Volume IX - Issue 402 - September 9, 2008
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|Bunnyhugger||Mayor Beltrami Honors FurToonian Mayor|
On the evening of August 31, Beltrami, the Mayor of SpinDizzy, presented a certificate to BunnyHugger to congratulate her on being elected Lord Mayor of FurToonia. The presentation took place in the Park of the Day, which at the time was S1 E5, Rhyme of the Ancient Fens. The Deputy Lord Mayor of FurToonia, Chitter Squirrel, was also present and received congratulations.
The text of the certificate was as follows: "The Offices of Mayor and Deputy Mayor of Spindizzy City congratulate BunnyHugger on her recent election as Lord Mayor of FurToonia City, and also to Chitter on his election as Deputy Mayor. We hope they provide to the citizens of FurToonia effective, useful, and wise civil government. Furthermore we hope that our cities will be able to enjoy a productive and harmonious friendship." It was signed "Beltrami, Mayor," and "Portia, Deputy Mayor."
Upon receiving the certificate, BunnyHugger raised herself up on her hind legs and said, "It is a great honor to receive this recognition from the mayor of the City of Spindizzy, Mayor Beltrami. Your city is a more prosperous one than my own, and I hope that I can learn by your example. I hope this will be the beginning of a great cultural exchange between our worlds." She then bowed to Beltrami.
BunnyHugger's career as Lord Mayor of FurToonia began on the evening of August 26. She had previously announced her intention to offer her services as Mayor and had specified that the election would be held in Town Square of FurToonia at 9 p.m. local time. She was elected unanimously by a show of paws of all people who attended the election, and later the same evening she appointed Chitter to the position of Deputy Lord Mayor as her first official act.
"My primary goal as Lord Mayor of FurToonia is to bring interest and life back to this once-great city," BunnyHugger said. "There are so many wonderful places to visit in FurToonia, and many wonderful people, too, if they would only come out and play more. I hope my friendly presence will help encourage them to."
|Argon||Mouse Saved by Old Soviet Technology|
Zen is well known for his somewhat hyperactive nature. He is often seen running in circles and being quite active. This hyperactivity is increased when he consumes chocolate, sugar or caffine. These substances cause Zen's active nature to increase quite a bit, sometimes to the point of potiential injury to himself.
Borris, local polar bear and veteran of the old Soviet Union, decided to offer Zen a Jolt Cola. This reporter credits this action with ignorance on Borris' part, of Zen's hyperactive condition. Zen, in spite of warnings from friends, drank the energy drink and suffered its almost immediate effects. He began running and bouncing around far much more than usual. His pupils were dialated, his beathing extremely fast and his actions became just out of control.
As he ran faster and faster, Zen found himself physically overloading his body and not suprizingly, he stopped in his tracks and fell flat on his back. His eyes had the standard "cartoon" X's and a quick check indicated his heart had stopped!
Borris, having "aquired" a large amount of old Soviet era technolgy quickly pulled out a very large, very powerful CPR machine from that era. After loading coal in its boiler and waiting for the vaccuum tubes to warm up, he applied the paddles, which looked remarkably like 1950's steam irons and yelled, "Clear!" The boiler smoked, the tubes flared and a deep hum eminated from Borris'complicated machine. Suddenly there was a bright spark and a loud crackling noise and Zen began breathing again.
After a few minutes, Zen was feeling better and Borris wheeled away the CPR machine. Zen was reminded that such drinks weren't good for him, and Borris was thanked for saving the mouse, but reminded to be careful what snacks he offers to whom.
|Various Sources||SED Defeats The Antiraccoon Once and For All|
The usual Rose Garden chatter was interrupted by a little excitement this past weekend when local buffoon The Antiraccoon (or "Anti" for short) challenged Morticon to a fight. Morticon enthusiastically accepted Anti's challenge. Several bystanders followed to watch the spectacle.
After losing ground in the initial skirmish, The Antiraccoon transformed into a terrible tentacle monster. Anti made quick work of a SED Operative, but SED regrouped and managed to drive the The Antiraccoon away. Without Morticon's leadership, Portia's quick thinking and Andreas' ability to blow things up, the results could have been much worse. Although The Antiraccoon shockingly attacked innocent bystanders during the fight, a single SED operative was the only casualty. All in all, it was a sound thrashing for the Antiraccoon and another glorious victory for SED!
Note: This is actually an ongoing RP plotline. I'm currently looking for volunteers to help me run the plot, so please contact me if you are interested! My alts are Luaie and Agyre. If you need to send a pmail, send it to Agyre. Thanks!
|Various Sources||Centaur Struck by Curious Disorder|
Spindizzy may be a strange place, but things got even stranger on Tuesday with Argon, local centaur, adopting the tone and cadence of recently deceased voice over artist Don LaFontaine. Cora, local bear, was for example greeted with "In a world where bears in ballet outfits roam free, one centaur says hi." Others reported similar odd greetings.
Locals were flummoxed. Said Cora. "I liked Don LaFontaine as well and was familiar with his work, but this?" Others were philosophical. "I'm sure this is temporary." Ba'ar, local bear is quoted as saying. "He'll go back to speaking in his normal manner soon."
The biggest question, why was Argon talking like this? Even scientists were stumped by what they termed, "LaFontaineitis". "From what I can tell, Argon's healthy as...well....a horse." shrugged Kanganstein, local undead kangaroo. "There is nothing wrong with him, psychologically or physically. The only option now is to wait and see if this rather odd...'disorder'...becomes better or worse."
