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First Annual Jellicle Ball

Patch O'Black.Spindizzy's first Jellicle Ball took place the first weekend in August, hosted by Patch O'Black, and held in his new Jellicle Ballroom located in Cat's Eye Cove. Running from 7 PM Saturday, to just about midnight, it had a peak attendance of about 20 at one point, and maybe 5 or 10 others who came and went thruout the evening. Comprising dancing, singing, and exhibition of Jellicle talents by the attendees, it was considered by most to be a success, and several people are already looking forward to next years event.

It was quite a gala event, with most folk taking the opportunity to dress up for the occasion. Our host was attired splendidly in a white tuxedo with blue accessories, and most other guests were rather well turned out as well, including Mayor Beltrami, as well as our premeire couple Austin and BunnyHugger. Others took a more subdued, come as you are approach, but most everyone paired off and joined in on the dancing and merryment.

Music was provided for the most part automatically, thru the means of singing crystals hanging thruout the room, with Patch playing DJ over the course of the evening. On several occasions Patch himself gave a singing performance, though live music was rare. There was an offer at one point for singing by local raven-gryph Fluffy, but this never materialized. Described in further research variously as 'unmistakeable', 'unique', and 'an event to remember', one has to wonder what might have been missed.

There were two events of note during the course of the evening. The first was when local mouse Xin, Zen's little brother, invited Chitter out for a dance. Despite some initial awkwardness and fumbling over whom was going to lead, they soon sorted it out and even appeared to be enjoying themselves. It's understood that this was the first dance ever for both of them. Upon completing their dance, Xin proceeded to kiss Chitter, as part of the conclusion of the 'dancing ritual', as he put it. Chitter was initially shocked speechless, and then immediately ran and hid behind BunnyHugger. Chitter did come back out to thank Xin for the dance, and the two of them have been seen closely interacting on several occasions afterwards. On one later instance, Xin was seen giving Chitter a piece of his heart, which later turned out to be red-foil covered chocolate. This could be a pair to keep ones eye on.

The other item was the opener to the show off your Jellicle skills part of the evening, when Patch O'Black and Beltrami gave a demonstration performance of their dancing skills. Patch set the crystals playing One O' Clock Jump, and they swung out in a peppy swing step across the dance floor. The pair executed twirls, tosses, slides and backflips, finishing with a series of tuck turns as the song ended. Other skills seen, although not actually awarded Jellicle status, were Pathfinder attempting to change Jimun back into a bat with a magic wand, and Jaxen showing off his hypnosis abilities. This was pretty much the formal conclusion of the ball, as people started going home shortly thereafter. Most everyone seemed to have fun, and the event was still being talked about a week later. Let's start planning for next year.

Suri Writes a Love Poem

A lemur reciting poetry.

Suri, local lemur and zinc enthusiast, wrote the following love poem which she recited at full volume in the Rose Garden:

"It's called 'O, Crummy Fate!'..."

"O Crummy Fate, corrode the Lemur's zinc,"
"And make the Time Machine's gears seize and grind!"
"Defile the Kaiser's Helmet with unwarlike ribbons pink,"
"And hide the Seventh Festive Substance so none may find!"
Suri waves her arms dramatically as she declaims...
"Make people forget Raccoon Day,"
"And get their firecrackers wet!"
"Loose the French upon Spindizzy,"
"And do all fell deeds, and yet..."
"Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz would be proud."

Suri sits back down. "That's all there is. I haven't gotten to the love parts yet." The lemur was awarded a round of applause.

Rice a la Fala

Rice.A relatively simple dish that's a kind of Critterish take on rice pilaf. It's supposed to turn green, but it's fair game to use food coloring if the spinach alone doesn't give it the right color. This makes about five human-sized servings, and makes a good side dish but is hearty enough to use as a meal, too.

Olive oil (about 1/4 to 1/2 cup)
Half an onion, diced (about a cup)
One eight-ounce package of mushrooms, sliced
2 cups dry white rice
One pound of spinach, washed and stemmed
Water plus salt to taste, or chicken broth (about 3 cups of either, depending on
whether you want this vegetarian or not)
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup pine nuts

Get a nice heavy pan with a tight-fitting lid. Pour in the olive oil, then saute the onion in it until transparent. Note that there's going to be more oil at this point than it looks like you'll need - that's fine. Add the mushrooms, and keep sauteing - there should still be some oil left over at this point, and if there's not, add a bit more. Once the oil is hot again, add the rice (which is still dry at this point) and give the whole thing a good stir to mix it up and coat the rice in the oil.

In a separate pot with a lid, add about a quarter inch of water and the spinach. Turn up the heat to high until the water boils, then put the lid on and reduce to low heat. This will wilt the spinach and also turn the water into a greenish liquid we'll be using later.

