put in @Action News, the question is; What's your favorite food?

Ping - Mouse - Pizza / Autolycus - Anime Kitsune - "Mmm. Pizza. It's a tie between that and shrimp for me. / Maxl - Badger - "I'd say a tie between lasagna and cheesecake, though. Mm. Cheesecake." / Rown - Centaur- "Oh, that's easy! Mine's beef enchiladas... Well, actually any Mexican food I like. Of course I do like Scottish meat pies as much too. Then again... Hmmm, I suppose it's a bit harder than I thought! :-p" / Lavender - Bunny - "I'm a Bunny, what do you think?" / Natasha - Elastic Coati - Marshmallows / Gen -Human - "I really don't have one." / Eris - Ghost Bat - Chinese / Gina_Doberman - Puppet Canine - Bar-B-Q Ribs! / Amy' - Fox - " I don't think I really have one. " Royce - Raccoon -  "Whatever I happen to be eating at the moment, I guess. / Nikon - Jellicle Cat - "Pizza!" / Stars Pyre - Ten no Ryuu - "Ohhhh . . . I'd have to say some superset of the vast expanse of all existence, nonexistence, and potentiality." / Gilead - co-otter-mundi - "Eels." Eleia - Orcis - Salmon / Roofus Roo - Red Kangaroo - "Can't really say that I have one, really."

Rown UFOs Sighted Over Centaur Square
 

Sightings of a strange object flying over Centaur Square occurred during the past week. Casual observers were speechless as the object displayed maneuvers not possible by current SpinDizzy built craft. The object performed amazing loops and crash dives along with other incredible feats of acceleration and deceleration. The audience was kept on the edge of their seats watching the seemingly impossible movement of the UFO. 

A spokesperson of the SED disclaimed any association with the object. "It didn't cause any mayhem when it appeared and it also seemed to work right so it couldn't be ours." This reporter was told. 

At one point one observer though he saw a chemtrail flowing from the rear of the object. Others claimed a strange white liquid like substance fell from the air as the object passed overhead. Fortunately umbrellas and the statue protected the occupants of the square, and nothing was hit except a few recently waxed cars. 

What baffled the onlookers was the occasional strange noise emanating from the object as it passed over. Described as similar to that made by air escaping a balloon, it was accompanied by a sort of intermittent screaming screech. After a while a strange smell fell upon the square and everyone left. The object hasn't been seen since. 

Coincidentally, before the UFO sighting, a large tray of Mexican food vanished from a bench in Centaur Square. The gastronomical delight had been taken mysteriously from the tray leaving nothing behind. Not even a crumb. The only thing left behind was a seagull feather and that strange odor that the UFO left behind.

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And consider, carpet shampoo is a lot less expensive than name brands for hair or fur care. So if you want to cover those bare places, call Dominique's at 555-RUGZ. 

Mouser The Doze Garden
 
@Action News Info Guidelines and Procedure for Submitting Articles
  Submitting a story or artwork for @Action News is easy!  Just send it to newspaper@spindizzy.org, or qmail or page Argon about it.

Most any type of story or article will be excepted.  Generally, we'd prefer things that aren't out and out lies or flames about other folks, and have a basis in the reality of SpinDizzy.  The things reported don't have to have actually happened, (Any more than anything that happens here does.) but make sure you don't overstep the social boundaries and rules of interaction that we have.  These are pretty broad guidelines, but we expect good sense to apply. 

Thanks!