Reached for comment on his strange vocal patterns, Argon was heard to say. "In a world where the greatest movie trailer voice of all time has been lost, one centaur mourns his passing."
(Editor's note: Don LaFontaine's passing has brought renewed interest in his career. After being nicknamed, "The Voice of God," due to the resonance and authortative tone of his voice, he named his home studio, "The Voice of God Studio". Able to poke fun at himself and his successful career, he and several other well known voice over artists were in a short film made for 26th Annual Hollywood Reporter Key Art Awards called 5 Men and a Limo. If you view the film, be sure and watch all the way through the credits for a final joke at the very end.)
|Argon||Green Polar Bears Disrupt Scotsfest|
Borris, local polar bear attended the "The Longs Peak Scottish / Irish Highlands Festival, or "Scotfest", which was held last weekend, September 4 - 7, 2008, and was disrupted by some rowdy Irish polar bears.
The annual festival is held for Scottish and Irish and other folks of Celtic origion or ancestry to gather and celebrate their combined histories. Although both Scotts and Irish folks enjoy a taste of an alcoholic beverage once in a while, and many boast that the Irish or Scotts can hold their liquor better than the other, no public display or results from such activity are readily apparent.
Borris, is a proud Scottsbear. His distant ancestors lived in Scotland during the last ice age. As no humans were there, these Scottish Bears set the standards for human settlers that came later. Polar bears, it has been found, went south and built Stonehenge, many castles and other artifacts, and unlike the Irish polar bears, developed the process for distilling Scotch, named after its home place. Irish bears also developed stills and brewed a concoction called "I-rish" named more after the slurred request for more, as in "I rish I 'ad more o' dis drink," than it's place of origion. Because of its harshness the tendency to leave the consumer with a splitting headache, there is no drink named "Irish".
History aside, the Scotsfest was disrupted by a group of Irish polar bears who, after enjoying a few too many, returned to the grounds of the festival totally nekkid and trying to pick fights with the Scotts. Rumor has it that the Irish were upset after losing a drinking contest with the Scottish polar bears. Having painted their fur shamrock green, they wandered around picking on the Scotts of all species. Most of the Scotts simply walked away, not wishing to engage in a battle of wits with an adversary that was only half armed. After a while, the Scottish, "Pipes of Nails on Chalkboard" were called and their bagpipe play caused the sensitive ears of the hungover Irish polar bears to hurt and they rushed off.
Harboring no ill feelings, the Scotts welcomed the Irish bears back the next day and a good time was had by all. Note that as of press time, what Scotts wear under their kilts is still unknown and not a topic of research this reporter intends to pursue.
|Various Sources||Labor Day Shindig|
On Labor Day evening, Spindizzians of all stripes (and spots and other fur colors) gathered at the home of Cora, local bear (and party maven) for the much anticipated Labor Day party. The party was well attended by several members of the Spindizzy community and there was food and fun for everyone. The fun was enhanced by the fact that Patch O' Black, local jellicle cat, had brought his ice cream cart, offering sundaes and such to whoever wanted them.
Not everything went smoothly however. Zen, local mouse drank an energy drink and started going wild, running hither and yon and and squeaking up a storm. Fortunately Cora was there to catch Zen and pin him down until the sugar rush was over. Zen's wild antics tired him out, so Cora, sweeite that she was, brought out a pillow and blanket and tucked in Zen using a lawn chair as a crude bed.
Another problem was that Morticon, local wallaby and another one of the party goers, drink too much soda pop, the bubbles causing him to float off the ground for a time (this even though Cora insisted that she had not stocked any of WIllie Wonka's famouse "Fizzy Lifting Drinks). Fortunately this was easily solved, as the hapless wallaby started burping and with the release of gas, was able to touch the ground again.
Overall the party was a success. Quoth Cora, "If you liked this party, wait 'till you see what I do for next month's Halloween-themed shindig!"
|@Action News staff||Thanks!|
Special thanks go to:
Bunnyhugger, for her most modest article about being named Mayor in Furtoonia,
|Gilead||Gilead's Hopping Good Time Puns|
Why did the bunny get a new digital cable-ready TV with Dolby surround sound?
Did you hear about the bunny assassin who always killed his victims with a root veggie to the throat?
Q: Did you hear about the new gender-segregated rabbit owners' association?
Q: Did you hear about the new bunny-scented floor cleaner?
Q: What did the frog say when he saw a bunny?
Q: Did you hear about the librarian whose wig was eaten by her pet rabbit?
Q: Why did the bunny tragically lose his feet?
Q: What does a bunny whose luck ran out use to get around?
Q: How do you get fresh with a rabbit?
Q: Why did the illiterate man get an un-intended vasectomy?
Q: What's a fox's favorite sandwich?
What's the world's most obnoxious bunny?
Q: What do you call an indigenous Finnish bunny?
Q: How does a stripper bunny maximize her tips?
Q: What do foxes like to eat at the fair?
Q: Who leads the Jewish bunnies?
Q: Who tried to exterminate all the Jewish bunnies?
Q: Where did Adolph Rabbitler spend his final days?
Q: How do baby bunnies get what they want for Xmas?
|Not a clue||Doze Garden Cartoon|
A centaur who has passed away is somehow mistakenly sent to otter Heaven.
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