For the next five minutes or so, stir the rice around every so often so it doesn't stick. Once time is up, take the spinach out of its pan, chop it finely, then add it to the rice. Stir the whole mess again, then add the spinach liquid and the water or broth (and the food coloring, if you're using that). Bring this to a boil over high heat, then turn the heat to low and put the lid on. Give it about 15-20 minutes to cook - it'll be slightly wetter than rice should be - then throw the raisins and pine nuts in as a last step. Stir again and let the raisins soak up the liquid - it should sit about five minutes. Serve warm.

Optional extra step:
Spoon the whole mass into an oven-safe casserole dish, add grated cheese on top (your choice what kind), and run it under the broiler for a few minutes until the cheese melts.

Letter from Cousin Phoobia

Suri (?).

Phoobia Prunkling-Smythe
Time Lemur HQ
Secret Lemur City
The Past

Suri the Lemur
Launch Complex 19
S6 E8
The Future

Anti-Post December 25th, The Past

Congratulations on your safe arrival in The Future. While of course we knew that you'd be in a communications blackout for the several months your time machine was in transit, that does nothing to lessen the tension of waiting for that first message telling us that you've reached The Future.

The Science Lemurs are all quite taken aback at your report that the Horses of the Future haven't evolved wheels. They're wondering if you might obtain one of your friend Arrrgh's hooves, and mail it back to The Past for them to conduct tests on. They speculate that perhaps he may be a type of Vending Machine rather than a proper Horse. If you're correct and he actually is a Horse, then many theories will have to be rewritten.

Since you've been gone:

The Ravioli Maniac was overthrown in a violent revolution shortly after you left. Actually, to be honest, the Somali pirates interfered with shipping enough that his supply of canned ravioli from America became undependable. In consequence he resigned as Chief Lemur and went to live in America, where our scientists tell us that the streets are paved with canned ravioli (Professor the Lemur believes it to be homemade ravioli, but he's always been a bit of an iconoclast). You could tell he felt badly about leaving us, so after the Testimonial Dinner we held a revolution, with lots of explosions and pitchfork brandishing, and chased him to the airport. Now he won't feel like he let us down by quitting.

Afterward, of course, we needed a new Chief Lemur. I stood as a candidate for the Punishmentarian Party (our motto: "If you elect us, you will be punished"), since that seemed a reasonably safe party with which to enjoy the fun of running for Chief Lemur without the risk of winning. Stulgy Bob the Lemur was my running mate. The Science Lemurs assure me that the radioactivity has died down to safe levels (at least to where I can stand beside him as I make speeches), although his eyes still glow in the dark. On the positive side, this does make it easy to spot him when he transforms into a panther and goes prowling about. The Science Lemurs' calculations say that should stop soon, and indeed it does seem to happen less and less often.

In my capacity as Candidate for Chief Lemur, I attended several cultural events.

The Lemur Scouts opened a new Crisis Center down the street, in the old Cones of Obscurity building. I officiated at the Grand Opening. They set a wastebasket in the lobby on fire, and we all ran around in circles waving our arms and shouting 'Oy Vey!', until the Anti-Fire Department came to put it out. It frankly wasn't much of a crisis, but it's still good to see young Lemurs taking an interest in civic service. Afterwards, there were Lemur Scout cookies.

Also in my capacity as candidate for office, I dedicated a new statue of Sparklin' Bob the Martyr. It depicts him just prior to his martyrdom, striking the match to light the World's Largest Sparkler. The Art Lemurs carved the statue from charcoal, which seems a good choice of material.

We didn't win the election, of course. It's pretty much universally agreed that the "the Lemur/the Lemur" ticket won, although there are strong disagreements as to exactly which "the Lemur/the Lemur" ticket. There's some discussion that the result may be decided by a giant game of Painyata, although nothing is definite yet.

Again, congratulations on your arrival in the Future, and best of luck in learning the identity of the Seventh Festive Substance. Write soon.

Cousin Phoobia

Local Centaur Honored

A centaur.Mayor Beltrami had a little gathering for Argon, local centaur. With an invitation for folks to wear their "centaur" forms or outfits with the following invitation:

|      All are invited this Friday, August 28, 7 pm to the |
| park- Centaur Square- for a Taur Party.  This celebrates |
| the return of Argon to a community which felt keenly his |
| absence, and is to show our appreciation for his role in |
| the City's life.                                         |
|                                                          |
|      Attendees do not have to be taurs, but costumes and |
| transformations- temporary or longer-lasting- to join in |
| that spirit will be appreciated as ways to fully embrace |
| the taur idea.                                           |
|                                                          |
|           Beltrami, Mayor                                |

