Unnamed scientists today at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory
confirmed rumors that signals are again being received from
the Viking1 Lander. The Viking1 was launched on
August 20, 1975 and arrived at Mars on June 19, 1976. The
Viking 2 was launched later. On July 20, 1976 the Viking 1
Lander separated from the Orbiter and touched down at Chryse
Planitia (22.48° N, 49.97° W planetographic, 1.5 km below the
datum (6.1 mbar) elevation), or so it was thought. The Viking 1
Lander ended communications on April 11, 1980 and The Viking 2 followed
on November 13, 1982, after both of them transmitted over 1400
images of the two barren sites. At that point, the mission was
considered completed, and attempts to receive transmissions from
Among other projects at the JPL is included a weekly sweep of
frequencies used to detect transmissions from unfriendly space borne
equipment. During a recent sweep, activity was found on
the frequency that had been used by the Viking1 Lander.
What at first was considered an anomaly was found to be coherent
signals. Recording began, and a quick scan of the data
patterns revealed them to be quite similar to those of the
Viking1. Software and equipment was brought out of
storage, and in one case, retrieved from a museum to decode and
display the information being received. This project was successful
and soon, it was found that miraculously, the Viking1 had begun
What amazed the experts, and has caused a lid to be put on
this information, is the information that was being received.
Atmospheric tests revealed a near Earthlike mix of gasses,
and pressure slightly higher than that of Earth. Gravity
was .82% that of Earth, and Seismology records showed far more
movement than had been registered from Mars over 20 years ago.
It seemed that the Lander's instruments were either out of
calibration or that is was no longer on the planet Mars.
The second theorem was proven once images were decoded and
The images received showed a lush landscape filled with trees
and, amazingly, rose bushes. A 360 degree scan revealed
the Lander to apparently be in a park like setting, including
benches, picnic tables, and a liquid water fountain. A
strange metallic looking object was seen, with what appeared to
be pieces of paper attached to it. Camera resolution was
not great enough to read these notes. It appeared that the
Viking1 had somehow, while dormant, been moved to this position. As
earthlike as this location appeared, it soon became apparent
that the Viking was not on Earth.
Subsequent scans revealed that life, apparently sentient, visited
this area and seemed to socialize with one another. The
fact that Earth life forms, Badgers, Mice, Foxes, Tigers,
Coatis, and other recognized species were seen in the photos
indicated that the Viking1 was perhaps back on Earth,
but this idea was disproven as species that have never thought to
exist were seen. Centaurs, Dragons, a snake like animal
covered with fur, and others 'mythical' types made appearances
within the range of the Viking1's cameras.
More amazing as the easy interaction between these creatures,
usually considered predator and prey in some cases, was the fact
that many were acting like Humans, wearing clothes, walking
upright, and apparently actually speaking and having
conversation between one another. Many of the individuals seen
in the images seemed to be 'cartoon' characters. What also
seems unusual is the lack of interaction between these beings
and the Lander. A few have been imaged looking at the
Lander, but no close examination or interference with it has
Requests to the JPL for an official statement concerning this
rumor have been answered with a standard release saying the
Viking has been inoperative and that an archive of information
concerning it is available at http://wufs.wustl.edu/missions/vlander/
on a CD-Rom set which you can purchase. The mystery of the
reactivation of the Viking1 Lander is at this point, unsolved.
This week, Argon
asked folks in the Rose Garden; "I'm doing a survey to put
in @Action News, the question is; What's your favorite food?
Ping - Mouse -
Pizza / Autolycus
- Anime Kitsune - "Mmm. Pizza. It's a tie between that and
shrimp for me. / Maxl - Badger - "I'd say a tie between
lasagna and cheesecake, though. Mm. Cheesecake." / Rown -
Centaur- "Oh, that's easy! Mine's beef enchiladas... Well,
actually any Mexican food I like. Of course I do like Scottish
meat pies as much too. Then again... Hmmm, I suppose it's a bit
harder than I thought! :-p" / Lavender - Bunny - "I'm
a Bunny, what do you think?" / Natasha - Elastic Coati
- Marshmallows / Gen -Human - "I really don't have
one." / Eris - Ghost Bat - Chinese / Gina_Doberman - Puppet
Canine - Bar-B-Q Ribs! / Amy' - Fox - " I don't think I
really have one. " /
Royce - Raccoon - "Whatever I happen to be eating at
the moment, I guess. / Nikon - Jellicle Cat - "Pizza!"
/ Stars Pyre - Ten no Ryuu - "Ohhhh . . . I'd have to say
some superset of the vast expanse of all existence,
nonexistence, and potentiality." / Gilead - co-otter-mundi
- "Eels." Eleia - Orcis - Salmon / Roofus Roo - Red
Kangaroo - "Can't really say that I have one, really."
Sightings of a strange object flying over
Centaur Square occurred during the past week. Casual observers
were speechless as the object displayed maneuvers not possible
by current SpinDizzy built craft. The object performed amazing
loops and crash dives along with other incredible feats of
acceleration and deceleration. The audience was kept on the edge
of their seats watching the seemingly impossible movement of the
A spokesperson of the SED disclaimed any
association with the object. "It didn't cause any mayhem
when it appeared and it also seemed to work right so it couldn't
be ours." This reporter was told.
At one point one observer though he saw a
chemtrail flowing from the rear of the object. Others claimed a
strange white liquid like substance fell from the air as the
object passed overhead. Fortunately umbrellas and the statue
protected the occupants of the square, and nothing was hit
except a few recently waxed cars.
What baffled the onlookers was the
occasional strange noise emanating from the object as it passed
over. Described as similar to that made by air escaping a
balloon, it was accompanied by a sort of intermittent screaming
screech. After a while a strange smell fell upon the square and
everyone left. The object hasn't been seen since.
Coincidentally, before the UFO sighting, a
large tray of Mexican food vanished from a bench in Centaur
Square. The gastronomical delight had been taken mysteriously
from the tray leaving nothing behind. Not even a crumb. The only
thing left behind was a seagull feather and that strange odor
that the UFO left behind.
Dominique's Carpet, downtown SpinDizzy, states that "They
can match any carpet! Any color, any
style!" So, if you have fur, and it's starting to
thin due to old age, stress, worry, or from a D&D type near
fatal wound which, in spite of, you fought and defeated enemies
far more numerous and powerful than you yada yada yada, Dominique's might be
able to help you.
And consider, carpet shampoo is a lot less expensive than
name brands for hair or fur care. So if you want to cover those
bare places, call Dominique's at 555-RUGZ.