Beltram gave Argon a proclomation that was appreciated. It read:

|      Whereas, Argon Hamilton has for years been |
| among the most prominent citizens of Spindizzy, |
| and                                             |
|                                                 |
|      Whereas, Argon Hamilton has given steadily |
| and generously his time and energy to improving |
| the community supporting its population and its |
| events, and particularly                        |
|                                                 |
|      Whereas, Argon Hamilton has, with tireless |
| effort, regularly produced for all @Action News |
| as a unique and irreplaceable treasure for this |
| community, and                                  |
|                                                 |
|      Whereas, Argon Hamilton was recently taken |
| away from Spindizzy for too long while enduring |
| an illness, and this absence reminds all of how |
| the community relies on his contributions, and  |
|                                                 |
|      Whereas, Argon Hamilton has returned, both |
| in good health and good cheer, to Spindizzy,    |
|                                                 |
|      Be It Resolved that we the citizens of the |
| City of Spindizzy want Argon Hamilton to have a |
| tangible expression of our thanks, not just for |
| his presence, for his service to the community, |
| but that he is back with us.                    |

Argon was quite touched by this and was deeply appreciative.

Festival of Cuteness Awards Presented by Beltrami

Baby panda.

SpinDizzy's first Festival of Cuteness, one of the new official holidays, was held on June 19. Residents were encouraged to show off their cutest morphs, outfits, and behavior. After the Festival, a vote was held for four categories: Cutest Morph, Cutest Clothes, Cutest Accessories, and Cutest Performance.

On July 14, Mayor Beltrami, currently in the form of a two-headed, four-armed Siamese cat balloon, announced and gave out awards to the winners. A crowd assembled for the ceremony in the Balloon Field. Beltrami first held up the Cutest Morph Award, a small plastic globule in the shape of a bunny, and then presented it to Findra for her winged donkey morph. Her reaction was, "I ... really didn't expect that! Thank you!" Nigel said, "You make Hello Kitty look like Regular Kitty, my dear. And Regular Kitty look like a creature composed entirely of buboes and pustules, spitting ichor."

The next prize was for Cutest Clothes, and was a globule shaped like footy pajamas. Beltrami presented it to Roofus_Roo for hir sparkling, rainbow-colored fairy kangaroo attire. Naturally, Roofus_Roo responded by blushing.

Using her 3D-BB communication device, Beltrami explained that there was a tie vote for Cutest Clothes, and that the other winner was BunnyHugger, who was not present. She went on to say that BunnyHugger had also won the Cutest Accessories award.

The final award announced was for Cutest Performance, and Beltrami explained that there was again a tie, between Cute Wallaby (played by Morticon) and Adorable Kitten (played by Bonney), who were not present for the ceremony.

On July 21, a second ceremony was held in the Rose Garden to present awards to the people who had not been present for the first ceremony. Beltrami first presented the Cutest Clothes award to local devilbunny BunnyHugger. BunnyHugger's outfit for the Festival of Cuteness was a set of rain gear including cape, hat, and four boots, all in yellow. Upon receiving the award she blushed slightly and polished it with her paw.

Next Beltrami gave out the awards for Cutest Performance, which were globules in the shape of ballet slippers. Morticon received one for his performance as the Cute Wallaby, and Bonney for her performance as the Adorable Kitten. During the Festival of Cuteness, the two of them used these cute guises to lead everyone into a trap and rob them with the aid of a giant magnet. Nevertheless, the citizens of SpinDizzy were willing to overlook this incident in the voting. Morticon's reaction was, "I've been recognized for my comic genius!" and Bonney responded, "My turn! Aye! Th' cap'n gets 'er due!"

The last award given out was the Cutest Accessories award, which was a plastic globule shaped like deelybop antennae. Beltrami presented it to BunnyHugger, whose rain ensemble apparently counted as both clothes and accessories in voters' minds. "Aw... thank you," was the devilbunny's response. Morticon grinned and remarked, "BunnyHugger is a multi award winner," which led Bonney to complain, "I wants two 'wards!"

The event ended with Beltrami reminding everyone of the next official holiday, the Jellicle Ball.


Paper.Thank you to everyone who contributed to the newspaper this week!

Special thanks go to:

Leowulf, for the article about the Jellicle ball,
Suri, for her love poem.
B. J. for the rice dish,
Phoobia, for the letter from the future,
Argon, for the article on the nice proclomation,
BunnyHugger, for the article on the Festival of Cuteness,
Patch O'Black for article on Hawkman and others,
Gilead, for his tiny puns, And Gilead, for the Doze Garden cartoon.

Four-Kolor Kitty: Winged Wonders!

Supercat - Patch O'Black (Art by Chanspot).Greetings and salutations, readers! This time we will be looking at those high-flying heroes who take to the air the old-fashion way: with a pair of wings! Whether they be natural or made of metal, feathered or leathery, it is the classic method of going aloft.

The most well-known of these is, arguably, Hawkman. Originally, Hawkman was one Carter Hall, an archaeologist who discovers he is the reincarnation of an ancient Ehyptian prince, Khufu. With the discover of the mysterious "ninth metal", which negated the effects of gravity, and the use of a harness with a pair of large wings, he would swoop down on criminals.

Hawkman and Superman.He would become a member of the Justice Society of America, and even got a partner in both crimefighting in Hawgirl, who was the reincarnation of his bride from ancient Egypt. In the Silver Age, he would be re-invented as policeman from the planet Thanagar, and his name would be spelled "Katar Hol".

He would come to Earth with his wife and partner Shayera chasing a criminal. They would adopt the Earth identities of Carter and Shiera Hall, and become curators of a museum.Hawkgirl.

Sandwich.Again, he would become a member of the foremost crime-fighting team, this time the Justice League of America. Many years later, and after many alterations, the two origins were combined: Hawkman and his wife have been reincarnated several times, with the Carter Hall of the Justice Society being reincarnated as Katar Hol. It was also revealed that, as Khufu, he discovered a crash-landed Thanagarian ship.Silver age Hawkman. In the far future, with the Legion of Super-Heroes, there is another winged hero, a beautiful young lady by the name of Dawnstar.

She is from a planet known as Starhaven that was populated by native Americians who were abducted from Earth in the 13th century by an alien race. The same race also subjected them to genetic enginering, giving them all a pair of white-featherd wings, giving them an angelic appearance.

In addition to this, she has an uncanny ability to track people and things, even over long distances. She could also survive in deep-space by generating a natural, self-sustaining environmental field.

Dawnstar LaRocqu.Dawnstar.jpgDawnstar and Superboy.Often under-rated, she was really quite a valuable team-member.

Avenging Angel.Over on Marvel's side of the fence, they have a mutant named Warren Kenneth Worthington III. Born as the heir of the multi-billion dollar company Worthington Industries, he could lead a life of privilage and luxury. However, due to the mutant "x-factor" in his genes, he was born with a pair of feathered wings. When a fire at his college, he grabbed a costume from the drama department, and flew in. Thus began his carer as "The Avenging Angel",

which would lead him to becoming a member of the X-Men, his code-name being shortened to "Angel".

Later, after his wings were cut-off due to injuries suffered in battle, an powerful evil entity known as Apocalypse took Warren and offered to regrow his wings if he would serve him as one of his "Horsemen", specifically Death. He was subjected to extensive alterations, both genetically and mentally, gaining blue skin and metallic wings that could throw out "feather" knives.Avenging Angel 2.

Uncanny X Men Archangel.Eventually, he would throw off the mental conditioning and become known as "Archangel". Even later, he would regain his original skin tone and feathered wings, though it has been discovered he can return to his Archangel form.

A bit lesser-known is The Falcon. Born as Samuel Thomas Wilson, he became a victim of an experiment done by the uber-Nazi, The Red Skull, being bonded with a falcon known as Redwing.

Captain America would rescue him, and together they would create the Falcon's new heroic persona, which would include a harness with a pair of wings that allows him to fly like his namesakes.

Angel.Angel again.The current version of his suit generates "hard light" wings, and uses "magnetic drive" for thrust. Angel 2.

Falcon.His internal powers have also gone from simple a mental link to Redwing to being able to link with any birds. A bit like being the arial version of Aquaman, which isn't as lame as some folks might think. After all, he has Captain America's seal of approval.

With that, it is time for me to fly! Remember, if you have a question or subject for future Four-Kolor Kitty columns, just send them winging over to me, PatchO'Black. Until next time, I'll see you in the funny pages!

Gilead's Tiny Puns


Q: What do you call a gelatinous cell right before it divides?
A: Twomoebas.

Q: What kind of cell is best to party with?
A: A fungus.

Q: What do you call a camel with two humps, that's dead and rotting?
A: A bacterian.

Q: Why was the thymus sued by the NAACP?
A: It was only allowing white blood cells to pass.

Q: What fills the heads of stupid people?
A: Neuroffs.

Q: Why wouldn't anyone play games with the baby bread mold?
A: He was always a spoilspore.

Q: Why did the police hassle the Clostridium perfringens?
A: He was wearing his gangrene colors.

Q: Why did the spore make the loaf of bread rise?
A: Eh, it was the yeast he could do.

Q: Why do Paramecia tell the best jokes?
A: They're silly-ated.

Doze Garden Cartoon

Doze Garden cartoon.

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